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Chapter 13

Posted on Monday, 30 May 2005

The rain slashed against the windows, pelting the wooden slats of the boardwalk with its icy raindrops and sending wind howling past. The sky was gray and the air chilly. Madeline was grateful to be inside where it was considerably warmer. "What a sucky summer day," she said, looking out the window. There was nothing out there to watch except the dismal rain. The horrid weather had kept everyone inside all day, tourists and San Franciscans alike. Even the seagulls that usually swooped and perched along the boardwalk were conspicuously absent that afternoon.

With the entire world seeking shelter from the rain, it'd been a slow day at work. So far they'd only had seven customers and two sales, and the afternoon was almost half gone.

"If it's going to be like this the rest of the day, I think I'm going to cut out early this afternoon."

"Hm." Madeline looked to the weather and then the empty store, and said, "I may join you in that. Should we just finish what we're doing then?"

"Yeah." Elaine answered without looking up. She picked up another ceramic teacup and wrapped it in some bubble wrap before adding it to the box she'd been packing for one of their customers.

Madeline watched her friend as she worked. Elaine had been quiet all day long. All week long. It wasn't like her.

The shrill ring of the telephone shattered the silence. "Kilnworks. This is Madeline speaking, how may I help you? Oh, sure. Hold on a minute please. It's for you," she told Elaine.

"Who is it?"

"I don't know. It wasn't a voice I recognized. Let me see." Madeline returned to the phone. "I'm sorry, I didn't catch a name earlier. Who may I say is calling? Thank you. Hold just one more minute.

"It's somebody named Colin Fong," she told Elaine.

"I don't know a Colin Fong."

"What do you want me to tell him?"

Elaine hesitated. "Tell him . . . oh, never mind. I'll take the call."

Madeline shrugged. "Okay." And handed the phone to Elaine.

"Hi, this is Elaine."

Madeline listened with interest as she heard her friend ask, "You're calling because of what?" And she tried not to fall over when she leaned in too far to overhear Elaine say, "I'm sorry to have wasted your time. You've been misinformed. I'm not interested. Yes, I'm sorry too. Best of luck to you."

"What was that all about?" Madeline asked when Elaine hung up the phone.

Elaine growled in answer and went back to packing her box. "Did you finish the invoice for this box?"

"That's your pale blue tea set with the cherry blossom design?"

"Yup."

"Oh yeah, sure. Hold on. I have it here somewhere. I finished it this morning." Madeline rifled through the stack of paper she'd been working on, and pulled it out from the bottom of her pile. "Aha! Here you go."

"Thank you." After Elaine placed the invoice in the box, on top of all the bubble wrap, she folded down the flaps of the cardboard box and asked, "Help me tape this up?"

"Sure. Are you going to hold the box down, or shall I?"

"I think I've got it. Why don't you grab the tape?"

"Watch your fingers."

They worked like a well-oiled machine, having boxed many a packages together through their years at the store. In a matter of minutes, they were done. "There, that's one more package done," Elaine said, peeling the address label from its backing and rubbing it onto the top of the box with the palm of her hand. "What's the next order?"

Madeline consulted her stack of invoices. "There's the ceramic vessel with the brownish red glaze that I made. We sold it yesterday. It's going to a Mr. & Mrs. Bennet in Amarillo, Texas."

"I don't remember them."

Madeline studied the invoice, and said, "It was Lydia who made the sale."

"Oh. Cool. We got anymore boxes for this size?" Elaine asked, crouching underneath the checkout counter to look there.

"Not unless there are more in the back. I used the last one under there this morning when I sold your Chinese dragon sculpture."

"Shoot. We don't have anymore in the back either. Mariah mentioned it to me earlier this week. I was going to drop by the store yesterday after work and get more, but I forgot."

"You know, Elaine, you've been doing that a lot this past week."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on. What about forgetting to stop by the bank and deposit the money Tuesday evening, or mixing up the clay and paint orders on Wednesday, and then forgetting to pick up more boxes last night?"

"They're harmless errors, and I sorted out the clay and paint orders as soon as I noticed it. It's all fixed now."

"I know. And I'm not criticizing you, Elaine. We all make mistakes from time to time, but what I am saying is that this is very unlike you. It's not your style to be as forgetful as you've been lately. A mix-up here and there, sure it happens. But you've made several this past week. I've also noticed that you've been unusually quiet this past week. You haven't been paying attention to the customers, their sales. That's not like you either. Are you sure there's nothing troubling you?"

Elaine fiddled with the roll of packaging tape, twirled it around her wrist. "I suppose I have had a lot on my mind," she conceded.

"Want to talk about it?" Madeline bumped her hip against her friend's. "You know you can."

Elaine smiled half-heartedly. "I know. I appreciate it."

"Well?"

Elaine groaned, stretched the upper half of her body across the counter, and slunk her forehead down on the granite countertop. If she could've buried her head in the ground like an ostrich, she would've headed for the nearest sandbox.

"That good, huh?"

"I don't even know where to begin," Elaine moaned.

"Just pick a place then."

"All right. Want to know who Colin Fong is and why he was calling me? He's some random Chinese guy that the matchmaker sent my way."

"I'm sorry," Madeline interrupted. "Did you just say matchmaker?"

"I did. And he's not the first person whom the matchmaker has sent my way. Nor is he likely to be the last. Unfortunately. I've gotten several calls at home and another two or three have called here as well, just not when you were around."

"What are you doing consulting a matchmaker, Elaine? You always said you'd never go to one, and not to mention you have Will now. How does he feel about all this? Or does he not know about it?"

"I didn't seek the matchmaker out. She sought me. Or rather, my mother sought the matchmaker's services and now they're both on the warpath that heads straight in my direction."

"Oh brother."

"You're telling me. Remember that lunch date I had with my mother last week? Turns out the reason for the invite was that my mother wanted to introduce me to a matchmaker, who proceeded to observe me, discuss my finer attributes with my mother (as if I wasn't even present at the table), and take notes. Then she said she'd get back to us, as if she was doing us some huge favor. It was the most miserable lunch of my life, Madeline. Not to mention, I kept telling my mother that I didn't need a matchmaker. Specifically, I kept telling her that I was dating Will.

"Actually, I've been telling her that I'm dating Will, and I swear each time it's like she clears the slate and I'm telling her anew. The annoying part though is that it's not like she's forgetting. My mother has the memory of an elephant. She doesn't forget anything she doesn't want to forget. What she's doing is, she's purposefully obliterating the fact that I'm dating Will from her brain, like if she doesn't acknowledge it, it will go away."

"The master of denial."

"You've no idea. So she drags me to this tortuous lunch and makes me sit through a physical examination that makes me feel no better than a horse. I'm surprised she didn't make me open my mouth so they could count and examine all my teeth. As it was, at one point, she did try to get me to stand and show off my birthing hips like I'm some Babe-o-matic Machine, Model 2000."

"What?"

"I know! Pretty incredible, right?"

"Incredible, but not in a good way."

"No," Elaine agreed.

"So then what?"

Elaine sighed. "So then I went to see Will that evening because I was just so upset and needed comforting. He gave me the comfort."

"But?"

"We then got into an argument about how I need to stand up to my mother more."

"Well . . ." Madeline started to say.

"Please don't you start with me too," Elaine said.

"You know how I feel about the matter."

"I do. And my answers and explanations are still the same." Having been friends since college, Elaine and Madeline had engaged in many similar arguments whenever Elaine's mother had done something to upset her daughter, and Elaine had complained. Without fail, Madeline would always tell her to fight for herself, and Elaine would respond by telling her friend that things weren't always so easy. Fighting against an Asian mother was like waging a war campaign against General MacArthur. You were usually sunk even before it began.

She'd been having the same argument with Will all week long. Their first argument had been the worst. After she'd cried her tears, and told him about the lunch date, he'd asked her, "Elaine, why didn't you just get up and leave? You shouldn't have to take that sort of insulting treatment from your own mother."

"I couldn't get up and leave."

"Why not?"

"Because . . . because it'd be like a slap in my mother's face and I can't do that."

"So you're going to let her slap yours?"

"I wasn't letting her insult me, Will."

"It doesn't sound like you were doing anything to stop her either."

"What would've been the point?" Elaine wondered aloud. "I know my mother. Even if I had tried to get her to send the matchmaker away, told her to stop trying to set me up with people, tried to pound it into her head that I'm dating you, what would that have actually achieved except the two of us engaging in a very public battle? It's not like she'd have actually sent the matchmaker along. She's never going to stop trying to find other prospects for me, just because I tell her to stop. My mother has a mind of her own, Will, and I know how it works. She's relentless.

