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Chapter 19

Posted on Tuesday, 10 April 2007

“Are you still playing with that piece of paper?” Madeline asked as she walked past, her arms full with a heavy urn.

Elaine quickly straightened, shoved the piece of paper in her pocket, and shuffled around the pile of receipts in her hand, pretending that she’d been hard at work organizing them. “Hm? What? What are you talking about?”

Madeline carefully set the urn down and wiped the palms of her hands against her pants. “The piece of paper that you’ve been turning over and over again in the past week.”

“There’s no paper,” Elaine laughed. “Other than these sales receipts, of course.” She rattled them in front of her friend’s face for good measure.

“You are the worst liar there ever was, Elaine Bai. Why don’t you call him already?”

“Call who?! I’m not calling anyone.”

Madeline rolled her eyes. Who did Elaine think she was kidding? She walked over and fished the paper out of her friend’s jean pockets.

“Hey!”

“Just call him already.” She picked up the cordless phone, dialed the first number on the tiny piece of paper, and tossed the phone to Elaine. “See how easy that was?”

Elaine caught the phone like it was a slippery fish and scrambled to disconnect the call before anyone could answer. “What are you doing?” she hissed.

Madeline shrugged. “I thought it’d be better to be proactive than to sit there mooning about it for over a week.”

“I haven’t been ‘mooning’ over anything!”

“Then why does this look so worn?” Madeline waved the paper in Elaine’s face; it did look a bit on the tattered and wrinkled side.

Elaine grabbed at it, tried to pull it from Madeline’s grasp, and the paper tore. A gurgle of annoyance sounded in the back of her throat. “Now look what you made me do.” Brushing her friend aside, she laid the two halves on the countertop and treated it on both sides with tape. The numbers were no longer whole, but they were still recognizable and that was all that mattered.

“I wish you’d take things more seriously, sometimes.”

Feeling a tad remorseful, Madeline tucked her hands in her pockets and leaned her back against the counter. “I’m sorry, Elaine. I was only trying to help you move on with your life.”

“It’s only been two weeks,” Elaine said lowly.

“I know.” Madeline turned around and placed an understanding hand on her friend’s back. “But you were the one who ended things, Elaine. You said you wanted to find someone who would be a better fit for your life. You have an opportunity to discover if George could be that person.”

“I didn’t break up with Will because of George.”

“No, of course not. But you have to take your chances as they cross your path. I guess, what I’m trying to say is, I don’t want you to wait so long that by the time you find the courage to call George he’s already found someone else.”

“I thought you liked Will,” Elaine said petulantly.

“I do like him, what little I know of him.”

“Then why do you keep pushing me towards George?”

Madeline tilted her head questioningly. “Because I thought that’s what you wanted.”

Elaine sighed. “I don’t know what I want.” She slipped the paper with George’s phone numbers back into the safety of her pocket and slunk into the backroom. Madeline scanned the store to make sure all was well before following her.

“I keep wondering what if I made a mistake,” Elaine admitted, the minute she heard Madeline enter the backroom.

“You took a big step. Right or wrong, you have to live with those consequences. But you know what?” Madeline took a seat across from Elaine, plucked the ball of clay her friend had started to roll around nervously out of her hand, set it aside, and took Elaine’s hands into her own. “For what it’s worth, I think what you did took courage and strength. I can’t tell you whether it was a mistake, but I know you did what you felt in your heart you needed to do. To me, that makes it right.

How had everything gone so horribly wrong? The question crossed Will’s mind for the millionth time in a span of only fourteen days. Shaking his head in frustration, both at himself and at the situation, he waited for the doors to slide open before entering the crowded elevator. He found a spot along the wall and claimed it as his own by propping his back against it. On a weary sigh, he crossed his arms, closed his eyes, and let his head droop. He wished he could stop thinking about his break-up with Elaine, quit replaying scenes from the actual event in his head, but it was always there. Again and again.

The elevator dinged, some people shuffled out, and new ones joined the fray. Will felt someone come stand beside him.

“Long morning?”

Will pried an eye open and grimaced at the sight of Charlie’s smiling, cheerful face. “I guess you could call it that. I’ve been on since four.”

“Oof.” Charlie made the appropriate, sympathetic noises. “And I thought I had it bad, coming in at five.”

The elevator dinged again and both men pushed their way out. “Where you headed?” Charlie asked. Will held up a specimen bag. “Since when does the high and mighty surgical resident make his own lab runs?”

“What about yourself?” Will asked, pointing to the plastic bag in Charlie’s own hand.

“Oh, I’m the affable pediatric resident always willing to help out in a pinch when needed.”

Will snorted in answer as he led the way to the lab where they filled out the requisite forms and left their specimens behind. “You know, it’s sad when you actually offer to make a lab run just to get a break from the floor,” Will observed.

“I hear that,” Charlie agreed. They were halfway back to the elevator and had just passed a stairwell when Charlie stopped and asked on a whim, “Hey, do you have to back right away? How about a coffee break? I’ll buy.”

Will consulted his watch for only a second before deciding he was due for a break. Goodness only knew he’d need a jolt of caffeine is he was expected to keep on going for another six hours.

“Sure, why not?” He followed Charlie to the first floor where there was a snack room with a working coffee machine. Carrying their steaming cups carefully, they exited a pair of sliding doors and headed towards the hospital courtyard to stretch their legs.

Being mid-morning, it was a fairly busy spot. Some of the more ambulant patients had come down for fresh air; a good number of them were being pushed in wheelchairs by their relatives. Charlie and Will nodded their heads at some of the nurses who’d stolen outside for a quick break and gossip session, and they quickly bypassed a clump of physicians that they knew, not wanting to be dragged into a conversation with them. By tacit agreement, they headed for a more deserted corner of the courtyard.

“Ah,” Charlie exhaled, as they settled onto a park bench. “Feels good to sit down.”

“Feels good to not move.”

Charlie chuckled. “You been pulling the early shift all week?”

“And last too.”

“No wonder I haven’t seen you around lately, if you’ve been working these insane hours. You trying to put the rest of us to shame, turning into a work horse?”

“Not like I have anything else to do,” Will groused.

Charlie winced. “I heard about you and Elaine from Jane,” he said carefully.

Will sighed his acknowledgment. “I figured you would have.”

“I tried calling you, but . . .”

“I appreciate the thought, really I do, but I haven’t exactly been in the mood for company or conversation.” And especially not with someone as intimately connected with the Bai sisters as his best friend was.

“I’m sorry Will.”

He shrugged. Took a sip of his coffee. Let silence reign.

Charlie watched him surreptitiously, from behind his own cup, as he took a drink. He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say. If he was supposed to say anything. There wasn’t anything he felt he could say. But he couldn’t not say anything either. He was searching for the right words when Will broke the stillness and said, “You know what really gets me the most?”

“What?”

“The way she just took everything in her own hand, made all the decisions, without once clueing me in. Was I ever going to get a say in the matter?

“She didn’t even give me a chance! It was so obvious when she said she wanted to ‘talk’ that it wasn’t going to be an open discussion; which, by the way, isn’t that the definition of the word, ‘talk’? No, instead, she’d already figured out how things were going to be and told me we were breaking up. Just like that. We didn’t have a ‘talk,’ we had a courtroom session where only two parties presided, and it wasn’t the plaintiff or the defendant. It was the judge and the clueless, and as the judge she handed down her judgment, a judgment she’d already pre-decided, and then dismissed me as if I was some idiot, some fool.”

“You’re not an idiot or a fool.”

“Really? That’s good to know because I certainly feel like one. I mean, tell me, Charlie. Did I miss some sign? Were we just operating on two different levels, or what? Because one minute I’m thinking everything is perfectly fine. No better than fine, things were great! And then the next minute, she’s telling me that it’s never going to work and that we’re over. Over! I still can’t believe it.”

Will took his now empty coffee cup and crushed it in his fist, which he then rested against his temple. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Charlie had never seen his friend this helpless before. This hurt. He cringed with inadequacy, and wished he had some words of comfort or wisdom to impart. But he had none.

He was also torn. On the one hand, he understood where his friend was coming from. To lose someone you loved; well, he didn’t want to think about what kind of state he’d be in if Jane ended their relationship. On the other hand, he had the benefit of understanding where Elaine was coming from as well.

“Maybe taking a break wasn’t such a bad idea.”

The eyes that flashed towards him, so quickly and so cuttingly, had Charlie jerking backwards and spluttering to explain, not to mention struggling to regain a foothold in his friendship with Will. “What I meant to say is, maybe taking a step back from the relationship is a good way for you both to regain perspective.”

“Regain what perspective?” Will tossed back caustically. “Besides, it doesn’t really matter. Elaine was very emphatic in her decision. She didn’t want a break. She wanted out.”

Charlie looked at his friend anew and saw that he’d moved on from vulnerability to outright sulking. This he knew how to handle. Trying not to roll his eyes, he put his hand on Will’s back and said, “Man, listen to yourself. You’re pouting like a baby!” When Will tried giving him another death glare, one that accused him of being a traitor, Charlie would not be deterred. He had, after all, spent the many of the last fourteen days in Elaine’s depressed company. Contrary to the impression Will was giving, breaking up with him was not a decision she’d made lightly or willy-nilly.

