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Chapter 11 Posted on Friday, 1 December 2006
Liz got up and slowly made her way into the kitchen, where she stood silently and watched the scene before her.
Thinking about what her father had said; that having Kitty home, safe, was indeed a blessing that could be laid at Darcy's door, she uttered a silent 'thank you'. Liz looked at the tableau around her. Her family was here, along with Steve, and Jane and Charles, newly engaged, were gazing into each others' eyes. Her parents were by the stove, bickering in good-humor. The Gardiners and her cousins were seated and talking to Mary and Lydia.
She felt quick tears sting her eyes at the realization that there were two...no, make that one person, that she wished to share this moment with, to confide in. She realized that she missed Darcy, and Mr. Pink, his alter ego. She missed the sense of comfort, of comradery. Their talks, walks, and seemingly endless online chats. A sense of loss pervaded her, as well as a sense of disappointment and anger. Shaking herself out of her melancholy thoughts, Liz joined her family.
Darcy sat behind his huge mahogany desk, going through the files before him. He stopped to listen to the man in the black suit speaking to him, and with a nod, signed a page and handed it over.
Fitz knocked and entered Darcy's office, just as the man was leaving.
"Is it all over?" he asked and sank into an armchair.
"Yes..." Darcy said, as he ran his hands over his face. "Wickham is in jail, awaiting arraignment, Kitty Bennet is home safe ... it's over."
"Are you going to try to get some rest now?" Fitz asked with concern.
"I think I'm going to go home, take a shower, and sleep for a week," Darcy muttered. "If I could get away with that ... Georgie's still mad that I skipped out on Thanksgiving dinner."
"She doesn't know what's been going on?"
"I'll tell her when I get home. Everything happened so fast, and had to be handled immediately, I didn't get a chance to tell her."
"I still can't believe that Wickham was stupid enough to call you...but how did you have him tracked down so fast?"
"Well, ever since he became my 'decoy', he was never let in on the full workings or capabilities of the security team. They thought it was too great of a risk... in case he was ever grabbed by someone, thinking he was me. When the whole impersonation thing came out, security's been going through his life with a fine-toothed comb. And they've been tracking him since. Knew his habits, his hideouts... his friends. Evidently he'd been working with Gloria Younge... a woman on my household staff. She'd been feeding him information regarding my whereabouts... so he'd never appear as me on nights I was at a public event or some such. When he called me on Thanksgiving morning, telling me that he had Kitty...making threats... demanding money, the automatic tracer on my phone started working. Security had a tracer on Younge, too, and we were really lucky that he called her right after he called me. With that, it was easy on locking down a general area where he was calling from. What took the longest was calling in some Government contacts to use their infrared satellite capabilities for a moment. We just used that to sweep the area ... Wickham had picked a pretty empty neighborhood, and when we finally detected two people in one place, the team swooped in."
"Whew..." Fitz whistled. "The marvels of modern technology..."
"I know. In daytime, those satellites can count the hairs on a spider's leg from orbit. Scary stuff actually...."
"Will ... if you couldn't find her that fast ... would you have paid the ransom?"
"Absolutely. It was my fault that Wickham was out there ... that he was greedy and cruel enough to go after such an innocent as Kitty Bennet. ... all my fault... so the remedy was all mine too."
"What now?" Fitz asked, noticing his cousin's heartbroken look.
"Elizabeth will hate me now ... forever. There's no turning back from something like this..."
"What do you mean?"
"I... I screwed everything up so badly with her, Fitz. The woman I love ... and I couldn't be honest with her because I was a d*mned coward!" he said, beating his fist on the desk. "I love her but I didn't trust her ... after Anne I. ... I was so afraid of getting hurt, of being betrayed ... that I hurt and betrayed Elizabeth instead. ... and now Wickham. How is she ever going to forgive the man responsible for her baby sister getting abducted?" Darcy cried.
"Will! I don't think Liz would blame you for all of this! She..."
"If it weren't for me, there wouldn't have been a Wickham around! If it weren't for me... knowing me... me being interested in her ... Wickham never would have gone after her or her family! How can you say I'm not to blame?!"
"Will ... I."
"No ... that's it. This is all my fault ... Elizabeth ... her family ... they'll never forgive me for this. I have to leave. I can't be here right now. I've already made plans to go to the Los Angeles office for a while. I'll head things from out there. Luckily for me, the criminal trial against Wickham takes precedence over the civil litigation, so after I submit an Affidavit, I'm free to leave until the trial itself."
"You can't be serious, Darcy? That's running away!"
"I told you," Darcy said, chuckling ruefully, "I'm a coward ... at least when it comes to Elizabeth. I'm sorry, Cuz, I just can't face her. Not now," he said heavily, the left the office.
Fitz sat in the chair and watched as snowflakes began to drift by the window, high above the streets.
Darcy made his way to his penthouse, feeling completely dead and empty inside. He had harbored the hope that one day, Elizabeth would be able to forgive him for what he did; now, he was without that hope. He stumbled through his apartment blindly, making his way to his room to begin packing for what would be months spent at his condo in L.A. As he was stowing things in his suitcases, Georgiana skipped into his room.
"Oh! You're back! So ... when are you ever going to tell me where you went so suddenly? You made Mrs. Reynolds and I polish off an entire pumpkin pie by ourselves!" she said, giggling.
Darcy turned and looked at his sister. She gasped when she saw the hollow look in his eyes; something she had only seen twice before ... when their parents died.
"What ... what happened? Is it ... is it Fitz?" she said in a whisper, sinking on her brother's bed as her legs gave out.
"No ... no, Fitz is fine. I ...*sigh*... Elizabeth Bennet's sister was abducted on Thanksgiving." At Georgie's gasp he continued, "She's fine ... she's home now. Georgie... it was Wickham."
"Oh no! Poor Elizabeth ... poor family ... but you said that her sister's home now? She's alright?"
"Yes ... no real harm had come to her, thank G*d. I can barely face myself now ... if she were hurt or ... I couldn't live with myself then..." Darcy said brokenly.
"What do you mean?" Georgie asked, horrified by the turn in her brother's countenance.
"It's my fault, Georgie. He went after her, because of me. I'm leaving ... tonight. I'm going to the L.A. office for a while ... I can't stay here," he muttered.
"Leaving?" she cried, leaping off the bed. "Why?"
"Georgie ... I just can't be here right now ... I'd go to Pemberley ... but I need to be busy ... get my mind off all of this. I'll be back, but not for a few months, at least. I'm sorry Georgie-girl. I have to do this."
"Oh ... alright. I'll miss you, Wooly-bear," she said, crying, as she slipped her thin arms around her brother's neck.
"I'll miss you too, Pickle-nose," Darcy said, squeezing his sister.
Darcy slept on the flight, and arrived at LAX feeling wooden and rumpled. A limo picked him up and took him to his condo. When he got in and deposited his suitcases, he sat down and checked his voicemail. He received a static-filled message from Bingley informing him of the engagement to Jane. The 'whoops' could be heard in-between spots of white-noise, and Darcy's face cracked its first smile in over a month.
"Good show, old man..." Darcy said, then his face fell again when he realized that Charles marrying Jane meant increased contact with Elizabeth. "After everything ... I probably won't be invited to the wedding, anyway" he deduced morosely.
He shoved himself off of the couch and went to his room to shower and change. Throwing on some jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, he poured himself a scotch and sat out on his veranda; the occasional tear leaving trails on his cheek.
Things had begun to settle down at the Bennet household. Jane and Liz had gone back to their homes and were preparing to get back to work. Mr. Bennet, Mary and Kitty had another week off from classes, but Lydia was to return to school on Monday. She wanted to go back, even though her father had told her she could call in sick for the week, in light of everything that happened. Lydia scoffed at the idea, and said that if she had to stay another full day in the house, her nerves would be worse than her mother's. Mr. Bennet just laughed.
