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Chapter Six: Christmas

The only thing more picturesque than Pemberley in the winter, was Pemberley in the spring, when all the plants were in bloom. The way the house sat amongst the hills and trees was reminiscent of scene in a snow globe. Elizabeth had an idea of what to expect from Darcy's abode in Chicago and Jane's previous description, but it was evident even that had not done it justice. Pulling up to the house, Elizabeth let out an audible gasp, taking in the natural beauty of the estate. Darcy let a small smile escape his lips; Elizabeth had the same reaction as he had each time he arrived.

The party, consisting of all those who had resided at Pemberley over Thanksgiving, plus Elizabeth was greeted warmly by Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds and the rest of the staff two days before Christmas. The remainder of the residents, the Fitzwilliam relations, was to arrive Christmas Eve.

The guests were shown to their rooms by the household staff, except Elizabeth, who was shown to her room by Darcy. He had given Elizabeth a room generally reserved for family, claiming the adjourning sitting room, which he had turned into a fully functional office, would provide a quieter area where she could work if needed.

Despite his want for her undivided attention, he knew that would not be possible, and such constant access to her already threatened the work he needed to complete. Perhaps if she had to work, he could justify working as well.

After setting down her bags, she wrapped her arms around Darcy's neck. "You're wonderful," she murmured as she kissed him on the lips. Making sure the door was closed, Darcy took her into his arms and deepened the kiss. "I'm glad you are here," he whispered while burying his face in her hair. "This is but a small concession to make to have you close."

Elizabeth breathed her agreement and ran her fingers through Darcy's hair as their lips met once again. Her body seemed to melt into his, and her hands found their way under his sweater. His body shuddered at the intimate touch. After several minutes of passionate and wandering kisses, Elizabeth, very aware of her surroundings, pulled away. She gasped for breath and with her chest visibly heaving said, "I should get settled and join the others."

Darcy swallowed and nodded, but was not yet willing to let go of her. He leaned down and once again their lips touched. As the kisses once again began to deepen, he recalled his resolve not to push Elizabeth farther than she was willing to go. So, after a few more soft kisses, he reluctantly let go and left Elizabeth to unpack. Distraction indeed!

The following day, a long awaited black Cadillac traversed Pemberley's winding drive. One if its passengers, Peter Fitzwilliam, had his face was practically plastered to the car window trying to identify the two figures in front of the house that were throwing snowballs. "Is that Darcy?" The astonishment in his voice was evident.

Peter Fitzwilliam was Darcy's older cousin, and older brother to Richard. The two of them had never been close, despite being closer in age than Richard and Darcy. He was a reserved man, like all the Fitzwilliam family members except Richard. Peter took after his father, and thus stood to inherit Matlock Software, Inc. Unlike Darcy, Peter did everything that was expected of him. He married Christine, a socialite and daughter of a congressman, at the expected age of twenty-five. Christine was a petite, elegant creature that did not work, but served on all of the right social and charity boards and was the dutiful arm candy expected of his wife. During campaign season, she made all the right campaign appearances and said all the right things to the press. She had been groomed well by her mother and blossomed further under the dutiful eye of Margaret Fitzwilliam, Peter's mother.

Richard shifted in his seat to see what his older brother was looking at and laughed. "Looks like it. I don't know how she does it."

At that proclamation, the rest of the members of the car shifted their seats and strained their necks to see the spectacle. Margaret Fitzwilliam, Darcy's aunt, asked, "Who is she, Richard? That can't be Georgiana."

Chuckling as he watched Darcy peg Elizabeth with a snowball, Richard said absently, "Liz."

Margaret turned to her son, and with a hint of indignation asked, "Who is Liz?"

"Darcy's girlfriend." He replied matter of factly.

In unison, four voices cried, "Darcy's girlfriend?" Seeing the astonished faces staring at him, Richard laughed. "It's not my fault he hasn't informed you."

Peter Fitzwilliam, Senior tapped the horn, turning Elizabeth and Darcy's attention towards the oncoming car. Darcy jumped up and attempted to brush the snow off his coat, only to scream as Elizabeth put a handful of snow down his back. "I'm going to get you for that!" he hollered as Elizabeth gleefully ran towards the drive.

As the car came to a stop, the two approached it, brushing as much snow off as they could. Their hair and pants were soaked, and Darcy was squirming from the melted snow trickling down his back. "Aunt, Uncle, Peter, Christine, Richard, welcome! It's good to see you!" Darcy greeted.

Tentative familial hugs and handshakes were exchanged, despite the raised eyebrows Darcy received from his uncle and cousin Peter. Richard looked Darcy over after shaking his hand and chuckled. "You look worse for wear, Darcy."

Realizing his appearance, Darcy grabbed Elizabeth's hand, and said, "Let me help you with your things. We can do proper introductions in the drawing room."

Darcy led the family into the house, where Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds escorted the guests to their rooms. Richard and Elizabeth straggled behind laughing. "Quite the first impression, Liz."

Elizabeth quipped back, "William started it!"

Richard laughed. "Somehow I doubt that," adding, "Ready for the Fitzwilliam interrogation?" Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I suppose this is akin to meeting the family."

Richard grinned wickedly. "Worse. Darcy hasn't had a serious girlfriend in over six years." Elizabeth grumbled, then raising her chin with a steely look in her eye said, "Bring it on."

The Fitzwilliam family was all that was proper for a family of their status. Margaret was a self-poised woman that held high positions on many social boards, both of the political and charitable variety. Her primary concern was that her children, including Darcy and Georgiana to a lesser degree, conducted themselves in the manner befitting their station. Her favorite phrase, which she said frequently, was, 'The public is always watching, and waiting for you to screw up.'

When Darcy's mother died, she had taken on the maternal role as best she could for one living several states away. She determined it would be her responsibility to see Darcy well married, and that Georgiana became the upstanding citizen expected of a Darcy. She had insisted on Georgiana attending Julliard and had used her connections to ensure Georgiana's entrance. When Peter married, she ensured his wife was welcomed into the correct social committees and attended all of the proper functions. She had every intention of performing the same service for Darcy's wife.

Therefore, her two complaints in life were Richard's women and Darcy's decision to break things off with his last girlfriend, leaving him over thirty and still unmarried. Both of them, as far as she was concerned, needed to settle down with a proper wife.

Peter Fitzwilliam, Senior, Darcy's uncle, was a little less concerned with public opinion; though he knew better than to embarrass his wife in any manner. In general, he had not complaints in life. He was CEO of Matlock Software located in Minneapolis, Minnesota, and for the most part had a good relationship with Darcy. The similarities in their station allowed them to connect on more than just a familial level. He guided Darcy when requested, and took the role of a backseat father when Darcy's father had passed, providing guidance when he felt it was required. The two often shared 'war' stories where they could, though being in two very different industries could not always compare notes. Peter served on Darcy's board of directors and Darcy served on his.

Peter, Senior's relationship with Richard was different. He watched Richard with some amusement. Like any father in his position, he wished Richard would have shared the responsibilities of the company with his brother, but could not complain with his success in the military. However, with so little in common, their relationship was a bit more formal than one might expect.

A half hour later, everyone reassembled in the drawing room with a tray of tea, coffee, and hot chocolate, along with cookies and biscuits. A drier and warmer Darcy played the perfect host and introduced Elizabeth to his Aunt Margaret, Uncle Peter, Cousin Peter, and Peter's wife.

Elizabeth did not fail to notice the briefly upraised eyebrows of Margaret and Christine as they appraised her. And so it begins! As Darcy moved on to perform other introductions, Elizabeth took a moment to examine her appearance, wondering what had caused such censure from the two women. She could only surmise her blue jeans and sweater was too much of a contrast to their dress slacks and silk blouses. She groaned to herself as Darcy's wardrobe suddenly started to make sense. She wagered the only Fitzwilliam that owned a pair of blue jeans was Richard. If her choice of clothing caused this much censure, she was in for a long weekend.

The group settled into easy conversation, primarily consisting of the relatives catching up on events and family news. Elizabeth observed, with some amusement, how easily Caroline had entered into conversation with Margaret and Christine. It must be the silk blouses! The three ladies were amusing one another to the exclusion of the rest of the group, including Georgiana. She looked at James who was dutifully sitting quietly next to Georgiana staring at the floor, much like herself. At least she wasn't the only one who felt out of place.

Elizabeth politely listened to the conversation between Darcy, Richard, Darcy's uncle, and cousin Peter, wishing she could join Jane and Charles' conversation. Unfortunately, Darcy's firm grip on her hand would have made any departure awkward. She looked over at Jane with envy. Jane was quietly talking with her boyfriend, with no other care but him. She had no one to impress or from whom she wanted gain approval. Elizabeth glanced down at her hand and smiled to herself as she realized, based on his grip, Darcy was also nervous.

The mugs had grown cold and the tea bitter when Darcy suggested a game of pool. As expected, everyone declined except Richard. The other Fitzwilliams decided a nap or more relaxing activities were in order after a long drive. Elizabeth excused herself for her office; Jane, Charles, Caroline, Georgiana, and James were engaged otherwise.

In the billiard room, Darcy poured glasses of brandy as Richard racked the pool balls for a game. "Mother and Father were none to happy you didn't tell them about Liz sooner," Richard said, watching Darcy line up his first shot.

Darcy shrugged, knowing he really meant just his aunt. "There isn't much to tell."

Richard objected. "You've been dating for a couple months." He raised his glass of brandy towards Darcy and added with a smirk, "I have to say, I like this new Darcy."

Automatically, Darcy returned the gesture. Then, realizing what Richard had said, bristled. "The new Darcy?"

Richard laughed and took a shot, sinking a striped ball. "Darce, do you remember what you looked like when we arrived?"

Darcy groaned, recalling the disapproving and inquisitive look from his uncle and aunt, "I guess I was a little disheveled." he muttered.

Richard stood from the shot he was about to make and let out a hearty laugh. "Disheveled? Your hair was dripping wet, your pants were soaked, and your coat was practically white from snow." He continued, "When is the last time you played in the snow like that?"

Darcy heaved a sigh, realizing his cousin was right. "Years." He mumbled. "Not since Gina was young."