“Look, I’m not saying you don’t have a right to feel hurt or lost or blindsided. But give Elaine some credit as well. I mean, if you really love her as you claim to do, you’d put yourself in her shoes and see this hasn’t been easy for her either. It’s not like she’s out there running barefoot through spring meadows right now. She’s hurting and grieving too. It’s not like she wanted to break up with you.”

“So she kept saying, and now you,” Will admitted glumly.

“Then maybe you should try listening to us. Her. Put yourself in her place. That’s what I meant by stepping back and regaining perspective. Try seeing things through her eyes. You keep saying that you thought things were great. Well, obviously, they weren’t for Elaine. Take some time to figure out why that might be.”

“I would! If I knew where to begin.”

Charlie sighed. This was going to be harder than he’d anticipated. “When you look at your relationship with Elaine, what do you see? You see two people with common interests, a dose of healthy attraction, and a good time.”

“That’s putting it into very basic terms, but sure.”

“When Elaine looks at your relationship, she sees all that and more. There are also obstacles, hurdles, and differences. You were operating as if your relationship was firmly grounded in utopia and, I hate to break it to you, Will, but it wasn’t. You come from two diametric backgrounds. In more ways than one! You may be fine with that, but Elaine’s not. It makes her uncomfortable.”

“I don’t see why it should. I’ve never made an issue out of it.”

Charlie wanted to clobber his friend. “You grew up in mansion in Nob Hill, you spent your summers boating and refining your backhand on the tennis courts, and your family socializes with the country club set. Enter Elaine. She grew up in a two-bedroom apartment in Chinatown, spent her summers dodging tourist traffic on the sidewalks and waitressing at an ice cream parlor, and her family socializes with the mahjong set.”

“Saying I grew up in a mansion’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?”

“You know what I’m trying to say, Will. And to this you must add something more substantial. The fact that she’s Chinese and you’re not. That adds a whole layer of other differences. Let’s face it, Will, you’re duck pâté carefully arranged on a French Limoges plate and she’s the roast duck you see hanging in the windows of Chinese restaurants.” At Will’s stare, Charlie waved his friend off. “I know, I know, not exactly the best analogy, but it drives home the point I’m trying to make.”

“I don’t understand; what is the big deal about Elaine being Chinese? You’re Chinese. That hasn’t stopped us from being friends, has it? Hasn’t caused any troubles. So why should it be this huge impasse that everyone keeps making a big deal out of just because I happen to be dating a girl who happens to be Chinese?”

It was Charlie’s turn to stare at his friend. “You’re kidding right? You’re not seriously going to equate friendship with a romantic relationship.”

“Well I just don’t see why it should be such a problem. I mean we do live in the twenty-first century, don’t we? Aren’t we all supposed to be about diversity?”

“In an ideal world, sure, but it doesn’t always work that easily. Do you really think everyone in your parents’ circle is going to be okay with you marrying someone who’s not white? That they’re not going to look askance every time you bring her to a country club event?”

“You make us out to be such elitist snobs, Charlie.”

“Not everyone, no, but there will be some. Even you can’t deny that.”

“So I’m supposed to forego personal happiness just because of some small-minded people in my family’s social set?”

Charlie sighed. “No, but you could be a little bit more understanding when you do run into instances of racial prejudice instead of being so cavalier about everything. I mean, you may be fine with it but Elaine’s not and instead of simply brushing off her concerns and wanting to barrel through everything with your, ‘It’ll all turn out perfectly fine,’ attitude, maybe you should actually take the time to talk about it the issue with her. Work through it. After all, you’re not the one that has to also suffer from parental objections.”

“I’m not trying to be ‘cavalier’ about her concerns and I’m well aware of her parents’ objections,” Will answered defensively. “I know they don’t like the fact that I’m not Chinese, but we’ve known that from the beginning. If it wasn’t enough of a problem to stop us from starting a relationship, why should it be the catalyst that ends a relationship?”

“Well, sure, when it was just one family it wasn’t as big a deal, but when it became more than that?”

“What are you talking about? My family? My parents don’t have any objections. In fact, they walked away from that first meeting with a great impression and were hoping to get to know Elaine better. Wait. You don’t mean my grandmother, do you?”

Charlie shrugged. “I don’t know. I just know from Jane that Elaine came back from the picnic upset and unsure. As if she didn’t know what you were supposed to do if everyone was so against you guys.”

Will thought for a second. It had to have been his grandmother. She was the only person he knew with enough gall to say something to Elaine. And it made sense. In his mind, he pictured Elaine talking to someone in the distance when he returned from the rest room. Elaine had never said anything to him about it, and he’d never thought to ask her about it, automatically assuming it’d been some curious acquaintance of his. But what if it’d been his grandmother, and she’d been warning off Elaine?

“I bet it was my grandmother. She’s just snobbish enough to care about this sort of thing, and I did think it funny that she cut her trip to Greece short this summer. She said it was because she felt weak mid-way through, or some other sort of crap like that, and wanted to come home, but let’s be honest. My grandmother has the constitution of a horse and nothing ever gets that woman down.

“Damn!” His anger propelled him to his feet and he started to pace. “The more I think about it, I just know it was her. It’s gotta be. You don’t know what it was that she could’ve said to Elaine, do you?” he asked Charlie.

Charlie shook his head. He couldn’t even positively identify Will’s grandmother as the point-person of his problems. But, either way, even if Will’s grandmother had said something to Elaine, he wasn’t convinced that she was their only problem. “I don’t think –”

“I wonder why Elaine didn’t say anything,” Will carried on. “I hope Elaine doesn’t really think my family actually cares what my grandmother thinks. Nobody ever pays attention to her ‘edicts.’ We’re pretty used to her handing at least one down every week by now. We just let her blow her hot air and then we go our merry ways.”

“That may be,” Charlie agreed. “But I really –”

“Oh man, I have got to talk to Elaine and get things straightened out!” Energized by what he saw as the chance to fix what was broken, Will continued to bulldoze through. “What time is it?” he asked, wondering how soon he could steal some time to see Elaine.

Just as he reached for his beeper to check the time, it went off. He glanced at the tiny screen and swore. “Damn. Bad timing. I’ve got to go; they’re calling me. But man, Charlie! Thank you so much for sharing this with me. This explains everything!”

“Wait! But –”

Will cut him off. “We’ll talk again. I have to run. But, ahhh, yes!” He pumped his fist and gave a small cheer, drawing some glances from the other people in the garden. Grabbing his friend by the shoulders, he confessed, “I feel a hundred pounds lighter. Like a whole new person. I can’t wait to see Elaine and get this all straightened out. You’re a genius, Charlie, a real genius. If it wouldn’t freak everyone out, including ourselves, I’d totally kiss you right now. Thanks!

“I’ll let you know how it goes,” he called over his shoulder, already running back towards the hospital and its sliding glass doors.

“But I don’t think that’s your only problem,” Charlie finished lamely, to the empty spot next to him on the park bench.

“Crap.”

It was pure agony for Will, to have to wait and talk to Elaine. After his mid-morning chat with Charlie, and the information he’d gleaned from it, he was pulling at the tether to rush down to her shop and talk to her. Make things right.

Normally, Will actually enjoyed making his rounds, talking with the patients, checking up on them. He also didn’t mind the tasks his attendings assigned to him, like doing small sutures, writing up charts or discharging patients. And, as a surgeon, of he course he loved to operate. But today, he bucked against them all. He saw each patient, each assignment, each operation as an impediment to his and Elaine’s happily ever after future. It just figured though that whenever one was watching a clock, the second hand always seemed to slow.

A minute felt like five. An hour felt like two. He was just grateful that, at the very least, he hadn’t been sucked into an operation that would tie him down for several hours.

It was a little past noon when Will finally begged mercy and pointed out to the entire department that he’d been on since four, had only had one break, and was now starving. His colleagues, somewhat surprised by this uncharacteristic outburst, readily agree to cover him so that he could run down for some lunch.

Food, however, was the last thing on Will’s mind.

When Will rushed into Kilnworks, he found Elaine assisting an elderly woman with snow-frosted hair. Their eyes met across the room, but Elaine betrayed no show of emotion and turned her attention back to her customer. Will ran an agitated hand through his dark curls, but stood off to the side, willing himself to not go barging in, allowing Elaine to finish with her customer first. Only, the customer was one of those indecisive sorts and Elaine seemed in no hurry to rush her towards a decision. With every tick of the second hand, both his impatience and desperation grew. After all, he’d already been watching the clock for several hours now. Finally, he could take it no longer.

“Excuse me, I really hate to interrupt but Elaine, I have to speak with you.”

“As you see, I’m currently with a customer. You’ll have to wait.”

Will would not be deterred by her frosty tones. He flashed the said customer one of his foolproof smiles, causing the elderly woman to gasp and smile. She looked on in utter fascination.

“I know and I’m sorry,” he apologized to them both. “I’d wait but I’m due back at the hospital in fifteen minutes and this is really important. Please, won’t you talk with me?”

“Ooooh, a handsome doctor!” Twin spots of red bloomed across the customer’s cheeks as Will and Elaine turned to her. While Will favored her with a wink, a move guaranteed to set the customer’s heart aflutter, Elaine sighed and checked her watch. She really didn’t want to do this, but, “Very well. I apologize, Mrs. Austen, but it appears I have a personal matter to attend to. Would you mind very much if I asked one of the other girls to assist you?”

