Jump to new as of March 10, 2003
Prologue
Posted On: Saturday, 1 March 2003, at 1:04 p.m.
Anne stared outside as the first drops of rain out of yet another pack of clouds hit the windows. It was like this for days already, always a steady rain. The last time when she had seen the sun shine she couldn't exactly remember as the sky now was always packed with thick and dark clouds.
Sighing she turned away from the window, only finding that her sitting room was not more interesting than what she had been previously looking at. Turning back again she followed some drops of rain that made their way down the glass. It would not do. For days it had been like this, she was bored and fought against sleep which did not seem to leave her ever, not even after a good night's rest.
Her life had always been boring of course, not much else was to be expected if everybody you know, even your own mother, says to you over and over again how weak a constitution you have and how pale you always look. It had been said so much, that Anne now no longer contradicted it. She had started believing in it herself, forgetting about those early years, when she had played outside, done mischief with some other young girl without Lady Catherine noticing it. She just took in all those stories about her weak health that her mother or Mrs Jennings always seemed so eager in telling her.
Not that it really mattered to Anne. She was used to all this now. When she would get out of bed, there would always be a glass with some medicine or other standing on a table near the door. It was placed there on the orders of Lady Catherine of course, for her to make it through the day. Then during breakfast, her mother would always tell her to eat more and much because of her weak health. It didn't seem to matter that Anne did eat much; there wasn't a meal Anne could remember in which she had eaten less than a full plate. Her mother just didn't seem to notice.
But Anne didn't pity herself for this; she never had. For in all those years, she had realised the folly of lots of people fussing over you while nothing is wrong. Every morning she smiled to herself as she looked at the strange new pill Lady Catherine would have laid down for her on the small table. Keeping her laughter in check when Lady Catherine remarked on her eating too little, when just taking her third plate of potatoes, was even harder.
It had been a day like all others when the letter from her cousin Darcy arrived. They had been at breakfast, and she was just counting the number of seconds before her mother would remark on her eating too little when a footman brought it in. She had been sincerely concerned for her mothers' health when, while reading, her face had turned pink, then red and at last a most unbecoming shade of purple.
It turned out Darcy was engaged to a woman named Elizabeth Bennet, a girl whose acquaintance Anne had made last April. Though her mothers dislike of Miss Bennet had been very great, Anne had always admired the woman of just 20 years who stood up to her mother and said without a blush what Lady Catherine did not want to hear. No, Anne could not agree with her mothers' point of view. She didn't care for the fact that her cousin had married someone else, for she had never wanted to marry him. The wedding that her mother looked on as pure evil, was to her a blessing in disguise.
As she looked at what seemed to be the thousandth raindrop gliding down the window, Anne was alerted by harsh footsteps near her room, which she recognised as her mothers'. She jumped from the window-seat and sat down by her table on which a boring history-book lay, which she had been supposed to be reading this last half hour, and opened it at a random page. Her eyes were just in time focussed on the page before her when Lady Catherine burst into the room.
"Anne!"
Anne, knowing it didn't matter if she answered or not, looked up from the book and tried to look as if Lady Catherine's unexpected appearance was a pleasant surprise.
"I have just had a letter," Lady Catherine began, indicating the paper that she held in her hand, "It is from my cousin, Sir August Morton. He is a very respectable gentleman, and has a very nice estate some way up north, in West Yorkshire to be exact. However, I have not seen him for at least this last ten or fifteen years, for he made a most degrading match."
"Really?" Anne said, not really interested, but Lady Catherine didn't notice and went on with her story.
"I suppose it's common thing for the men of this family to make degrading matches. All seem to forget themselves and throw everything out of the window." She said, her face darkening. "They all seem to forget what they owe to their family, and just marry the first poor country-nobody that comes into their path. It is a most displeasing quality that many men these days seem to develop. However, still, with that wife of his and the many mistakes he made, Sir Morton is a respectable gentleman. If I did not knew that yet, this letter is a proof of it. For, Anne, he compliments you in about every sentence in this letter! Now what do you think of that?"