Richard lined up for his shot once again, this time missing. He stood aside and observed his cousin as Darcy studied the pool table. There was the tiniest smile pulling at the corner of Darcy's lips, and his usual serious brow appeared relaxed. "Are you still going to say there isn't much to tell?" Richard asked over his glass of brandy.

After making his last shot, Darcy chuckled and responded smugly, "A gentleman never tells." He then proceeded to line up his cue stick for another shot, which allowed him to stall just a few more minutes. What was there to tell when he himself didn't understand it? Him playing in the snow? And in his good shoes and coat, no less! The two had walked out on the veranda to wait for the expected guests. He had watched as Elizabeth tentatively walked in the snow, examining with pleasure the footprints she left behind. He remembered laughing as she flopped in the snow. Something about the snow surrounding her prone form enticed him to move closer. The next thing he knew, he was hovering over her and she had hit him in the shoulder with a snowball. Laughing, she scampered away; goading him into chasing her in retribution. After that, there was no stopping the barrage of snowballs and handfuls of snow thrown at each other.

Darcy felt himself flush as he remembered the way she looked up at him after he had managed to stop her onslaught by tackling her; her eyes sparkling with laughter, her cheeks rosy pink from the cold. Had she not broken the moment with a handful of snow, he was certain ungentlemanly acts would have ensued.

"I'm ready to resort to physical persuasion, Darce," Richard replied, interrupting his reverie. He leaned menacingly over the table.

Darcy haphazardly took a shot, attempting to cover up his delay. Surprisingly he sunk one of the solid balls. He held his hands up in surrender, but was unable to stop the broad smile. He could only pray his face did not look as flushed as he felt. "There's not much to tell. We've gone out a few times; she attended most of the charity dinners with me this season. We don't make demands on each other; we spend time together when we can because we want to, not because we feel obligated to. It's a great relationship." Feeling a little more sanguine, having given an honest answer, but able to hide the depth and complexity of his true emotions, he lined up for another shot.

"Do you love her?" Richard asked casually, catching Darcy off guard. Darcy's shot went awry as his eyes shot up to meet a serious looking Richard.

"L-Love her? I... I... don't know." Darcy stammered. Affection? Certainly. Desire? Undoubtedly! But love? He took a larger swig of his brandy than intended. He was grateful for the burning sensation that helped him keep his equanimity. He was not ready for another Thanksgiving with Richard. He had been in far less control of himself then; and only recently felt comfortable with the little control he did maintain. He knew the wall was thin, and Richard was already making good progress chipping it away.

After a few minutes of silence, Richard said without a trace of sarcasm, "You must be pretty serious about her if you invited her to Pemberley. The only woman you ever invited to Pemberley was Sylvia, and that was after you were dating for two years."

Darcy looked Richard in the face; his defenses fully compromised. Damn! Sounding both resigned and confused, he said, "I don't know. She's unlike anyone I've ever met, but neither of us is ready to talk about serious dating, engagements, or marriage. It just seemed right when I invited her."

Richard shook his head at the tumult of emotions that had crossed Darcy's face. "So Chicago's most sought after bachelor is off the market."

Christmas Eve dinner was a formal affair. The women dressed in evening gowns; the men in formal wear. As Elizabeth entered the dining room, the Fitzwilliams watched her with curiosity, as Richard had warned her they would. She had decided she needed to make up some lost ground after the initial meeting, and therefore put her best foot forward. She pretended she was at one of the benefit functions and dressed and acted accordingly.

To the Fitzwilliams, Darcy's affections for Elizabeth were obvious. He never missed an opportunity to hold her hand or touch her in some affectionate manner. His protective streak even peeked out. They were also aware of her friendship with Richard, though this had no bearing on their appraisal of her.

Of Elizabeth's affections towards Darcy, they were uncertain. She had always returned his affections, but seemed to hesitate. She was never the one the one to initiate contact either. Of course, they were pleased to see Darcy taking an interest in someone, but there were some things yet to be reconciled, specifically her relationship with Richard. The way in which the spoke to each other with confidence, and the way Richard abdicated his attention of Elizabeth at the slightest suggestion from Darcy was a bit confusing. Most of all, they had not expected a friend of Richard's to capture Darcy's attention. Nor had they expected such a relationship to go along so amiably.

This was the state of things when the family was seated for dinner. Darcy sat at the head of the table, Georgiana at the other, playing hostess. Elizabeth was on one side of Darcy and Richard, the other. Margaret Fitzwilliam sat next to Richard, across from her husband, followed by Peter and Christine. At the other end of the table, Jane sat on one side of Georgiana, Charles on the other. Caroline sat between Charles and Christine.

Darcy's uncle opened the conversation. "Miss Bennet, I understand you are from Milwaukee." Elizabeth smiled and nodded. "I am. My father is a commercial farmer and owns a farm outside the city."

Peter Fitzwilliam nodded in acceptance, though both Darcy and Richard were happy Elizabeth did not see the roll of eyes by Margaret and Christine. Nor did she see Caroline's cat-like grin; she was clearly overjoyed at the scene playing out before her.

Ignoring his wife's looks, Peter Fitzwilliam, Senior inquired, "Richard also tells me that you're Vice President of Operations for Longbourn."

Elizabeth smiled pleasantly. "Yes sir, but I only oversee their Midwest Operations."

"And I understand you do some charity work at the VA hospital with Richard." Margaret added. After Elizabeth's nod, Margaret asked, "What other committees have you joined?"

Uncertain of the question's intent, Elizabeth answered honestly. "Between work and the hospital, I don't have time for much else."

Margaret nodded, pursing her lips. "And what of your mother?"

Elizabeth creased her brow in confusion. She wasn't sure what her mother had to do with her as a person or her relationship with Darcy. "My mother stays at home and helps on the farm."

"Of course. But with what charities or committees is she involved? Surely she does more than run the house."

"She used to serve on the PTA when my sisters and I were in school. Outside of that, as far as I know, none." Elizabeth answered defiantly.

Margaret nodded, but she was clearly displeased. "I don't suppose your father involves himself much off the farm either." She said disdainfully.

"Not to my knowledge. Upkeep of the farm keeps him very busy." Elizabeth could see the thoughts flying through his aunt's mind. She clearly did not approve of her parents, and thus would not approve of her.

"You mentioned your mother served on the PTA for your school. What schools did you attend?"

Sarcastically Elizabeth answered. "For K-12, I attended Milwaukee's best public school."

Before Elizabeth could continue, Margaret gave Christine a knowing look and said, "Public school?"

Elizabeth's ire ignited; as if it mattered where she went to high school. "Yes, public school." She said proudly. "Since then, I then attended University of Wisconsin for my bachelors and Northwestern for my MBA."

Margaret sniffed lightly. "Not Harvard or Wharton?"

Elizabeth took a slow, calming breath. She glanced at Darcy for a moment and then responded, "I paid for school myself, and therefore had to work my way through. Attending Harvard or Wharton while working for Longbourn would have been quite impossible. "

Darcy interjected. "Aunt, Kellogg School of Business is a top five MBA program."

Aunt Margaret ignored Darcy's comment. "Your parents must be pleased to see you dating such a wealthy man."

Elizabeth fumed and said nothing for a moment. She was uncertain how to answer since the truth was her parents did not know about Darcy; but she knew what her mother's reaction would be if she did. This was not something she wanted to discuss now. She was saved from saying anything when Margaret continued. "What of your other siblings?"

"You've met my sister, Jane." She nodded towards the other end of the table. "She is the head nurse at St. Lawrence." she said proudly. "My other sisters remain at home."

Again, Margaret and Christine exchanged looks. Elizabeth was further dismayed when she noted the way Christine looked at Caroline immediately afterwards. Was it possible Caroline had already poisoned them against her? She took another silent deep breath, hoping the interview was over. It was not.

"What are your future plans, Miss Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth had had enough. It was obvious the Fitzwilliams did not approve of her plebian background. She looked to Darcy for a moment and then to Richard. She had expected some polite questions, but this was more like the Spanish inquisition. They were not even attempting to get to know her. They were judging her solely on what schools she attended and her social connections. She would play the socialite to a point, but she was not about to cow-tow to them. With a fiery spark in her eye, Elizabeth responded, "I have a couple key projects in my Medical Devices division that are showing promise. If all goes well, in about three years, I should be able to make my bid for COO of the company. On the other hand, it would be easier to simply marry William and serve on social committees for the rest of my life." With that, she excused herself from the table and stalked off. Over the distinct sound of heeled shoes hitting the marble floors, she heard the audible, indignant gasps from whom she suspected were Margaret and Christine, and perhaps Caroline.

Darcy's and Richard's eyes went wide. They looked at each other for a moment and then took in the astonished looks from around the table. Richard kicked Darcy soundly under the table bringing him back from his stunned stupor. After giving Richard a grimacing glare, he rose to go after Elizabeth. At the same time, Jane stood from the table and said softly, "Darcy, stay. I'll go speak with her."

Darcy hesitantly sat down and watched Jane leave the room, noticing Charles' eyes following her in concern. The room was deadly silent for several minutes, not even the sound of servants. Finally Caroline broke the silence. "I have never heard such impertinence!" she balked. Margaret voiced her agreement and gradually the din of conversation returned to the room.

Darcy sat quietly at the end of the table, rubbing his forehead with one of his hands. The dinner could not have gone worse, save for a glass of wine being thrown in someone's face - and if certain people didn't silence their remarks soon, that would be coming. He wasn't sure who he was angry at; his aunt for her insults and insinuations or Elizabeth for firing back in such a tactless manner. He knew his aunt had always been judgmental, but Elizabeth's response hadn't helped. Her tongue had always been quick and he loved her for it, but her let downs had always been tactful and humored.

As Darcy sat quietly brooding, and after conversation had resumed to its normal level, Caroline motioned for the assistance of a servant. She picked up her plate and moved to occupy the seat Elizabeth originally occupied, the seat next to Darcy. Richard and Darcy watched this incredulously. They were even more astounded when Margaret, who was always the pinnacle of propriety, seemed indifferent to the audacious manners, and continued speaking with Caroline as if there had been no disruption.

