Jump to new as of June 24, 2002

Chapter 1

... the situation of your mother's family, though objectionable, was nothing in comparison of the total want of propriety so frequently, so almost uniformly betrayed by herself, by your three younger sisters, and occasionally even by your father...

My Dearest Jane,

Such a turn of events, I cannot believe it to be true. Yesterday, while I was writing to our father, and the others of the party were visiting with Lady Catherine (I had stayed home, pleading a head-ache), Mr. Darcy came to call. Exhibiting his usual proudness and arrogance of manner, and here I know you will not believe me, Jane, he asked me to marry him. Of course, it had never occurred to me that such a man should wish to marry me, and the manner of his declaration included rather scathing references to the position and propriety of my family, so of course I refused him. Also prominent in my mind were Wickham's accusations regarding Darcy's treatment of him, and I voiced these to him along with my refusal. You know enough of my frankness to believe it. I suppose I handled it quite badly, really, feeling insulted by the means of his proposal, I said some quite harsh things. When he left, I cried. I couldn't sleep last night, and left early this morning for my ramble, hoping to gather my thoughts.

Of course, I encountered him in the woods. He said he had been wandering for some time in the hope of meeting me, and he gave me a letter which he bade me read. I was extremely uncomfortable to be in his presence, and I was concerned that his letter contained a continuation of his sentiments towards me of the previous day, but against my better judgement, I accepted it. We parted company, I did not trust myself to speak to him, so I strode off and read the letter on my walk. He was completely unrepentant as to his offensive remarks regarding our family, so I shan't repeat his writings on that subject. However, I feel positively dreadful about Mr. Wickham. It would seem that what he said about the connection between their families was true, however, Mr. Wickham requested monetary compensation instead of the living he was promised, and he received this weighty sum, professing a desire to learn the Law. Instead, he sank into debauchery, and here I rely upon your confidence, he persuaded Mr. Darcy's sister to elope with him, and it was only prevented by Mr. Darcy's unexpected arrival and Miss Georgiana's confession of the plot to him.

And here, dearest Jane, I find myself in a quandary. I feel awful, sickish even, in thinking about the episode, and I still do not desire his affections. However, I wish to assure him that I believe his version of events regarding Mr. Wickham, and I think I may write to him of this. I fear I shall have to put my pride away.

And Jane, there is one thing which most convinced me against him. I heard lately from Colonel Fitzwilliam, Mr. Darcy's cousin, that D. was rather proud of having prevented his friend from having engaged in a rather imprudent match. Further questioning has informed me that Mr. Darcy, along with Mr. Bingley's sisters, concealed their knowledge of your presence in Town. I am so sorry about this turn in your fortunes, but Mr. Darcy assures me that the thing which most convinced him to advise his friend against the match, was his belief in your indifference. I find it most puzzling that he should prevent his friend from courting you because he believed the love to be unequal, yet he should propose to me when he could have no doubt as to my opinion of him. I cannot see it, but that he has little respect for his friend's judgement and feelings, or else perhaps, is willing to undertake a loveless marriage himself, but cannot see his friend follow the same path.

I shall think on it further, Jane, and I shall write to him. I am sorry to tell you of the cause for your unhappiness, but rest assured, Mr. Bingley's sentiments seem to be unchanged. I shall endeavour to convince Mr. Darcy that his interference was not necessary, and his opinions unfounded.

I miss very much your company and our talks.

With love,

Lizzy.

Mr. Darcy,

It is now three times that I have read your letter, and I confess I am still unsure of what to make of it. Please allow me to apologise for my accusations regarding Mr. Wickham. I had accepted his version of events without question, and should have known better, that there are two sides to every story, and those whose anecdotes are continually of being done out of what they rightfully deserve, may be concealing the true cause of their misfortunes. Mr. Wickham's allegations seemed all too plausible, and have, unfortunately, been accepted as gospel by many people in Hertfordshire. I intend to keep confidence in respect to this matter, given that it concerns your sister's reputation, but I believe that, without going into specifics, I shall make it known that he is not to be trusted.

I am extremely unhappy, still, about your interference between Mr. Bingley and my own sister. I find it tremendously illogical that you should protect your friend from what you believed to be an indifferent connection, yet you feel no such objections on your own behalf, and while I have the same connections, or lack thereof, as my sister, but lacking her serenity am clearly disposed against you. I would beg you to meddle no longer in Mr. Bingley's affairs.

While I am grateful for your information regarding Mr. Wickham's true character, my feelings towards you are unchanged. Until I can be convinced that your character is not one of arrogance and selfish disdain for the feelings of others, I could never care for you.

EB

The next morning

Elizabeth arose early the next morning, conscious of a great uneasiness in her spirit. Her anger with Mr. Darcy had abated from the full-blown rage it had been the previous day, and while she was not in any way enamoured of him, she could not say that she despised him, either. What she did feel was mortification at her own behaviour, which was lessened to a certain degree by the knowledge that Mr. Darcy's had been worse. It was not uncommon, she supposed in a sympathetic moment, for gentlemen as nervous as Mr. Darcy had clearly been, to become agitated and speak in a manner most unbecoming. The sad truth was that Mr. Darcy's comments were offensive precisely because they struck the mark. Elizabeth was certainly aware of the relative poverty of her situation, and she was frequently most vexed regarding the impropriety of her family's behaviour, especially her mother's and Lydia's. As one who prided herself on her frankness, she supposed she could not resent it in others, much as she might wish for it to be coupled with a modicum of tact, especially when asking for her hand in marriage.