Anne wanted to reply something, but Lady Catherine only stopped long enough to take a breath and then continued.
"Upon my word, he does! But you have not even heard his reason for writing, for Anne, he is inviting you to come and stay with them for a couple of months! I am sure it is only natural to do so, for you are both of very superior breeding as well as superior understanding, and I am sure he wishes to have you as an example for his children. Now, I have written back already to make my approval known. Also, you will be expected at Morton House in a week. Since it's a two-day journey, you will be leaving on Tuesday-next."
And without so much as a word from Anne, Lady Catherine was gone already.
She blinked a couple of times. That certainly had been one fast visit from her mother. Even for Lady Catherine this was a new record. So... she was to visit a couple of complete strangers in a week. All she needed now was some time to think it over.
Chapter 1
After a few hours of quiet reflection, Anne came to the conclusion that she liked the idea of giving up Rosings for the Northern counties. Ever since Darcy's marriage her mother had been insufferable, either complaining or threatening or abusing... Anne was sick of it. There was no quiet moment at Rosings whenever her mother was upset about something, and taking a walk in search of solitude was not an option either, since she was not allowed to go out by herself. Yes, indeed she was looking forward to next Tuesday...
However, only a day after Lady Catherine's speech, a letter arrived ruining all her hopes of escaping her mother. It was from Sir Morton, again, stating that unfortunately Mrs Morton's mother had become gravely ill. They had already arrived in town to look after her, but it was likely their stay was going to be of some duration, so Anne's visit would have to be pulled of for some months.
That Lady Catherine was angry would be an understatement: she was furious.
"Miss?" Mandy, Anne's maid, asked carefully as she peeked around the door.
"Yes?"
"Mrs. De Bourgh is requesting you to come down for dinner at once."
That her mother would even send a servant to get her downstairs was a sign for Anne that she was serious, but Anne didn't cared. There was no way she was going to sit with her mother when the latter was as angry as she was now. The whole day had been filled with insults directed at Sir Morton as well as Darcy, and Anne could stand no more.
"Tell her I am not feeling very well, and will be taking my dinner in my room." She instructed her maid and after a second added, "And as she probably will be most displeased for my not joining her, I suggest you ask some of the elder staff-members, who are used to her explosions, to give the message. She can become really nasty to the messenger, so I have noticed." With a wink and an encouraging smile she turned back to her book.
Mandy blushed at this information from her mistress but nevertheless closed the door and went to get Lady Catherine's personal servant, Mrs Dandell, who already served Her Ladyship for some good thirty years.
Anne continued in her book, a most entertaining novel, when suddenly the doorbell was heard downstairs. She tried to think of someone they could be expecting, but came to the conclusion there was nobody they were looking forward to. Curious, she left her room. She heard someone bouncing up the stairs, and as she turned around the corner, she bumped into no one other than her own cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam.
With his more than reasonable speed, Anne fell back and tumbled against a nearby table. The exclusive vase that was displayed on top of it, a great pride of Lady Catherine, wobbled dangerously, and then tumbled on the floor where it burst into pieces.
Richard looked down with surprise. "Anne! Good Lord, did you hurt anything? Here, let me help you up," he cried as he lifted her up as if lifting a feather.
"Cousin Richard," Anne whispered shyly, "Thank you, I am fine."
"Well, thank God for that! I am so sorry! What if I had injured my own Cousin? Surely, you must punish me for flying about your house like that. What shall it be? Five hits with the whip?" He smiled broadly at her.
Anne felt her stomach flutter and managed a little smile to spread across her features. "No Cousin, I shall spare you, but beware for if it happens again, my wrath shall be very grand indeed!" she said in a teasing tone.
Richard laughed out loud, and offered her his arm. "I came upstairs, for I was told you were in your sitting room, but that Lady Catherine was in the dining room, and... a bit moody. So I chose the safe way, I chose to join you."
Anne smiled at him and took his arm as they turned in the direction of her rooms.