"Margaret, did I tell you about my trip to Europe this past summer?" Caroline drawled. Darcy's aunt smiled, "No you didn't, dear. Did you spend time in London?"

Caroline smiled smugly. "I did." Placing her hand gently on Darcy's arm she simpered, "Will was kind enough to let me use his flat."

When Darcy saw his aunt smile at Caroline's hand resting on his arm, he had had enough. His aunt was clearly making a statement; one that was not her place to make, and one he did not appreciate. He brusquely removed Caroline's hand and stood. "Excuse me," he said to the members of the table. He looked pointedly at Caroline and said, "I have lost my appetite." With that, he left the table. As he was leaving he heard his aunt speaking indignantly, but he neither heard nor cared what she had to say.

Elizabeth paced angrily in her room. Her face was flushed and her hands moved wildly as she spoke. Jane sat quietly on the bed letting her vent, occasionally nodding in agreement or saying something soothing.

"This is impossible!" Elizabeth exclaimed. "It was bad enough I had to suffer all the snide comments and accusations during the benefits; but here too?" She huffed. "They don't even know me; and just because I grew up on a farm I'm a worthless gold digger!"

"That's all I heard this season, you know. 'How did you manage to catch him?' and 'You are so very lucky to have caught him.'" Turning to Jane she yelled, "I wasn't trying to catch him! Why is it everyone thinks I am the lucky one?" she ranted. "Maybe he is the lucky one." she suggested vehemently.

"I would have to agree with you." A deep voice from the doorway said.

Jane and Elizabeth both whirled to see Darcy casually leaning against the frame of the door. Elizabeth bashfully turned bright red and dropped her head in her hands. Jane blushed, feeling for Elizabeth, then scurried out of the door, leaving the couple alone.

Elizabeth sat on the edge of the bed, hanging her head. "I'm sorry, William. I snapped. I shouldn't have." Darcy smirked and entered the room, closing the door behind him. "Have I ever mentioned how beautiful you are when you're angry?" he said, making his way over to her.

Elizabeth let out an exasperated breath. He was being incredibly charming and had effectively diffused the bulk of her anger. Now all that was left was resignation. They were simply from two different worlds, and she was obviously not going to be accepted into his. As she learned at Charlotte's party, he would always be gawked at in hers. She had never thought social differences would be the cause, but it was as good a reason as any for why they should never have started dating. "William, this isn't going to work." In a resigned voice she continued, "We knew this was insane from the beginning. We were just fooling ourselves." Pulling her suitcase out of the closet she said, "I'll have Richard drive me to airport tomorrow and I'll go home. Then you can salvage whatever you can of Christmas with your family."

Darcy stood in the middle of the room watching and listening to her, dumbstruck. He couldn't believe his ears, but the vice-like grip on his heart told him he had heard her. She was leaving, and not just Pemberley! She was ending the relationship. "Elizabeth!" he barked with more of an edge than he intended. Elizabeth paused for a minute and sighed audibly. "It's all right, William." She headed back to the bed, suitcase in hand.

Grabbing the suitcase from her, William said firmly. "No, it is not all right!"

Elizabeth took a deep breath and swallowed, realizing tears were beginning to build in her throat. "William..."

Darcy threw the suitcase towards the closet and wrapped his arms tightly around her. In a softer voice he said, "It is not all right. I want you here." Elizabeth stood rigidly in his arms and attempted to protest, but Darcy silenced her, hugging her tighter. "I don't care what they think. I want you here. Promise me you'll stay."

It took several minutes, but Elizabeth capitulated; her acquiescence was marked by a relaxation in her rigid form. She leaned her forehead against his chest, put her arms around his waist, and let a few tears fall to the floor. After several minutes of letting the strength of his arms calm and sooth her battered ego, she murmured, "I'll stay."

Darcy let out a sigh of relief and placed a kiss on her head. He walked them over to the bed and sat down on its edge, pulling her into his lap. They sat in contented silence for a long time. At present, all they wanted was to be with each other and not think about what lay beyond the door.

Finally, Darcy broke the silence with a soft rueful laugh. "Did you have to be so blunt in your let down?" Elizabeth pulled away in anger. Was he really taking his aunt's side? Then, seeing the tender look in his eye she knew he wasn't, and she hung her head in regret. "I'm sorry, William. I'll apologize."

Darcy pulled her against his chest again. "No need to. Aunt Margaret would prefer to pretend it never happened, and I'll talk to my uncle."

After a few more minutes of silence, Darcy asked gently, "The others are probably in the drawing room, will you return with me?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes in consternation. In his arms, everything seemed so much simpler. There was no need for placating or putting up fronts of strength. Drawing from the comfort of his arms, she answered honestly. "I don't think my ego can take anymore battering tonight. If you don't mind, I think I'd prefer to get some work done and then retire for the evening."

Darcy nodded, not yet willing to let her go. "Will you be all right?" Elizabeth looked up and met his eyes. "I will be now." She gave him a long heartfelt kiss on the lips. "Thank you." she whispered just audibly.

Darcy shuffled his feet through the dimly lit room to place the last of Elizabeth's Christmas gifts under the tree. He smiled at the small package, imagining the look on Elizabeth's face when she opened it. Suddenly, his foot caught on a dark mass lying on the floor. He dropped the gift to avoid falling flat on his face. It wasn't until the mass said "ouch" and moved that he realized it was a person; it was Elizabeth.

Sitting up, she realized what had happened. Darcy crawled to her side. "Elizabeth, what are you doing here?"

Cheekily, she responded. "You invited me."

Darcy laughed lightly and moved his face closer to her. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

Elizabeth rubbed the last of the sleep from her eyes. "I'm fine. I must have fallen asleep." Darcy kissed her head. "Apparently. But why are you here?"

Sidling up next to his warm body, and resting her head against his arm she said, "I do this every year." Adding quickly, "Well, I haven't fallen asleep since I was young."

Darcy wrapped an arm around her, pulling her close to him. "Do what every year?"

Elizabeth nestled in close to him, enjoying his warmth that was now seeping into her. "Watch the Christmas lights. Every year after everyone goes to bed; I sit in front of the Christmas tree and watch the lights. When I was young, my dad would find me asleep in front of the tree on Christmas morning." She chuckled softly at the warm memory. "Dad used to say it was 'cause I was afraid my sisters would steal my presents."

Unexpectedly, Darcy stood. "Where are you going?" Elizabeth asked, immediately feeling the loss of her heat source. With a wry smile, Darcy said, "Stay here."

Elizabeth patiently waited, once again mesmerized by the lights of the tree.

A few moments later, Darcy returned with a large blanket. He wrapped it around the two of them, and together they watched the lights of the Christmas tree fade from red to blue to green to yellow. It was serene. Darcy was surprised how enjoyable such a simple thing could be, though offhandedly thought the company may have something to do with it. Then again, he should not have been too surprised; Elizabeth had introduced to him to a number of simple pleasures in their short relationship.

Breaking the silence, Elizabeth asked with a distinctive arch in her voice. "Now that you know what I was doing here, what were you doing? Trying to sneak a peek at your Christmas presents?"

Darcy looked down at her, and with a soft look that was enhanced by the glow of the Christmas tree said, "I have everything I want for Christmas right here." Elizabeth was happy for the dim light, which hid the full extent of the blush that suffused her cheeks, and she had to look away. When she looked up again and met Darcy's eyes, they were filled with a tenderness she had never seen in them.

He claimed her lips firmly with his own. Without hesitation, her body melted into his as she returned the kiss. Without prompting, her lips parted, allowing his tongue free reign of her mouth. She began breathing heavily as the warmth of his body and the caresses of his hands possessed her. The blanket was soon abandoned as her hands moved of their own volition, exploring the softness of his hair and the muscular form of his chest and shoulders.

Her kisses were intoxicating and her touch exquisite. Without even realizing what he was doing, he moved them until they were lying on the floor. It wasn't until he heard a faint cry, that Darcy had any intention of stopping the exhilarating actions. At her cry, he pulled back from her, chest heaving, to determine the cause of her whimper. A quick search of the area revealed a small box, the one he meant to put under the Christmas tree.

The moment was broken. Darcy silently cursed the box; aloud he said, "I was trying to put this under the tree for you."

Looking up at him like a child, her eyes bright and sparkling, she asked, "May I open it now?" Darcy laughed at her childlike behavior, but was thoroughly enjoying it. It was refreshing to see an adult with such eagerness. It made the prospect of showering her with gifts all the more pleasant.

"Go ahead." he said. Elizabeth examined the gift carefully, then unexpectedly set it down and crawled towards the tree. Darcy watched her with a lusty intensity, as her short nightshirt revealed more than she had intended. As she shuffled through the gifts under the tree, Darcy fought valiantly to push thoughts of making love to her under the Christmas tree out of his mind and suppressed the groan building in his chest. His control was slipping. She was practically prostrate under the tree, her nightshirt riding up even further as she reached for a gift. Good God, how much could a man be expected to resist? As he felt ready to burst and the last of his control slip, she turned to face him.

Unaware of the tempting picture she had placed in front of him, she returned with a small collection of presents. "It's only fair." she said in way of explanation, adding childishly, "But I get to go first."

Darcy stared at her with a dark intensity, willing his heaving chest to relax. He swallowed and nodded his agreement, not trusting his voice. If she kissed him, or even touched him, he would not be responsible for his actions. He focused on watching Elizabeth's reaction to her gift, while regaining control over his trembling body.

Elizabeth was all too aware of Darcy's arousal; though of the cause she was less certain. She was sitting close enough to feel more than one of his heated breaths. Despite her own body's yearnings, she was not ready for anything more and was grateful for the distraction the gifts provided. She let herself become enraptured in the prettily wrapped packages, forcing Darcy to as well.

The two exchanged gifts that night, alone, by the glow of the Christmas tree. Her eyes lit up at seeing the small string of pearls that were very similar to the ones she had seen the other day at the coffee shop. In addition to the string of pearls, Elizabeth received a pair of matching pearl earrings, and an autographed copy of a book by one of her favorite authors, Ayn Rand. Elizabeth gave Darcy two pairs of jeans and two t-shirts, a pair of cashmere lined gloves, and an antique hand carved fountain pen.