An engagement party had been scheduled for two weeks later. Mrs. Bennet was in her glory, as planning was her specialty. The party was going to be held at Bingley's penthouse apartment, which was spacious enough for the close family and friends who would be attending. When Liz was over at Charles' apartment helping Jane with the invitations, Bingley checked his cellphone and "humph-ed".
"What is it, dearest?" Jane asked.
"I know I called Darcy and left him a message ... he's hasn't called me back, yet. That's odd. I'll call his office ... maybe the call got dropped or something."
Charles got up and went to the kitchen to make his call and to grab everyone something to drink. When he returned, he had a troubled look on his face.
"He's gone."
"What? Who's gone?" Liz asked, her heart pounding.
"Darcy ... he's gone to the L.A. office for a while. .. few months from the sound of it. Huh. He didn't say anything to me about going out there ... something must have happened."
"I'm sure that's it, Charles," Jane said soothingly.
"I wonder if Fitz knows anything," Liz mused out loud.
"I'm sure its nothing to worry about. Probably just some company problems. Darcy used to run all over the place a few years ago," Bingley said, getting up again as he had forgotten to grab the drinks.
"Are you o.k., Lizzy?" Jane asked, her curiosity aroused when she saw Liz's pensive look.
"Well ... I just think it's odd that Darcy takes off right after everything happened ... without saying anything to one of his best friends about it ... didn't even return his calls. Something's wrong ... it doesn't sound like Darcy."
"And why would you care if something were wrong..." Jane asked slyly.
"I may be angry with him for lying to me, Jane, but I don't wish the guy ill..." she grumbled, stuffing invitations into envelopes.
"And this is coming from the person who, a few weeks ago, wanted to rearrange his face?"
"Jane..." Liz said, heaving a sigh, "I was angry ... really, really angry for a while ... I probably did overreact a bit ... but he deserved it."
Jane went back to making out the guest list and kept one eye on her sister. As Liz kept working on the invitations, she suddenly grew pensive, and after a while, a ghost of a smile came to her face. Jane gave a slight nod, and went back to her task, secretly pleased.
Days came and went, things fell back into their old routines. Liz had taken Kitty down to the dojo and introduced her to the art of aikido. Kitty was a very fast learner, and Liz initially trained with her, but Kitty's college schedule made it difficult for Liz to be there consistently, so Kitty continued on, alone. Liz didn't mind this so much, as the hurtful anger she had carried with her had begun to recede. She stopped going to the dojo nearly altogether, and began to regain the weight she had lost, much to her family's relief. Liz had not looked healthy the past couple of months.
Jane's engagement party was a quiet affair, as Bingley parties went. Caroline was furious that the event had been turned over to Mrs. Bennet, and she nearly boycotted the evening. She finally deigned to make an appearance, however brief, as there was no one of fashion there to interest her. Steve and Fitz showed up, and made everyone dance. Liz kept trying to put a Village People c.d. in the stereo, and she was nearly thrown, fully-clothed, into the tub by a wildly giggling Steve.
"Lizzy! I told you that I hate that c.d!"
"I know! That's why I want to play it!" she laughed back. "Come on! Which one were you ... the biker? The Indian?"
"Turn the hose on that one!" Fitz cried, joining in the fun.
The trio finally settled down, and bundled against the cold, went out on the balcony for some air.
After a moment of playful banter, Liz grew quiet and stared off into the night.
"What's wrong, Lizzykins? All that beer you guzzled finally getting to you?"
"No ... I'm fine ... I've just been wondering..."
"Hmmm?"
"Fitz ... are you ever going to tell me how your cousin saved my sister?"
Fitz spit out his mouthful of wine and groped for a napkin. After wiping off his chin, he turned to Liz in astonishment. "How did you know?"
"Something Kitty said ... about seeing "Wickham's twin" there that night ... and the fact that one of the most expensive private security firms was working on the case. My father may know a lot of people, but hardly any who would be able to afford something like that out of the goodness of their hearts. The clincher was; who else knew Wickham?"
"Oh ... L*rd..." Fitz breathed out.
"Hon? Why didn't you say anything to me about this?" Steve asked, turning accusing eyes on his partner.
"Steve ... you know how I feel about you. I do trust you ... completely ... but Darcy is family, Steve. Aside from Georgie, I'm really all the family he has left. He hasn't been close to any Aunts or Uncles since his mother died. Georgie and I are it ... so if he asks me not to say anything ... I don't say anything ... not even to you ... I'm sorry."
Steve took a deep breath and was about to say something when Liz stopped him. Looking at him, she said, "Steve ... that's understandable. Not every family is like yours ... some are very close..."
He looked into Liz's eyes for a moment, then turned and gave Fitz a small smile. Releasing the breath he had been holding, Fitz took Steve's hand, and he told them what Darcy had told him; the investigating, the call made to Darcy, the tracers, the satellite, the security team, and the search and rescue.
Liz stood there and listened to the tale in awe. The sheer amount of money and power used to enable such an endeavor was beyond her imagination. IIS Investigations was extremely expensive, she had learned. To hire several teams of their agents would bankrupt a small nation. And then the satellite usage? Liz shook her head... she didn't want to know how many strings Darcy had pulled to get Government permission to search for two people during what was essentially wartime still.
"But ... why?" Liz whispered. "Why would he go through all that trouble ... all that cost? There is no way we could ever repay him..."
"There's no need to, Liz. Darcy blames himself for the whole thing," Fitz said staring out into the skyline.
"What? How ... why does he think he's to blame for the acts of an obviously depraved and selfish man?" Liz asked with no small amount of incredulity.
"Because if it weren't for him, none of this would have happened to you or your family, Liz. That's the way he sees it, anyway. That's the real reason why he's taken off to California," Fitz said, conflicted. He felt that Liz needed to hear these things, and even though she knew that Darcy had been involved, Fitz felt like he was betraying Darcy. Fitz studied Liz's profile. Her brow was furrowed and she was chewing on her bottom lip as she so often did when she was contemplating something, or was disturbed.
"I'm beginning to freeze a bit, lets go back inside, shall we?" Fitz ventured, and slipping his arm around Steve's shoulder began to move towards the doors.
Liz stood there a while longer, looking out onto a city that suddenly felt a bit empty to her. "I can't believe him blames himself for everything. Poor William..." she mused, then turned to follow her friends back inside.
When Liz got home she kicked off her shoes and went to change into something more comfortable. Emerging in flannel pants and an oversized sweater, Liz made herself some cocoa and went to her office to get online. After spending an entertaining hour killing pixels with Diablo II, she opened her email. She had not received anything from Darcy in a while. He stopped emailing her shortly before she unblocked her account, and unfortunately, she had emptied her mail 'Trash Bin', and the messages he had sent her were gone forever. All she had left were the letters she received from her Mr. Pink.
She read through all of the messages she had received, chuckling over his jokes and wry words. Reading his emails made Liz want to talk to him even more, but she couldn't. Not yet.
Christmas came, and the Bennet family spent their traditional holiday vacation in a rented cabin in the wilds of Western New York. It was a nice, quiet, and relaxing time away from the city, for the most part.
The Bennets were invited to a Christmas party that was being held at a nearby ski resort, and Liz had the great misfortune of being introduced to someone by her mother.
"Lizzy! Lizzy!" she heard her mother hiss. "Come over here, I have someone I'd like you to meet! Lizzy ... this is William Collins, he's an executive with the DeBourgh brokerage in New York! Mr. Collins ... this is my daughter, Lizzy ... she's ... er ... a lawyer."