Then her eye suddenly fell on the broken vase. "Oh no!" she cried, as she let go of her cousin's arm and knelt down by the remaining of the vase. "Look, Richard look!"
"Isn't that one of the... of the most... expensive pieces of art Lady Cat possesses? The one she is always... bragging about?" he asked, feeling suddenly very uncomfortable.
"The very one" Anne whispered, thinking she might burst into tears at any moment now. Her mother was chagrined already, what would she be then if she found out her vase was broken?
"My God," Richard sighed, already picturing the scene of Lady Catherine throwing him out of the house just five minutes after his arrival. "Uhm... well yes, shall we... shall we clean it up? Or... or should we... should we go and get... get her?"
Anne looked up at him with big eyes. "No! How can you even consider that? We cannot get her! Richard, saying she has been moody today is the understatement of the year! Let's... let's clean it up."
She stood up quickly. "Yes, let's clean it up quickly before anyone sees it. Can you stay here while I go and get Mandy? She is the only one I dare telling this, she will never tell Mother."
Richard nodded his assent and Anne ran away softly. He stayed behind most uncomfortably. What if his aunt would come up now? How would she react if she saw him standing next to her broken treasure? The very thought alone sent chills through his body.
However, his fears turned out to be unfounded, as Anne and a young girl returned after a few minutes without Lady Catherine making an appearance.
No time was wasted and soon there was no trace of their ever having been a vase on the floor.
But then they faced the next problem: there was no trace of a vase on the table either.
Anne looked up unhappily. "What now?" she asked with dread filling her voice.
Richard looked at the table for a few moments with a troubled look, but then a smile slowly formed its way up his face. "Is Lady Catherine very fond of vases?" he asked with a smile.
Anne, extremely confused and not understanding what this had to do with anything, answered him with curiosity clearly audible. "Yes, I suppose so. She has different kinds standing all over the house. But what does that has to do with anything? She will clearly miss this one, I assure you, for I have never seen her pass it without keeping her pace so she can see it standing here."
"This has everything to do with it, Dear Cousin, for if she has so many of them, why don't we search for a cheap one, one she will not miss, that looks just like our broken friend here?"
After not too much searching, Anne and Richard found a vase that was quite similar to ‘their broken friend’, as Richard called it. There were of course small differences which had made one extremely expensive and one extremely cheap. However, they looked quite alike, so Anne and Richard placed it on the little table and then resumed their journey to Anne’s sitting parlour. When they were comfortably settled, Anne questioned Richard about his sudden arrival.
“So, Cousin, to what do we own this pleasure?”
“What pleasure?”
“Come on, be serious. You know what I am talking about.”
“All right, all right. And to answer your question, I am not entirely sure why I’m here.”
Anne looked at him quizzically. “Why not?”
“Well, because one moment my father got a letter from Darce, and the next moment I was told to go to Rosings in order to stand by your side. So I should ask you actually, why was I sent here, oh fair one?”
Anne giggled at his ‘Darce’, which was a name she would never use to address her strict cousin.
Richard raised an eyebrow. “What are you giggling about? You look like a little schoolgirl!”
“Oh, I beg your pardon!” Anne cried. “Just a second ago I was ‘the fair one’ and now I am a giggling schoolgirl? Don’t call me two different things at once!”
“I am not calling you two different things! I am sure there are many fair giggling schoolgirls out there!”
“Maybe there are, but still you cannot address me as one! Beware, or I will tell my Mother what names you call me!”
Richard made his eyes big with played shock. “No! Oh please, have mercy on me! Please!” he cried as he threw himself at Anne’s feet. “Not her! Oh have mercy, have mercy on me; I am just a simple Colonel! Just a simple man!”
At this point Ann couldn’t contain her laughter anymore, and just let it burst forth. Richard soon joined in.
When they both contained themselves again, Richard rose from the floor and sat down in a chair.
“This is much better,” he sighed. “Only if it is really necessary, like just now, I beg for mercy by kneeling down on the floor. It isn’t really comfortable you know. The General agreed with me just a few weeks ago. Said he thought it was damned uncomfortable.”