"Not to mention, having an argument with my mother is truly a lost cause anyway. You try to reason with her and it just doesn't work. Nothing ever gets resolved. The only thing we end up doing is try to talk over one another. She's raised her voice, I'm raising my voice to talk over her, our voices continue to escalate, and the next thing I know, I'm being told to stop talking back to her. And that inevitably starts another battle between us, which is completely separate from the original issue, because then I have to start defending myself about how I'm not trying to disrespect her or talk back to her, I'm just trying to get her to listen, and then she proceeds to remind me that just because I'm in my mid-twenties doesn't mean I'm not still her child and that no child should be so disrespectful of her parents, so she's not going to stand for it."

"Um."

"I know! Any argument with my mother turns into a ball of unrelated, irrational arguments. No matter how the argument starts, it always comes down to the fact that I'm disagreeing with my parents and she can't handle it. And she always holds the trump card because she tells me I'm being a bad daughter by raising my voice at her, talking back, and being disrespectful. That's why it's so maddening and so frustrating. And that's why, sometimes, it just doesn't seem worth it to argue with my mother. Why bother when I know how it'll turn out? Instead, I try and pick my battles, and only fight the ones worth fighting."

"So, are you saying that we're not worth fighting for?" William was growing more and more disturbed as he listened to Elaine speak. These were unfamiliar waters for him, and he found himself struggling to understand. For the first time, the parents of one of his girlfriends disapproved of him, and not because of anything he'd done but by virtue of being who he was. It was practically unthinkable to Will, he who was accustomed to girls and their mothers fawning over him because of his family name.

Worse, it was beginning to feel as if he and Elaine had lost the battle before he'd even had a chance to meet her parents. It didn't help that Elaine seemed so reticent and unwilling to go against her parents.

"Of course that's not what I'm saying," Elaine protested. "Did I ever say that I was giving up on us? I'm still here, with you, aren't I?"

"But you're going to let your mom continue to set you up on blind dates."

"I didn't say I was going to go on them," Elaine grumbled.

"No, but you're going to complain about it every time she does anyway."

"Probably," Elaine admitted.

"So why not put a stop to it from the beginning and thus avoid all the later headache?"

"Because it won't work. Isn't that what I've been trying to tell you for the past hour?" William's frontal lobes felt like they were about to explode. "My mother's going to do her own thing, Will, I can't stop her from that. But that doesn't mean that we have to do what she says. We can still be together. I want to be with you." She wrapped her arms around his waist to prove it.

William laid his head heavily over hers, and sighed. "Well, pardon me for saying so, but your mother sounds like a real witch."

Now Elaine felt bad. She didn't want Will to think that her mom was some evil person, especially not when they'd never even met and he hadn't had an opportunity to form his own impression of her mother. Elaine wasn't so naïve to think that her mother was without any faults; she knew full well that her mother had many faults. She was opinionated, set in her ways, and often close-minded. But her mother also had good qualities.

"She's not a witch, Will," Elaine said, frowning. "Annoying and supremely aggravating at times, yes, but a witch? That's a bit harsh, I think. My mother's a good person."

"I don't get it," Will said, standing and retreating to the kitchen where he poured himself a glass of orange juice before returning to the living room. "All you ever tell me is how your mother picks on you, criticizes you, antagonizes you, and doesn't respect your life choices. Yet, you seem to accept it and what's more, you actually try and live up to her expectations. Which would be fine except that her expectations are different from what you want for yourself. It's like she has some hold over you."

"It's difficult to explain. I don't know if I can provide a sufficient answer though when sometimes, even I don't understand it. She's my mother though, so of course I want to please her. I love her and I want her to be proud of me. Is that so wrong?"

"It is when it's at the cost of your own happiness."

Elaine wasn't sure she could agree. "I know I complain about my mother a lot. And I know that she criticizes me a lot, and thinks that she knows what's best for me. And it's because of all that that I do get so annoyed. So annoyed that I rant about it quite a bit. But, I can't lose sight of the fact that whatever her faults, she loves her children deeply. She loves me.

"When she's being her most critical, when she's being her pushiest and most demanding, it's because she wants the best for me. In her mind, she thinks she's doing me a favor by telling me bluntly exactly what she thinks without the sugarcoated words. And as my parent, of course she thinks that her way is the best, because what parent would want anything but the best for his or her child? So, does she know that she often says some hurtful things to me? Absolutely. But she thinks it's for my own good."

"That is so twisted and bizarre."

"I don't know that it is," Elaine mused. "Not when you take into consideration cultural differences. Tact and subtlety aren't words we really understand, and we're also not in the habit of telling each other, 'I love you,' or other similar types of sentiments. It's just not done in the Asian culture, I think. Instead, we show our love through actions. And, for my mother, this is her way of showing that she loves me. For example, she's always going to tell me to dress warmly and drive carefully, not because she thinks I'm incompetent, but because she sees it as her motherly duty to be continuously looking out for me. And she's always going to challenge my life choices to make sure that I'm demanding the best of myself and for myself."

"And if your life choices conflict with what she thinks ought to be your life choices, what happens then?"

Elaine smiled wryly. "Well, I guess we'll have to see how our situation plays out, and whether she ever learns to accept you."

"Great."

"I never said any of this would make sense. I know it's difficult to understand and accept. Like I said, even I have problems with that."

Will looked bewildered. A random bludgeon to the temple would've been less perplexing. "You're right. I mean, I hear what you're saying. But it still doesn't make any sense to me. It's beyond comprehensible."

"You just need to meet my mother."

"Okay, you name the date and tell me when, and I'll make sure to be there."

Elaine answered without even thinking. "Next Friday. It's Jane's and my week to go to dinner at our parents' house. You can come with us then and meet my parents."

"All right," Will agreed. "I'll be there."

"Whoa," Madeline spoke up. "Will's going to dinner at your parents' house tonight? Wow. No wonder you've been a bundle of nerves all week!"

Elaine's head remained slumped on the checkout counter. "I only wish that were the half of it."

Madeline placed a comforting hand on her friend's back. "Surely it won't be that bad?"

Elaine rolled her head to the side so that she could see her friend. "Do you know how many black marks there already are working against Will? I feel like I'm sending him into a firing squad."

"You did warn him what he was up against when you started dating."

Elaine squeezed her eyes shut and groaned pathetically. "I've handled this all so badly."

Chapter 14

Posted on Thursday, 16 June 2005

The seatbelt sat tightly along her lap and across her chest. Elaine picked at it, pulling it away from her body, trying to give herself more breathing room. "Deep, calming breaths," she chanted softly to herself. "Breathe in, breathe out. Deep, calming breaths."

"Are you okay?" Jane asked from the driver's seat. She looked over at her sister in concern and sympathy. "Everything's going to be just fine, you know."

With her stomach feeling like it had a band of tightly wounded steel around it, Elaine wasn't sure she shared her sister's optimism. "I feel like I'm going to throw up."

"Be sure to roll down the windows first if you do," Jane said, hoping to lighten her sister's mood. It didn't work.

"What was I thinking?"

"They had to meet sooner or later."

"I should've made it later."

"You would only have been putting off the inevitable."

"I should've at least given her more notice."

Jane grimaced. Perhaps that was true. But she only thought that because of the way their mother had been behaving the entire week. "You did what?" Fanny had asked her youngest daughter when Elaine called home to tell her mother what she'd done.

"I invited Will to dinner on Friday. I thought it'd be okay. Charlie has dinner with us all the time, and I thought you'd want to meet Will."

"Charlie is like family," Fanny stated, immediately setting him a class apart from Will, and setting Elaine on edge. "I can't believe you, Elaine. Always so thoughtless. You never think before you act. Ever since you were a child you were always like this, so impulsive and heedless. Did you give any consideration to how I might feel? Do you know how busy a week I have ahead of me? And now you've invited your Will to dinner. I'm going to have to clean the house and cook. I don't have time to do any of that stuff with everything else I have planned for this week."

Elaine didn't think her mother's attack was particularly fair, as on a normal week her mother didn't usually have that much to do. It would be her luck to invite Will to dinner on a week that was the aberration. Not wanting to incite her mother's wrath even further, however, she simply suggested, "Well, I can cancel with Will if you'd like. We can always invite him some other week when you feel you have more time to prepare."

Fanny huffed dramatically. "No, you've already invited him so that damage has been done. I'll try to do the best I can, I suppose."

That had been Day One. On Day Two, Fanny called her eldest daughter at work to complain. "You know what your sister do, Jane-ah?"

"Um." Jane didn't have time to play guessing games. She looked at her watch. She had a conference call in fifteen minutes. "No?"

"She invite her boyfriend for Friday night."

"Oh, that. Yes?" Jane asked distractedly. At least their mother was acknowledging him as Elaine's boyfriend, she thought to herself.

"I don't know why she have to invite this wai guo ren to dinner," Fanny huffed.