“Not at all, dearie! You run right along,” the kind customer patted Elaine on the arm. If she were forty some years younger, the elderly woman considered, she’d give the young artist a run for the money. This earnest physician, whoever he was, was seriously cute.

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Austen.” Waving Mariah over, she assured Mrs. Austen that Mariah was just as knowledgeable and capable as she.

As soon as she’d made sure Mariah and the customer would be fine without her, Elaine led Will to the back. “Well, that wasn’t completely rude, embarrassing or unprofessional at all!” She crossed her arms and kept her back towards the door and Will. “I mean, how would you like it if I barged in on one of your examining rooms and demanded your attention while you had a patient lying there garbed in nothing more than one of those flimsy paper gowns?”

Will might’ve flinched at her tone, sensed that not all was well, except he was too hyped up with anticipation and eagerness to notice. “I know. It was unforgivable and I really am sorry, but – I just – I really need to talk to you.”

“Well you have me now,” she said sourly, turning around.

He took a deep breath. “I need to know – well, I just realized that my grandmother must have spoken to you at that country club picnic, and I wanted – no, needed – to know why you never told me about it.”

Elaine gasped. “How did you find out about that?!”

“Does it really matter?” He wished she’d stay on track.

“Yes!”

“Okay, fine, Charlie told me.”

Elaine growled. She’d kill him. She’d kill her sister. She’d kill them both.

“Don’t be mad at him,” Will said. “I’m glad he said something because now I understand and it all makes sense. Did she say something to make you believe that we shouldn’t be together? Elaine, I can’t believe you’d let my grandmother stand in the way of our happiness!”

The way he was speaking to her, in his “don’t be so silly” sort of tone, grated on her nerves. But he continued on, “Don’t worry about my grandmother. She’ll come around and even if she doesn’t, who cares? I don’t and neither do my parents. They already love you, just as I do. G-d, Elaine, I’m so glad we’ve cleared up this misunderstanding because I’ve missed you so much!”

He started forwards with his arms outstretched to take her into his arms, but Elaine stepped backwards, shaking her head. Her hip hit the corner of the table where Madeline had just that morning set out her pottery pieces to dry. Behind her, some of the closely set ones rattled.

“Will, this doesn’t change anything.”

“What do you mean?”

“This isn’t about your grandmother. Or my parents. It never was. It’s about us. I thought you understood that.”

Will stared blankly at her. “But there’s nothing wrong with us. Is there? We’ve shared so much . . . we’ve always been happy and gotten along. Haven’t we? All the –”

“I think you should go,” Elaine interrupted. Her voice was soft and gentle, but also undeniably sad. And firm. “I think you should go. You’ll be late to the hospital and I need to get back to work too.”

The look he shot her seared her with its pain and anger, but she would not stop him as he stormed out. She was still staring at the empty doorway even as she heard the bells of the store’s door tinkle from his exit.

Outside, alone in his car, Will slammed his fist into the steering wheel out of anger and frustration.

I thought you understood that.

No. He didn’t understand. That was the problem. He’d never understood.

Resting his forehead on the steering wheel, bereft of all energy now, he didn’t know what to do.

Back in the store, Madeline pushed aside the back curtain and stepped inside the darkened back room. “Are you all right?”

Elaine shook her head. “No.” A single tear escaped and then there was a cascade.

Madeline sighed. Her heart ached for her friend. Seating herself next to Elaine, she pulled her friend into her arms. It was like comforting a small child who’d fallen and hurt herself on the playground. Only, those wounds were easier to soothe. You couldn’t put a band-aid over the heart.

“Elaine!” Mariah burst through the doorway suddenly. “Oh,” she said, taking in the scene before her. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“What is it, Mariah?” Madeline asked.

“There’s someone here to see Elaine.”

“Tell him to go away,” Elaine muffled miserably into Madeline’s arm. “I told him to leave. I don’t want to see him again. I can’t see him again.”

Mariah’s feet shuffled uncomfortably in their spot. “It’s, um, not the same guy who just left. It’s a different one. Says his name is George Wu?”

Both Elaine and Madeline stiffened.

Elaine carefully lifted herself from Madeline’s embrace and looked searchingly at her friend. It was a silent question.

Madeline swiveled around to Mariah. “Tell him . . .” What was she supposed to say?

She turned back to Elaine, looked past the tear-streaked face, the damp pieces of hair clinging to her cheeks, towards the pleading look in her friend’s eyes. With her eyes locked in Elaine’s gaze, she nodded confidently and answered Mariah, “Tell him she’ll be there in a minute.”

Chapter Twenty

Posted on Tuesday, 8 January 2008

She found her sister wrapped in a thin, hand-knitted shawl, hunched over whatever it was she had in her lap, sitting on a near deserted beach. She didn’t make a habit of checking up on her sister or hunting her down, but she hadn’t seen her in almost two days. An amazing feat given that they were roommates and, up until now, had always shared their entire lives with each other.

Jane didn’t know what to do. There’d never been a gulf so large between her and Elaine. In the past, whenever one of them had run into trouble, they’d turned to each other for comfort or advice, sometimes both. This time was different. Even now, her sister looked completely alone. She stood apart and wondered how best to bridge that distance.

The answer never came and, in the end, Jane decided that it was perhaps best to leave Elaine be. She was content to know that her sister was safe, at least, and hoped that her sister would, in her own time, come to her, as she’d always done in the past.

Lost in her thoughts, in the images crowding her head, Elaine never knew that her sister had come to seek her out.

She’d come to China Beach without the intention of doing so. It was as if she’d been drawn there by some unseen force.

Giving up the pretense of trying to sleep, the minute new dawn had crept through her bedroom window, she’d tossed off the twisted comforter and quickly dressed. Once on the streets of San Francisco, she’d felt as restless there as she had in her own bed. Somehow, she’d ended up at the beach. Perhaps it was sun rising steadily above the water that had beckoned to her like the beacon from a light. Or maybe it was the memories she’d been hiding from for the past several weeks that had forced her there to confront them at last head on.

All she knew was that, once there, she’d felt a wave of clarity come over her. For the first hour, she’d sat in the sand, staring at the unseen and smelling the salt from the sea spray, remembering the last time she’d been at the beach. With Will. How happy she’d been. How happy they’d been. With her emotions running rampant, she did the only thing she could when her heart ached from an overflow of feelings; she drew out her sketchpad and tried to express herself there.

Ironically, the last time she’d done a drawing – a real drawing, and not one done for her pottery work – she’d drawn a portrait of Will. As tempting as it was to recall his image, to trace the grooves in his face as well as his lips, she refused to let herself heed the Siren’s call. She drew instead a mermaid, caught in that last moment when she’d had to choose between life on land with her beloved or everything she’d ever known and her family in the sea.

It was the story of the Little Mermaid; a story Will had shared with her the last time they’d walked the beach hand-in-hand.

Elaine worked quietly. Industriously. But not without thought. With every line, every smudge of the charcoal, and every sweep of her hand, she thought as much of the image she was bringing to life as she was of the last month she’d spent in George Wu’s company.

He’d come to her at her store, in the worst moment perhaps: minutes after her last argument with Will. She’d been ready to send him away when Madeline invited him in. In the end, she was glad for her friend’s highhandedness.

George could see immediately that not everything was well. “You’ve been crying,” he observed. “Maybe I’ve come at a bad time.”

Elaine brushed self-consciously at the tear tracks. “No, it’s just . . . It’s been a rough morning.”

“I hear it’s been a rough couple of weeks,” George corrected.

Elaine found herself laughing in spite of herself. “Thank goodness for the Chinatown Grapevine. If there’s one thing you can always count on, it’s that.”

“Your mother’s been very concerned about your welfare.”

“So she and your mother sent you into the battlefield like some avenging kung fu fighter? Determined to save me from the Big Bad White Man?”

“You don’t give them enough credit. Or me. I came because I wanted to see you – no more, no less – I was curious about you.”

Elaine looked up at that. “Really?”

“I see you don’t give yourself enough credit either. What a shame. We’ll have to correct that.” Elaine blushed and stepped away from the intensity of his gaze. It saw too much. And much too deeply. “I can’t believe it’s been almost ten years since we last saw each other,” George continued without missing a beat. “You’re beautiful.”

“You needn’t sound so surprised,” Elaine retorted, finding it surprisingly easy to slip back into the teasing banter they’d shared in school if she let herself.

“No, I’m not surprised. You were always attractive, but now you’re practically luminescent. You can tell at a glance that you’ve found your place in the world. I always had a feeling you’d wow the world once you let yourself emerge from the cocoon.”

“Luminescent? Wowing the world?” She chuckled not knowing whether to toss aside his words as tired lines or blush from high praise.

He proved intuitive when he added without pause, “I speak sincerely.”

“Well, I don’t know about all that, but thanks,” Elaine blushed, unaccustomed to such attention or flattery. “Look at you!” she quickly moved on, turning the focus away from herself. “A doctor! I always knew you’d be successful.”

“Is being a doctor the measure of success? I suppose it often is that Asian Holy Grail, isn’t it?” George joked. “But don’t discount your own achievements, Elaine. You’re a talented artist with a very lovely store here. I took the liberty of browsing while I waited for you; you have some very fine pieces.”