“I am sure it is, though I can’t say I know how it feels. I’ve never done it before. I’ve never had to I guess.” Anne smiled triumphantly.
“Lucky you. But anyway, let’s stick to the point. Why did my father told me to stand by you? It’s easy to guess that it has something to do with Lady Catherine’s bad humour, so what has happened that made her so angry?”
“Well, you know half the reason already. She is partly angry because Cousin Darcy is engaged to Miss Bennet, which I guess your father could predict. He sent you to me for that reason, and really, I am most thankful for that. But since Cousin Darcy’s engagement, something else happened to make her angry.”
“And… that may be?”
“Well, I was invited by Mother’s cousin, Sir August Morton, to stay with him and his family for a while. She was really pleased about that, but then he wrote again. Apparently Lady Morton’s mother has taken ill, and the visit was cancelled…”
“… and she’s really pissed about that.” Richard finished her sentence. “Hmm… seems to me like she is a bit overreacting, but who am I to judge?”
“Those were exactly my thoughts. But, really, she isn’t that bad. Okay, she’s angry, but that will pass.”
“I am sure it will Anne, but if I would not have been here, you would still be eating all alone in your room.” He nodded towards the tray of food before them. “For I assume that is your dinner?”
Anne blushed and nodded. “Yes, well, let’s say today was not her best day.”
Not long after Anne finished her dinner they made their way downstairs so Richard could greet Lady Catherine. He was received with all politeness and pleasure he was used to. Lady Catherine was also quick to persuade him to stay at Rosings for at least a few weeks, which Richard simply could not refuse. Anne smiled with satisfaction as he accepted. Suddenly she looked very forward to the next few weeks…
The next day Lady Catherine was unusually late with breakfast, so Anne and Richard ate together. They chatted away amiably, and decided to take a tour of the grounds after breakfast. So it happened that some time later Anne and Richard were walking around the park arm in arm, enjoying the beautiful weather.
Anne deeply inhaled the fresh air. “Oh, how I’ve missed this.” She sighed.
Richard looked at her for a second, and then softly answered, “Yes, you can never come outside alone of course. Isn’t there anyone who can go with you?”
“No, Mother and Mrs Jenkinson detest country-walks, and Mother does not want me to go out alone with a maid. She doesn’t trust them.”
“I see.”
“I just hate this stupid rule. I’m a big girl; surely I can walk out by myself! It just doesn’t make any sense!”
“Now, Anne, Lady Catherine may be severe on you, but you and I both know she doesn’t makes things up. It is dangerous for you to walk out by yourself, because you have a weak health. This doesn’t mean you cannot take a small walk, I grant you, but still your mother is just concerned about you and I understand that. I think you should know your limits and understand it as well.”
“You agree with her!” Anne cried angrily. “There I was, thinking you understood that I do not have a weak health, but you don’t! You are just like Lady Catherine! You believe her!”
“Anne, calm yourself! You misunderstand me!”
“No, I do not! I understand you perfectly well.” Anne answered coldly. “I understand you so well that I will now return inside. Goodbye, and have a nice walk, Richard” she said with anger flashing in her eyes. Then she turned away and practically ran back in the direction of the house.
“Anne, wait!” Richard yelled, but to no avail as Anne continued running. He sighed to himself as he stood there, now alone after one of the shortest walks he had ever taken. Surely he had not meant to anger her, but was he not right? Did Anne not have a weak health that would make it extremely dangerous for her to walk out by herself? But of course she did! He knew it, and probably Anne knew it also. The only problem was that she didn’t want to believe it.
But it had been wrong of him to point it out so cruelly. After all, she wanted nothing more than a friend to confide in, and what did he do? He immediately lectured her about things she was the least interested in! She just wished she was able to walk out by herself, and his reaction to this was helping her out of her dream! No, Richard came to the conclusion he had behaved very wretched indeed, and he felt miserable as he resumed his pace back to the house. He would apologise to Anne as soon as she wanted to see him again.