Mr. Collins' face split in a wide, gaping grin that instantly put Liz on her guard. The short, squat, greasy-haired man standing next to her was leering at her in what he imagined was a charming way. "Lizzy..." he drawled out, "it is so nice to see so many people here from The City. Especially, so many fine young ladies. So..you work, do you? The CEO of my company, Ms. Catherine DeBourgh, says that it is very important for women to be in the workforce. Ladies should always engage their minds. Unfortunately, Ms. DeBourgh's daughter, Anne, is of a sickly disposition, so she cannot work, herself, but... as Ms. DeBourgh always says; 'Had Anne's health allowed it, she would have been the head of a major corporation already, such is her natural skill'."
"Er..." Liz began, before Collins kept on where he left off for a breath.
"Now, the DeBoughs of New York are one of the best families in the country, you know. Ms. Catherine is related to the Darcy's, who, I am sure you would be unaware of, are one of the wealthiest and most influential families in the nation, if not the world! Why, Ms. Catherine always said that her Anne and William Darcy would be the greatest couple ever seen, and in fact, they're on their way to becoming so ... I know,"
"What? That's ... I mean, aren't' they cousins?" Liz sputtered in disgusted shock.
"Well ... only by marriage. Anne DeBourgh is Ms. Catherine's step-daughter. She and William Darcy used to date publically, but he had to focus on the company for a while. Ms. Catherine knows that when things return to normal, he and Anne will be engaged as soon as possible!" Collins said, a self-important smirk on his face.
"Excuse me..." Lizzy said before turning around and walking away. She wove through the crowd and over to the bar, where she ordered a double-shot to help combat the pounding headache she felt forming. Jane saw her, and wandered over to join her. She and Charles had followed the Bennets, but were staying at their own cabin.
"Lizzy? Are you o.k.? You look pale.."
"I'll be fine in a moment. I just had to escape the worst man I think I've ever met ... of course, we were introduced by Mom ... so big surprise. So how are ... oh L*rd! He's coming over here..." Lizzy whispered in panic.
Bill Collins trudged right up to the sisters and nearly insinuated himself between them. "Lizzy ... this must be your lovely sister, Jane. You mother told me much about you... I congratulate you on your recent engagement. And to a man of such high standing in society. You must be so appreciative of his notice. My CEO, Ms. Catherine DeBourgh, is very conscientious of keeping within one's class, and speaks of maintaining the ranks of society..." he said with a smirk. "Ah ... the music is beginning. Lizzy, may I have the first dance?"
Liz stared at the little toad of a man with incredulity. Bill Collins was one of the rudest, most obsequious and arrogant men she had ever had the displeasure to meet. She glared at him and flatly stated, "No ... I am very conscientious of keeping within one's species.." before taking Jane by the arm and walking away.
"My L*rd! The nerve of that guy..."
"Lizzy ... I am sure he didn't mean any harm.."
"Jane! After everything that we've been through, you have to realize that not everyone in the world is a good person! Look at Wickham, for G*d's sake."
"I know, Lizzy ... I just try to look for the best. Fine, I will acknowledge that not everyone is good.."
"About time, Jane..."
"If ... you can acknowledge that making mistakes ... even big ones ... doesn't make someone a bad person.."
"Of course it doesn't ... why are you ... oh. Very clever, Jane," Liz said. "Why is everyone, even Dad, so bent on me getting over being angry at Darcy."
"Because its not good to be angry at someone ... especially since you might be seeing him often in the future. He's Charles' best friend. It would be uncomfortable for everyone if you two aren't getting along ... I would like for everyone to be friends."
"You're right, Jane ... as usual." Glancing around the room, Liz decided to make good her escape. Kissing Jane on the cheek, she slipped out a side door and walked back to her car. She drove back to the cabin and snuggled up before the fireplace with a book.
The next morning, Liz woke early, and donning as much warm clothing as she could, began her trek across the vast stretches of snow-laden woods. She was glad she had brought her snowshoes, and she was making good progress. Taking a rest every now and then, she exhilarated in the fresh air, sun shining on the snow, and the wildlife that she saw. She came across a herd of deer, a red-tailed hawk, and several cardinals; their red plumage a stunning contrast to the landscape of white, blue, and the dark green of the pines. Liz finally began her march back to the cabin, hoping she could score some pancakes with real maple syrup before they were gone.
After she had divested herself of snowshoes and several layers, she joined the rest of the Bennet family in the kitchen.
"Yes... pancakes! I was afraid I'd miss them!" she said with a grin, sitting down and grabbing a large stack of pancakes, practically drowning them in syrup. "I'm going to have to make a run to town and get more syrup... I want to stock up a supply for home," she said around a mouthful. "Anyone need anything?"
"You could pick up a paper," suggested her father.
Liz changed and drove to the small town a few miles from the cabin and ski resort. It was a lovely area, and Liz had frequently thought of moving to somewhere like it, someday. It was quiet and peaceful, two things that the city were certainly not. "Maybe ... one day, if I ever marry and start a family ... I could live somewhere like this...." she mused.
When she got to the town's little store, she stocked up on syrup, bought a few other essentials, then went to the drug store to pick up a paper. Finding a New York Times for her father, she was about to leave when she noticed a story on Darcy on the front page of People. She picked up a copy after a moment's deliberation, and went out to her car with her purchases. She got in and started up, only to hear her car sputter and die. She tried a few more times, and then rested her forehead on the cold steering wheel. "Oh L*rd ... come on ... don't die on me now!"
After waiting and trying again, she finally gave up and walked a block to the nearest garage. Hoping it was only the battery, Liz was disappointed when she heard that her car had finally drove its last mile. It wouldn't be worth the cost to get it repaired; it needed a new engine, transmission, and exhaust system. Liz pulled out her cell phone and called the cabin to have someone pick her up. While she was waiting, she looked over a few of the cars for sale at the garage. Not wanting to make the long drive home in a car full of Bennets and luggage, she thought it would be a good idea to get a new car before she left. Not to mention the fact that she didn't want to be without a car, even in a city with expansive modes of public transportation.
Liz finally felt her luck was growing; she found a used car, in excellent condition that got almost 36 miles to the gallon. Just as her father was pulling up to the garage, Liz found herself the proud new owner of a Subaru. She put the groceries in Mr. Bennet's car, and made plans to return to town the next day to deal with the DMV and her insurance.
"Well, I send you to town to get a paper and you get a car ... that's some impulse buying," Mr. Bennet chuckled.
"Well, 'Christine' finally died. She was a good old girl ... after 426,000 miles, it was her time," Liz said sadly. She knew it was silly, but it was her first car and she had fond memories of all the trips she had gone on in it ... all the milestones it had been witness to, ever since she had received it, used, upon graduating from high school.
When they returned to the cabin, Liz went up to her bedroom and pulled out the copy of People. Darcy was once again gracing the cover as 'Most Eligible Bachelor'. Heaving a sigh, Liz opened up to the article about him, which contained the whole story of his taking over his father's company, his estimated assets, and the ordeal with Wickham.
"Now that the stories of William Darcy's Cassanova behavior can be laid at the door of another, it only improves his worth and eligibility. Why would any woman want a bad boy, when they could bring home a real Prince Charming? Currently heading operations of his multifaceted, multi-billion dollar company from its L.A. headquarters, we can safely assume that the beauties of Hollywood are scrambling for the chance."