With a sigh, Elizabeth began to dress. In fact, she thought, the problem was largely that he was socially a very awkward man. If it were not for that and his arrogance, which had led him to tamper with Mr. Bingley's emotions, she would have no objection. Aside from her own indifference, of course; there could be no reason to hate him were he not so eminently hate-able. She smiled wistfully as she called for a maid to fix her hair.

The subsequent visit to Rosings was even more difficult than usual. Lady Catherine, never a terribly enjoyable conversationalist, was anxious because her daughter's health was worse than usual. Thus it was a relief when Georgiana, Mr. Darcy's far more charming sister, called Elizabeth to sit with her. Not only was Elizabeth uncomfortable around Mr. Darcy, to the extent of being unable to meet his eyes, but Miss Bingley was spreading her usual cheer about the place. Added to this, there was great tension between Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy, neither of them comfortable with the other's glance, both sure of their own poor behaviour, and utterly confused as to the feelings of the other. Elizabeth had fervently wished to stay at the Parsonage today, apprehending that such uneasiness would occur, but Charlotte had advised her that, considering her absence due to headache the previous visit, Lady Catherine would not take her absence today at all well, and would either send a doctor to attend to her apparently grievous headache, or would visit herself, suspecting other motives behind her non-attendance, and impress upon Elizabeth the honour of her acquaintance.

And so Elizabeth, resigned to a day of strained society, was extremely grateful for the presence of Miss Darcy, her unexpected suitor's younger sister, whose acquaintance she had made earlier in her visit, in the days prior to Mr. Darcy's proposal. Elizabeth sat with Miss Darcy as she played on the pianoforte, turning the pages for her.

"Miss Bennet, I shall miss you dreadfully when we leave tomorrow," she sighed, after a particularly difficult piece.

"Goodness, how time flies! Yes, I shall miss you too."

"Miss Bennet," Miss Darcy hesitated. "Would you write to me?"

Elizabeth was quite taken aback. "Yes, of course."

Now Georgiana looked shy. More quietly, and with her glance slightly averted from Elizabeth's eyes, she said, "If you should ever want to write to anyone else in the area, I'd be happy to pass on the message for you..."

Elizabeth, now beyond her shock, glanced at Mr. Darcy, and found that while he, too, looked surprised, his countenance displayed the closest approximation of a smile that she had ever seen on him. So that's how it is, she thought. Miss Darcy is aware of her brother's feelings. I wonder if she knows that he proposed? This was hardly the time for asking such a question, however, and she responded, "Thank you. I shall bear that in mind."

And with that, their conversation ended. Lady Catherine wished to hold court once more, and drew them back into the main part of the drawing-room.

Elizabeth did not think again of her agreement with Miss Darcy until she was home at Longbourn. There she found a letter already, waiting for her, from Miss Darcy.

Chapter 2

Dear Miss Bennet,

We have been in London for three days now. I have missed your company, despite my days being filled with visits with London friends I rarely see. We shall be here for another week and a half, and then my brother and I shall return to Pemberley. May we call on you and your sisters at Longbourn on our way? I should dearly love to meet Kitty, after hearing so much about her, and Charles, that is, Mr. Bingley, speaks most fondly of Jane.

I can scarcely wait to be home at Pemberley. Returning at this time of year, the woods are so beautiful, alive with birds and bursting with colour. Perhaps you shall see it one day.

I have been practicing my music more often, as Lady Catherine bade me, but I confess I still lack the confidence to perform to people other than my brother. Miss Bingley's flattery exhausts and discomfits me, so I play only when she is out visiting. I confess I have been spending much time alone. My brother, too, has been quieter than usual since we left Rosings. Do you know what could be the matter with him, Elizabeth? When I ask him, he simply looks at me sadly, and changes the subject, or even tells me it is not my concern. He has been spending much time alone in his library, or riding. We make an unhappy pair, but I confess I believe we would be happier alone.

Send me word, then, Miss Bennet, of your life. How are your sisters? And how are your friends in Hertfordshire? I am sure you must be glad to return to your family and friends.

Georgiana Darcy.

Dear Miss Darcy,

My sisters and I are all very well. I arrived at Longbourn yesterday, and Jane, my eldest sister, the day before. I had been very much missing her company, and our father missing both of ours, so, yes, it is very good to be home. However, I shall be embarking upon a tour of the Lakes District very soon, in three weeks in fact, so I should enjoy my time at home while it lasts, although I shall be very pleased to spend time with my favourite aunt and uncle, with whom we are travelling.

My youngest sister, Lydia, has been invited by the Colonel of the local regiment to accompany his wife on a trip to Brighton. Lydia is very much looking forward to it. I have some reservations as to the wisdom of the plan, particularly regarding the doubtful character of a certain person we know in the regiment. I have passed this intelligence on to my father, of whose confidence there can be no doubt, and he has warned Lydia in the strongest possible terms about the character 0f this gentleman, without revealing the particulars of his victims.

So, with myself, Jane and Lydia preparing to leave, one would think the house should be empty, with only my parents, Mary and Kitty remaining. However, my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner's four children shall be remaining at Longbourn during our tour of the Lakes. Kitty enjoys their company, which may be some consolation, as she wishes she were able to accompany Lydia to Brighton. Mary, always older than her years, finds our cousins' exuberance a little trying at times, I am afraid.

As to your brother, I am not sure what to tell you. It could be that one of his business interests is troubling him, or perhaps he is missing Lady Catherine's esteemed company, just as I am. Either way, I am sure his spirits will recover soon, and please do not concern yourself, gentlemen seem to become dejected from time to time, he will recover. I would very much like for you to call on my family at Longbourn, and if you like, I shall assess your brother's condition for myself, and give you further advice as to its cause and remedy.

Elizabeth Bennet.