The heated moment was gone, but Darcy was quite certain he would be revisiting it later that night, even if he was alone. Despite his disappointment that things hadn't progressed to the point he would have liked, he was thankful for the private moment they shared. It somehow meant more to both of them to share this first Christmas together, and alone. Tomorrow there would be more presents with the other members of the family, but they had had their Christmas.

Reluctantly, just after midnight, Darcy escorted Elizabeth to her room, leaving her with a lingering kiss. "Goodnight." he said in a husky voice. He watched longingly as the door to her room closed behind her. He stood there for a moment, unable to move away. Finally, he made his way to his cold bed, where visions of her would plague his dreams.

Christmas breakfast began awkwardly. Silent looks were exchanged, but nothing was said about dinner the previous evening. Before long, people acted as though nothing untoward had occurred, though certain interactions were evidently terse, but polite.

After breakfast, gifts were exchanged. For Georgiana, Elizabeth had purchased a hand woven silk scarf and a hand painted porcelain figurine of a young girl with a harp. Georgiana thanked Elizabeth for the gifts, blushing, as she had nothing to give in return. Elizabeth quickly assured her that was none expected nor needed.

For Richard, Elizabeth purchased the book, 'How to be a Gentleman', by John Bridges, which was received with the humor in which it was given. In return, Richard gave her the book, 'Mr. Right, Right Now,' by E. Jean Carroll. The two explained to the quizzical looks of the room, these types of books have been an ongoing joke between the two since early in their friendship; Richard was determined to get Elizabeth dating, and Elizabeth was determined to get Richard to settle on a single woman. Darcy drolly congratulated Richard on achieving his goal, adding his belief that Elizabeth's goal was hopeless.

Later that afternoon, Darcy quietly stepped into the music room. He had heard the music in the hall and knew it to be Georgiana practicing. He had always enjoyed listening to her practice when she lived with him, and had done so with regularity. Now that she lived in New York, it was a rare treat, one that he was not going to pass up. He found the time relaxing, and despite Georgiana's outward protests, Darcy correctly suspected she actually enjoyed the attention. When her piece ended, Darcy clapped, causing Georgiana to blush slightly.

"William! I didn't hear you come in." She said happily.

"I haven't heard that piece before, your own composition?"

Georgiana shook her head. "No. It was written by an instructor at school."

Darcy took a seat on a settee closer to the piano. "Will you play another one for me?"

Georgiana looked around and noticed Elizabeth was not with him. "Haven't you got better things to entertain you these days?" she asked in a snippy voice.

Darcy was taken aback. She had never used that tone with him before, and she knew how much he enjoyed hearing her play. Eyeing his sister carefully, he said, "Have I been neglecting you?"

Georgiana cast her eyes downward. "No." she said quietly.

"You do not approve of Elizabeth then." his irritation starting to build.

Georgiana looked down at the piano and began playing a soft tune from memory, but did not answer.

"Gina!" Darcy said more sternly. "She doesn't deserve you, William." Georgiana shot back. "She's overly friendly with Richard; and in front of you no less!"

Darcy took a slow, deep calming breath. "I see." He said. Apparently, his sister needed an explanation of their relationship. "Elizabeth and Richard are very good friends and have been long before I met Elizabeth. I have spoken to each of them about it and they have given me their assurances they are only friends. They have never dated, nor do they want to."

"And you believe them?" She asked incredulously, not believing her brother could be so blind.

"I do." Darcy said firmly. "Elizabeth told me Richard had asked her out, but she refused. Richard confirmed the story." Georgiana giggled at hearing Richard had been refused. She knew Richard had dated many women and couldn't imagine anyone turning him down. Darcy added, "Their affection for each other is nothing more than that of a brother and sister. I have watched them and believe that to be the case."

Georgiana nodded slowly, not quite ready to believe her brother. Smugly she said, "Aunt Margaret does not like her." Darcy fixed his eyes pointedly on his sister and he said icily, "Aunt Margaret decided she was a gold-digger the minute she saw her. If it were up to her, I would be married to that harpy, Caroline Bingley."

Georgiana looked at her brother wide-eyed. He had never used that tone with her before. He was clearly angry with their aunt, and the revelation of his true feelings towards Caroline was shocking. Georgiana knew her brother harbored no romantic feelings for Caroline, but to call her a harpy was quite a different matter!

Running out of reasons, and realizing she was treading on thin ice, Georgiana said quietly, "If you had to date someone like Elizabeth, it should be Jane. Jane is more soft-spoken and more your type."

Darcy's eyes went wide. Someone like Elizabeth? What was that supposed to mean? Then again, he realized he didn't want to know. This was unbelievable! He couldn't believe what he was hearing from his sister. Clearly, she had been far too influenced by Caroline and his aunt, something he would have to remedy. Then with a sinking feeling, he realized she was a reflection of him. He had had similar thoughts about both Jane and Elizabeth before he got to know them. If he was honest with himself, had it not been for Charles constantly throwing him and Elizabeth together, he would not have given her a second look. That, however, did not mean he was right then, nor that Georgiana was right now.

In a tone softened by understanding, he said, "Gina, I've been dating soft-spoken women our aunt approved of all my life. I admit, Elizabeth has taken me by surprise more than once, but having gotten to know her, I find her liveliness very endearing." Georgiana frowned, unconvinced. Darcy added, "She is refreshing. She enjoys life, all aspects of it; something we have forgotten how to do." Georgiana's creased brow told Darcy she remained unconvinced, so he continued. "Gina, it may take some time for you to get used to her, but I think if you spent some time getting to know Elizabeth, you would find the type of friend you have always wanted; someone who likes you for who you are, unlike Caroline, who only dotes on you to try and win my approval and hand in marriage."

Georgiana nodded thoughtfully. She knew her brother was very selective in his choice of friends, and she rarely second-guessed him. It wasn't that she particularly cared for Caroline, but Caroline was one of the only friends she had, and Aunt Margaret approved of her. "Does she mean that much to you?" Georgiana asked tentatively.

Darcy smiled and nodded. "I have never met anyone like her, and I really like her."

Georgiana teased him, a smile creeping across her face. "I must admit, I have never seen you so smitten by someone."

Darcy rolled his eyes and grumbled, "So I am told."

For Georgiana, her brother's approval of her meant more to her than anything, including her aunt's good opinion. "I will try and get to know her, William, if she means that much to you." Georgiana said in resignation.

Christmas dinner was also a formal affair per tradition. Dinner was announced promptly at six. The women were all dressed in formal attire, Elizabeth wearing an elegant dark green gown she had worn to a previous evening with Darcy. Dinner went on without issue this time, conversation purposefully being kept to superficial observances and inane topics.

After dinner, they all adjourned to the drawing room where Georgiana played the piano at her aunt's insistence. After she had completed a couple songs, Margaret turned to Elizabeth and asked, "Miss Bennet, do you play an instrument?"

Elizabeth smiled politely, though a little on edge. "Please, call me Elizabeth or Lizzy. I am only an appreciator; I do not play an instrument."

Much to Elizabeth's dismay, Jane interjected. "She might not play an instrument, but she sings wonderfully." Elizabeth threw Jane an icy glare, ignoring the curious look from Darcy. Unfortunately, Richard decided to add his opinion to the conversation, saying, "Jane is correct, she sang once at the hospital's children's Christmas party. She's quite good."

Elizabeth threw Richard a look that promised retribution, but there was no avoiding it now. One more thing for them to hold against me.

Darcy felt a pang of jealousy at Richard's comment. He had long accepted Elizabeth's friendship with him, but the idea that he knew so much more about her bothered him at times. He wanted to be the one to know all of Elizabeth's secrets. In time, he told himself, pushing the petulant thoughts out of his mind. He further prodded Elizabeth until she agreed, but only if Georgiana would play.

Georgiana agreed to the arrangement with more enthusiasm than expected, enjoying this new connection she had with her brother's girlfriend. Looking over the music together, they selected The Music of the Night from Phantom of the Opera.

Darcy eagerly listened. He hadn't suspected Elizabeth to be musically inclined, but as her melodic laugh echoed briefly in his ears, he could imagine her to have a magnificent singing voice. As the two began, their audience was not at all disappointed. Elizabeth's voice rang pleasantly through the room, mesmerizing the audience, especially Darcy. He pictured long evenings relaxing on a sofa listening to the two of them. The picture stirred something deep inside.

Elizabeth looked over the room as she sang; she locked gazes with Darcy for a moment, which caused her voice to hitch slightly. Darcy's look was warm and tender and caused an unexpected flutter in stomach. After that, she studiously looked at the music sheet in front of her. When the song was over, Elizabeth blushed slightly at the applause, took a perfunctory bow, and returned to her seat next to Darcy. Whether the applause or praise she received from the others was sincere, she did not know, nor did she care.

She sat shivering on the dock, wrapped in a blanket. The soft din of the on-looking crowd filled the air, while flashes of blue and red beams of light from the rescue vehicles illuminated the area.

Suddenly she heard, "We've got him!" and her heart jumped into her throat. The following screaming cry of anguish and told her he was dead. Her body froze as her mind tried to comprehend what had happened. She started trembling and shaking, and then tears broke through and wouldn't stop.

A few days later, she was at a cemetery; before her laid a black casket with a large arrangement of white calla lilies on top. Elizabeth sat in the front row in her black dress, an unending stream of tears making tracks down her cheeks. Next to her sat members of his family. As she was preparing to leave, she was stopped by a woman's voice. "Lizzy, we found this in his room. I know he wanted you to have it."

Elizabeth bolted upright taking in her surroundings. A four-poster bed, fireplace, ornate dresser. She blinked a few times, not recognizing the place, and then she remembered she was at Pemberley. It was a dream. She rubbed her face, finding her cheeks wet with tears. She dried her cheeks and put on her robe and sat by the dying fire for a while. She silently cursed. That dream was supposed to be long gone. She hadn't had it for at least two years. Why was it coming back to her now? When she felt fatigue overtaking her once again, she returned to bed, hoping for a dreamless slumber.

