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Chapter 17
When Mrs. Gardiner was finally able to return to the parlour, as soon as Fortuna had decided to show mercy for a young boy in despair and given him his beloved teddy bear back, she hesitated before pushing the door handle down. Inside the room, her ears could not perceive the ordinary loudness of a normal polite conversation, but more subdued and softer sounds. Resting her look on the closed oak door, Mrs. Gardiner smiled to herself and hoped that some solitary minutes might lead to the outcome, which her husband and she had hoped for during the last weeks. Turning around, she decided to see the cook and order a special dinner in order to celebrate this day.
Meanwhile, in the parlour, the lovers indulged themselves in the intensive happiness which only the affirmation that you love and your feelings are returned with full extend can bestow on a human being. Indeed, Lizzy had experienced Mr. Darcy never less reserved and withdrawn during their whole acquaintance and sent a silent prayer of thanks to heaven that some how she had been cured from her initial prejudices and thus had been enabled to get to know the wonderful personality Darcy hid behind his mask of snobbery. Yet this train of thoughts brought the source of her better knowledge into her mind and she blushed at the impropriety of her behaviour.
Taking his beloved's change of colour for the expression of newly aroused maiden shyness, Mr. Darcy leant forward and raised his hand carefully and started to caress her cheek gently and addressed her thus, "Miss Bennet, Elizabeth ...I ..." Here, his voice broke and he looked anxiously in to her face, surprised at his own audacity to address her with her first name. Yet the events of the last hour had not managed to subdue Lizzy's mirth and she smiled mischievously at her fiancé,
"Mr. Darcy, sir. I assume you intended to mention something I presume."
Laughing heartily at her playful address, Mr. Darcy returned her quip with his new found easiness and reminded her, "I suppose that, on the present level of our acquaintance, a less formal address might be more appropriate, though I admit the novelty makes it a bit difficult in the beginning, Elizabeth," he added and reminded her that Darcy was not his given name, though most people address him with his family name. "They simple dislike the length and difficulty of my first name, " he continued and resumed, giving her hand a little squeeze, "but I am sure you could pronounce it properly."
Again blushing a little, she called him with his given name "Fitzwilliam" and he leant forward, cupping her face into his hand and gently putting a finger under her chin, and there lips had only met for the briefest but most intensive second, when the parlour door opened.
Entering into the room, Mr. Gardiner hoped to find the comforting picture of his wife surrounded by their children and their niece in the parlour, the best cure after a long day's work. Instead of six happy face beaming at him, he only saw two, deeply red, who did not seem to be too overjoyed by his arrival. Before he could say anything, he heard his wife call from the other end of the hall, "My dear, don't enter the parlour at the moment. I need your help upstairs."
Yet, her intervention came to late and they both looked very amusedly at the picture of a young embarrassed couple sitting there. Exchanging a glance with Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy stood up and turned to Mr. and Mrs. Gardiner, "Mrs. Gardiner, Mr. Gardiner. Your niece has done me the greatest honour in accepting my hand in marriage."
A smile of relive and happiness appeared on the older couple's faces and they rushed forward to offer their most heartfelt congratulation, which dissolved into a loud, joyous laughter upon Mrs. Gardiner's exclamation "Finally!"
Of course, Mt. Darcy accepted the invitation to stay for dinner and in the course of the meal, it was agreed upon the fact that Mr. Darcy would set off in three day's time to accompany the Gardiners to Longbourn, where they would drop Lizzy on their way to Ireland, and ask Mr. Bennet for his approval. Mr. Gardiner suggested additionally that he should write a letter to his brother-in-law and prepare him a little for these news.
Shortly after the dinner, Mr. Darcy excused himself and prepared to leave for his own town house because he wanted to share his joy with his little sister Georgina. Waiting in the hallway with her fiancé for the arrival of his carriage, Lizzy could not help but pouting a little on the thought of being separated from her love so shortly after dinner because he wanted to see his sister. Reprimanding herself at her egotism, she could not help but dreading any thoughts of separation, even if it was only a night. She was surprised about the strength of this emotions and could not explain a feeling of fear, which was creeping in the back of her mind. Seeing his love shiver a litter, Darcy put his arm around her shoulders comfortingly and whispered into her ears, with all his happiness expressed in his tone of voice,
"My love, I was never so happy in my life before. Even the Gods must envy us!" He smiled at her, before he climbed into his carriage and allowed his gaze to linger on his beloved, before the horses pulled on. Before the vehicle had disappeared around the corner, an enormous bang announced the outbreak of a wild thunderstorm, whose furious lightening tore the peaceful darkness of the night's sky into pieces. Heavy raindrops exploded on the pavement and an outraged storm wind whipped the trees, causing Lizzy to seek hurriedly shelter in the house.