Chewing her lip, Liz let her mind drift back to her time at Pemberley ... how Darcy had cared for her when she was ill, how genuine he had appeared to be towards her after the night of the ball, and the ball itself; her evening with 'Mr. Pink'. "If he was honest in saying that he wanted to get to know me, and me getting to know him for who he really was ... why did he keep up the pretense when we were meeting in person? Why keep up the charade? But ... *sigh*... he really can be 'Prince Charming' at times ..." she mused, tracing his profile on the photograph of him in the magazine.
Soon, too soon, Liz's Christmas break was over, and she drove her Subaru, dubbed "Blanche", back home in time for New Years. She spent the night at a party thrown by Steve and Fitz at the loft. It was also a 'farewell' bash, as it was to be the last party thrown at the apartment she had shared with Steve; he was moving in with Fitz.
"So, what am I going to do when I need to come over and talk, drink cheap wine, and watch bad movies?" Liz whined.
"You can still come over, Liz. It will just be a longer walk," Fitz said, throwing an arm around her.
Liz smiled at her friends, but couldn't help feel jealous. Jane and Charles were engaged and getting married in May, Steve and Fitz were moving in together ... everyone seemed to be happily paired up, except for her. Even Mary and Kitty were in relationships; Mary with someone from her music classes, Kitty with Detective Severn of all people. He was so impressed with the way she handled herself after her ordeal, and was surprisingly enough, a member of her dojo. They had started training together and a few weeks later, he asked Kitty out on a date. Kitty and Marcus were a nice couple.
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Liz. You'll find someone ... someday" she told herself silently, almost successfully ignoring the part of her what was saying, ...but you already have found someone.
Life in the new year followed a similar routine as the previous one. Liz went to work, hung out with Steve on the weekend, although less frequently. She saw Jane less and less as plans for the wedding continued. Liz took solitary strolls through the parks, watching the world coming back to life; trees with new leaves, flowers blooming. She walked by a vender selling tulips where she bought a few bunches. When she got home she placed them in a vase. She stepped back to look, and it struck her that she picked pink tulips. Puzzled, she picked one up and studied the fragrant bloom.
"But ... I hate pink ... why did I get these?" she asked out loud.
She stuck the flower back in the vase and answered the phone that had begun to ring. "You have reached 'Dial a Confession'. All of our priests are busy at the moment, so at the tone, please leave your confession, and we'll get back to you with your penance. Good day, my child ... Beep!"
"Father ... I have been a bad boy. I have had impure thoughts ... there was this one time, at band camp,"
"Enough, Steve! My virgin ears won't take it!" Liz said laughing.
"Hey, Lizzykins! How're you doing?"
"Fine ... just got back from a walk. You know how much I love the city in the spring."
"Yes, I do. So, have you heard the news?" Steve asked, his voice becoming serious.
"No ... what's up? Anything wrong?"
"Well ... Fitz just called. Looks like he and I are going out of town next weekend. Hon, Darcy's coming back ... he's invited some people up to Pemberley..."
"Oh..." Liz said in a quiet voice.
"Just thought I'd give you the head's up."
"Do you know who else he's inviting? Oh ... wait, other line's beeping. Hold on ... Hello?"
"Lizzy?"
"Hi, Jane. What's up ... I'm on the other line, want me to hang up?"
"Um ... no, that's fine. I just called to tell you that Charles and I are going out of town next weekend..."
"So ... you're going to Pemberley, I take it."
"Yes ... how did you know?"
"Steve's on the other line. He and Fitz are going."
"Ah ... well, Charles just got off the line with Darcy. Darcy called to invite us ... to see if we were interested in going. He seemed to have the idea that we weren't talking to him anymore..." she said, the confusion evident in her voice. "I don't understand why..."
"Oh ... well..."
"I'm calling because when Charles was talking to him, he asked if you were invited too. Darcy said that he didn't think you'd ever want to see him again, or talk to him ... not after everything ... but he'd love to have you there."
"Um ... I..." Liz began, her mind going blank, "I would love to go..." "Why did I say that?"
"Oh, great!" Jane said excitedly. "I'll let Charles know so he can tell Darcy! Bye, Lizzy!" she said, and hung up before Liz could utter another word. Taking a breath, she went over to the other line.
"Sorry about the wait ... that was Jane. *Sigh* looks like I'm going to be joining all of you..."
"Really? That's wonderful! I've heard so much about the place and it would be even better to have you along!"
"Steve ... do you really think I should go? I don't even know why I just agreed to..."
"It'll be fine, Lizzykins. Its been a while now, time to put everything behind you. Who knows, maybe you guys could be friends again. It sounds like you two got along..."
"We did ... we got along wonderfully ... its just..."
"Its just that he made a mistake ... like I said, Lizzy ... time to move on."
"O.k. I'll see how things go next weekend ... but I'm not promising anything..."
"Good ... at least you'll try. Well, I've got to get going now. Talk to you later."
"Bye, Steve."
Steve hung up and called Jane.
"So, she's going, huh?"
"Yes ... and I didn't give her a chance to back out. Did she say anything?"
"She asked me if she should go, I told her 'yes'. This isn't going to be easy, but they need to work things out. Lizzy deserves to be happy. And Fitz says that William's a shell of the man he used to be ... he's worried about him."
"I always thought that they were perfect for one another ... too bad things had to go so wrong..."
"I know ... well, maybe this weekend will see them being friends again, if nothing else."
"We can only hope. O.k., I've got to let Charles know so he can call Darcy. Call me later on, let me know how things are going?"
"Sure thing, Jane. Later, hon."
Steve sat back in his chair and turned a smile on his partner.
"It's on," he said.
"Good ... lets hope that they don't catch on..." said Fitz with a conspiratory grin.
Chapter 12 Posted on Monday, 4 December 2006
Early the following Friday:
"Well, we can take my car..." Liz offered.
"We can fit fine in the limo, Liz ... really," Fitz said with an amused smile.
"We could ... if you want to waste all of that gas. Besides, its been a while since Blanche has seen the open road. Would be a good thing to blow out some carbon."
"This is going to get ugly really fast if you don't let her have her way, Fitz," Steve said with a chuckle.
"Fine ... fine ... I'll forego driving in comfort to save a tree."
"My car is comfortable! Even you'd like it. Killed a few cows for the interior, and its got a great sound system. You're still going to be driven there by someone else, so what's the difference?"
"The difference is ... well ... um ... it's a limo!" Fitz said, furrowing his brow.
"Uh huh," Liz said, shaking her head. "I thought so. O.k. get her loaded up!"
The chauffeur bemusedly took the luggage out of the limo and placed it in the Subaru's hatchback. Still grinning to herself, Liz got in and started the car. Fitz looked inside, and shaking his head, slowly got into the back seat.
"Are you sure I'll fit in this car? Looks really small..."
"Fitz ... shut up and get in!" Liz said, chuckling. Steve pushed Fitz the rest of the way and closed the door on him before he slid into the passenger seat.
"Nice wheels ... loads better than old Christine. Ah... heated leather seats! I'll be in heaven! Your limo doesn't have heated seats, Fitz." Steve said with a smile at Liz.
"Oh ... do they work back here?" Fitz asked, suddenly interested.
"Yes they do. Now ... radio or c.d.?"
"Oh ... I brought some music. Mind if I throw it in?"
"No ... not a problem, Steve."
Liz had begun driving and was watching traffic. It wasn't until they were on the highway when she noticed it was Miles Davis coming out of her speakers.
"Hey! I didn't think you liked Miles ... I haven't heard this since..." she stopped, suddenly remembering the last time she had heard this album; the night of her ill-fated dinner with Darcy.
"Oh ... I like Miles. Fitz got me into it ... he loves jazz," Steve said in a nonchalant voice.
