Posted on Sunday, 22 June 2003
Dear Jane,
I write to you in great distress. Be not alarmed, everyone in Pemberley is well and we have suffered no misfortune. What I refer to pertains to me. Dear Jane, I fear, I begin to behave the way our late mother used to when we were in our early twenties.
Yesterday, as we sat to dinner, Mr. Darcy informed me and Anne, Jane and Daisy that we are to expect on Saturday, a visit from Mr. Camertson, who as you know, will inherit Pemberley after the demise of Mr. Darcy. Can you imagine that my first thought was that Mr. Camertson would marry one of my daughters! As the girls asked their father questions about Mr. Camertson whom we haven't seen for more than fifteen years, my mind wandered off and I caught myself thinking that Mr. Camertson would be the best match for Anne. She was the eldest and by far the plainest of my three daughters. As soon as I thought that, I wanted to cry. Before even meeting the man, I mentally married my daughter off to him!!!
For the remainder of yesterday's evening I tried to pay attention to what was happening at the table but with little success. I was so distracted! All I could think of was how the girls will do in life. Mr. Darcy was responding to Daisy's question when he noticed my agitated expression and looked at me quizzically but said nothing and continued to explain to Daisy what he thought of Mr. Camertson. Mr. Camertson seems to be a sensible gentleman. He is the grandson of Mr. Darcy's aunt on the paternal side. He lives in Scotland and spent some time in America. His letter showed no improper features of character and I think Mr. Darcy decided to give him a fair chance to introduce himself to us. The visit is on Mr. Darcy's invitation and Daisy declared that she does not mind getting better acquainted with the gentleman if he indeed is what Mr. Darcy tells us he is.
Daisy resembles me so much. She is nineteen now and so much the way I was at that age. She is witty and intelligent and when she laughs, it seems as if every inch of her body was laughing. Being the youngest one in the family, she is my favourite child. Do you remember that Lydia was mother's favourite child? I come to think that it was because mother saw a younger version of herself in Lydia, just as I see myself in Daisy. I know that Anne thinks that I love her less than I do Daisy. It is not so, but I realise that I love her in a very different way that I love Daisy. Anne resembles the Fitzwilliams and I suppose that's why she was always the favourite with her uncle General Fitzwilliam and his wife. During the life of Mrs. Fitzwilliam, Anne was often a visitor to Rosings. Speaking of which, I wonder who will inherit Rosings? I suppose children of Richard's brother, the Earl come first in line but I wouldn't mind seeing Anne settled as the heiress to Rosings. But then, it would be much better if Jane married Mr. Camertson. That way, I would have two of my daughters well settled in life.
My daughter Jane is a faithful copy of the Darcy females and she is her father's favourite although he never admits to it. I doubt, he admits it to himself, even. Jane looks so much like Georgiana when she was her age and Daisy looks so much like me. Such a pity that my son have died. Bennet, Anne's twin, would be four and twenty this year and William Charles - sixteen.
What a curse it is to have an estate entailed away from the female line! If only Georgiana had sons, but she too has only daughters. I am perfectly aware that the situation of my daughters is not as bad as ours was. They each have a dowry of fifty thousand pounds and not a mere fifty pounds per annum as we had. Can you hear what I've just written! All I think about is money, entail and marrying off my daughters! Is this what happens to any mother, who turned six and forty and has three grown-up daughters, or is it only me and my mother?
What am I to do?
Yours,
Lizzy