“How do you know you weren’t admiring my partner’s works?”

“You forget; I’m the genius doctor. I asked one of your staff,” he revealed with a smile. “I was curious about you and your store,” George said, circling back to the beginning of their conversation. “When I moved back to San Francisco and my mother told me you were still living in the area and what you were up to, I wasn’t surprised to hear it seeing as how art class was, much to my dismay, the one class in which I always came in second. I was pleased to hear you’d been able to make a life out of your art. A natural curiosity about the kind of work you did and the person you’d become followed, so when I found myself with an hour off this afternoon I stopped by. And here I am.

“Now that we’ve met again, I hope you’ll invite me back.”

Elaine could feel her mother’s hand at her back, pushing her forward. But as she took George’s hand, she stepped out of its path. She was accepting his friendship on her own terms, because she liked what she’d seen, and not because anyone had told her she should.

“I’d like that.”

“Great. I’ll give you a call when I have a day off, maybe we’ll get lucky and you’ll have a free day too.”

Luck was on their side and they made plans to spend the next Saturday together. Elaine found herself looking forward to seeing George again. A small part of her felt guilty; she shoved it aside. When George picked her up, he found only a woman in perfect spirits.

They shared an indulgent brunch of French toast stuffed with bananas and then walked off the calories with a visit to the Japanese tea garden at Golden Gate Park. It was the most pleasurable afternoon Elaine had had in a month. They revisited their childhood and swapped updates about friends and classmates with whom they were in touch.

“I can’t believe Charlotte Liu is dating Billy Chiu!” George exclaimed, throwing his piece of bread just a little bit harder at the feeding ducks.

“Not just dating. Engaged.”

George practically fumbled his bag of bread. “Get out of here!”

“I know! But it’s true. Poor Charlotte.”

“Poor Charlotte? Poor me! I can’t believe Billy Chiu managed to find a wife before me! Billy Chiu!”

Elaine had to laugh and fed more bread to the ducks.

It was with regret that Elaine ended their afternoon. “I’m sorry to cut things short, but I promised Maria I’d fill in for her since she had to leave early.”

“Don’t sweat it. So you have to work on a Saturday, it’s cool. I often do too,” he winked. He dropped her off in front of her store. Before she could shut her door, he leaned over and asked, “Hey! How about dinner and a movie Wednesday night?”

Elaine thought about it for a second. “Sounds great.”

They met several times after that. Usually for meals, though one time she’d helped him buy furniture for his new apartment. “Because you have an artist’s eye,” he’d told her. It felt incredibly domestic, furniture shopping with George, and had made her feel uneasy, but only for a little bit until she realized George treated it casually without any expectation.

After a few meetings, once Elaine realized George treated all their outings without any expectation, she started to relax. These weren’t dates. They were pre-scheduled arrangements to hang out with a friend who happened to be of the male persuasion. Elaine happily operated under such beliefs until one Friday afternoon when she received the summons. “I’m in the middle of firing stuff, Ma, so I can’t talk right now. What’s up?”

“I just make sure you coming to dinner tonight.”

Elaine did a quick flip through her mental calendar. “Of course, isn’t it our week for the family dinner?”

“Good. You remember. I make special dinner tonight. You no be late.”

Elaine brushed the back of her hand against her sweaty brow. “Yeah, sure. I’ll have to run home to clean up first tonight, but I’ll try and be on time.”

Elaine was still wondering about her mother’s phone call as she and Jane climbed the stairs to their parents’ apartment. “Who can ever explain what Ma does?” Jane said in answer to her sister’s query. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

But Elaine worried anyway. Especially as her mother leapt on her as soon as they walked through the front door. “Elaine-ah! You finally come!”

“Er, yeah. Sorry, Ma. There was traffic and then I had to find something clean to wear.” As soon as she gave her explanation, Elaine started to kick herself for admitting that she hadn’t done her laundry in a few weeks. Here the lecture would come: she should always be on top of her chores and she should always have clean clothes at the ready, how was she ever to be a responsible adult managing a household if she couldn’t even handle the simple task of doing laundry?

The lecture never came though. “Mei guan xi,” her mother told her. It’s alright. “You come just in time.” She tugged on Elaine’s arm and seated her at the table. “Jane, go fill rice bowls,” she instructed over her shoulder. Meanwhile, Fanny placed a platter of roast duck, Elaine’s favorite, right in front of her. “I buy just for you,” her mother told her. “I know you like.” Accompanying the roast duck were several of her other favorite dishes: oyster pancakes, pork and yellow chives, watercress, and steamed sea bass.

As Jane came back to the table with rice bowls at hand, she looked at Elaine. “What’s the special occasion?” danced on the tip of her tongue, but Elaine knew that one never questioned their mother. She would reveal herself all in good time.

Once her father was seated, they broke fast and Fanny began to question her daughters about their work. She even made a special effort to ask Elaine whether she’d created any new and interesting pieces lately. Elaine was halfway through her rice when her mother showed her cards. “You seem happier lately?”

“Um. Yeah, I guess.” Elaine shrugged. “I’m doing okay.”

Fanny smiled encouragingly at her daughter. “I so glad. It’s no good be, how you say, mopey all the time. It nice change to see you smile.”

“Thanks, Ma.”

“So, I hear you see George Wu?”

Elaine choked on a piece of duck. Trying not to hack it up, she managed, “Sure, on a couple of occasions.”

“His mother say he spend all his free time with you.”

The insinuations were rife. “Well, you know how doctors are; they don’t have a lot of free time. He’s very busy.”

“But when he is free, he call you!” Fanny finished triumphantly.

Elaine was very uncomfortable with the direction of her mother’s thoughts. She was also discomfited to hear what George’s mother had been telling her own mother. She started to wonder just what exactly George had told his mother, how much she had misconstrued, and how much her own mother had in turn misinterpreted. And then she wondered how she was ever going to extricate herself from this mess. Her helpless eyes met Jane’s across the table.

Fanny was oblivious to her daughter’s inner turmoil. “George such nice boy. I met him yesterday at market. He come home to help his mama shop and carry her things. Isn’t that nice boy?”

Elaine stared at her mother in horror at this latest revelation. Her mother had met George? She could only imagine just how her mother had behaved towards him. Twin spots of red immediately appeared on Elaine’s cheeks. She pleaded silently for the Kitchen God to please zap her with lightening and put her out of her misery.

“I wish my daughters had that much xiao shun. Even though he doctor and very busy, very tired from his work, he still come home to help to help his parents. That very respectful son. He no go home just to eat!” Fanny waved a chopstick at Elaine. “He go home and do things for his mother and father. You spend more time with George. Maybe he teach you some things.”

Yeah, Elaine thought sarcastically, because that was why her mother was so eager to have them spend time together: so he could teach her how to xiao shun her parents.

It was a huge relief when Elaine and Jane were finally allowed to leave. Elaine didn’t bother to hide her exhale as they clomped back down the stairs to their car. She was unaccustomed to being the center of her mother’s adoration, and she wasn’t eager to relive the experience, happy to have Jane return to the prized position in their mother’s eye. “I don’t know how you do it,” she told Jane.

“Do what?”

“Withstand ma’s constant fawning.”

Jane laughed. “It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? What was that tonight?”

“She was in particularly high spirits tonight,” Jane conceded.

“I’ll say she was high,” Elaine muttered. “She was definitely high on something.”

“The thought of her two daughters snagging two Chinese doctors, perhaps? Imagine how proudly she’d be able to display her laurels in front of Mrs. Liu at the next mahjong party.”

Elaine snorted.

They were halfway home when Jane broached the subject again. “Elaine?”

“Hm?”

“Is . . . do you . . . are you truly interested in George Wu?”

Elaine kept her eyes focused on the road as she drove. “He’s a nice guy.”

But what about Will? Though the question went unasked, it was very much on both of their minds.

She met George the next evening for dinner. “You look exhausted,” he noted. “Long day?”

“More like rough day. I didn’t sleep well last night and I’ve been dragging all day.”

George frowned. “Anything wrong?”

Elaine shook her head. “No. Just felt restless, that’s all. How was work?”

“On a weekend? Oh, the usual excitement. Car accidents and college parties that got out of hand, what can I say? We’re like an episode out of ER. What about you?”

“Nothing so exciting, I’m afraid. Just another day at the store. Although, I did make two huge sales this morning, so that was good.”

“Congratulations.”

“Last night was the bi-weekly Bai family dinner.”

“Ah, that’s right. My mother’s told me about those, except it was phrased more like, ‘Why can’t you be more like Jane and Elaine Bai. Did you know they come home every other Friday to have dinner with the family? They make time for their family! I should be so lucky to have children like that. I should’ve had daughters instead of a useless son.’”

Elaine snorted, taking a roll and breaking it in half. George passed the butter to her as she said, “That’s hilarious because just last night my mother was saying that we ought to be more like you, because you go home and help your mother shop for groceries and carry her bags. Speaking of which, you met my mother Thursday night?”

Finished with the butter, she passed it back to George. “Mm, I did. That’s right. I forgot to tell you about that.”

“And?”

He paused in the buttering his roll and looked up. “What?”