Jane put down the paperweight she'd been playing with, annoyed and frustrated by her mother's behavior. She didn't have to call Will a Caucasian and say it so disparagingly, like it was a bad thing. "Ma, Elaine's invited Will to dinner because he means a lot to her, and because you and Ba mean a lot to her as well she wants the three of you to meet. You could be more open-minded about this, you know. Will's a wonderful person, a good person, and he's Charlie's best friend," Jane reminded her mother.

"Personally, I'm thrilled for Elaine," Jane added, leaving her mother in no doubt as to which corner she belonged. "You should be too. Haven't you always said that you hoped we would one day meet good men who'd treat us well, take care of us, and respect us? And that you hoped we'd one day meet someone who'd make us happy? Ma, Will is all those things - he comes from a good family, he's a doctor, treats Elaine fantastically, and most importantly, he makes her happy. They're happy together. Why can't you be happy for her?"

"He so different," Fanny said perfunctorily.

"In what way?" Jane played innocent.

"He come from totally different background. How he can understand us, hm? It better to choose someone Chinese, like you did."

Jane sighed. How would she ever make her mother understand that Charlie's most attractive feature hadn't been that he was Chinese? "Will's not incapable of learning about our culture and our traditions, Ma. He's a willing learner and, in fact, he already knows a lot about the Chinese culture since he's been friends with Charlie for so long. And what he doesn't already know he can always learn. We're not oceans apart, you know."

"What I going to cook Friday?" Fanny continued on. "I don't know what this boy eat. Maybe I cook something and he no how to eat it because he a wai guo ren. What I do then? You know how these people are, they no how to eat Chinese food. So difficult to cook for! You think he eat fish? Maybe I just cook beef and broccoli. All wai guo ren like that. They always order beef and broccoli when they go to Chinese restaurant."

Jane couldn't be more relieved when she saw her secretary waving to her in the doorway. Her fifteen minutes were up. "Ma, I have to go. I have an appointment, but I really wouldn't worry about dinner or what to cook for Will. He's not a picky eater and loves Chinese food. I can assure you that Will eats everything."

As she grabbed her legal pad and clicked over to take her call, Jane hoped her mother wouldn't take what she said as a challenge.

"Oh G-d," Elaine moaned aloud.

"Now what?" Jane asked as she braked for a red light.

"I don't want to go. Turn the car around and take me home. You can drop me off, go by yourself, and tell Ma I'm not feeling well and that I'll call her tomorrow. If we turn around now, there's still time to call Will to tell him not to go."

"Elaine! Snap out of it! Now you're just acting like a five-year-old who throws a temper tantrum on her way to school. If you act like you've already failed the test, then you have and you've let her win by default. Get some spunk in you! Fight back. You're fighting not just for yourself now, but for Will too."

Elaine managed to swallow her moans and groans for the rest of the car ride, but she couldn't help but think that Jane spoke very assuredly for one who'd never had to go through what she was going through right now. After all, she'd had parental approval from the moment she said, "Bing."

At the door of their parents' apartment, Jane watched Elaine throw her shoulders back and chin up in preparation for the night. She squeezed her sister's hand and said, "Remember, you can do this!"

"Thanks, Jie."

As was routine, Tom Bai opened the door for his daughters. "Hi, Ba!" they chorused. He waved them in and went back to reading his newspaper. Nothing ever fazed him, not even the knowledge that tonight's dinner was not going to be one of the usual Friday night dinners he had with his daughters.

By contrast, Fanny was running like a madwoman in the kitchen. "Finally!" she said upon sighting her daughters in the kitchen. Her irritation was starting to bubble through as she rattled on in Chinese, "The least you could've done, Elaine, after all the trouble I've gone through for you tonight was to show up early and help me cook."

"I had to work this afternoon, Ma," Elaine reminded her mother as she shook out her umbrella and propped it in the corner.

"It was my fault. I made us late," Jane chimed in, willing to shoulder her share of the blame. Anything to help her sister out tonight. "Elaine was already waiting for me when I got home, but I had to change and then couldn't find my shoes."

"Well, don't just stand there. Jump in and help!"

The kitchen looked like a war zone. And Fanny the commander in chief. The rice cooker was set to cook, the steamer was steaming, and Fanny was working several pots and woks on the stove at once. Somewhere, in the background, Elaine heard a timer go off and then her mother flew past.

"What do you want me to do?" Elaine asked.

Fanny stepped away from the cutting board. "You can finish chopping the scallions. Jane, I need you to finish cleaning and picking the greens."

They toiled, with Fanny interrupting Elaine only once to correct the way she was chopping the vegetables, until Elaine's cell phone rang. Behind her back, Fanny rolled her eyes. "Is that Will?" she asked Jane.

"I don't know."

Over the din of the kitchen, they heard Elaine say, "I'm sorry, I can't quite hear you. What's the matter? He's going to be what?"

"Hm, probably," Jane amended.

While Elaine finished her phone call, Fanny stepped in to finish chopping the vegetables Elaine had been working on before her call. "Well," Elaine began, returning to the kitchen. "It appears Will's going to be late."

Fanny's knife remained suspended in the air. Jane looked up from the sink where she'd been washing the last of the dishes. "How's that?"

"It's a sign of trouble when you can't count on a man," Fanny said under her breath.

Elaine stared at her mother, then answered her sister's question. "That was one of the nurses at the hospital. It turns out he had an emergency surgery this afternoon and just finished. He had the nurse call me while he cleaned up and finished up the remainder of his stuff."

"So he's on his way?"

"Soon, hopefully."

Will stood outside the apartment door feeling as nervous as he'd never felt before. Not even his medical board exams had invoked such pangs of anxiety. It didn't help that all week long Elaine had been quizzing him on things to say, how to act, telling him that tonight's dinner was going to be a test, one her mother was determined for him to fail. Nor had it helped that when he told Charlie he wished Charlie wasn't on call so that he could come and lend moral support, his friend had said it was probably better this way. "After all, if I'm there, Mrs. Bai will probably spend the entire night either comparing us or being nice to me and ignoring you. No offense man, but I'm the favored boyfriend." There could be no offense taken where only truth was spoken.

Juggling the gifts he'd brought for Elaine's parents into one arm, he compared the number on the door to the piece of paper Elaine had written out for him. This was it.

Elaine answered his knock. "At last!" she said by way of greeting him. He leaned in to give her a kiss, but Elaine ducked out of the way deftly and waved him in, not even taking his hand. He sent her a curious look, but Elaine had already moved on and didn't catch it. "Come in and meet my parents, Will. Ma, Ba, this is Will. Will, these are my parents, Mr. and Mrs. Bai. And of course you already know Jane."

Recovering himself quickly, Will held out his hands and said, "Mr. and Mrs. Bai, so nice to meet you at last. Jane, good to see you as always." Then remembering the gifts he'd brought, he offered them to Elaine's parents. "I wasn't sure what you liked, but I wanted to bring something to thank you for your kind invitation. This is for you, Mr. Bai," he said, holding out a bottle of red wine. To Fanny he offered a bronze-colored box and said, "I hope you like chocolates."

"Thank you for the gifts," Fanny said, taking both of them. She turned around and pawned them off on Jane. "Jane, your father and I no drink wine. Maybe Charlie like. And you better take the chocolates too. You skinny, so okay if you eat. Don't give to Elaine though, she get fat easy like her Ba."

Will thought about saying something in protest, especially in regards to Fanny's comment about Elaine's weight, but one quick look at Elaine's face had him reconsidering.

"Come. Eat. The food's been waiting," Fanny said.

Behind their backs, Elaine winced. Jane hung back to give her sister's hand another squeeze of encouragement. When Elaine reached the table, her mother was orchestrating where everyone would sit. "Will, you sit there, in between Elaine and her father."

Told to sit, Will sat. Elaine gave herself a mental slap in the forehead when she saw that her father hadn't yet taken his seat and her mother's mouth had pulled into a grim, flat line. Trying to defray the effect, Elaine quickly sat down as well and cued Jane to join in, leaving both parents standing.

"Well," Fanny said, knowing full well what her daughters were doing. In their home, Tom Bai had always held the seat of honor at the round dinner table and was seated before everyone else, unless someone else of a higher order had been invited to dinner. Will, while a guest in their home, was not a guest of honor. He was their daughter's suitor, and thus someone to be picked over. Not revered.

"I hope you will like everything," Fanny said to Will.

Will leaned in and actually looked over the food before saying, "I'm sure I will." Fanny tried not to be offended as she picked up her chopsticks and invited everyone else to do the same.

At the center of the table was a large platter of fish prepared by steaming it then topping it with chopped ginger and spring onion, a little bit of soy sauce, and hot sizzling oil.¹ It was, Elaine knew, her mother's piece de resistance. Taking the serving spoon, she cut into the fish's cheek, the best portion of the fish, and served the meat to her father, "Here you go, Ba," before cutting into the middle and serving some to her mother and then Will. Fanny nodded approvingly as she watched her youngest dish some fish into her bowl and then Will's.