Liz looked at Steve's profile for a while, before turning all of her attention to the road. The three friends chattered away happily until she came to the entrance of Pemberley's long driveway. Taking a deep breath, she turned onto it, and focused on making her foot push the gas pedal. It was a quite a while before the woods on either side parted, and she could see the grand house in all its sun-drenched splendor. Her lips curled in an unconscious smile, "I have never seen a place more beautifully situated... it's like a dream... or something out of a painting..." she mused. Once more, her thoughts turned to the time she was last here; remembering the woods, her walks, the pond, the balcony under the stars with a certain someone...
Shaking her head she slowed and pulled to a stop in front of the house. She looked up and saw Darcy appear on the front steps, looking much thinner and more gaunt since she had last seen him. He looked confused until he saw Fitz and Steve get out of the car. Liz kept her head down and gripped the steering wheel, gathering herself before she faced him.
"Hey, you guys! Great to see you again! What happened? Limo break down? Who'd you get to..." he broke off as he saw Liz get out. He stood there, completely still with shock, and mouth left gaping. "Could it be ... could it really be?! Elizabeth!? How ... why ... how is she here?!"
"As you can see we came up in Lizzy's car. Don't worry ... we'll get the bags, although Liz might need some help with hers..." Fitz said, attempting to keep a smug smile off his face.
"Er ... um ... yes, yes of course," Darcy said, blinking and still standing on the steps. After a moment, he finally gathered enough willpower to make his limbs move. "Um... hello, Elizabeth. Its really, really good to see you," he said softly. "I'll have to get a room made up for you ... I didn't know you were coming."
Liz waited for her heart to start beating again after being so close to him and hearing his voice for the first time in months. As soon as it did, though, she caught the meaning of his words and flashed a glare at Steve and Fitz. "Didn't know I was coming, eh? I'm sorry, I was under the impression that you were well aware..."
Darcy noticed her look at the two men currently trying to sneak up the front steps. Shaking his head in mild confusion, he reached in the open hatchback to grab one of Liz's bags. "Still pack enough for an army, I see," he said, trying to break the tension between them.
"No ... I pack enough for a girl," she shot back, grabbing the other bags. Aware of the fact that it seemed too easy to fall back into their customary easy banter, Liz cleared her throat and asked to be taken to her room. "Don't go there so fast, girl ... he still has a lot to answer for ... and you'll get those answers, by G*d!"
Darcy noticed the change in Liz's mood, and heaving a sigh, led her inside Pemberley's grand entrance way. Seeing his housekeeper, he motioned her to come over.
"Mrs. Reynolds? It looks like we have another guest. Could you please have a room readied for her? I think the blue suite will be fine."
Mrs. Reynolds' brow shot up, but she quickly agreed and instructed the staff to have the room prepared. After a short while's wait in the sitting room, Liz was shown to where she would stay for the next couple of days. Upon entering, her breath was nearly taken away by the splendor she saw. Not only was the room nearly as big as her entire apartment, but it was decorated in the loveliest dark blue silk, as were the furnishings and bed. Beautiful landscapes hung on the walls, and the fireplace was a masterpiece of marble. "Wow..." Liz said in a whisper.
"It is a lovely room, isn't it?" inquired the housekeeper, brightly. "I think it one of the nicest in the house. It was Mrs. Darcy's room, and it hasn't been used for many years ... although it has been kept up."
"Really?" Liz asked, astonished. "I don't mean to pry, but why didn't she and Mr. Darcy share a room?"
"They did, but not when he was away on business. She couldn't stand to sleep in their bed when he was gone, and the little ones would usually curl up with her. Oh! Listen to me, prattling on. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call for it. And its good to see you again, Miss Elizabeth," she said before letting herself out. Liz sat down on the gigantic bed, chewing on her lip. "His mother's room ... I don't think there's enough people here for the other's to be filled ... why'd he give me this room ... especially since it's not been used?" After admiring everything for a while longer, she got up to unpack and check out the bathroom. Gaping when she saw the size of the bathtub and separate shower, she decided that she was going to enjoy them as soon as she could. She ran the bath, and spent a while luxuriating in it until she began to prune. The discovery of the jacuzzi jets was a delightful surprise.
After drying off, Liz changed into comfortable yet nice clothes, and she went in search of Jane. She would leave Fitz and Steve's tongue-lashing for later. Walking down the long hallway, she finally heard her sister's voice. Knocking and waiting a moment for a reply, Liz entered and found Jane sitting on the bed, talking with Charles.
Liz folded her arms and gave the two a stern look. "So... you did tell Darcy that I was coming for the weekend ... didn't you?"
"Um..." Jane began, averting her eyes.
"Liz? What are you doing here? It's great that you could come up!" Charles said, bounding off the bed and giving his soon-to-be-sister-in-law a hug. "Jane? Isn't this a great surprise? Who did you come up with?"
"I came up with Steve and Fitz, Charles ... and Jane knew I was coming..." Liz said, glancing at her sister who was fidgeting uncomfortably. Charles turned and looked on his fiancée in confusion.
"Yes, Lizzy. I'm sorry ... I didn't tell Charles that you were coming," she said in a quiet voice.
"And why, pray tell, didn't you inform Charles ... or Darcy for that matter?"
"We ... er ... I thought it would be better this way. It was a nice surprise for Darcy..."
"From the looks of him he seemed almost ready to keel over from shock, Jane. You should have told him ... and you should have been honest with me, and not resorted to some kind of trick." Liz said, turning on her heel. She went further down the hallway and found where Steve and Fitz were staying. Not finding them in the room, she began a search of the rest of the house. She heard Steve's booming laughter coming from the game room. Calmly walking in and grabbing a pool cue, she spun it in the air and caught it, holding it point first in her friend's stomach.
"Are you going to tell me what's going on here?" she asked in deceptive sweetness.
"Back off, Liz! You're getting chalk on a good shirt!" he barked, taking a step back. "Fine ... we tricked you ... tricked Darcy too. He's been moping around for months, and so have you! You two need to work out your differences, and not just for your own sakes. Everyone thinks you're both being silly ... it's been months now! Jane, Fitz and I worked out how to get you here ... Jane was originally going to tell Bingley so he'd tell Darcy, but Darcy's been so afraid of running into you, we didn't know if he'd stick around if he knew you were coming..."
"Why wouldn't he stick around?" she asked in bafflement.
"Because, Liz ... I told you before ... not only does he think you'll never forgive him for the whole Pink fiasco ... but he still thinks you blame him for Wickham ... and that you'll hate him forever because of it," Fitz said.
"I don't blame him for that ... I never did!" she said, lowering the cue and furrowing her brow.
"I know that ... but he needs to know that too. His imagined guilt is killing him. He's my cousin, Lizzy ... closest thing to a brother I'll ever have ... please ... please, you've got to talk to him," Fitz said, placing his hands on her shoulders.
"I will ... I planned on talking to him..."
"Well, do me a favor and talk to him about Wickham first. Give the Pink business a little room ... Darcy's pretty fragile still ... and try to rein in that nasty temper of yours. It's taken him this long to even come back and see people again. When he was out in L.A., he threw himself into his work ... he never left his condo except to go to the office ... he hasn't talked to anyone for months except for me and Georgie..." Fitz said, closing his eyes.
"Oh...." Liz said, looking away from the pain in her friend's face. "Sure ... no problem, Fitz."
Liz turned and left the room. Heading for outside, she decided to take a walk down to the pond to clear her head. "I didn't know ... poor William! Carrying all that guilt and grief for all of these months..."
After a while, Liz returned back to the house, her thoughts and feelings under regulation. Figuring that he'd be in the library, she entered quietly and found the owner of Pemberley behind the great desk, bowed head in his hands.