The following day, Elizabeth entered the library in search of something to read. She was startled at finding Richard stretched out on one of the couches.

"Never expected to find you in here." Elizabeth teased.

"I'm hiding." Richard threw back, causing Elizabeth to laugh.

"Well, whoever you're hiding from, certainly won't find you." Elizabeth searched the books, and finding an interesting, but not terribly taxing one, sat down to read it. She had not even finished the first page when she felt Richard staring at her. At first, she tried to ignore it, but she was unsuccessful. "What is it Cas?"

He smirked. "Nothing. Just wanted to say I'm really happy for you and Darcy. I've never seen either one of you happier," said Richard.

Elizabeth looked down at her book to keep from blushing. "Thanks."

"So, how serious are things with you and Darcy?" he asked hesitantly.

Elizabeth shrugged and put down the book, realizing she wasn't going to get any reading accomplished. Trying to avoid answering the question, she said saucily, "I'm getting the impression that you have been waiting here in ambush, rather than hiding."

Richard shrugged. "A definite benefit to my choice of hiding places. But you haven't answered my question. How serious are things?"

Elizabeth grumbled. Richard's days of interrogating young soldiers had always made it difficult to avoid topics of discussion that had piqued his curiosity. "What do you mean?"

Leaning back on the couch, Richard said, "I'm just looking out for the both of you."

Evenly Elizabeth said. "Cas, we're both adults, we know what we're doing."

Feeling the tension starting to build, Richard attempted to diffuse it. "Oh good, I get concerned when I notice you two disappearing for an hour at a time."

Elizabeth blushed severely. "Get your mind out of the gutter, Cas! Your cousin is a perfect gentleman."

Richard shook his head. "I'm sorry to hear that. Want me to talk to him about that?" he said with a suggestive wink.

Elizabeth's retreating blush returned in full force. "Cas!"

Richard laughed heartily. "Damn, if I knew it was going to be this entertaining, I would have set you two up a long time ago!" The glare he received in response, only made him laugh harder. After his laughter finally subsided, Richard asked, "Seriously Liz, what's up?"

Elizabeth shrugged. "I don't know what to tell you. We enjoy being with each other, but we're just letting things progress naturally, see where it takes it us."

Richard sat upright and leaned toward Elizabeth. "You are dating William Darcy right? Darcy doesn't believe in the wait and see approach."

"Well, he does when it comes to us." Elizabeth said defensively.

Richard conceded, not wanting to upset her. "I'm just being a concerned friend. I love you both and don't want to see either of you hurt. You think about things, especially relationships, way too much; and Darcy doesn't do anything half way, including love. There's just a potential for one, or both of you, to really get hurt."

"There's the potential for it to be something really great too. Both of us understand that about each other, which is why we're taking things slow." Elizabeth shot back.

Richard held up his hands in surrender. "Okay."

Elizabeth waggled her head, knowing Richard was only looking out for her. Not wanting to cause a rift she said, "Thanks Cas."

It was late the following night, and Darcy was about to turn in, when he noticed light peeking out from under Elizabeth's door. This brought more pleasing alternatives to mind. He knocked lightly on the ornate wooden door.

Elizabeth opened it, and a warm smile crept across her face when she discovered the caller.

"I saw your light was on and wanted to say good night." he explained, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Elizabeth rubbed her tired eyes. "What time is it?"

"It's nearly midnight."

Elizabeth nodded, opening the door wider in invitation and walked back towards her office. "I guess I should wrap things up then."

Darcy leaned against the doorframe, watching Elizabeth stretch as she saved the last of her documents and shut down her computer. If she only knew how provocative she can be.

Oblivious to the affect a simple stretch had on Darcy, Elizabeth asked, "Will Mrs. Reynolds have my hide if I make a cup of hot cider before I go to bed?"

Darcy chuckled, and seeing an opening for some intimate time with her, said, "Not if I go with you."

Elizabeth smirked and gave him a chaste kiss on the lips. "I see. Then it appears I have no choice." She grabbed her robe and the two headed to the kitchen. After heating up some cider and making some tea, Darcy suggested taking it into the library. The two sat together next to the glow of the fireplace, sipping tea and cider, Elizabeth leaning against Darcy. Between kisses – some deep and passionate, others light and chaste – they talked through most of the night. Topics of conversation were uninhibited. It was a night baring each other's souls; what they wanted for the future, family secrets, likes and dislikes, friends, and pet peeves. They talked a little more about Christmas Eve, and thoughts and feelings on that evening.

"William, how many women have you loved?" Elizabeth asked unexpectedly.

Darcy said nothing for several moments, uncertain how to answer the question. Finally, he said, "One." At Elizabeth's surprised look he said, "I've dated plenty of women, but I've only been in love with one."

Elizabeth nestled back down into a comfortable position against him. "Who was she?"

Darcy took a deep breath. He hadn't anticipated talking about past girlfriends for quite some time, but he had never felt closer to her than tonight. She had raised the issue, and he wasn't about to pull away from her again. "Her name was Sylvia." he began. "I dated her for a couple years, and almost everyone was certain we would be married. In fact, I had toyed with the idea of proposing. To make a long story short, she became frustrated with my work schedule, my traveling, etc. She told me one day to either quit working, since as she liked to point out often, 'I already had millions,' or she was leaving. I wasn't about to leave PMB in the hands of someone else, so she left." There was a long silence when Darcy was finished.

After absorbing the story, Elizabeth asked, "Do you miss her?"

"No. I suspect I will always have some good memories of her though," he answered honestly. He smiled inwardly at the question, hearing a twinge of jealousy.

Elizabeth nodded and smiled sadly, "You never forget your first love."

He kissed the top of her head. "I cringe at what I would be missing out on with you if I had married her though."

They sat in silence for a long time, listening to the crackling of the fire. Elizabeth secretly hoped Darcy would ask her questions of her past love life, but at the same time feared he would. She didn't know how to tell him about Adrian. It happened so long ago, but recently, memories kept coming to the center of her mind, and then there were the dreams.

Darcy's thoughts were elsewhere. He couldn't help but think back to his conversation with Richard and Georgiana. "Do you love her?" "It just seemed right when I invited her." "Never so smitten..." The answer came to him like a ray of sunshine through a storm cloud. There was no denying it anymore. He shifted his body so he could look her in the face. Tipping Elizabeth's face up to him. He looked deeply in her eyes and said, "Elizabeth, I love you."

Seeing the sincerity in his face, she turned away from him as a multitude of emotions struck her: anger that he was breaking their agreement to take things slow; sorrow, that she wasn't ready to say them back; fear, that he would hate her for not being able to repeat the words; fear, that she would say them back and what that would mean.

Darcy gently took her face in his hands and raised it up to look him in the eyes. "It's all right Elizabeth. I tried not to fall in love with you, but I did. You're everything I've ever wanted; you're smart, kind, ambitious and witty; you value your work, as I value mine. I love the way you live your life to the fullest, the way you enjoy everything. I know you're not ready to be married, to get engaged or maybe even a serious relationship. No commitments, no expectations. I meant it then and I mean it now. I'm not going to ask you or expect you to say those words back to me until you're ready; but I can't help how I feel, and I want to be able to tell you. I love you." He kissed her gently on the cheek and continued. "I think you already love me too, but are not ready to say it yet. I understand and I'll wait until you are."

Elizabeth sat silently for moment, looking down at the hands in her lap. Carefully and softly she spoke. "The truth is William, I don't want to be with any other man, and I hate the idea of you being with another woman, but I'm just not ready to make any other commitment to you. I'm sorry, but I'm not ready to say it back to you."

He pulled her close to him, pressing her head against his shoulder. "My love, I do not want anything you're not ready to give me. I am willing to wait forever if that what it takes to have you by my side."

"Thank you," she murmured as she leaned back against him.

The next morning the two were found asleep on the sofa by Charles; Elizabeth was nestled up against Darcy, snuggled under a blanket; two mugs, one of cold tea and the other cider on the table next to them.

"Busted!" Jane barked playfully, sitting on Elizabeth's bed watching her brush out her hair. Elizabeth blushed and turned to look in the mirror in front of her. "Jane, honestly, nothing happened."

"Charles told me he found you two together this morning in the library." Jane countered, with a smug smile. Pulling her hair back into a clip, Elizabeth said defensively, "We were up talking and we fell asleep, that's all."

"Lips locked type talking?" Jane teased.

Elizabeth joined her sister and sat on the edge of the bed. "All right, there was a bit of that, but nothing else. Honest! We're not ready for that."

Jane shook her head. "I have never seen two people more in love and less willing to admit it."

Elizabeth's face brightened and she looked at Jane impishly. "Technically, he admitted it last night."

Jane's eyes grew wide and she inched closer to Elizabeth. "What?" she exclaimed.

Elizabeth smiled broadly, her voice light with a giggle, "He told me he loved me last night." She looked down at the bed, trying to avoid Jane's prying eyes.

"And?" Jane prompted, moving to get a better look at her sister's face. Elizabeth turned away, and said in a quiet voice, "And nothing."

Jane sat upright, looking at the top of Elizabeth's head, her eyes wide in disbelief. "Lizzy, you didn't say it back?"

"Jane, I couldn't. I just can't bring myself to say it! I know he deserves to hear it, but I just can't." Elizabeth looked up tearfully at her sister. "What if I lose him too? I don't think I could go through that again." She added as an excuse, "Besides we just started dating." she said in a low whisper. Jane gave her a tight hug. "Lizzy, that was a long time ago."

Elizabeth nodded. Her sister hadn't said anything she didn't know already. Yet still, she couldn't get past the memories, the guilt, and the dreams. Until she did, she didn't feel right saying those words to Darcy.

Overall, the trip to Pemberley was successful. While their first exchange had not been terribly warm, Elizabeth and Gina took the week at Pemberley to get to know each other better, and the two warmed to each other considerably. They were not friends, but Georgiana was beginning to see what her brother saw in her. The two had found some common ground in teasing Richard and music, and that was enough to start.