Anne ran away from Richard, but soon had to halt as she felt stabs in her side. She wasn’t used to running, and had to halt by a bench to rest for a few seconds. As she regained her breath, she walked on slowly in the direction of the house.
Once finally inside, she ignored Lady Catherine’s cries from the drawing room ‘if it was her’, and walked directly to her room. She let herself fall down in the window seat.
There she realised she was not really angry with her Cousin, but merely disappointed in him. Anne had always thought she and Richard had the same thoughts about Lady Catherine’s ridiculous schemes and rules. That her being wrong was now so cruelly proved, was an unexpected blow. Just as she was pouring her hart out before his feet, is was proved he agreed with her mother after all.
The sight of the very man her thoughts were on approaching the house interrupted her reverie. Even from this distance she could see he was not happy. His shoulders hung and his head was bowed downwards. He looked like a miserable little man, and Anne was surprised. There wasn’t time to study him however, for soon he entered the house and was out of sight.
Seeing him so miserable made Anne’s heart melt. Though she was still a bit angry, she didn’t want them to have a fight either. She valued their friendship to much, and therefore determined they should make up as soon as possible. Not now, of course, that would be too soon after their… walk, but this afternoon she would definitely single him out somewhere to talk things out.
Anne discovered Richard wanted to make up as eagerly as she did, for as she went in search of her cousin that afternoon, she had not set three steps outside her room when she bumped into him.
He startled and then just stared at her like an idiot.
“Uhm, Richard?” Anne asked carefully.
He seemed to wake up and remember what he had planned to do, for hastily he said, “Oh, hello Anne, sorry, I was just thinking about something. I… I want to talk to you… will you join me for…uhm… for,” he seemed to think hardly about where Anne could join him, “for a little stroll through the… rose garden?” he ended looking a bit helpless.
Anne pitied him and was quick to consent.
Once outside Richard shot her a distracted smile. “I was really afraid you would stay mad at me, you know. Not that I would have blamed you, I behaved like a total idiot this morning!”
“No!” Anne cried immediately, “Surely not! I completely overreacted; you were just giving your opinion like any normal person would!”
“No really, that was not ‘just giving my opinion’, I was lecturing you about something that is so totally not my business! You were giving your honest opinion about how you feel towards all those stupid little rules you have to keep at. In return I didn’t even think before saying what I shouldn’t have. Really, Anne, please accept my apologies, and I hope you will in time forget my shameful behaviour.”
“Now, Cousin Richard, I do not need your apologies. You have nothing to apologise for!”
“Anne, don’t start that again. I absolutely insist, just accept it.”
“All right then. I will accept yours if you accept mine. There is no excuse for my outburst this morning, even though I was right of course.” She stuck out her tongue at him.
“That’s how I know you Cousin! Friends then?” he asked.
“Friends,” Anne said solemnly while extending her hand for a friendly shake.
Richard didn’t have that in mind however, for he captured her hand and then slowly placed a kiss upon it. Anne gasped softly as she looked into his eyes. She was surprised at what she saw there. Could it be… love?
Richard couldn’t stop himself; before he knew it he was kissing her hand. The temptation had been too great for him. He looked up at her, and saw she was surprised, but wasn’t protesting either.
It was then that he totally lost his senses; he didn’t thought a second time about what he was doing. All he knew was that he saw that lovely face, with that beautiful mouth, and all what he wanted at that moment was kiss her. Without thinking he acted on his impulses, and captured her mouth with his.
Anne was surprised at the very least when Richard, her Cousin Richard who she had known all these years suddenly bent forward and kissed her. She was shocked at first, and her head told her to break away. But it felt too good. Before she knew it, she was captured into a passionate kiss, and she realised this was what she wanted.
Their kiss deepened, Anne felt desire bubbling up inside her. But she had to break of, any longer without oxygen and surely she would faint.
As they stood there, both gasping for breath, Richard realised what he had done. What would she think of him now?