"William?" she asked slowly, nearly startled by how fast Darcy's head snapped up. "I'm sorry to intrude, but I need to talk to you."
"Oh ... no ... not a problem. Please sit down," he said, indicating a chair next to the desk. He had just spent the past hour or so thinking about the woman seating mere feet from him. "Alright ... so you've been thinking about her for most of the past year ... you tried to escape her but you couldn't ... and now she's here ... in front of you again ... at Pemberley ... where it all started ... L*rd she looks amazing... oh Elizabeth ... think, man ... think! You've got to talk to her ... you never heard back from her ... just hope its not too late!"
"Thank you. Well, first ... I ... I would like to thank you for everything you did to bring my sister home safe ... if it weren't for you, I don't know if Kitty would still be with us ... thank you ... thank you from the bottom of my heart, William, and from all of my family..."
Darcy stared at her in shock. "How ... how did you know?" he asked in a whisper, completely taken aback and stunned; everything else slipping from his mind.
"I figured it out. And Kitty said she saw "Wickham's twin" that night ... then I asked Fitz and he confirmed it for me."
"Fitz..." Darcy growled and ran his hands over his face.
"You mustn't blame him, William. I already knew..."
"Oh ... well ... that's that, then...." he said darkly.
"William ... it wasn't your fault. Wickham was mad at me for unmasking him too ... it wasn't anyone's fault ... he's scum, and no one could see something like that coming...I"
"Of course it was my fault," Darcy snapped. "He wouldn't have gone after you ... wouldn't even have known you if it weren't for me!"
"I'm telling you it wasn't your fault! I don't blame you ... my family doesn't blame you... the only person to blame is Wickham! You did everything you could to bring Kitty home ... and she's fine now ... she's safe! She wouldn't be here if it weren't for you!" Liz said heatedly, leaning across the desk and grabbing Darcy's hand.
He stared at Liz's delicate fingers wrapped around his. He was speechless; shocked at the contact. Looking up, he saw her eyes boring into his. There was no anger there now, no hatred ... no blame ... all he saw was compassion and concern. Swallowing, he placed his other hand on hers. "Thank you," he whispered. "You have no idea what this means to me...."
Liz sat there for a while longer, holding his hand. Beginning to feel uncomfortable, she gently disentangled herself and rose from the chair. "You're very welcome, William. Now, if I'm not mistaken, it's time for dinner. You look like you could use some food, and I know I sure do!" she said smiling.
Chuckling, Darcy rose as well, and escorted Liz out of the room. On the way to the dining room, Liz had ventured to ask how her family could ever repay his kindness. Darcy shook his head fiercely, and said there was absolutely no need to even ponder such a thing. He had the means, the motive ... and he had felt responsible for the whole ordeal. Darcy said softly, "You know ... as much as I was worried about Kitty and your family... I believe I thought only of you..."
Liz stopped and looked at Darcy in amazement. He entered the dining room, and Liz was left in the hallway, listening to her heartbeat echoing in the stillness.
When Liz finally entered the dining room, she found everyone already seated. "Georgie! How good to see you again!" she exclaimed when she had spied her sandwiched in-between her brother and Fitz.
"Hi, Lizzy! I didn't know you were coming!"
"That seems to be going around..." Liz said, looking at the conspirators.
"Well, it's a nice surprise! We have the old gang together again! Sorry that I've been out of the loop for so long, I ended up going to a dig in Mexico for part of this semester."
"I heard! Congratulations! How exciting ... did you find anything?"
"It was on some newly discovered Incan ruins ... it was fascinating!" Georgiana talked about her experiences for a while, to Liz's relief. She didn't know how she would have fared in a conversation with Darcy right now, not to mention with Jane, Fitz, and Steve, who she was still irked with.
Everyone enjoyed the meal and the company, although Darcy was quiet, even for himself. After supper, Liz decided to go for another walk as she so loved the woods and paths of Pemberley. It was too dark to go to the pond, so she walked through the gardens. Sitting down on a bench, she threw her head back and watched the darkening sky. She was still and quiet for a long time, before she heard voices from the other side of the hedge.
Earlier that evening, after everyone had finished dinner and Liz slipped out, the rest of the party were congregating in the sitting room when Mrs. Reynolds knocked and entered hurriedly. Walking over to Darcy, she bent to whisper in his ear. Looking at him in inquiry and panic, Darcy deliberated for a moment and gave her instructions. Clearing his throat, he excused himself, and headed to his office. Steeling himself, he opened the door and strode in.
"To what do I owe this ... visit, Catherine?" he asked in a low voice.
Catherine DeBourgh was standing by his desk, idly flipping through various magazines and folders. She presented an interesting picture; a steel-haired woman of unidentifiable age (due to extensive plastic surgery), dressed in a dark wool suit with a mink stole, holding her (very pointed) nose in the air. Darcy could never fathom how Catherine could have came from the same family that produced his mother or uncle; they were such opposites. "Oh! Well, if it isn't my favorite nephew! How have you been, I haven't heard from you in ages. You've been hiding yourself in California, for some reason ... but now you have returned. Anne is glad you did, isn't that right?" she asked, pointedly turning and indicating her step-daughter.
"Yes ... very glad. Hello, William," Anne said in a honeyed voice with a smile.
Darcy turned and looked at the woman he had once loved. She was still beautiful; strawberry blond hair floated around her shoulders, her make-up was perfect, her outfit elegant. But it was the eyes that gave lie to the woman's beauty. Her eyes were cold, calculating ... almost lifeless, like a doll's eyes..."a shark's eyes.." Darcy realized.
"Anne..." he said with a curt nod, then turned to his Aunt. "So ... is there any reason why you are here?"
"I came here to see my nephew..." Catherine sputtered. "I recognize my duty to family, unlike some people ... It has been some time since I've heard from you, and here I have to get intelligence of your return from others! It is all very vexing! I am quite put out!"
"I was not aware that I had a responsibility to account for myself to anyone. I recognize my duty to family as well, Catherine, but isn't it still common courtesy to announce an intent to pay a call, among distant relations? I am a busy man, and I have house guests at the moment, so ... please, if you would be so kind, tell me why you're here."
"Very well, Darcy, since you want to dispense with the small talk," she said with an exasperated snort, "I have come with a business proposition. You can have the DeBourgh Brokerage Corporation ... free, gratis..."
"But ... there's always a 'but' in there, especially with you Catherine..."
"You may have the company, I am the majority shareholder by a long-shot ... I don't even need a board review to agree to any terms ... you may have it all ... If ... you agree to marry Anne," Catherine said with a triumphant smile.
Darcy looked at his Aunt in utter astonishment and incredulity. It took him a moment to find his voice, "Marry Anne? You've got to be joking!?" he said loudly, wiping the smirk off of Catherine's face. "And for such a paltry bribe? Really, Catherine, I thought you could do better than that..." he said, shaking his head and trying not to laugh.
"Paltry!" Anne snapped.
"It would take more than the contents of all the banks in Switzerland and the souls of everyone I love to get me to ever tie myself to you ... now get out, both of you," he said with a snarl and left the room. "I trust you can find the door..." he said over his shoulder. As he made his way back to his guests, he said in a quiet voice to Mrs. Reynolds who had been hovering, "If they don't leave after a few minutes, get a couple of the stablehands to see them out ... and if they ever return ... call the cops." Darcy noted the small smile on Mrs. Reynolds' face and chuckled. She had never liked the DeBourghs.
With loud shouting and door banging, the illustrious DeBourghs departed Pemberley, never to pollute its shades again. On their way out, they passed by the gardens.
"I can't believe the nerve of him ... the ingrate ... who does he think he is? He's no family of mine, now ... I disown him!"