Darcy and Elizabeth had grown closer. Darcy's declarations of love became more frequent, and although they took some getting used to, Elizabeth had to admit she enjoyed hearing them. While she would not admit it was love, her feelings towards him were strong and growing stronger.

The Fitzwilliam family opinion on Elizabeth had changed from gold-digging country girl to mere resignation at Darcy's choice; it was still far from approval. They were happy to see a less serious Darcy, though concerned by the source of the change. They remained unconvinced Elizabeth wasn't after Darcy's money.

As for Jane and Charles, Elizabeth was certain she would see her sister engaged soon. They hardly left each other's side and when they spoke to each other, their faces seemed to glow. Their preference for each other's company was unmistakable.

The magic of the holiday season came to a close, and while it had been a good season, Elizabeth was anxious to get back to normal. She was packing her belongings when her cell phone rang with a call from a familiar number. Elizabeth groaned.

"George, what is it?" Elizabeth asked.

"Miss Elizabeth. I was hoping I could interest you in attending a small gathering in Chicago for New Year's Eve." George said politely. "I don't know anyone else in Chicago, and we could go as friends, if that is your preference."

"I will still be out of town then." she clipped. "George, I really don't think you should call me anymore."

George sounded disappointed, but acquiesced. "Very well, Miss Elizabeth. I can only say I tried."

Chapter Seven: U-Turn

Posted on Thursday, 24 May 2007

For New Years Eve, Elizabeth and Darcy were in New York for the Governor’s Ball. Charles, Jane, Richard, and a disappointed Caroline had returned to Chicago without them, leaving just James, Georgiana, Darcy and Elizabeth at Darcy’s New York apartment.

Elizabeth was bursting with excitement. She had never been to such an event and was anxious to witness Times Square in person. More importantly however, the brief stay in New York gave Elizabeth a chance to breath - a full deep breath that only a soul that has been imprisoned can take. When the car door closed, separating her from everyone but Darcy, she felt the air return again to her lungs. She could not help letting out a deep breath and closing her eyes, enjoying the taste of freedom again. Admittedly, there had been a few moments of respite, but most of the week had been spent with bated breath for the next frosty look from his aunt, snicker from his cousin, or quizzical judgmental look from his uncle. As thick skinned as Elizabeth considered herself, this week had tested her fortitude in that regard.

Darcy too was looking forward to a few days with Elizabeth, without the unspoken coldness of the Fitzwilliam family. Darcy had long become an expert at ignoring the frigid stares and disapproving looks of his aunt, the judgmental observations of his uncle, and the sneering scoffs of his elder cousin. However, he had not become accustomed to Elizabeth’s behavior in their presence, and hoped he never would. No, Elizabeth on eggshells would not due. He did not fail to notice the iron wall behind her eyes in their presence, the slightly tightened grasp of his hand, nor her wooden movements and posture she held most of that week. Even the presence of Jane and Richard had failed to put her ease. Elizabeth’s discomfort he was keenly aware of and it had caused a feeling of angst to take up permanent residence in his chest that week. So it was with not a little amusement that he too found it necessary to breathe deeply as the car door closed.

The trip to New York would hopefully serve another item on Darcy’s agenda. He hoped the time alone with Elizabeth would raise Georgiana’s regard for her. He was aware of the duplicity of Georgiana’s character in the presence of his aunt and for that reason alone had limited her exposure to their aunt. While he was not surprised by Georgiana’s disapprobation for Elizabeth at their first meeting, he had anticipated better. He predicted that some time alone would allow Georgiana to form her own opinion of Elizabeth, and preferably a favorable one.

As Elizabeth expected, the New York apartment was just as elaborate as the Chicago location, if not slightly larger. The décor was simple and stately and had the same museum like quality in its furnishings Elizabeth had come to appreciate at the Chicago residence. The rooms were comfortable and inviting, and not at all ostentatious.

For the ball, Elizabeth had purchased a new gown and refused to let Darcy see it prior to the event, not that Darcy had pressed the matter much. She even made Darcy promise not to enter the room until she was ready; an idea less appealing to him, but her next action had decided him.

When the four were settled comfortably, Elizabeth asked, “Gina, I was wondering if I could steal an hour of your time to help me dress for New Years.” She waited for Georgiana to find a feeble excuse and would comfort herself with knowledge that she had tried. She remembered how Jane and she had always helped each other get ready for an important date or event with great affection and in truth, had extended the request as merely a kind gesture to build on the tentative relationship that had been seeded over Christmas; she did not require any assistance.

The reaction was not at all what Elizabeth had expected. Darcy had looked to Elizabeth at first with surprise which was then replaced by an obvious struggle to suppress amusement. What had amused him Elizabeth soon learned.

Georgiana’s initial reaction of shock was quickly replaced with giddy excitement. Before Elizabeth knew what was happening, she was being inundated with questions of her dress, the event and finally being dragged by the hand to her room, so the young girl could get a first hand look at it. The next half hour was spent with Georgiana assessing her life-sized doll to determine the style of hair, makeup, gloves, and nail polish - which Elizabeth did not understand why it was needed if her hands were to be covered in gloves. Her question was replied to by only a giggle. Elizabeth had no idea dressing for this event was so involved, but followed Georgiana’s lead, sitting compliantly where told and obeying without question.

Elizabeth was amazed at the difference in Georgiana now that she wasn’t under the watchful eye of her aunt and Caroline. The Georgiana polishing her nails was more like Darcy when she had first met him; reserved, and shy, but open and friendly after she warmed. And to warm to someone, the young girl only needed encouragement and attention, and apparently Elizabeth had stumbled onto one of her passions. Darcy had previously mentioned Georgiana’s struggle to find good friends but she had not appreciated his sister’s struggles until now. Silently Elizabeth wondered if the friendship would transcend the evening’s events, but decided not to dwell on it.

Darcy could not have been more pleased or hopeful at seeing Elizabeth and Georgiana talking together. He knew Elizabeth was feeling a bit overwhelmed by Georgiana’s exuberance and was grateful for her patience as Georgiana went on and on about nail polish, make-up, hair styles, and bemoaning the fact there wasn’t more time to shop for more appropriate accessories - though what she could possibly mean he had no idea, and from the look Elizabeth gave him, neither did she. Though, for the first time it appeared the two might be able to form a friendship; but knowing his sister well, knew it would take more than just one night for her to accept Elizabeth as family. He would have to find a way for them to meet more often.

Darcy waited patiently in the living room for Elizabeth to dress. He looked at his pocket watch impatiently. They were going to be late if they didn’t leave soon. He headed towards the dark oak door that had cosseted the two women for well over two hours. A giggle he knew to be Georgiana’s emanated from behind the door and reluctantly stayed Darcy’s attempt to hurry the two, deciding a friendship between the two would be worth a little tardiness.

Finally, when Elizabeth was certain she could take no more tweasing, buffing, painting, tugging and twisting, Georgiana announced she was ready and stepped back for a final purview of her creation. “You look wonderful. My brother will be quite pleased.” The younger one said triumphantly. The two exchanged quick hugs and Elizabeth thanked her for all her help.

Georgiana alerted a pacing Darcy Elizabeth was ready. As Elizabeth emerged, his reaction was everything imagined; his jaw dropped as he stood staring. He felt his pulse quicken and his mouth go dry. “Elizabeth” he breathed, “You’re stunning.” He looked Elizabeth up and down pleasantly, and then to his sister in awe.

Georgiana’s hands were clasped against her chest in childish anticipation and glee. The smile on her face told him his reaction was everything she had hoped for.

Elizabeth wore a strapless floor length black evening gown that exposed a teasing amount of cleavage, with elbow length black gloves. The string of pearls Darcy had given her for Christmas hung around her neck. With the help of Georgiana, her hair was pulled up into a complex collection of twists of braids, accented with pearls. A few wispy curls framed her face and softened the up-do, while playing teasingly with her bare shoulders.

Had Georgiana not been in the room, Darcy would have taken Elizabeth into his arms for a firm kiss to show his pleasure. As it was, he merely let his roaming eyes and broad smile speak for him.

Elizabeth looked over Darcy’s attire as well. Damn he looked good in formal wear, and she let him know she was also quite pleased with a rakish look that sent his heart soaring. She was used to seeing him in a suit, but something about the bow tie, and his neatly combed hair gave him a very debonair appearance in contrast his usual stoic self.

With additional compliments and thanks to Georgiana, the two were off.

The couple was greeted at the entrance to the ball by a host of photographers. Darcy had deftly guided Elizabeth through the throng with seemingly little effort. Clearly he was used to such attention. Elizabeth was introduced to a number of Darcy’s acquaintances: senators and congressmen, lawyers, judges, other CEOs, and all those politic. As if in repeat the charity dinners of the holiday season, she received congratulations on having caught New York’s most desired bachelor from a few of the married women, as well as a number of glares from which she could only surmise were the unsuccessful single women. In general, Elizabeth received the comments and looks with grace and only returned the fake smile she had etched on her face for the evening.

It wasn’t until she felt Darcy noticeably tense that she had been concerned for how Darcy might be fairing under the dreaded spotlight into which her presence had thrown him. Looking at the man whose arm she held, she noticed how rigidly straight his back was and felt his hold on her hand tighten. A glance up to his face showed her a jaw pulsing with tension and that a neutrally veiled face had replaced the more placid one he had been wearing earlier. She was about to ask him what was wrong, when the object of his consternation was before them.

“William Darcy. How good it is to see you! It’s been a long time.” The woman said warmly.

The woman’s familiarity with Darcy was not lost on Elizabeth and she was about to possessively greet the woman when she heard Darcy reply dryly, “Sylvia.”

Elizabeth’s eyes widened as she realized who the woman was before her. Her mouth suddenly went dry and she felt her stomach sink to her knees. Her feelings of apprehension were compounded when she felt Darcy pull her closer to his side.

Elizabeth glanced over the woman, noting with some dismay the woman’s natural beauty. She was tall and beautiful, with an air about her that spoke of well breeding; in other words, a lady that would meet with his aunt’s approval. She smiled politely at the woman and took a slow deep breath to overcome the feelings of insecurity flooding her. He loves me. Not her. She silently told herself more than once in rapid succession. Not yet fully convinced, but determined not to be intimidated by the woman, she lifted her chin and nudged Darcy slightly, recalling him to his manners.