“Nothing. Never mind.” Elaine took a bite of her bread while cursing the male obtuseness. While she was still chewing over his very noncommittal answer, George shifted to an entirely new topic.

It wasn’t until dessert that Elaine dared to broach the subject again. The waitress had brought them their orders and served the coffee. Elaine had spent an entire night and day thinking about her mother’s comments from the night before, and wondering just how George felt about their relationship. She didn’t see any other way around the problem except to ask the question directly. So she did. “George, what are your intentions?”

His hand faltered as he reached for the cream, but he covered it deftly by quirking his mouth and asking, “Now Elaine, that’s not a very ladylike question. Isn’t your father supposed to quiz me about that?”

“I’m serious, George.”

He could tell that she was. She was quiet and earnest-looking. Her gaze held steadfast on him. The smile slipped from his face; the twinkle left his eyes. Still, he took the time to pour his cream and stir his coffee. He cut into his slice of pumpkin praline pie and said, finally, “You’re an interesting woman, Elaine.” He stopped there, played with his bite of pie, and considered how best to phrase what he had to say. “You’re interesting,” he repeated, “and warm, funny, attractive. I really like being with you and I think, given time, I could really love you.”

Elaine’s heart had started to sink with each flattering adjective, but it plummeted at his last admission. “I can sense your disappointment,” George said.

“I’m not disappointed,” she protested.

“It’s in your eyes.” He laughed mirthlessly. “And they say the ‘L’ word is the only thing a woman ever wants to hear.”

“You didn’t say you loved me.”

“No, but that’s because I know you’re not really in a place for that right now, so I haven’t let myself love you.” He pushed his plate to the side and leaned forward, crossing his elbows on the table. “When I look at you, Elaine, I think several things: that I wish I’d moved back a year ago and reconnected with you then, that the timing now wasn’t so bad, that this Will guy wasn’t so great that you’d already lost your heart to him.

“Now I’ve made you uncomfortable.”

“I just don’t know what to say, George. This wasn’t what I expected.”

“I know.”

“I thought we were two old friends, reuniting after having gone our separate ways for several years, getting to know each other better and being new friends.”

“We were.”

“Then why does that have to change?” She honestly hadn’t meant for that to sound like a four-year-old’s whine. Or someone incredibly frantic and crazed.

George sighed. “I didn’t plan any of this either, Elaine. It just sort of . . . happened. I know there’s a part of you that still doesn’t believe that I came to you out of self-interest and not because our mothers pointed us in each other’s direction. But that’s the truth. Like you said, we were once friends. I wanted to know you again. I never imagined I’d feel something more once I met you. But, once I did, I also knew you weren’t ready for someone new in your life. You’ve just gotten out of a serious relationship and, if I’m reading all the signs correctly, you’re still pretty hung up on him. I guess I was hoping to ride it out, to see where things took you. Where things took us.

“You were the one who forced my hand tonight, and I guess I have our mothers to thank for that as well.” The look on Elaine’s face was admission enough. “But maybe it’s just as well that we had this discussion now rather than later.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s helped me to see that I don’t think you’re ever going to be over your ex.”

Elaine was taken aback. “I just need time.”

George shook his head knowingly. “It’s pretty clear from where I’m sitting that time isn’t what you need; it’s Will.”

“Will’s not an option.”

“Why?”

“Because.”

That had been over a week ago. During the time in between, Elaine had spent a lot of time mulling over George’s question and her unsatisfactory answer. She’d been stunned to discover she really didn’t have a good answer for why Will wasn’t an option. That spawned the next question: what did that mean?

As Elaine finished her drawing and looked down to study it, she took note of the yearning in the Little Mermaid’s demeanor. Without intending to, Elaine had chosen to portray that moment when the Little Mermaid was perched on a rock in the middle of the sea caught between two lives. Though her body and neck were stretched towards the sea, her eyes . . . filled with such yearning, they were focused on the opposite direction: the land.

Elaine knew that in the original version, the Little Mermaid hadn’t achieved the happy fate that was so commonly associated with her tale; but, as she traced her fingers along the fins of the mermaid’s tail, Elaine thought, At least she tried to find her happiness. Even knowing what it would cost her, she’d still gone after her prince. Which was more than Elaine could say for herself, cutting herself from Will and then moping about it.

She really had no one to blame but herself. The realization was liberating.

Jane walked through the door half hoping, half dreading what she’d find. Or not find. While she’d been at work, she’d been able to supplant the worry and concern with busy work. Now, with her hand on the doorknob, she opened the door to her home life. She stopped by her sister’s room, forcing herself not to hesitate. The door opened easily. The room was dark. Even with the lights off, she could feel the emptiness in the room. Jane’s shoulder’s flagged. She didn’t need lights to see Elaine was still out, hiding. She sighed.

She turned for her own bedroom, dragging her briefcase from her shoulder as she walked. At the doorway, she paused. She was wrong. Elaine was home. She was curled, snug as a caterpillar in its cocoon, and sleeping peacefully. A wave of relief rushed over her. Elaine hadn’t just come home, she’d come home to her.

She dragged over a chair and sat at the head of the bed, watching her sister sleep. As she waited for Elaine to wake, the tension seeped out of her.

Eventually, Elaine awoke. She opened her left eye first, and then both.

“You’re home,” they spoke at the same time. One sister’s voice bright, the other groggy.

“You’re home,” Jane repeated, claiming the older sister’s prerogative to go first. She brushed the dampened wisps of hair away from Elaine’s forehead. “It’s good to have you back.”

It was a question as much as it was a statement. Elaine didn’t shy away from it; this was a part of her new resolution. “I’ve worried you. I’m sorry, Jie.”

“You needed time. You had some issues you needed to work out. On your own.”

Though she could hear the hurt in her sister’s voice and knew her sister would be hurt anew by what she had to say next, Elaine agreed. “I did. I needed to think things over for myself. I needed to make sure that whatever decision I came to about my future – whether it included Will or not – had to be my own decision, and one that wasn’t influenced by mom, Will’s grandmother . . . or even you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. You may not realize this, Jie, but you were just as bad as Ma or Will’s grandmother.”

“What?”

Elaine could almost laugh at the indignation in her sister’s reaction. “While they were adamant against the relationship, you were decidedly for the relationship.”

“Only because I thought that was what you wanted, and because I honestly believe Will’s a wonderful match for you. You know I would never encourage you, even if I thought that was what you wanted, if I didn’t like the person.”

“I know, and I’m not blaming you, Jie. It’s just, how do I put it?” Elaine thought for a minute. “Ma and Will’s grandmother thought it’d be best for everyone if we broke up. You thought I was destined for Will. After a while, I no longer knew what the best was or what my destiny was. It grew very muddy and confusing quickly. All I know is that I started to look at you after a while and resentfully wonder, ‘What does she know?’ I mean, you have the perfect relationship with Charlie, who’s Chinese and a doctor. There are no complaints from our parents or his, and everyone seems to get along great. It’s absolutely idyllic. Meanwhile, you’re telling me to go for Will, to fight for our relationship, and I started to feel that if I didn’t do that, then I’d just be copping out in your eyes. But, Jie, you’ve no idea what it’s like for me or how hard it is. It’s easy for you to suggest bucking traditions when you’re not the one suffering the ramifications.”

“I didn’t know. I’m sorry,” Jane said, feeling very small.

Elaine grabbed her sister’s hand. “I’m not blaming you. And I’m certainly not saying that everything is completely perfect or a paradise for you and Charlie; I know you have your rough patches too. I’m just trying to explain how I felt and why I needed to put some distance between us recently.”

“So what did you decide?”

Elaine shifted over in the bed and Jane wasted no time in climbing in. As she settled in beside her sister, she was reminded of all the times they’d shared a bed. When they were little, living in the same room, they’d often done so to ward off the evil monsters that lived under their beds. Later, it’d been to gossip under the cover of darkness over the boys they’d found cute and dreamy. Things weren’t so different now that they were adults, apparently.

Elaine waited until Jane was comfortable, and then drew her picture up from the other side of the bed to share with her sister. Jane’s reaction upon seeing it was immediate and sincere. “Elaine! This is wonderful. When did you draw it?”

“It’s just a sketch I made this morning,” she answered modestly. “You know I don’t normally draw, but it was there inside of me this morning, begging to be unleashed. In an interesting sort of way, drawing it helped me put things into perspective. I didn’t even realize a connection until I was done with the sketch. As I was explaining before, I was so focused on wanting to make the right decision that I completely lost sight of the real goal. My happiness.

“You know, in the real Little Mermaid story, it doesn’t end as happily as it does in the Disney version. Because she’s so in love with the prince, she accepts the witch’s potion, knowing that she’ll lose her voice and walking on legs will feel like she’s walking on knives. Even without the guarantee of her prince’s love, she chooses to make the sacrifice. I guess it’s true what they say, that it’s better to have loved and lost than not at all, because that’s what happened to the Little Mermaid. He married another girl instead, and she went back to the sea and died.”

“That’s a depressing thought.”

“Isn’t it though? And you know I hate it when stories end unhappily. But as I thought about the story some more, I realized something very important about her tale: at least she tried. Whatever choices she made, she made them with her whole heart. It made me see that I need to do the same thing. Instead of focusing on what’s “right,” or worrying about the consequences of my actions, I only need to do one thing. I need to follow my heart.”