"The food is delicious, Mrs. Bai. What's this?" Will held up a tan-colored piece of meat with his chopsticks. He wasn't sure what it was. The flavor was soy sauce based, but the texture was decidedly chewy. He'd never had anything like it before.

Fanny looked up. "That is . . . how you say in English?" she looked to her daughters.

Elaine and Jane looked frantically at one another. Finally, Jane said, "That's pig's intestines with pickled cabbages."

At any other time, it would've been amusing to witness the facial contortions his expressions underwent. Now was not one of those times. Will forced himself to swallow what was already in his mouth, then reached for his water and took several healthy gulps before he could start to breathe again.

Fanny scooped a chopstick full of Chinese leek flower and squid into her mouth, chewed, then asked, "You no like? Jane tell me you eat everything."

Next to her, Jane tried not to slide down into her chair. "No, it's great," Will forced himself to say with a smile. "I like it very much. See?" He then forced himself to eat what was left in his bowl. He reminded himself that he hadn't minded the dish, and even liked it, until he'd been told he was eating pigs' intestines.

Having learned his lesson, Will asked about the next dish first before taking any and putting it into his bowl. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to a brownish platter.

"That's sea cucumber," Fanny answered, "prepared with sliced pork and shitake mushrooms. Try." She gestured for him to eat up with her chopsticks. Sea cucumber very special and rare. It Chinese delicacy.² I make especially for you. Try some."

"It's mostly flavorless," Elaine told a wary Will. "It has a jelly-like consistency and takes it flavor from the other foods it's cooked with."

It sounded harmless enough, so Will decided to try it. He was unprepared for the unique texture of the sea cucumber though and found he had a difficult time swallowing it down. After much rolling around of the sea cucumber in his mouth, he managed to chew and swallow the gelatinous creature into his stomach.

"How was it?" Fanny asked with a gleam in her eyes.

"It was, um, quite interesting."

Elaine caught the flash of triumph her mother shot in Jane's direction and inwardly seethed. She knew exactly what her mom was up to. Although Fanny had done nothing but prepare traditional Chinese dishes, dishes Elaine herself enjoyed, she'd done so with the specific intention of trying to horrify the sensibilities of someone who might be unfamiliar with the ingredients.

"Here," Elaine said to Will. "Have some shrimp. You like shrimp, don't you?"

"I love shrimp," Will said, glad to finally be able to eat something. Fanny had purchased the large prawns with head and antennae still attached, and sautéed them in garlic and oil, but Will was not deterred. Biting into the shrimp, he ripped the head from the body and removed the shrimp's shell from the meat like a pro. Even Fanny had to admire his skills.

Once Tom Bai had half-filled himself with food, he started to inquire after Will's background. Will looked up from the roasted duck bone he'd been working on and blinked in surprise. He was sure this was the first time Elaine's father had uttered a single word. Will was beginning to think the man mute.

Wiping his hands and mouth carefully on his napkin, Will said, "I attended Stanford University for undergrad. It's a bit of a family tradition, attending Stanford. Even now, my younger sister is there. Stanford's also where I met Charlie, and then we both went to medical school at Yale."

Here, Elaine sat back. She didn't have to worry about her parents finding any objections to his schooling.

"So, you only get into Stanford because your family go there?"

Wait a minute! Where did that come from? Elaine sat back up in her chair, ready to go on the attack like a lioness protecting her cub. Will stilled her with a hand on her leg. "I'm sure it didn't hurt, but I'd like to think I got in based upon my own merits. Forgive me if I'm being immodest, but my credentials were certainly good enough to be accepted on their own. It was more my desire, as well as my sister's, to attend Stanford that was rooted within family traditions."

"Elaine say you recently returned to San Francisco from Washington D.C.," Tom said, though more of as a question.

"That's right."

"You did not like it there?"

"I liked it very much," Will corrected.

"Then why did you move back?"

"I wanted to be nearer to my family." At Will's answer, Elaine started to relax once more. Surely her mother wouldn't find anything objectionable to that answer. "When I first applied for residency programs, I didn't give much consideration to San Francisco because this is where my father also practices, and I didn't want to train in his shadow."

"You changed your mind," Tom said.

"Yes. I did," Will agreed. "My decision was based in part because I missed my family and hated having to travel to the opposite coast just to visit with them, and also in part for family reasons, mainly my father's ailing health. He got very sick last year, and I didn't like being so far away and unable to be there for my mother and sister during that difficult time. Although my father's health has greatly improved, I decided to return to San Francisco anyway."

"You don't live with them."

"No," Will laughed. "I'm glad to be back in San Francisco and back with my family, but I needed some independence."

"You are not close with your family?" Fanny interrupted.

"Ma," Elaine said, "If Will weren't close with his family then he wouldn't have moved back to San Francisco to be near them."

"But he doesn't live with them. In Chinese tradition, the parents always live with their adult son."

"Charlie doesn't live with his parents."

"I think my parents like having their independence as well," Will intervened diplomatically.

"How your parents feel about you date Chinese girl?" Fanny asked.

"Um." William shrugged. "I think they're fine with it."

"You don't know? You don't talk to your parents?" Fanny pressed.

"My parents and I talk frequently," Will said, and hoped his answer hadn't sounded on edge.

"But you don't know what they think? That is unacceptable. In Chinese family, parent and child always communicate. I always know what my girls thinking." Jane and Elaine cast guilty and amused looks at each other before looking down at their plates and engrossing themselves in eating.

"Elaine being Chinese is not something I've discussed in great detail with my parents," Will conceded. "But that's because I haven't placed a great deal of emphasis on it either." Elaine's parents didn't look like they understood, so Will explained, "I don't really think of Elaine in terms of being Chinese per se. I see her as an individual and she as an individual is the person I'm interested in and care about."

Fanny gasped. "But heritage very important too! You cannot ignore that she Chinese!"

"Of course not," Will said, trying to backpedal as fast as he could. "And I didn't mean to imply that I don't appreciate that aspect of Elaine. What I meant, however, is that her being Chinese is not the only thing that matters to me. I like everything about her."

"Hmm."

Elaine hated that Hmm of her mother's.

At the end of the night, Elaine was more than ready to call it a day. She walked out with Jane and Will, and caught Will's hand as they walked down the stairs and her parents' door had already closed behind them. Will looked down when her hand found its way into his own, but took it wordlessly.

At the street, Will offered to give Elaine a ride home. She accepted, and told her sister, "Jie, I think I'm going to head home with Will."

"Sounds good," Jane told her, and left them still standing in the sidewalk.

By mutual assent, Will and Elaine took a walk through Chinatown before heading back to his car. "Nice night," Will observed. Elaine made a noise of agreement. "Is that where you and Jane played?" Will asked, pointing to a playground that they were walking past.

Elaine paused and swung her arms over the linked chains of the playground fence. "Yup. I grew up on those swings, the jungle gym, those slides. Jie and I spent many Sunday afternoons teetering and tottering on that seesaw too." Quietly, she continued to observe the playground she'd lived across for almost her entire life. "Everything looked so big when we were little. Climbing to the top of that jungle gym dome was like reaching the top of Mt. Everest, and only the bravest dared to try. Looks kind of dinky now," Elaine added after a while.

"I can see you now, racing the other kids to the top. And your sister at the bottom, in her pink dress, fretting for your safety."

Elaine rolled her eyes. "My mom hated whenever I did things like that. Hated that I ran around in t-shirts and shorts. She'd always say to me, 'Why don't you act like a girl? Why can't you be more like your sister?'" Elaine shrugged. "I didn't think standing around, trying to not get my dress dirty was very fun."

Will smiled at the image. He could even picture the smudges of dirt on her clothes and the cuts and bruises all up and down her legs from rough housing. "I bet you ran around with the boys."

"Absolutely," Elaine said. "There was a bunch of us kids who lived in our apartment building and we'd all play together after school or during the summers. Jie and the other girls would play 'house,' hopscotch, and skip rope. But I liked to play kickball or tag."

"I bet your mother wishes you were still 'tagging' those boys. Better them than me, huh?"

Elaine let the comment slide, not ready to address tonight's dinner just yet, and lifted her arms from the fence, placing her hands in her pocket as she started to walk away. Will caught up to her and slid his arm around her waist. "I could go for some bubble tea," he suggested. "What about you?"

Relieved that he'd taken the lead in changing the subject, Elaine eagerly embraced the idea. "Bubble tea! What a great idea. I love bubble tea."³

"Know any good places?"

She pulled back playfully and said, "What do you take me for? Of course I do. In fact, I know the perfect place. They have the best bubble tea in all of San Francisco!"

"Boastful words. I warn you, I am a most severe critic when it comes to bubble tea."

"I take up the challenge very willingly," Elaine assured him.