Darcy turned stiffly towards Elizabeth. “Elizabeth Bennet. Sylvia Brenham.”

Sylvia acknowledged Elizabeth with a nod, and said with a hint of amusement in her voice, “So this is the woman everyone is talking about.”

The woman’s amusement fueled Elizabeth’s indignation she had felt only moments ago. Mixed with profound feelings of insecurity Elizabeth found herself speechless and wordlessly extended her hand in greeting.

Sylvia shook the proffered hand.

Elizabeth silently cursed at the woman’s firm handshake. Of course Darcy wouldn’t have tolerated someone without a little self-esteem.

The formality of the motions worked to steady Elizabeth and by the end of the handshake she found her voice. “It’s nice to meet you Ms. Brenham.” At Sylvia’s forced smile, Elizabeth continued. “Ms. Brenham, would you do us the honor and introduce us to your escort?”

Sylvia snarled her lip as she replied. “My husband is speaking with the Governor.” The tone of contempt was not lost on anyone.

Darcy opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by Sylvia continuing in a softer and warmer tone, directed specifically at Darcy. “The divorce will be finalized by the end of the month.” The warm tone and look the woman had given Darcy was blunt. She was flirting with the man!

Elizabeth swallowed hard and looked to Darcy for his reaction. To her dismay, Darcy’s face was a stolid as ever. Elizabeth managed a tight smile and said, “I’m sorry to hear that.” Then nudged Darcy to say or do something, anything to diffuse the interaction. Before he could act, if he even intended to, Sylvia said sweetly, “A dance William, for old time sake?”

Both Elizabeth’s and Darcy’s eyes widened at the request but only Elizabeth turned to look at Darcy; Darcy stood woodenly staring at Sylvia. She noticed Darcy’s mouth open to say something, but nothing came out.

Finally, anger replaced Elizabeth’s shock. She smiled pertly and said, “William, if you’ll excuse me I see someone I would like to speak with. Ms. Brenham, it was a pleasure to meet you.” Elizabeth unwound herself from Darcy arm and walked off, her head held high, not daring to look back at the two.

Belatedly Darcy let out the breath he had been unconsciously holding the entire time and watched Elizabeth head for the door. He knew her well enough to know she was less than happy, but couldn’t for the life of him figure out why she had walked off leaving him little choice but to dance with the woman in front of him. He coldly offered his arm to Sylvia and escorted her to the dance floor.

Through the majority of the dance, the two said very little to each other, and maintained an awkwardly large respectable distance. Darcy’s mien was cold and rigid, though he couldn’t make himself direct any displeasure towards Sylvia. The silence between them was deafening.

Finally breaking the silence, Sylvia said, “How have you been William?”

Darcy forced a polite smile. “I’m doing well.” He said over Sylvia’s shoulder. In actuality, Darcy’s mind was reeling. He hadn’t seen Sylvia since their last very ugly fight. He didn’t understand why seeing the woman had gripped him speechless. He prayed Elizabeth would be reasonable and understanding, but the sinking feeling in his gut, and her lack of presence in the room gave him a foreboding feeling.

Sylvia smiled and took a half step, closing the distance between them. “Still working long hours?” Darcy nodded. He couldn’t remember a time he had felt more awkward. The scent of his partners perfume suddenly wafted through him, sending him momentarily back several years to warm memories. The feel of her hand in his was familiar and more comforting than he wanted to admit. He struggled to find the feelings of loathing he had previously felt for the woman, and wondered why they had suddenly eluded him when he needed them most. He should have been able to walk away from her, as he did to so many other women. Something deep inside him, something he couldn’t identify stayed him.

Noting Darcy’s attentions were elsewhere Sylvia said, “Perhaps we’ll be seeing more of each other.” At Darcy’s quizzical and shocked expression she continued. “I’m moving to Chicago, I thought Richard would have told you.”

Darcy swallowed his surprise. “I wasn’t aware you saw Richard.”

Sylvia laughed lightly. “I saw him last October. I was in Chicago for the Art Institute dinner, saw him there with Caroline.” Darcy nodded once in acknowledgement, not certain what else to say.

The dance ended and Darcy escorted Sylvia off the dance floor with only the cursory nod to say goodbye. When he was alone, he took a slow deep breath. After tonight they would be able to meet at indifferent acquaintances. Yes! That was it. It was just the awkwardness of the first meeting. He took another deep breath. It was only then that he realized Elizabeth was no where to be seen and he set off quickly to find her.

Elizabeth had left the room and had found a dark hallway in which to be alone with her thoughts. Darcy had been so quiet through the whole exchange and she wasn’t sure what to make of that. But he did not perform well in social settings to begin with, so his performance in the awkwardness of that situation was not wholly unexpected.

On the other hand, he had practically forgotten she existed. She never thought herself to be the jealous type, only insecure people were jealous. Yet there it was, the green ugly monster. Then again, wasn’t at least a jealousy justified?

She had left the room knowing Darcy would be dancing with Sylvia and the last image she needed was the two of them dancing together. She reprimanded herself. You were the one who gave him no other choice! You and your stupid pride! You couldn’t just tell him no! You had to prove a point, and that put him in her arms again!

She thought back to Christmas and what he had told her of their relationship. He had chosen his company over her, certainly there had to be some reassurance in that. Then another disturbing thought came to her; she was the only woman he had ever been with, even she couldn’t say that. She felt tears welling up in her eyes and pressed her back up against the wall. The coolness of the stone seeped through her thin gown and bare shoulders giving her the strength from collapsing to a pile of tears. He loves you! He told you he does! She began again, reciting a silent litany to convince herself of Darcy’s affections, but her thoughts again took an ugly turn. Would serve you right if he went back to her. She at least had the courage to say it back to him! She took a deep breath and forcibly pushing herself from the wall began pacing.

She shook her head violently to push out thoughts and images of him with Sylvia. “He loves me!” She said aloud.

It was then that she felt a pair of strong warm arms engulf her. “Of course I do.” The arms whispered in her ear.

Elizabeth froze at the sound of the voice; she knew it was Darcy. He had heard her and she wondered how much of her jealous fit he had witnessed. She hated feeling insecure and blatant displays were reprehensible enough in private, but to have someone else witness it! She closed her eyes tight in self loathing. But, as the warmth of the blush that suffused her cheeks spread the rest of her body, she melted against his.

Darcy whispered softly in her ear, his embrace tightening. “She means nothing to me Elizabeth. I love you.”

Not certain she believed his words, Elizabeth turned towards him seeking out the sincerity of his statement in his eyes. What she saw gave her pause.

His face was unemotional and neutral and she could still see the shield behind his eyes. The furrow of his brow made him appear weary. The tenderness of his eyes she was accustomed to seeing with statements of affection was nowhere to be seen. Jealousy spread through her again like wildfire and in a fit desperation she said, “I love you William.” Her eyes searched his for a reaction.

Almost immediately Darcy’s face turned to one of surprise, and then the only thing she could see was the white of his shirt. Darcy had pressed her firmly against his body and was whispering platitudes of his love sweetly in her ear. In the deep recesses of his mind he knew why she had said it, but he wouldn’t allow himself to dwell on emptiness of the statement. The words he had longed to hear had passed her lips, and he needed that. He needed to know she would not give him up so easily. He wasn’t sure why that comforted him, or why he needed comforting but he did.

The two left the ball early that evening. Elizabeth failed to see the ball drop on Times Square, but the disappointment was small compared to the relief she felt leaving on Darcy’s arm.

The rest of the evening neither of them said another word about Sylvia. They had kissed at midnight in Darcy’s apartment, but it was not the tender kiss of lovers welcoming a future. It was a kiss filled with desperation, each one taking any assurances in it they could find.

The next morning all four sat together drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. Neither of Darcy nor Elizabeth spoke of Sylvia despite having spent the previous night alone, examining every word and expression of the ball. It was as if they had never met her and today was just like any other day.

Darcy was busy reading the Money section. Elizabeth was sifting through the sections of the newspaper, not quite ready for the heaviness of front page news. An audible intake of breath escaped her lips as she perused the Lifestyle section.

Darcy looked up in alarm. “What’s the matter love?” He said, with a bit more concern in his voice than he had wanted.

“If anyone was uncertain about the status of our relationship before, they aren’t anymore.” Elizabeth said stunned. She pushed the paper in front of Darcy to show him the large picture of Elizabeth and Darcy entering the Governor’s ball with the caption, “Elizabeth Bennet of Chicago has captured the heart of William Darcy, CEO of PMB. Hearts across New York are breaking as the city’s most eligible bachelor has been taken off the market.”

Darcy laughed at the picture and the caption and passed it to Georgiana and James. “Perhaps we should stay indoors today, unless the leering public does not bother you.”

Elizabeth cringed.

Just then Elizabeth’s cell phone rang. As she looked at the caller ID, she groaned. “Oh no! It’s my mother.” Darcy smirked, managing to suppress a chuckle.

“Hi mamma,” Elizabeth answered the phone sweetly. “Yes mamma… Yes mamma… I know mamma… No, we’re not engaged… I know what the paper printed, but we’re not engaged. Not for a while…”

The conversation continued for several minutes, until Elizabeth was exasperated and she threatened to hang up. Darcy spent the entire time suppressing a chuckle, hiding behind the newspaper. Georgiana and James covered their mouths with their hands, attempting to hide their large grins.

When Elizabeth finally hung up, the other three busted with laughter. Elizabeth glowered, looking pointedly at Darcy. “Don’t laugh or next time I’ll hand the phone to you.”

The rest of the afternoon was spent with Elizabeth and Darcy answer phone calls from friends and relatives – including Charlotte, Jane, Darcy’s aunt, and even Richard.

“How soon will this end?” Elizabeth asked in the middle of the afternoon. Darcy shrugged nonchalantly. “A day or two.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Does this happen every New Years?” Darcy smirked, a hint of pride in his face. “Nope. You’re the talk of the town after attending all the charity dinners with me.” He ignored the momentary catch in breath remembering who had said that last night.