“And what is your heart telling you?”

“I need to go talk to Will.”

Jane had never been as proud of her sister as she was in that moment. There was strength in Elaine’s voice and confidence in her demeanor. Jane didn’t dare to tell Elaine she’d made the right decision, or that she was happy with the choice her sister had made. That wasn’t what Elaine would want to hear and, as she’d recently learned, it wasn’t her place to say. Instead, she said the only thing she could say in this instance. She said, “Good-luck.”

Telling her sister her plan was one thing, executing it was another. Elaine had never felt so nervous as she did in that moment. Which was why she was hiding down the street from Will’s house trying to muster enough confidence to walk up the street and press the buzzer on his front door.

Her sweaty palms fingered the sides of the skirt her sister had forced on her. She counted to ten. I can do this, she told herself.

And she’d do it as soon as she caught her breath and could hear her own footsteps over the pounding in her chest. Would her heart ever stop beating so wildly or so loudly?

“This is stupid,” she said aloud to no one. A woman walking by with her Teacup Yorkie turned back and looked at her. “Great, now people think I’m nuts because I’m standing aimlessly on the sidewalk talking to myself. Way to go, Elaine.”

Maybe she just needed to just get it over with, rip away the band-aid, so to speak. It wouldn’t be productive to rehash all the doubts, especially when that’s all she’d done on the drive over to Will’s. Who cared if he was furious with her, or if he’d moved on, she’d make him listen. She’d plead for understanding and forgiveness if that’s what it took. All she wanted was another chance, and she wasn’t going to leave until she got what she wanted.

Clenching her fists, she nodded determinedly. Yes, she was going to do this.

She began the march like a soldier intent upon his mission. She hadn’t gotten far though when something up ahead stopped her short. There was someone exiting the Victorian house. Maybe it was one of the other tenants. She hoped it wasn’t Will. She edged closer and upon recognition, a small cry rose from within. It was Michele! His childhood friend, the opera singer. Another figure emerged and turned to lock the front door. It was Will! Elaine quickly ducked behind the nearest bush.

Her heart was really racing now, but she couldn’t resist one more peek. What she saw next made her wish she’d never looked back.

Chapter 21

Posted on Thursday, 7 February 2008

Will paused at the top of the porch stairs.

He scratched his forehead and looked confusedly down the street. For a second there, he could’ve sworn he’d seen Elaine. Ridiculous. It couldn’t have been her. She had no reason being in his neighborhood. Shaking off the daze, Will chastised himself and reminded himself that he really needed to stop looking for Elaine wherever he went.

Michele was right. He did need to get out of the house more often, and hurried down the sidewalk after her. When he gained her side, he gave her a quick peck.

“What was that for?”

“For being a friend.”

“So what do you think?” Lydia asked Mariah. Both were hunched over the counter staring at the new piece of artwork Elaine had left behind.

“Definitely a broken heart piece,” Mariah agreed.

“A what piece?” Madeline asked, breezing in through the front door and obviously surprising her staff as they jumped guiltily apart.

“A broken heart piece,” Lydia answered.

“What the heck is a broken heart piece?”

“You should know better than anyone else, being an artist yourself. It’s something you artists make when you’re broken-hearted. Instead of hurling objects as a normal person might, you unleash your emotions onto a canvas. A musician might turn it into a song. Everyone knows a broken heart is the best sort of muse,” she stated, matter-of-factly.

Madeline just stared at Lydia. Then she rolled her eyes and walked past her, into the back room. “What I don’t get though,” Lydia continued, two steps behind, “is how come this isn’t more tortured looking. Usually, when an artist has a broken heart and makes something, it comes out all dark and twisted, or totally weird and chaotic. You know, basically something that’s completely filled with angst or rage. This piece, though, is the antithesis of all that. I mean, it’s half pink or mauve, or whatever it is you call this color. And normal-looking. Fanciful, almost. This is not your typical broken heart piece.”

She almost sounded disappointed by that fact, and therefore in the piece, despite the fact that it was technically speaking one of the finest pieces Elaine had ever produced.

Madeline ignored her, stowed away her jacket and bag, then grabbed her apron off one of the pegs near the doorway, and reentered the store. As she walked past the counter, she glanced at Elaine’s piece again and said, “That’s because it’s a mermaid.”

“But Elaine’s heart was broken, wasn’t it?” Mariah asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Madeline answered, wrapping the ends of her apron back around to the front and tying them in a neat knot. “Elaine doesn’t have a broken heart.”

“Then what about this piece?”

“It’s not a ‘heart break piece,’ or whatever it is you guys are calling it,” Madeline groaned in exasperation. “It’s a mermaid. A simple, unassuming, run of the mill, albeit very well-crafted, mermaid. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t represent anything. And it’s certainly not an outlet for Elaine’s emotions. It’s just a – repeat after me – mermaid.”

“Then why did she make it?”

“Yeah,” Lydia chimed in. “She’s never made a mermaid before.”

“So? We make new stuff all the time, you know that. It’s just an idea that came to her over the weekend. Look guys, I don’t know why you’re making a mountain out of a molehill. This is very uncharacteristic of you two. Why does Elaine make anything? Why do I make anything?” Madeline stared at her staff like they were aliens recently landed. “How long have you guys been working here? You know how we operate. We make and then we sell. Without the first part, we have no stock for the second part. Duh.”

“Well of course we know that,” Mariah said. “It’s just . . .”

“What?” Madeline practically dared her to answer.

While Mariah shrank against Madeline’s formidable glare, Lydia, her fearless counterpart, rose to the occasion. “We thought Elaine got crushed over the weekend.”

“She did not get crushed, nor does she have a broken heart!” Madeline waved away their concerns and forced laughter in her voice, determined to keep them from the truth. Though both she and Elaine adored their staff – though perhaps not during times like these – there were some things that were private, and not for their prying eyes or ears.

“But, wait, what about what she saw over the weekend?”

“What? What’d she see?”

“You know. With . . . Will.”

“Lydia,” Madeline began dangerously, “were you eavesdropping on our conversation yesterday?”

“No! I would never eavesdrop. I just . . . couldn’t help overhear.” Madeline stared sternly at her. “It’s not my fault you and Elaine were talking so loudly.”

Madeline’s jaw dropped in disbelief. They’d been talking as loudly as a strict librarian at work!

“So what’s going on?” Mariah wanted to know, definitely braver now that the subject had been broached. “Do you really think Will was making out with that other woman like Elaine claims she saw?”

“Is she completed devastated?” Lydia wanted to know.

“I don’t think she really saw what she saw.”

“Don’t be stupid, Mariah. Of course she saw what she saw. How can you mistake lip-locking?”

“Well, she admitted herself she was watching from a ways away. She could’ve have misinterpreted something!”

“I repeat: how can you misinterpret lip-locking? Do you want me to do a reenactment for you?”

Mariah shoved Lydia away as the latter lurched forward like a zombie and jokingly made loud, lip-smacking noises as if she were really going to kiss Mariah. “Oh, stop it, will you? All I’m saying is, it just doesn’t seem like a very Will sort of thing to do to profess his love for her one minute and then go make out with another woman the next. I don’t think he’d actually treat Elaine that way.”

“How would you know? You’ve only met him a few times.”

“And he was always very gentlemanly and kind.” Mariah fairly swooned at the memory of the man.

“Well, they’re broken up now, aren’t they? It’s been about over a month since they last saw each other. So why couldn’t he have been kissing another woman? It’d be just like a man to hop from one to another without a second’s thought, even if he did profess to love a woman.”

Mariah disagreed. “That doesn’t sound like Will at all,” she insisted. “I mean, he was so devoted to Elaine. Don’t you remember the way he came barging in here last month, demanding to see Elaine and wanting to get back together with her? And then how upset he was when he left? He wouldn’t give up so easily.”

“Whatever. I think Elaine should go for George anyway. Talk about hot! And so nice! Not to mention, I bet he’d be more than willing to comfort her right now.” Lydia sighed.

Madeline stared at her staff in horror. “Ladies!”

“What?” Both Lydia and Mariah stopped their conversation to look at her.

“This is . . . wrong. You can’t just sit around gossiping about Elaine like this. She’s your friend, and not to mention, your boss.”

“Which is why we’re ‘discussing’ the matter, not gossiping; we’re concerned for her.”

Madeline gave up, recognizing that no matter what she said, they would continue to gossip about Elaine’s love life. “You guys are beyond hopeless, and I’m not going to stick around to listen to this. I want no part of this conversation.

“I’m going for some coffee.”

Lydia and Mariah shrugged, not the least bit concerned by her admonition. Almost immediately, they returned to their discussion. At the door, Madeline paused. “Just do me one favor?”

“What?” Mariah asked.

“Don’t say anything to Elaine.”

Lydia rolled her eyes. “We’re not stupid.”

“I feel so stupid,” Elaine said.

“Why?” George asked gently.

“Because I’ve made a mess of everything and, once again, I’ve no one to blame but myself. What was I thinking?” she wailed. “I mean, did I really think I could cast Will aside one day and then expect that he’d still be waiting for me the next? Of course not. Of course he’s not going to sit around pining over me. I’m not so egotistical to expect that . . . .”