Several hours later, Will stood barefoot, wearing only a pair of hospital scrub pants, staring into his refrigerator. Hunger stared him in the face as he tried to decide whether to make himself an omelet or French toast. He should've gone to bed hours ago, but thoughts of the tonight's dinner had kept him awake. And left him starved. Which wasn't surprising considering how little he'd eaten at the Bai's.

Other than the duck, the fish and the shrimp, there wasn't much else he'd been able to eat. In addition to the pigs' intestines and sea cucumber, Fanny had also prepared sliced cows' tongue boiled in soy sauce and served room temperature, and a hot pot that consisted of, among other things, congealed pig's blood. Will had no doubt that the aforementioned dishes were delicious, but just the names of the ingredients were enough to make him revolt. He made a conscious effort to block the foods' images from his head as he grabbed the carton of eggs, milk, and vanilla extract. French toast it was.

With little effort, Will beat all the ingredients together and sliced the bread. Soaking the latter in the former, he then cooked it all together. It wasn't half bad, he reflected, as he bit into the end product. It was certainly more palatable than the sea cucumber he'd tried. Will shuddered, took a sip of his milk, and cut into his toast again. Before he could another bite, he dropped the fork onto his plate.

Folding his arms over the table, Will then pushed his hands through his hair and groaned. This was a lot harder than he'd expected. Elaine surprised him. He hadn't expected her to behave as she had tonight, and it disturbed him. Wasn't it she who, only a few weeks ago, had sat across the table from him in the hospital cafeteria and told him that she knew what she wanted? He'd thought she wanted him. Now, he wasn't so sure.

Elaine's reluctance to share any sort of physical proximity with him in front of her parents had caught him off guard, but he could understand it. What he couldn't understand was what had happened later, after they'd left the teahouse. They'd been enjoying themselves over bubble tea, laughing and joking, teasing each other. The atmosphere was so markedly different from just a few hours before that it was almost easy to forget where they'd been earlier that evening.

At the door of the teahouse, Elaine had flicked playfully an ice cube in Will's direction. He ducked in time, but pointed at her and said, "That's it! You're gonna get it."

Elaine squealed and yelped, and went tearing down the sidewalk in the direction of Will's car. They were both laughing when he caught up to her and started attacking her from behind. "Stop! I'm ticklish!" Elaine called out. Will was merciless and tickled on. Elaine managed to find her footing as well as her breath, and counterattacked. It was Will's turn to beg mercy.

"Elaine Bai? Is that you?" a woman spoke to her in Chinese from almost out of nowhere it seemed.

Both Elaine and Will halted in mid-tickle. Elaine looked up from her crouched position and immediately straightened. "Auntie Liu!" she gasped. "Hi. How are you?"

"I no see you in long time," Mrs. Liu said, almost half-chidingly. "Were you visiting your parents?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Mrs. Liu smiled approvingly. "Always such a good daughter. I wish Charlotte could be more like you. Who is this?"

Belatedly, Elaine remembered Will. "Oh! I'm so sorry. Auntie Liu, this is my friend William Darcy. Will, this is Mrs. Liu, a good friend of my parents'."

"A-hum," Mrs. Liu coughed meaningfully, inspecting Will from head to toe with a knowing gleam in her eyes.

Will took issue with Elaine's introduction and, casting her a perplexed look first, turned to Mrs. Liu and said, "It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Liu, but actually I'm . . ."

"Do you know," Elaine quickly cut in, "Auntie Liu is also the mother of my very good friend, Charlotte. You remember me mentioning Charlotte, don't you Will? Charlotte and I grew up together and we were practically raised as sisters, weren't we, Auntie Liu?"

"Yes, that's true."

"How is she? I haven't heard from her in a while."

"Ah, Charlotte. Always busy. She hardly even call home to talk to me!" Mrs. Liu complained. "But she have boyfriend now, so you know that always keep girl busy. I hope you no disappointed when my Charlotte start date Billy Chiu. I know you interested in him too."

"What?" Both Elaine and Will said at the same time.

"No! I," Elaine floundered, not sure what to say. She couldn't very well deny being interested in him in front of Charlotte's own mother, it'd be like putting down her daughter's boyfriend. "I'm happy for Charlotte," Elaine finally said. "I'm glad they're getting along so well."

"Very well," Mrs. Liu confirmed. "I think maybe Billy going to propose to Charlotte soon."

"Really?" was all Elaine could say. More power to her friend if that was so. "I'll have to remember to send Charlotte and email tomorrow and catch up with her."

"Yes," Mrs. Liu said. "You should. Charlotte always like hearing from friends. I sure she make time for you, even with boyfriend."

"Well, we should get going. So nice to see you again, Auntie Liu. Come on Will."

"What was that all about?" Will asked once they were sufficiently far enough from Mrs. Liu to be overheard.

"What was what all about?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Elaine."

"Oh, Billy? Don't be jealous, Will. You know all about Billy and you know I was never interested in him." Elaine shuddered. "How could I ever be interested in him? Ugh. I don't even know how Charlotte can be interested in him. But well, there you go."

Will grabbed her arm and spun her around. "That wasn't what I was talking about and you know it. You introduced me as a 'friend' and I want to know why. I thought we were in agreement that I was more than that. I thought that was the whole reason for why I came to Chinatown tonight and had dinner with your parents. I thought this was what you wanted, Elaine. Am I wrong?"

"No! It is what I want. You're what I want. It's just that . . . it's complicated."

He was really starting to hate that phrase. "What is it this time?"

"I don't think she knew we were dating. I don't think my parents have told any of their friends."

"So? You could've told them."

"I think my parents would prefer to tell their friends."

"Which is going to happen . . ."

"When they're ready."

Will thought about their reactions at dinner. "That's not going to be anytime soon."

"You never know."

"Elaine, let's face it. Your parents weren't exactly enamored by me tonight."

Elaine looked down at her feet. "I'm sorry about the dinner."

"Why? You did warn me. It's not your fault," he said, when she continued to refuse to look at him. Will kissed her on forehead. "Elaine, this is only the first speed bump. We'll get past this."

"I'm sorry about the introduction too. I was caught off guard," she admitted finally. "I didn't know what to say. Especially when we were doubled over one another in the middle of the sidewalk. This is all very new to me, Will."

"I know. It'll be okay. We'll figure it out."

Though he'd spoken confidently then, Will wasn't sure he felt the same way deep down. He hadn't expected things to be easy, but as he'd told Elaine that night when she'd confronted him in the hospital, he wasn't going to turn tail and run at the first sight of difficulty. He hadn't been raised that way. He'd always been taught to fight for the things that he wanted. He wanted Elaine. He wanted her because he loved her.

The sudden realization that he loved her came easy and free. Will poked at his French toast, surprised at how acceptable this revelation was to him. He'd always imagined that he'd feel claustrophobic or cloistered somehow when he fell in love. Or at the very least that the angels would start singing in the distance. But that wasn't how it'd happened at all.

Will shook his head, amazed at how quickly and easily he'd fallen in love. He'd done so without even realizing it. But, as he sat here tonight, he was certain of how he felt. The problem was, based upon her behavior tonight, he wasn't certain of how Elaine felt. And for that, he had to laugh at himself.

1. For a recipe of the steamed fish, see http://www.rosewave.com/Recipes/Chinese/ChineseSteamedFish.htm.

2.Hai shen, the Chinese name for sea cucumber, roughly translates into "sea ginseng." The Chinese consider sea cucumber to be a very healthful food and use it an herbal remedy for a variety of health conditions, such as high blood pressure, joint pain, and weakness.

3. Bubble tea is known by several other names, e.g., boba milk tea, pearl milk tea, black pearl tea, and tapioca tea. Originating from Taiwan, bubble tea consists of sweetened milk tea (usually, red tea with either milk and sugar or condensed milk) poured over tapioca pearls that are much bigger than the tapioca you would normally find in pudding. Nowadays, the drink is also available in many other flavors (and not just milk tea), such as fruit juices (taro, mango, lychee, pineapple, strawberry, etc.) or coffee and other tea flavors.

For more information, recipes, and pictures of bubble tea, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubble_tea & http://www.whatscookingamerica.net/BubbleTea.htm.

Chapter 15

Posted on Wednesday, 31 August 2005

The alarm went off and an arm came instinctively flying out from underneath the bedcovers, smacking the sleep button hard. Nine minutes later, Elaine rolled over in exhaustion and turned it off. She lay on her back, staring at the ceiling, and wished she could stay there for the rest of the day. Then she remembered it was Sunday and that she had the day off from the store, so she could stay in bed all day long. It was tempting.

Outside her bedroom door, she could hear Jane already up and about. She was thinking about whether breakfast was worth getting out of bed when Jane poked her head in the door. "You awake?"

"I think so."

"I thought I heard your alarm go off."

"What's that?" Elaine nodded at the plate in her sister's hand.

"This?" Jane held out a croissant. "I thought you might be hungry."