Elizabeth asked lightly, “So you usually attend them alone?” Darcy heaved a sigh, realizing he was getting into territory he didn’t really want to be in, especially given last night’s events. “No. I usually have a date, just not the same one.”

Elizabeth raised her brows teasingly. “William Darcy using Rent-a-date?” She saw Georgiana struggling not to laugh. Darcy scoffed. “Hardly!”

Elizabeth laughed as she saw Georgiana dragging James out of the room laughing.

With the holidays over, everyone settled back into their normal rhythm. The first few days Elizabeth spent trying to ignore the looks and whispers of co-workers and the general public when she would go out. But as Darcy predicted, people forgot about it all by the end of the week.

Elizabeth and Darcy’s usual work schedule returned and they were resigned to seeing each other mostly on the weekends. It was hard at first; they were used to seeing each other every day and at least having breakfast together. However, both of them took refuge in the return to familiar settings and schedules and soon the events of New Years Eve were mostly forgotten.

Though work schedules did not permit frequently seeing one another, the frequency of exchanged emails and phone calls increased. It was still not a daily occurrence, as Jane had predicted, but it was enough for them.

It was near the end of January when Elizabeth received an unexpected phone call. “Elizabeth Bennet” she answered distracted by other tasks.

“Miss Elizabeth.” George drawled. “Or should I be calling you Mrs. Darcy?”

Elizabeth stiffened upon hearing the voice. “George?”

“Yes, George Wickham.”

Elizabeth cringed.

“I just wanted to say what a lovely little picture of you I saw in the paper… the one of you hanging on William Darcy’s arm,” he said, spitting out Darcy’s name.

The hairs on the back of Elizabeth’s neck stood up. There was something menacing about the way he was talking. “Is there something you need George?” she said tersely.

“No. I just wanted to let you know I understand.” He replied, with an almost haughty tone. “Understand what?” Elizabeth asked.

“Understand why you suddenly lost interest in me.” He explained casually.

Elizabeth protested. “George, there was never any interest in you.”

“William Darcy is sure to tempt any young woman.” He said, dismissing her last comment. The disdain in his voice at Darcy’s name was unmistakable.

“Good bye George. And don’t call me again!” she yelled into the phone, hanging up without even waiting for a response.

Before her laid a black casket with a large arrangement of white calla lilies on top. There was an endless crowd of black clad strangers surrounding her. Occasionally one would mumble something to her but she didn’t comprehend the words.

Elizabeth walked through the crowd and sat in a chair next to the casket. Her black dress marred by the unending stream of tears making tracks down her cheeks she had long given up trying to wipe away. Next to her sat other members of his family, Richard, Georgiana, and his aunt and uncle. Their faces were solemn and tear stained.

As she was preparing to leave, she was stopped by a woman’s voice, “Elizabeth, we found this in his room. I know he wanted you to have it.”

Elizabeth bolted upright taking in her surroundings. She was at home. In Chicago. It was a dream. He was still alive. She rubbed her face, finding her cheeks wet with tears. She dried them and put on her robe. She fought an overwhelming urge to go see him or hear his voice, even though she knew he would be sleeping.

Rationale prevailed as she realized if she woke him, she wasn’t prepared to explain herself. Of course she didn’t want to go to back to sleep either for fear of another dream.

Instead she made her way to living room, and sat curled up on her sofa, staring at the lights of the city, replaying the dream. She put her hands to her chest to stop the physical ache remembering the dream produced. There was only one conclusion to draw. “I love you William” she whispered to herself. She smiled hearing the words escape her lips. She was certain. She loved him. She had said it on New Years in a fit of jealousy, but that hadn’t made it any less true. The only question was now what?

The following weeks, Elizabeth found new excitement in hearing from Darcy. She found herself looking forward to times when they could meet, and loved the way his voice tickled her ear when he called. She was happy, truly happy. She hadn’t found the right moment to declare her love for him though. She would wait for the right moment, when there were no other distractions. When the opportunity came to spend a weekend in New York alone with him, she was certain the right moment would come.

A few weeks after New Years Eve, Darcy, Elizabeth and Richard were back in New York. Georgiana was performing a recital at Juilliard. The recital was a fairly informal affair, but Georgiana was pleased to have the family in attendance and had even warmly greeted Elizabeth. Both Elizabeth and Darcy were pleased at the friendliness Georgiana had spoken to Elizabeth. The friendship they had started over New Year’s weekend hadn’t dissolved and Georgiana comfort with Elizabeth was increasing.

The small group was gathered in the halls of Juilliard congratulating Georgiana on her performance when Darcy suddenly blanched and Richard’s mien turned suddenly dark. Unconsciously, Darcy pulled Elizabeth to his side and Richard took a protective step closer towards her. Surprised by the reaction of the two men Georgiana turned to see what induced such a reaction and her eyes widened in surprise. Without a second thought she exclaimed excitedly, “Sylvia!”

Elizabeth’s heart sank as she witnessed the how happily Georgiana greeted Sylvia, in contrast to just the warm smile she was given. Elizabeth belatedly looked up, hoping to find a different Sylvia, but was disappointed. The room grew dark and she began to feel the sickening rage of jealousy take over again. She gripped Darcy’s hand tightly, until he she felt him wince in pain. Trying to calm and reassure herself she took several slow deep silent breaths, an action not missed by Richard.

“Georgiana!” Sylvia exclaimed and hugged the young girl, ignoring the others. “I was so surprised to see you were performing tonight!” Then smiling warmly at Darcy said, “You must be very proud of her.”

“We are.” Darcy replied. He stood stiffly and closed his eyes briefly in agitation watching the two women. He was struck with the friendly regard that apparently still existed between them and part of him regretted removing Sylvia from his sister’s life. Georgiana did not make friends easily and it pained him knowing he was to blame for her losing one. He remembered how well the two had gotten along and how disappointed Georgiana was when he told her they had broken things off. He had hoped Georgiana and Elizabeth would… Elizabeth! Remembering where he was and more importantly who he was with, he rested his hand on Elizabeth’s shoulder, with all the warmth of a stranger.

With a bright smile, Georgiana turned back to see her brother’s reaction. Her smile fled the moment she saw Elizabeth. Realizing the awkwardness of the situation she dropped her eyes to the ground, not daring to look at anyone.

Elizabeth squared her shoulders, determined not to repeat New Years Eve. “Ms. Brenham.” She said coldly. She then turned to look up at Darcy, who was stonily staring at Sylvia. “William, I think we need to be going.” She said in a measured voice.

When Darcy didn’t react, Richard kicked him, bringing him back to his senses. With a start, Darcy looked down at Elizabeth and replied, “Of course love.”

The night of the recital, Elizabeth lay awake in bed thinking about Darcy. He was only a few doors down and she could still feel the passion and firmness of his earlier kisses. She chuckled to herself remembering how he had abruptly torn himself away, breathlessly pleading with her as he left the room. He had been so patient, determined to wait until she was ready to take that step. He had never once pressured to do something she wasn’t ready for; he had followed her lead.

She had spent the night at his place a couple times now; she even had a couple changes of clothes and all her toiletries at his Chicago apartment, but they had always maintained separate bedrooms. She wondered how many other men would agree to such an arrangement. She thought about Christmas at Pemberley, when he first told her he loved her, and all the times after that. How patiently he waited for her to repeat the words back, never hinting it hurt him when she didn’t.

She smiled as she could almost feel the warmth of his breath on her neck, as he whispered sweetly in her ear after she had told him she loved him at the ball.

Without warning the image of the reason she had said those words to him came to the front of her mind; it was Sylvia, standing proudly and smiling warmly at Darcy.

She turned over in frustration, punching the pillow as she did. Sylvia. The woman was constantly intruding these days! And why couldn’t she convince herself that he was over her? What was it about their interactions that made her so angry? She punched the pillow again in frustration. It was for the same reason she couldn’t say I love you, except in an invidious outburst. She wondered how long the past was going to haunt them, and if they could ever move on. She knew what she needed to do.

Determined to put her past behind her, she threw her feet onto the cold floor. After grabbing her robe, she walked to his room. She wasn’t sure if he was sleeping, but she wanted to talk to him immediately before her resolve left her. One of us has to start, it might as well be me!

After fleeing Elizabeth’s room, Darcy turned to the library. He paced the floor, dangerously cutting the air with the fireplace poker and cursing himself for being so weak. He had left Elizabeth’s room so abruptly he was certain she was angry with him, and why shouldn’t she be? He had been kissing her with reckless abandon only to have images of Sylvia intrude. Even more disturbing was the fact he couldn’t seem to shake them.

He heaved a sigh of relief realizing Elizabeth couldn’t read his thoughts and probably didn’t know the real reason for his departure. Even so he chided himself. He had acted like a complete boor that night for the second time. It was so evident even Richard saw it.

He grimaced as Richard’s chastisement early that evening came to him. Richard’s face was dark and he could see fire in his eyes. “If you’re not over Sylvia, tell her now. I won’t let you hurt her anymore.”

Hurt Elizabeth? Never! Darcy cursed again. Richard hadn’t even stayed long enough to let him protest. ‘Sylvia was years ago! I love Elizabeth!’ he wanted to scream in return. Not that it was any of Richard’s business! He stopped pacing long enough to rub the sore spot on his leg where Richard had kicked him.

After helping himself to a generous amount of brandy, Darcy flopped in a chair, dropping the poker to his feet. He grunted to himself hesitantly recognizing Richard’s concern had been valid. He couldn’t explain why he felt so paralyzed in Sylvia’s presence. He loved Elizabeth, he knew that. She was everything he’d ever wanted. He just needed to get past these other feelings, if he could identify what they were. For years he had felt nothing but loathing for the other woman, but now suddenly faced with her he couldn’t find those feelings again for reasons he could explain.

He laid his head against the back of the chair and closed his eyes. “I love you.” He pleaded softly to the room. His eyes flew open momentarily alarmed when he realized he wasn’t sure which woman he was talking to. With a deep sigh he closed his eyes again. “I love you Elizabeth,” he said, being careful to address the right woman.

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