“But?”

“Then why does it still hurt so much?”

“Maybe you only saw half the picture. Maybe he didn’t really kiss her. Maybe he was blowing a speck of dust from her eye.”

“Which happened to be located near her mouth?”

“There could be a perfectly good explanation for why he was kissing her.”

“Yeah, like he tripped and landed on her mouth?” When George declined to respond to her sarcasm, she sighed. “I know. I need to stop being such a Drama Queen. Especially when I practically pushed him towards Michele. Didn’t I tell him he was better suited for a woman like her, instead of a woman like me? Ugh. I’m so hopeless.”

“I think you’re being very hard on yourself.”

Elaine paused just long enough in her self-pity to observe, “You’re being very kind.”

“What can I say? I’m a very kind person.”

“But I didn’t choose you.”

“I know.”

“Did I –?”

“Did you hurt me as much as you’re hurting now?” George finished for her, when she seemed incapable of forming the question. Elaine nodded. “No. Not quite as much.”

“You’re sweet to come to my aid, George, but you probably shouldn’t have come.”

He almost hadn’t, figuring it’d be too hard to sit by Elaine’s side and watch her suffer because of another man. Again. But, in the end, he hadn’t been able to ignore Jane’s plea either. No one else had been able to reach her, Jane had said, and since he’d been successful at drawing her out once before . . . “I’ll always be your friend, Elaine.”

“You just want me out of my funk. Like everyone else,” she pouted.

“You’re wrong. I think you’re entitled to grieve. You’ve had a surprise, and you need time to assimilate the new information and adjust.”

Elaine sighed. “I don’t deserve such patience or kindness, least of all from you, but I’m going to be selfish anyway and take it. I just have one more question.”

“What’s that?”

“How long is this pain going to last?”

“This is painful and it’s dragging on forever,” Will whispered to Michele. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into coming. How soon can we cut out of here?”

“Shhh . . . This is your own grandmother’s tea party.”

“All the more reason I shouldn’t be here.”

“If I had to suffer through this afternoon, I wasn’t about to go it alone.”

“You so owe me for this.”

“Fine. I’ll let you hide in your hovel for the next couple of days, without nagging you to come out and play. Happy?”

“For how long?”

“What’d you have in mind?”

“Ten days.”

“Three.”

“Seven.”

“Five.”

“Deal. I guess you’re forgiven then.”

“What are you two whispering about so secretively over there?” Catherine de Bourgh demanded imperiously from across the room.

Will immediately glared at his grandmother, not the least bit eager to forgive her for the part she’d played in his separation from Elaine. Michele, knowing exactly what was running through her friend’s mind, placed her hand comfortingly over his. Catherine zeroed in on the gesture and smiled triumphantly. It was just as she had planned. She always knew that, left to their own devices, her grandson and her dear friends’ daughter would find their way to each other. Good breeding and good taste would always show.

While her mother was happy to operate under such delusions, Annette Darcy was not. She could see the sadness lurking behind her son’s eyes, and wished she could make it disappear as easily as she’d been able to solve his troubles when he’d been just a little boy. At the first opportunity, she crossed the room and took the vacant seat next to her son. “I’m so happy you came this afternoon.”

“I don’t know why I’m here. This is clearly a hen party.”

“There are other men here.”

“While that may be an accurate statement, Mother, I hardly think this qualifies as a mixed party when the ratio is five to one.”

“Must you always be so square?”

From his other side, Michele piped up. “It’s my fault, Mrs. Darcy. I forced him into coming and he’s been in a surly mood ever since.”

Annette smiled at her. “Don’t fret, dear. I’m quite used to my son being no better than a big bear with a thorn in his paw. And I’m glad to see someone can bully him into doing stuff, like attending this tea party. Why, if you hadn’t convinced him to come today, who knows when I’d get to see him next. He has a way of avoiding me,” she added slyly.

“Shame on you, Will. You shouldn’t avoid your mother.” To Annette she said, “I’ll leave the two of you to talk then.”

As Michele walked away, Annette turned back to her son. “How are you doing? Really doing?”

“I’m surviving.”

“Is that the best you can do?”

Will shrugged.

“What can your father and I do to help?”

The earnestness in her voice had him softening just enough to answer, “You’re here, aren’t you? You’re already doing enough. Thanks.”

“We love you, son, and I want you to know your happiness is all we’ve ever wanted for you and your sister.” He understood what she was trying to say; she’d neither played a role in her mother’s antics nor did she share her mother’s opinions.

“God, just look at her,” Will said, his voice suddenly frosty again. Annette followed the direction of his derision and landed on her mother. Catherine had waylaid Michele and now had the poor girl sitting next to her as she launched into an interrogation. Both Will and Annette knew the old woman was no doubt terrorizing Michele with questions about when she was going to become her granddaughter-in-law and start sprouting babies. “She might as well take off her huge, honking diamond ring and shove it on Michele’s hand, telling her it’s from me. Could she be more obvious?”

“Your grandmother’s old-fashioned with preconceived notions.”

“Is that a fancy way of saying she’s close-minded?”

Annette winced at his bluntness, even if she did agree. Whatever her views, whatever her actions, Catherine was still her mother. “Not everyone shares her views, Will,” was the best Annette could offer under the circumstances.

“It doesn’t matter anymore anyway.”

“Maybe if you tried talking to Elaine again –”

“No. I’ve already been there and done that. I think she’s made her position clearly known.”

“But, son, if you really think she loves you.”

“I don’t think. I know.”

Annette heard the frustration in his voice, and felt it in her soul as well. That was a mother’s burden; when her child hurt, so did she. When she grabbed his hand in comfort, he looked at her, and saw. He recognized at once his hurt reflected in her.

He angled his head and smiled ruefully. “You look as bewildered as I have felt for the past month.

“Don’t worry, Mother.” He patted her hands. “Despite my feeling towards Grandmother, I’m really okay. Or, at least, I will be. In time.”

“Will you? I am relieved to hear it, though I confess I’m still having a difficult time comprehending it all. If everything you’re telling me is true, that there’s love and affection between the you and Elaine, and your grandmother’s objections aren’t an impediment, then I don’t understand why things can’t be worked out.

“Or maybe I don’t want to understand, because I’m your mother, and biased, and I want my son to have everything he wants.”

He laid his palm against his mother’s cheek briefly in response, a gesture of appreciation.

“It took a while for me to wrap my head around it too, and I’m still struggling every day to makes sense of it all. But the one thing I have come to understand is that I can’t take it personally. Whatever Elaine is thinking, however she’s feeling, it’s completely independent of me. Even though she’s never said it aloud, I know she loves me, so I know it has nothing to do with me. It’s ‘us’ she doesn’t know how to handle.”

“I’m still confused by that. There are tons of intercultural marriages these days, why just last year Edward Ferrars married Elinor Diaz, and just the other day I heard Crystal North was seeing someone who was Asian. Or maybe she was interested in someone Asian. I don’t know. Her mother’s very flighty too; it’s difficult paying attention when she natters on. But my point is, where is the objection? Aside from her parents and your grandmother, of course, but you say she’s said they’re not really the issue.”

“And apparently, they’re not. I’ve had some opportunities to discuss it with Charlie some more and he’s provided some helpful insight. It’s not that intercultural relationships are impossible, it’s just that oftentimes they require more work. There are different traditions to reconcile, different values, different outlooks, expectations, ways of life. Some families are more traditional than others, and Elaine comes from a very traditional family. There are pressures there. I didn’t really understand that before, just as I didn’t really appreciate the differences in how we were raised and how we live. Our family dynamics are completely opposite. Looking back, I suppose I was very cavalier about it all, assuming that everything would sort itself out. I never really gave her the chance to explain, so how could I have given her the proper reassurances, you know?”

“Then why not go back to Elaine and tell her all these things? Let her know that you’re open to listening, to learning, to adapting and making it work. That’s what relationships are all about, after all. To be honest, it doesn’t really matter what your backgrounds are, when two people come together there’s always going to be issues to work through. Love will only sustain you for so long. Work is what makes a relationship last. Even your father and I had our share of compromises to make.” Lowering her brow to his, and her voice, she added, “Do you really think he didn’t have to adjust to the idea of having your grandmother as his mother-in-law? Please! I don’t think the poor man slept for a week after he realized what he’d be marrying into.”

“I think Elaine would tell you it’s not the same thing.” Before she could protest, Will pressed on. “I could go back to her as you suggest, and I’ve contemplated it, but I won’t. Reason number one is because I’ve already gone back to her once before and wasn’t well-received. Reason number two is because I don’t think Elaine’s ready to hear it. A relationship also takes two, and I don’t think she’s ready to take on the extra work that would be required to make ours last. I don’t say that to cast blame. On the contrary, I more than understand. Were I in her position, I’m not sure I’d want to deal with the pressures either. It’d be much easier to find one’s happiness within the comfort zone of the familiar and the known. Is that a cop out? Maybe. But maybe not. I mean, if can still be happy and comfortable, is that so bad?”

“Even if the one you really love is outside that comfort zone?”

Will shrugged. “It is what it is.”

Annette studied her son in silence for several minutes. She was moved and touched by all that he’d said, humbled by his maturity and perceptiveness. She still wasn’t happy with the situation, but then, she didn’t imagine that he was happy with it either. “I don’t think I’ve ever been as proud of you as I am at this moment, Will. I hope you know that.”