"Catherine ... keep your voice down..."
"Anne ... stupid, girl! You should have gotten pregnant like I told you to! How could you fail at something so simple and so important?! If you had gotten pregnant with his child, he either would have married you or you would have been set up for life ... with your child inheriting Pemberley and Darcy Incorporated..."
"But, Catherine ... you know how irregular I am ... things just never coincided ... believe me, I tried ... but with all of those d*mned business trips of his..."
"Well, you obviously didn't try hard enough! You could have even gotten pregnant by someone else ... or at a lab for G*d's sake and passed it off as his! Even that Wickham fellow you were seeing on the side ... But no! Couldn't do that, could you?! And now everything is ruined! This was our last chance and we're just going to have to find someone else now, for you ... how about that one fellow ... the one that owns..."
Liz clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from shouting in horror. "My G*d! How ... sick ... disgusting ... his own Aunt? And that is the woman he used to date? She even cheated on him?! With Wickham?! No wonder he broke up with her ... no wonder he hasn't dated since ... no wonder.."here she stopped, no longer paying attention to what the two women on the other side of the hedge were saying.
"Its like he told me ... people were always after his money ... his status ... they didn't care about him! Even this woman he had loved... she was just using him ... was going to use a baby against him ... Oh ... poor William..."
Slipping out of the garden, she headed back to the house. She followed the noise back to the sitting room, and plopped down on the couch next to Steve. Everyone was watching a movie, 'Indiana Jones and the Lost Arc', in tribute to Georgiana's recent dig, but Liz has spent the entire time either staring off in concentration, or looking at Darcy out of the corner of her eye.
Darcy sat and tried to keep his eyes on the t.v. He could tell that Liz was disturbed about something, but didn't trust himself to speak to her again that day. The revelation of her not blaming him for what had happened to Kitty had brought him great relief; the weight pressing on his shoulders and the vise around his heart had let up considerably, but there was still something else to talk to her about. Darcy was just waiting for the right time, he couldn't do it in front of everyone.
Several hours later, the party broke up and everyone began to wander off to bed; tired from the long day and traveling. Liz had given Darcy a small smile as she passed him on the way to her room. After taking another bath, this time enjoying the jacuzzi jets, Liz lay down on her huge bed for a long time, sleep never finding her. This evening and the events of the past couple of months, beginning when she was first at Pemberley, were running through her head over and over. Heaving a despondent sigh, she got up, threw a robe on, and crept down to the library, hoping to find a book to quiet her mind.
Upon entering the library, she couldn't see. The only light seemed to be coming from the fireplace. On closer examination, she could see Darcy sitting on the floor, barefoot, wearing a button-down shirt and jeans, staring into the flames. At her startled "Oh!", he looked up, his face deeply troubled, his eyes pools of torment.
"Darcy?" she said, creeping into the room.
"I ... is your room comfortable?"
"Yes ... perfectly so ... but I'm still having some trouble falling asleep ... I thought perhaps ... a book might help..."
"Well, there are plenty here..." he said bleakly.
"William? What's wrong?" she asked, then gasped as she saw what he was holding in his hands.
Darcy sat and turned a mask shaped like the upper part of a skull over in his hands. "Its Mr. Pink's..." Taking a breath, he heaved it into the fire. "The mask is gone now ... in more ways than one ... I am so sorry, Elizabeth. I did not mean to cause you any pain..."
"Then why? Why the deception?" She cried in a soft voice.
"I told you everything in the email I sent you ... I..."
"I didn't read it. I deleted it without even opening it ... I was so angry with you..." Liz said, averting her eyes.
Darcy gave a rueful chuckle and shook his head. "All these months ... never a word from her ... and she never knew..." "Serves me right, then... I should have told you in person ... should have told you everything. I tried to ... I tried to tell you that night at your apartment ... I tried to get you to meet with me afterwards ... but it never worked out ... I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. I should have tried harder ... I should have done a lot of things differently..." Darcy sighed deeply and let a sob slip out. "You were so dead set against me when we met at Pemberley during my birthday, and there I was, falling head over heels with this wonderful woman who hated me! And hated me based on falsehoods and misunderstandings ... I couldn't let that be the way of things. I ... I overheard you speaking to two of your friends one day. You told them of the reasons for your dislike, and I decided to do whatever I could to change your opinion of me."
"My purpose was, the night of the ball, for you to see me as I really was. The only mask I wore that night was the plaster one on my face, Elizabeth ... well, and the accent to hide my voice. But that was me ... the real me. The one that no one but Fitz, Georgie, and Charles have ever seen, and not even have any of them seen all sides. I wanted you to, though. I thought that if you could see me as I really am, you could like me for who I really am, then possibly my dreams could come true. I kept up the charade of being your Mr. Pink, stupidly enough, because I was afraid that you wouldn't like the William Darcy before you....or that you would like me but for the wrong things ... When I was with Anne... she made me believe that she loved me ... but it was all an act ... she toyed with me so that she and Aunt Catherine could get their hooks into Pemberley and my money ... after I found out, I couldn't let myself trust again. I was too hurt ... too betrayed. Being Mr. Pink ... our emails and chatting ... gave me a way to see if you'd like me for me ... without the money ... without all of this," he said, waving his hand around.
"I was a coward ... but in our letters, I found some small hope that I never had in my real world ... that you would love me as I love you, Elizabeth," he said, the last words a whisper full of pain and anguish, his eyes turning back to the fire, tears coursing down his face.
Liz felt her heart breaking at that moment ... it was then that she knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, and she fell to her knees beside Darcy and threw her arms about him. "And I am sorry... so sorry that I was so angry with you for so long ... I didn't know why I was ... why I couldn't seem to let go ... why I was so hurt ... but ... I know now ... I know..." pulling back slightly, she breathed into his ear, "William ... I ... I love you," and at the same time, breathed light into Darcy's darkened heart.
Grasping her arms in trembling hands, Darcy gently pushed her back so that he could see her face. It was as tearstained as his. "Elizabeth?" he asked, all the hope in him alive in that one word as he reached up to brush the tears from her cheeks.
"I love you ... you," she said again, looking deeply into his eyes. "I guess I have for a long time ... I just didn't know ... didn't want to realize it ... I've been hurt before, William ... hurt badly ... when I was in college I was seeing this guy ... I loved him ... I trusted him with my whole heart..."
Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Liz continued, "We dated for a few months, and the entire time he told me he loved me, how I was the only one for him, how we were going to get married after school. One night, I went to a party with some girlfriends ... and that was when I saw him there, standing in a corner ... making out with some girl ... exactly like how I found Wickham that night when I thought he was you...I screamed at him and ran back to my room. He came around ... a few hours later ... drunk and stinking of alcohol ... and he ... he..." she said, closing her eyes and averting her face, "he raped me that night ... then said it was all my fault that he had cheated on me ... if I hadn't been such a prude and spent more time studying than I spent with him, he wouldn't have had to be with other women ... wouldn't have had to force me ... I've never told anyone this before ... not Jane ... not Steve ... no one ... I was too hurt and ashamed to..."
Darcy's eyes flared and his whole frame began trembling in rage. He looked so fierce that Liz was momentarily frightened, then immediately placed her hands on his shoulders.
"William ... William, its alright. I'm over it ... I've moved on ... well, I hope I have now..," she said with a slight smile. "I'm so sorry ... I overreacted ... I loved you, but I was so angry and hurt when you lied to me ... I guess that everything came back, and I was mad at you for what he did too ... I let it get the best of me ... I didn't give you a chance to explain, and the friendship we had deserved that, at least. Can you ever forgive me? Can you forgive me for all of these months?"