"Really? For me? Thanks." Elaine took the croissant and stared at it. "I don't know if I can eat it."

Jane took the croissant and stuffed it in her sister's mouth. "You have to eat. You didn't eat more than two bites for dinner last night." Elaine rolled her eyes and took the croissant out of her mouth. Having gotten a taste of breakfast though, she started munching on it. "See? That wasn't so hard," Jane said, pleased to see her sister eating.

"Have you talked to Ma this morning?"

Jane looked guiltily towards her lap and started to pleat a section of Elaine's bed sheet. "She called just a little while ago. I asked if she wanted me to wake you so you could talk to her, but she said she had to go play mahjong."

Elaine looked at her clock. It was only eight-thirty. She knew her mother was an avid mahjong player, but even she wasn't that dedicated of a player. The last bit of the croissant stuck in Elaine's throat as she understood that her mother still wasn't talking to her.

Jane slipped a comforting hand over hers. Elaine squeezed it appreciatively. This was always the hardest part of fighting with their mother, going up against Fanny's ultimate secret weapon: the silent treatment. It never mattered how angry you were with her, the minute she turned her back on you, you were begging her to let you back in. It had all started yesterday evening, after Elaine had returned home from work. Jane was already in the kitchen, heating up leftovers from the night before. The phone rang and it was their mother, wanting to know what they were eating for dinner. Elaine told her they were eating leftovers, to which Fanny casually responded, "There was quite a bit leftover from last night, wasn't there? I was surprised. I would've thought a man of Will's size would've had a bigger stomach. Or maybe he didn't like what I cooked. It's so hard to cook for a white person, though Jane assured me that he liked all kinds of Chinese food. But perhaps I misunderstood."

The way her mother said it - all casual and seemingly innocent like - had Elaine fuming on her feet. "Of course he didn't want to eat any of it," she retorted. "You prepared pig's blood! Intestines! Sea cucumbers! Even I didn't want to eat some of that stuff."

"You really should learn, Elaine. Those are all traditional Chinese food."

Elaine rolled her eyes. This was a long-standing argument between her and her mother, as if somehow it was the food that a person ate that made up the person and if she didn't eat them that would mean she wasn't Chinese. "All I'm saying, Ma, is that you could've been a little bit nicer."

"Are you saying I wasn't nice? You say you want him to come, so I invited him into my home, didn't I? I cooked and prepared a special dinner for him, didn't I? All Chinese delicacies! Why, I tell all my friends what I cook for your boyfriend and they all can't believe. They say why cook such fancy and expensive dishes? I do it because you ask, because you my daughter, and because I love you. I try to do what you ask of me and this is the sort of appreciation I get - complaints and disrespect."

"Ma, I'm not complaining or disrespecting you. I'm just trying to point out that - "

"You know, Elaine, I don't like the person you've become ever since you started seeing this Will."

"Excuse me?" Elaine had no idea where her mother was going now.

"You're Auntie Liu called me this afternoon, you know. She told me what she saw last night."

Elaine racked her brain trying to remember exactly what Charlotte's mother could have seen that might have provoked some sort of gossip. She couldn't figure it out. All she'd done was greet her friend's mother and introduce her to Will. What was so indecent about that?

"Groping each other in the middle of the street for everyone walking past to see? I was shocked, Elaine! I know your father and I taught you better than that. Such scandalous behavior. You lucky it was only your Auntie Liu who saw you and that she won't say anything else. She only told me because we such good friends and she thought I'd want to know what my daughter was up to. Of course I want to know, but it was also very embarrassing. Do you know how I felt on the phone this afternoon when your Auntie Liu tell me that? I hardly knew what to say. I thought surely she must be mistaken, but she say no, she actually talk to you so she know it you. Now what do you have to say for yourself?"

"Ma, Will and I weren't groping each other in the middle of the street!" Elaine practically laughed. She hadn't a clue where Mrs. Liu had gotten that, nor did she believe for a second that Mrs. Liu hadn't immediately hopped onto the phone last night and spread her gossip, erroneous as it was, across the lines. Elaine wanted to smack her own head as she realized that by now, more than half of Chinatown probably thought she and Will had done the horizontal tango right in the middle of Chinatown last night.

"You saying your Auntie Liu lying?"

"Well, no. But perhaps she misinterpreted the situation. I admit Will and I did chase each other down the street for a little bit, but we were just joking around with each other. We didn't do anything indecent. You know I would never, Ma! You have to trust me in that."

"I don't know if I can, quite frankly."

"What?"

"It's clear this Will has changed you and you've become a different person. I feel I hardly know you anymore. You never call, you never visit. It's as if all you ever live for is Will now and you don't care at all about your family."

"That is not true, Ma! I call you as much as I did before Will and I started dating. I know I forget to call you here and there sometimes, but that's because I've been so busy at work. You know summer months are always the busiest for us at the store. It's hardly because I've started dating Will, I mean Will and I hardly see each other as it is."

The conversation had deteriorated at a rapid pace after that. Towards the end, they'd descended into their usual argument of whether Elaine was "talking back" at her mother, and by the end that was no longer an issue as mother and daughter were no longer talking. It still hurt Elaine to remember the clicking sound of her mother's phone hanging up on her. There was something about the silent treatment that hurt so much more than a verbal argument.

"How'd you sleep?" Jane asked her sister.

Elaine shrugged. "About as well as could be expected." She'd cried herself to sleep and then she'd cried some more in her dreams, tossing and turning every which way. Though she'd slept for at least seven hours, it might have been only seven minutes with the way she felt.

"What are you going to do today?"

Elaine shrugged again. "Sit around?"

"And mope? I don't think so. What about Will? Is he working today?"

"Yeah, we were supposed to see each other tonight if he got off work relatively early though. I don't know if that's going to happen."

Jane hated seeing her sister so glum. It wasn't healthy. She knew that left to her own devices, her sister would remain in bed all day long and fret over her argument with their mother. Jane wasn't going to allow it. "Why don't we do something together today then?" she suggested. "We haven't hung out - just the two of us - in a long while. How does that sound?"

"Really? Don't you have some work to do?" It was rare that Jane had an entirely free day to fritter away.

"Nothing I can't do tomorrow," Jane said. "Come on, this will be fun. What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. What do you want to do."

"Whatever you want to do."

They were getting nowhere. Finally, Elaine said, "I don't care where we go, so long as it's not shopping."

Jane pouted. She'd been kind of hoping to squeeze some shopping in; she was desperate for new work clothes. But, seeing as how this was supposed to be a cheering up day for her sister, Jane acquiesced. "Fine, no shopping."

"How about . . ."

"No art galleries!"

Elaine clamped her mouth shut. Drats. She'd really wanted to see the new exhibit at the Longbourn Gallery. They always had such interesting pieces, and in the past had even featured some of Madeline's and her own artwork. This month, the gallery had on display an Asian pottery art show. Elaine had really been hoping to find some time to visit and maybe even find some inspiration or learn some new techniques. "How did you know I was about to suggest that?"

"Three reasons. One, you left Longbourn's brochure out on the kitchen counter last week. Two, you're very predictable. And three, I know you."

"Hmph." She took a peek at her sister and tried, "But it would really cheer me up if we got to go."

"Nice try, but not even for you will I be subjected to a boring afternoon of standing in front of a sculpture to debate the merits and hidden meaning of something that is shaped like a cube. Sometimes a cube is just a cube."

In the end, Jane offered to treat her sister to an afternoon of indulgence, first at a spa and then followed by refreshments at Zamy's, a favorite tea room of theirs. Excited by the prospect of a fun and relaxing afternoon, Elaine launched out of bed and into the shower.

Elaine was still in the shower when Will called. Jane answered the phone. "Will!" she said with some surprise. "I thought Elaine said you were working today."

"I was until there was a last minute change in the scheduling. Now I have the day off."

"That's wonderful," Jane breathed with relief. "I know Elaine will be really happy to hear that."

Will picked up on the added emotion in her voice and asked, "Is everything all right? Is Elaine okay?"

She hesitated only a moment before explaining, "She had an argument with our mother last night. I know my sister, it'll weigh on her mind all day long if not distracted. That's why I was going to treat her to spa and tea today, but I think it would be better if she spent it in your company."

"Were they arguing about me?" he asked cautiously.

"I'd rather leave the details to Elaine and let her decide what she's comfortable sharing. Whatever the argument, it's between her and our mother. But remember, Will, she needs you. She'll try and tell you that she's okay and she might even tell you that she'd rather not see you today. Don't take no for an answer." Her final piece of advice dispatched, Jane turned around just in time to see Elaine emerge from the bathroom, her hair still dripping wet. "Ah," she said brightly into the phone. "Here she is."

"Who is it?" Elaine mouthed.

"Will," Jane hissed back.