“Thanks, Mother.”

“I’m also sorry for how difficult this has all proven to be.”

“I know you are. You know what the kicker is?” Will sighed. “Despite everything I’ve just said, and in spite of everything that I know, I still often find myself wondering: when can I have her back?”

“She’ll be back in about half an hour,” Lydia replied, snapping her gum. “You just missed her. She went to pick up our lunches. Would you like to stick around and wait for her?”

Annette Darcy considered the question. Perhaps it was just as well that Elaine wasn’t around. Even as she’d opened the door to the store, she realized she didn’t have the first clue what she was going to say to Elaine. She’d also started to question the wisdom of her actions. While Will had accepted her meddling when she’d sent Michele to him, to get him off the couch and out of the house, she had a feeling he wouldn’t be so appreciative of her meddling here. But, it was difficult as a mother to stand impotently by, especially after seeing how forlorn her son still was.

“No,” she smiled at the helpful assistant, who’d introduced herself as Lydia. “That’s alright. Perhaps I’ll stop by some other time.”

“Suit yourself,” Lydia shrugged. “Oh, hey, did you want to leave a message or something? Can I at least give her a name?”

“No. Thank you, Lydia. No message. As for the other . . . you can tell her . . . a friend stopped by.”

“Okay.”

Annette was on her way out of the store when something caught her eye. She’d taken a look around when she’d first entered the store – and been impressed by the pieces displayed – but, somehow, she’d missed this. She double-backed to the far corner and leaned over to take a closer look at the piece.

“This is remarkable,” she said aloud.

Lydia looked up from the fashion magazine she’d been poring over at the counter. “I’m sorry, what?”

“This piece, right here. It’s beautiful. What can you tell me about it?”

Lydia followed her finger. “Oh! Yeah, that’s a new piece. Elaine just made that over the weekend.”

“Elaine made this?”

“Uh-huh.”

“The detail is amazing. May I pick it up?”

Lydia shrugged. “Sure.”

Annette handled it carefully and studied the tiny statue from all angles and with care. The tail and its fins were practically lifelike, the way they curved and then lifted with a wave in the air. Each scale had been painstakingly etched into the tail and deftly positioned to catch the light just so. The golden strands of the mermaid’s hair had also been carefully carved so that each strand was its own. It really was skillfully made. However, it was the mermaid’s physiognomy that was the most arresting. The direction of her gaze was unmistakable.

Her heart began to beat with excitement, even as Annette cautioned herself to proceed slowly. Perhaps she was reading too much into things, because she needed to for the sake of her son, but a part of her felt certain that this had to mean something. Hope bloomed within.

“You said it was made only this weekend?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Is it for sale?”

“Oh well, I don’t know. Elaine just made it a few days ago and I don’t know if she’s ready to part with it.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. She’s not saying and neither is her best friend, my other boss, but I think it’s supposed to be somehow related to her ex-boyfriend.”

“Her ex-boyfriend.”

“Oh yeah, a real nice guy. I know Elaine really likes him too, but for some reason she kept sending him away and she’s been really down about it ever since.”

“That sounds tragic.”

Lydia nodded dramatically. “I know! I think the mermaid’s supposed to somehow represent the relationship, but I don’t know how. It’s just a guess.”

“You can tell there’s a lot of love in this piece.”

“That’s what Mariah and I said! Mariah’s my best friend and she also works here. We were discussing this piece yesterday and saying that it represented Elaine’s broken heart, except Madeline, that’s my other boss who I told you about, kept insisting it wasn’t. But like I said, I think it’s a cover up because she didn’t want us discussing Elaine’s business. Oh gosh!” Lydia slapped her hands over her mouth. “I just realized. I probably shouldn’t have said anything to you. You won’t tell on me, will you?”

Annette found Lydia’s revelations enlightening. Any other time she might have been aghast that an employee could be so unrestrained concerning her employer’s personal business, but since it worked to her advantaged here, she had no qualms about Lydia’s indiscretion. In fact, she encouraged it.

“Of course I won’t. It really is too bad though that you can’t sell this piece to me. My husband and I collect mermaid pieces, you see.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes,” she lied. Annette was determined to walk out of the store with this piece in hand. She needed to have the mermaid. “The tradition started on our wedding night when he gave me my very first mermaid as a wedding present. We’ve commemorated every anniversary since with a new mermaid. Our fortieth anniversary is coming up next week and, unfortunately, we haven’t been able to find anything to our liking anywhere.”

“That’s a beautiful and remarkable story,” Lydia gushed, ever the romantic. “I’d hate for you to disappoint your husband. It sounds like you have something really special there.”

Annette could see Lydia wavering and knew she was close. “This would be such a wonderful surprise for him. I know he’d love it as much as I do, and he’s all but given hope of finding something this year.”

“Hm. Well, I suppose I could sell it to you. I mean, Elaine never said it wasn’t for sale and she did put it on display herself. Also, Madeline did emphasize yesterday that it was just another stock piece. In fact, she went out of her way to say that it had nothing to do with Elaine breaking up with her ex-boyfriend. So maybe it doesn’t mean as much to Elaine as Mariah and I believed.”

“Do you really think it would be okay?”

“It won’t come cheap.”

“I’m prepared to pay any amount.”

Lydia looked the customer up and down, trying to assess her worth. “It’ll be $495.”

“Good thing I brought cash.”

“I don’t care how much she paid in cash!” Elaine continued furiously.

Lydia peered around Madeline. When she saw the storm raging across Elaine’s face, she whimpered and resumed cover behind Madeline’s back. Elaine had already been going for twenty straight minutes, ever since she’d come back to work that afternoon and discovered Lydia had sold her mermaid statue. Lydia wondered when, if ever, Elaine would stop yelling at her. Frankly, she was amazed Elaine hadn’t yet lost her voice.

“Well, even I must admit, $495 is nothing to sneeze at,” Madeline answered reasonably. For as long as Elaine had been hurling her invectives, Madeline had been trying to keep peace; in other words, keep Lydia alive.

“That’s not the point, Madeline, and you know it! She had no business – no business! – selling that statue. That statue was mine! Mine! I never said it was for sale, did I? No! She had no right. No right!”

“No, I know she didn’t. But you need to calm down, Elaine, and be reasonable about this.”

“Reasonable? I am being reasonable! I haven’t killed her yet, have I?”

Lydia’s renewed whimpering and tears only served to drive Elaine further through the roof. “Oh shut up, Lydia!”

Lydia was saved by the bell; the one over the door. Madeline quickly waved Lydia towards the new customers, to get her away from Elaine’s wrath. When Elaine would’ve said something, she hurriedly pointed her finger and then touched it to her lips. Nodding her head in the customers’ direction, she reached for Elaine and pushed her past them and out the door.

Outside, Elaine collapsed on one of the benches that lined the pier and overlooked the bay. Next to her, Madeline took her seat a little more carefully, certainly gingerly. “She didn’t know, Elaine.”

She brushed angrily at a tear. “I know.”

“In fact, I hope you won’t be mad when I tell you this, but Mariah and Lydia were so curious about why you made the piece that I actually made a point of telling them that there wasn’t anything of significance behind the mermaid, and that it was just another piece to be sold. That’s probably why, when she saw someone determined to have it, that she figured it would be okay to sell it. She actually made quite a sale.” Madeline couldn’t suppress how impressed she was with Lydia. “I doubt we would’ve priced it so high.”

“I’m not mad at her. I’m not mad at you either,” Elaine said eventually, her voice sounding on a croak.

“But you are upset.”

“Of course I am. But only at myself. It’s my own fault this happened. I know I made the piece, but I didn’t want to look at it afterwards. That’s why I left it here instead of taking it home with me. But the thing is, Madeline, I don’t know that I would’ve ever wanted to look at it. I just wasn’t able to part with it either. Perhaps it’s best this way.”

“Then what’s the matter?”

“I just wish I knew where it was.”

“Where did you get this?”

Will took off his reading glasses and looked up at his mother. He’d been eating his dinner while simultaneously looking over some medical journals when his mother had arrived, and now she stood before him, having just handed him the figurine he now held in his hand.

“Oh, that’s not important at the moment. But I did think you’d find the piece interesting,” Annette said, as she took the seat across from her son.

“Why?”

“I happened upon it this afternoon and it, I don’t know, reminded me of that story I used to tell you and your little sister all the time.”

“The Little Mermaid.”

“The very one.”

“She had to choose between two worlds.”

“Exactly.”

“Mother,” Will dragged out. He set the statue down on the coffee table and leaned back into the sofa. “I thought we already discussed this.”

“So we did.”

“And I told you where I stand on the matter.”

“I think you’re going to change your mind.”

“Why?”

“The clerk at the store, she told me it was made just this past weekend.”

“Okay? So?”

“Why don’t you look at the bottom of the statue, at the artist’s name?”

Will heaved himself forward on a sigh. He’d indulge his mother in this one whim before he ushered her out of his apartment and closed the door on the issue for good. But, when he lifted the statue and read its bottom as instructed, his reaction was far removed from that originally anticipated.

With astonishment, he stared at his mother. “It’s Elaine’s!”