Darcy had tears streaming down his face. The confession he had just received had sent icy shards though his heart. He couldn't understand how anyone could do something like that ... how anyone could hurt this beautiful woman before him..."You hurt her too ... you didn't mean to, but you did..."
"There's nothing to forgive, my love. I am so sorry ... sorrier than you'll ever know that you were hurt again by someone you cared for..."
"William ... I forgive you ... I can understand, now, why you did what you did. All of the clues were there, but I ignored them. And I overheard Catherine and Anne in the garden ... they were talking about you ... how Catherine had planned for Anne to get pregnant by you ... I can't believe how someone can heartlessly try to manipulate another person like that ... I felt sick to my stomach listening to them... You've been hurt too. Someone you cared for hurt and betrayed you ... your own family betrayed you ... Aren't we a pair," she said with a rueful chuckle.
"Are we? A pair, I mean?" Darcy asked, trying to steady his breathing.
"Well, if you don't mind being with a crazy woman and I..." Liz started to say, then was silenced as Darcy crushed his lips to hers and wrapped his arms around her.
Darcy groaned against her lips, they were as sweet, cool water to a feverish man, dying of thirst. "Elizabeth..." he whispered, before taking her lips again in a gentle kiss that deepened into a longer, more lasting one.
Darcy's hands slid down to Liz's thighs as he drew her closer to him. She allowed him to pull her up so that she was straddling his lap. His hands unconsciously continued their movements, going under her robe. So caught up in the moment, he startled momentarily when he suddenly noticed that she was apparently wearing nothing other than a tank-top and underwear under her robe. The feel of his hands gliding over the silk of her skin pushed Darcy over the edge. Liz gasped against his lips when she felt his hands caress her, and then forgot everything else as he captured her mouth in a searing, white-hot kiss.
Liz felt as if she would lose consciousness as Darcy's hands move around to her back and then up to her shoulders. She moaned, throwing her head back which allowed Darcy to kiss her neck. Unable to control herself, she ran her fingers through his tousled, curly hair, which caused him to kiss and nip at her neck with even greater furor. Suddenly, he wrenched from her grasp, and panting heavily, picked her up in his arms and ran out of the room. Like the devil was at his heels, Darcy bounded up the stairs and kicked open his bedroom door, and after entering, set Liz down for a moment so that he could shut and lock the door behind him. He stood there for a moment, his dark eyes blazing at her, breathing deeply. Liz took a step near him and gently placed her hands on his chest, savoring the shape of his muscles beneath his shirt, and slid them up to his neck. Taking another step which brought her against him, Liz rose up on tiptoes and gently kissed him on the lips.
Liz let out a soft moan as she felt his hard arms encircle her. She kept her lips on his as she felt Darcy begin to slip her robe off of her shoulders. With another quick movement, Darcy picked her up and carried her over to his bed. After setting her down gently, he began unbuttoning his shirt. The garment was quickly removed and she lowered her eyes to take in the broad expanse of his shoulders, his muscular chest and arms, his taut stomach. She ran her hands smoothly over the chest of the man in front of her before slipping her fingers into his belt-loops and using them to pull him closer to her, tilting her head up to kiss him again. As she did so he gently sunk his fingers into her hair, loosening her curls in the process. "My G*d ... you're gorgeous...you're everything to me..." he said, his voice thick. Darcy's ardent gaze caused Liz to feel a wave of heat, which became cooled when she realized that she was before him without the protection of at least a robe.
Liz became panicked when she realized that she was in her underwear before a man who had, no doubt, been with women who were society's epitome of female beauty. She felt plump and inexperienced and began to draw away self-consciously.
"Lizzy ... Lizzy what is it?" Darcy asked with concern.
"I ... can you give me a blanket?" she asked shyly.
"Are you cold my love?"
"No ... no ... I just ... I ... I don't want you to look at me..." she said, biting her lip and closing her eyes.
Darcy held her chin gently and tilted her head so that she would look at him. "Elizabeth ... why?"
"I ... I know I'm not what you're used to..." she said with embarrassment, averting her eyes again and unconsciously using her arms to cover herself.
"Used to? How could I be ... Elizabeth ... you are the most unique and beautiful woman I have ever seen. You are unbelievably sexy ... G*d ... just a glimpse of you drives me insane..." he said with a growl, pulling her into an embrace. "You have no idea what you do to me ... the first time I saw you down by the pond...it took every ounce of my strength not to rush out and kiss you right then..." he said, grasping her even more tightly to him, running his hands into her hair.
"The first time?"
"I have a hiding spot next to the pond ... its where I've always gone when I want to be alone. I was sitting there, reading, when I heard someone swimming. I peeked through the bushes and I saw you get out of the water ... you were wearing nothing but your underwear ... and ... oh Lizzy ... how I wanted you," he breathed, as he lowered his lips to her neck. "Now ... where were we ... my dearest ... most delectable ... desirable ... Elizabeth..?"
Liz's self-consciousness was lost in his kisses. She reveled in the feeling of his lips against her skin, his cheek against hers, the smell of him surrounding her.
"Oh ... William..." Liz breathed.
"My love..." he replied, brokenly, looking into her eyes.
"I do love you so, William."
Darcy was completely swept by emotion upon hearing those words. His heart pounded in his chest and he felt the most profound wave of love and happiness that he had ever experienced. Liz smiled at him tenderly, as a look of complete heartfelt delight came over him. "I'll love you forever ... Elizabeth.." he said, before wrapping his arms around her once more, silently vowing to never be without her again. He held her and rocked her, breathing kisses into her hair. He leaned back, slowly, and settled Liz against him so that her head lay on his shoulder. He silently berated himself for letting his passion for her override his judgment. "What was I doing? After what she went through ... I'm surprised she even lets me touch her! No ... I'll take my time ... I'll wait forever if need be ... for her ... for her I'll do anything..."
Liz lay with her head on Darcy's shoulder, listening to his heartbeat slowly go from pounding to a more gentle beat. She could feel him stroking her hair and his warm lips. Confused, she propped herself up on her elbow and quirked a brow at him.
"Um ... is something wrong?" she asked, blushing.
"No ... nothing is wrong ... why do you ask?" he said with mild concern.
"Well," she said, averting her eyes and blushing even more fiercely, "you ... um... stopped."
Darcy's heart began pounding again, and attempting to keep his voice steady, asked, "Do you not want me to stop? I wouldn't force you to do anything you don't want to do, Elizabeth. If you're not ready, I understand. I don't mind. We don't have to do anything..."
"William? Shut up and kiss me..."
Darcy woke up hours later and with still-closed eyes and a smile on his face, slid his hands across the sheets. Not feeling what he had hoped to be next to him in bed, he opened his eyes and searched his room. Noticing the curtains in the balcony doorway billowing, he grabbed a robe and went outside. Liz was wrapped up in one of his huge, fleece robes and was leaning against the railing. Silently moving up behind her, he was rewarded with a small gasp when he slid his arms around her waist.
"Hello my love ... did I startle you?"
"A little," she answered with a small giggle, and leaned back into him, nestling herself in his warm embrace.
"Elizabeth..." Darcy breathed into her hair and began kissing her temple, her cheek, her neck. She turned in his arms and Darcy immediately caught her lips with his own. He kissed her deeply and tenderly and tightened his arms around her. Pulling his face away from hers, he buried it in her hair and held her silently for a long moment, savoring the feeling of having her in his arms, after all the months of torment and yearning.
Liz clung to Darcy with the same sentiment and feeling. She had felt anguish and was torn over being in love with two men at the same time, and then knowing that her two loves were one in the same, she had lost him in part due to her own fears and distrust; after everything that they had been through, to be here with him now, she felt profound contentment.