Elaine looked taken aback, not having expected that answer. She took the phone and said worriedly, "Will? Are you okay? Aren't you working today?"

"Not anymore. Scheduling changes. Now I have the entire day free. I was hoping to coax you out of the apartment and into my company. What say you?"

"Oh. Well. Um," Elaine said, clearly distressed.

"What's the matter?"

"I kind of already made plans," she answered haltingly.

"Oh? Nobody I'll have to beat up, I hope," he teased.

"With Jane," Elaine rushed on. "I'd invite you along but we were going to have a Sister's Day and go be pampered at a spa then have afternoon tea. Not really your thing."

"No, I guess not. There's no talking you out of it?"

"Does Will want you to spend the day with him?" Jane had sidled up to Elaine's side and asked. Elaine nodded. "You should go!" Jane urged.

Elaine put Will on hold and said to Jane, "I don't know if I'm up for it. Plus, I thought we were going out."

"Of course you're up for it. You should go," Jane repeated. "If you both have the afternoon free, you should go spend it together."

"But what about you?"

Jane shrugged. "I can always find something else to do."

"But I'd feel bad."

"Do you want to see Will? There's no point in denying that you do," she finally answered herself when she saw that Elaine wasn't willing to admit it, afraid that she might hurt her feelings. But Jane wanted her sister to understand that she wouldn't be hurt, and completely empathized with the situation. "Elaine, trust me, I understand how this dating thing works. You're both busy professionals, and you have to take your opportunities as they come! We see each other every night. If we don't hang out today, we'll hang out another day. Will's got a free day, and he wants to spend it with you. You should go. Go be with him."

"You really won't mind?"

"How many times have you stepped aside for me and Charlie?" Jane asked. "Consider this repayment for all the time you played back burner."

"Thanks, Jie."

"There's nothing to thank."

With their changed plans, Elaine told Will that she'd be able to spend the day with him after all. He told her that was great and that he'd be over to pick her up in less than an hour. Elaine hurried to her bedroom to dress and wait.

"Are you sure that you're okay with this?" Elaine asked one more time, as she headed out the door to meet Will downstairs.

"Positive."

"You could come with us."

"And be a third wheel? No thanks."

"I've gone on dates with you and Charlie!"

Jane laughed and pushed her sister out the door. "Just go! Enjoy yourself."

With her sister's blessing in hand Elaine still dawdled by the door. "What's wrong?" Jane asked.

"Do you think I should tell Will about my argument with Ma?"

Jane walked forward and took her sister's hand. It pained her to see the worry reflected on Elaine's face. "You should do whatever feels right," she told her.

"Right. Whatever's right." Elaine wished she knew what that was.

As Elaine turned, Jane caught her by the arm and added, "Don't be afraid to trust him, Elaine. If he means as much to you as I think he does, sooner or later, you're going to have to open up to him and be completely honest."

It was a frightening thought and one Elaine didn't care to ponder. She smiled a parting shot at her sister then ran downstairs and met Will in his car. "Hi," she said, greeting him with a quick kiss.

"Hi back," he said, reclaiming her mouth for a deeper kiss. It pleased him to see that he'd left her breathless. "Buckle up," he advised before pulling out of the driveway.

When Elaine had found her voice again, she asked, "So, where are we going?"

Will nodded his head towards the backseat where he had a blanket and a basket. "I thought we'd go on a picnic."

Elaine raised her eyebrow. "Really?"

"You don't like picnics?"

"I love picnics!"

"Great."

"You managed to prepare all that in under half an hour?"

"I packed most of it while I was on the phone with you," Will admitted. "Was Jane very put out by my ruining your plans?" he asked.

"Not at all, she practically pushed me out the door. No wait. Strike that. She did push me out the door."

Will chuckled. "She could've come with us."

"I invited her, but she declined. Said she didn't want to be a third wheel."

"Well, as much as I would've enjoyed Jane's company had she come, I'm glad we'll get to spend the afternoon together. We don't get that a lot do we?"

With their full schedules, it was rare that they had an entire day to be together. It often seemed like karma worked against them. When Elaine had a day off from the store, Will was often on call, and vice versa. They snatched dinner dates whenever they could match their evening schedules together, and enjoyed stolen moments whenever Will stopped by the store on his way to the VA hospital.

"So where are we going for this picnic?" Elaine asked.

"It's a surprise."

Elaine raised her eyebrow but didn't press. Nor did she object when he took her hand and steered the car with only one hand. She glanced out the window and noticed that they were headed towards the bay. "Are we going to the wharf?"

"Have patience."

Elaine grumbled. "You know that's not my strong suit."

Will smiled in answer. When the silence stretched from one minute to two, he glanced over and caught Elaine frowning with crinkles in her forehead. Taking pity on her, he said, "No, we're not picnicking on the wharf."

"Hmm . . ."

Will found a parking space for his car, then collected his belongings as well as Elaine's hand, and walked in the direction of Pier 41. The minute Elaine figured out where they were headed, she looked at him askance and asked, "You're not seriously considering having a picnic on Alcatraz, are you? Because I'm telling you right now. I don't consider an old prison the least bit romantic!"

"No!" Will laughed. "Not Alcatraz, but Angel Island."

"Oh," Elaine brightened at the thought. She didn't know why she hadn't thought of that first. "Well that's okay then."

Angel Island, the largest island in the San Francisco Bay area, was also the former home of the Miwok Indians who originally used it for their hunting and fishing grounds. The island later served an important military role in the United State's history that spanned the years between the Civil War and World War II, and also played a central role in the settlement of the West. Often billed as the "Ellis Island of the West," Angel Island had once served as both an immigration and quarantine center for many of the Russian and Chinese immigrants who passed through its doors. ¹

With ferry tickets on hand, Will and Elaine boarded the boat that would take them to the island that was now a state park where visitors could tour the old buildings still housed on the island, hike or bike its many trails, go kayaking or fishing in its streams, or hold a barbecue in one of its many picnic areas.

Once on the island, Elaine turned around and, shielding her eyes from the sun, gazed back at the mainland. "This is incredible! It's absolutely breathtaking," she said. "Why, you can see everything!" From where they stood, they had an amazing view of the San Francisco skyline as well as the Golden Gate Bridge.

"Yeah, I always like coming here," Will confided. "It's like my refuge from the real world."

Elaine looked surprisingly at him. "Really? And you're sharing it with me?"

"Yes, I am. Come on," he urged. "We've a ways to climb before we reach the picnic area, and there's a better view from up there."

Taking Will's hand, Elaine followed him up the trail. They found a bunch of other tourists already crowded around the picnic tables once they reached the picnic area. "Lucky for us, I thought to bring a blanket," Will said. Leading her away from the crowd, Will and Elaine settled themselves on the hillside where they had a perfect view of the entire Bay area.

"What'd you bring?" Elaine asked, watching Will unpack his basket.

"An assortment of goodies."

Will was true to his word. Elaine took a sip of her soda and bit into her sandwich. "This really is a perfect place for a picnic," she said, in between bites. "Thank you for bringing me here."

"Thank you for coming with me," Will said in return. He chewed his sandwich thoughtfully and studied Elaine's face. It was becoming as familiar as his own. To an ordinary person, Elaine looked happy enough. But Will could see the tension around her eyes. Jane's warning flitted through his head and he tampered down the need to know what was wrong as well as the impotent frustration he felt every time she closed a part of her self from him.

Elaine took a sip of her drink and caught Will looking at her. "What's the matter?" she asked. "Do I have something on my face?" She touched a napkin to the side of her mouth and cheeks.

He shook his head. "No. Nothing."

Elaine tilted her head to one side, and asked, "Why'd you pick this of all places to have a picnic?"

"Is there something wrong with it?" he asked lightly.

"No." She shrugged her shoulders. "I just never would've expected it of you. That's all."

"Like I said earlier, I like to think this island as my refuge. It's a part of San Francisco, but it's like a whole different part of the world out here. It's a nice and convenient place to get away. I thought you might need that today."

Elaine crumpled her napkin. "Jane said something to you."

It wasn't a question. It wasn't an accusation. It was a statement. Will saw no reason to evade it. "She mentioned that you had an argument with your mother last night, but she didn't tell me over what."

"And that's it?" It was Will's turn to look questioningly at her. "You're not going to ask me anything more?"

"I'm not going to pry it out of you." Though he said the words, she could see that he wanted to know. Yet, he was being honest as well. He wasn't going to pry information out of her because he didn't want to have to pry it out of her. He wanted her to want to tell him.

Elaine wondered if she could tell him. She turned away from the bay and stared distantly at the building that had been once the Immigration Station and was now a museum. She wondered what it must have been like to be an immigrant from China, detained on this island after having traveled aboard a cramped ship for weeks across an entire ocean, knowing you were so close to the mainland, the "Gold Mountain," but still so far away, and every day fearing deportation.² It would have been frustrating and disappointing. Scary even. It would have left a person feeling lost.

