Posted on Sunday, 13 May 2001

Abigail loved Pride and Prejudice. She always dreamt of the day that she would marry a P&P man. She had one in mind, and like all other young women, it was Mr. Darcy in the form of Colin Firth (*SIGH*) Abigail was staring out the window one day and as usual, was talking to herself.

"Why can't I have a P&P man?"

"But you can!!!" said a voice.

"Who are you?" asked Abigail?

"I'm your fairy godmother, and I can grant you any wish you want."

"I wish to be married to a P&P man"

The fairy god mother spoke a few magic words and there in Abigail's presence was none other than.....MR. COLLINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" cried Abigail

"But you asked for a P&P man. I got you one. Now Abigail, I have to run. There are many other young girls I have to grant wishes to."

"But.....but..........."

So that's how Abigail Smith got stuck with The Slimeball. Girls, be careful what you wish for!