Elaine could identify with those emotions. When she looked at Will, she saw a man who was everything she'd ever wanted. He was kind and smart and generous to a fault. He made her laugh, he appreciated her, and he made her feel important and special. The more time they spent together, the less she wanted to be apart from him. Elaine recognized she was falling in love with him. In the back of her mind, she heard Jane telling her to trust Will and be open with him. She wanted to tell him about her argument with her mother, but she wasn't sure he'd really understand.

There were so many elements of the ridiculousness about their argument that they were embarrassing to talk about unless a person truly understood. So far, Will had been accepting of the fact that her mother disliked him because of his ethnicity alone. But would he understand her parents' over-protectiveness, their need to be so involved in her life, almost to the point of being watchdogs, and her own inexplicable need for their approval?

Even more troublesome was the question: would he be accepting of this behavior?

Elaine didn't have the answers. She was lost in the middle between reason and heart.

In the end, she responded to Will's unspoken question by reaching for his hand. "I'm glad you brought me here today."

He recognized a closed door when he saw one. Feeling once more resigned, he tried to be grateful for what he was given. When he dropped her off at her apartment building several hours later, he was still struggling with the warring emotions within. It was only Jane's reminder - remember, she needs you - that had him rolling down the passenger window so that he could smile at her.

Elaine crouched down and poked her head through the window. "Thanks again for the perfect picnic."

"It was my pleasure." And it had been. Will was beginning to recognize that no matter how much she frustrated him, he would never leave her. He would always be there to support her and care about her. It was his cross to bear for loving a woman who could be such an enigma.

He traced a finger down the side of her face, pleased to note that she felt less tense and weary. She smiled at him and it actually reached the depths of her eyes. Will felt better knowing that though she hadn't seen fit to confide in him, he'd at least had a hand in that much. The optimist in him told him that the rest would come soon enough.

"Good-night, Elaine."

"Good-night, Will." She leaned through the window and at the very moment that their lips touched, a car that had pulled in behind Will's impatiently honked his horn. Elaine's head jerked and bumped the roof of the car. "Ow!"

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Elaine smiled ruefully. She rubbed the back of her head. "I'll be okay. You'd better go before he turns even more psycho."

"Okay." He shifted his car into drive, and as he pulled away from the curb waved good-bye. Elaine waved back and watched him turn into traffic before going inside.

Elaine entered her apartment building feeling completely reenergized. A day in Will's company had done wonders for her. After that little bit in the early part of their picnic, Elaine had pushed her mother out of her mind for the rest of their date. As a consequence, she felt completely opposite of how she'd felt leaving the apartment building.

She unlocked her apartment door and called out to Jane, eager to tell her sister about the beautiful picnic Will had put together. "Jie? I'm home!" Silence greeted her. A note propped up on the kitchen counter let her know that Jane had gone out to dinner with some friends and wouldn't be home until later.

Home alone and too keyed up to go to do anything restful like read a book, Elaine thought she'd get some chores out of the way. She quickly changed into a t-shirt and shorts and headed for the laundry room with her bag bursting with three weeks worth of laundry in tow. By the time she'd hauled the last of her laundry back up to her apartment and started to fold and put them away, it was almost eleven o'clock.

When the phone rang, Elaine grabbed it immediately thinking it would be Will calling to say goodnight. She couldn't have been more wrong.

"Elaine-ah! Where are you right now?" It was her mother. And she sounded frantic and upset, all in Chinese. Half of Elaine was relieved to discover that her mother was no longer giving her the silent treatment while the other half of her wondered what she'd done now.

"Um. Home."

"Home!? I've been calling you all day long. Do you know how worried I've been when I couldn't find you? You haven't even been answering your cell phone."

Elaine was confused. She hadn't even heard her cell phone ring, yet when she looked at her phone she saw that she did have several missed calls from her mother. "I'm sorry, Ma. I don't know what happened but I never heard the phone ring."

"That's unacceptable, Elaine. You know you are to keep your phone on you at all times so I can reach you. How else will I know if something's happened to you? Your father and I have been so worried! We almost drove out to your apartment."

"Ma, I don't know why you were so worried."

"We've been trying to reach you since this afternoon!"

"Didn't you get in touch with Jane, and didn't she tell you where I was?"

Fanny sniffed. "All she could tell us was that you'd gone out with Will."

"Right."

"That doesn't tell us anything!"

Elaine raised her eyebrow, glad that her mother couldn't see her reaction. "That tells you that Will and I were out together."

"That doesn't mean something couldn't have gone wrong. I mean, how well do you know him anyway? What if he had hurt you? Your father and I wouldn't have even known, and the police would come to us asking if we knew where you were and what had happened to you, and we wouldn't be able to answer him. What kind of parents would we look like then?"

Elaine grew dizzy just trying to find the logic in that argument. "I'm going to overlook the fact that you've just insulted my boyfriend by suggesting that he's a psychopathic killer, not to mention the fact that you've insulted me by not trusting my judgment, and instead reassure you that you have nothing to worry about."

"I don't think you should be so confident. It's always the overly confident ones that get in trouble."

"What trouble?" Elaine wanted to ask, but her mother had already moved on. "But where were you all day long, Elaine? We've been calling you all day long!"

Elaine refused to account for her every second of the day. "I told you, Will and I went out. We spent the day together. I don't understand what the big deal is. It's not as if I haven't gone out with friends in the past and not talked to you once the entire day. Why do you suddenly care so much what I'm doing? I don't see you going after Jane the way you're going after me. I mean, it's eleven o'clock on a Saturday night and I'm the one home, doing laundry, while she's out with her friends. Don't you worry about her safety and what she's doing?"

"We're not talking about your sister right now, Elaine, we're discussing you. And I don't appreciate your tone right now. Are you talking back to me? Do you think that just because you're an 'adult' now that you can disrespect me?" Oh no, Elaine thought. Here they went again. "Because I will remind you, Elaine, that I am still your mother. You will listen to me and what I have to say."

"But Ma, you're being ridiculous."

"Ridiculous? You think I'm being ridiculous?"

"As a matter of fact, yes, I do. All I did was spend a harmless day with my boyfriend. We went on a picnic. Yes, a daylong picnic. Is that such a crime? So I didn't get your calls. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I made you worry. But I'm not going to sit here and from now on call you every minute of the day just to let you know what I'm doing, where I'm going, and who I'm going to be with. Do you know how ridiculous I'd look if I had to do that? Be reasonable, Ma."

"Well," Fanny huffed. "Forgive me for trying to be a caring and concerned mother. Is it so wrong that I want to know what my daughter's up to? Imagine how I'd feel if something did happen to you. I'd always regret not keeping a closer eye on you. But it'd be too late for regrets because you'd already be dead!"

Dead? Elaine tried not to laugh. Somehow she'd gone from not answering her mother's calls, to suffering at the hands of an allegedly abusive boyfriend, to being dead. Where was her mother getting this stuff?

"Ma, I think you're being a little melodramatic here."

"I think you could be a little bit more understanding about my position here."

"I understand perfectly what you're saying, Ma, and I'm telling you - I think you've headed towards left field, exited the orbit, and are dangling somewhere in space right now. Are you for real?"

"Don't you take that sarcastic tone with me, Elaine. I'm your mother!"

"What do you expect from me, Ma? You're coming up with wild ideas and making implausible demands on me. You're restricting my independence and my ability to be myself. How else would you like me to react?"

"Oh, so now you want your independence? I see how it is. You no longer want to be my daughter. Well that's just fine. I spend twenty-five years loving you, caring for you, trying to raise you to be a good person, and this is the thanks I get."

Elaine gritted her teeth, and told herself to stand strong and not to give in to her mother's guilt trip. "That's not what I said, Ma. I said I wanted to be independent. To be an adult. My own person. I didn't say I wanted to cast you aside."

"You might as well have. Don't think that just because you're an adult you're somehow bigger than me. I'll always be your mother. One day, when you have children of your own, you'll see how it is." With those senseless and parting words, Fanny hung up on her daughter.

Elaine stared at the telephone for a minute, completely dazed, before returning it to its cradle. This, she mused, was something she could never tell Will.

Footnotes:

1.To learn more about Angel Island, its history, and current state, see http://www.angelisland.org/

2. The Exclusion Act of 1882 was just the prelude to the series of laws that would ensue in the following years to prevent Asian immigration, especially the Chinese. It was not until World War II when China allied with the United States that immigration policies aimed towards the Chinese softened, but even then only a limited number of immigrants were allowed each year. The 1960s saw a revision of the United State's immigration policy and it was only at that time that the Chinese were given equal standing with other nations.

For more information and to read more about the experiences of Chinese immigrants, see http://www.angelisland.org/immigr02.html & http://www.sfcvb.org/travel_media/press.asp?rid=46&cid=5