Heaven thundered with Fortuna's anger at those undeserving human beings, who, in the hour of their happiness, forgot to thank humbly their great benefactor. Instead, they indulged themselves in typical human hubris and, denying their own mortality, they dared to compare themselves to the divine. Outrage turned favour into jealousy and tender concern into a sharp knife which played meanly with the thinnest horsehair, which hold the Sword of Damocles hanging above the human heads. A quick movement and it will crash down bringing destruction and misery with him, accompanied by the Goddess' triumphant laugh.
Chapter 18 (Revised)
Awaking the next morning to the heavy scent of more than a fifty red roses in a delightful bouquet positioned on a night stand, sweetened Lizzy's disappointment on reading the card by her fiancé, informing her that business demands prevented him from seeing her this morning. The tender note finished with an expression of his hope that his visit would still be welcome in the late afternoon. Contenting herself with these prospects and feeling more than happy despite the storm, which was still raging and covering the whole of London into a black cloth, Lizzy's thoughts were more agreeably engaged. Later, she joined her relations for breakfast and accepted her aunt's invitation to accompany her to the seamstress, after having received the affirmation that they would be back home early in the afternoon.
While her aunt talked to the seamstress about a new dress the wanted to order and discussed different patterns, Lizzy walked to the back of the shop and scanned a showcase's display, when she heard from a cubicle a very familiar shrill voice, "...My dear Louisa, you can imagine my displeasure, when I called on the Darcys yesterday afternoon and had sat for more than one hour with Georgina without her brother returning from his errand. After some inquiry, the girl informed me delightedly that he paid a visit to a family of the name Gardiner, residing in Cheapside. She added that Mr. Darcy was not likely to return home too early because he seems to take great pleasure in the company of Miss Elizabeth Bennet! I can only assume that the young girl must have misunderstood something. Remember how much be was disgusted by the Bennets' bad manners, their vulgarity and low connections. Unbelievable that he of all people should seek that company! I will never forget the great service her rendered our family on poor Charles' behalf, if it was not for him and his great influence on Charles, we would be connected to those people residing at Cheapside. Of course, Jane Bennet was a sweet thing and she did not have great difficulties in trapping our brother, but finally Darcy could persuade him to give up his nonsensical plans of buying a ring in London. 'This young woman is not worth your affection, her serenity hides a cold, calculating heart, those were Mr. Darcy's warnings and remember how he had to fight to disillusion poor Charles by convincing him that all the Bennets' have only mercenary interests." Here a dramatic sigh followed and the voices faded away upon the entrance of a shop girl bringing some items.
Looking down at her hands, Lizzy realized that her knuckles had turned white and she loosened her tight grip slowly from the wood, when the sad face of Jane appeared in her mind and became an all-determining picture. All the memories of her sister's patient suffering, her less cheerful and more melancholic conduct and the pain hidden behind her soft eyes formed the starting point of a powerful emotional spiral, a storm of thoughts and feelings in which Lizzy saw her fiancé. Doubts began to gnaw at her conviction and anger and disappointment only received little opposition from the timid voices of trust and faith. The happy face of love was clouded once again by old reawaken prejudices. The only clear thoughts Lizzy could fix where the picture of Jane in front of her inner eye and the wish to escape from the shop without encountering Miss Bingley.
Seeing her niece's pale face, Mrs. Gardiner rushed to her side and enquired after her health, whereupon she decided to take Lizzy home and allow her to rest. Though Mrs. Gardiner feared that something had upset Lizzy, she did not press Lizzy's confidence and simply bestowed her unobtrusive sympathy on the young shaking girl.
The weather had not improved and the dark sky sounded with another enormous thunder which resembled strangely a cruel laugh. The storm had reached a new intensity, which made it difficult to walk without falling down. Supporting her niece and protecting her against the full impact of the weather, Mrs. Gardiner rushed to the carriage and told the coachman to hurry. Shortly after them, two fashionable left the shop and fled to their own vehicle. Mrs. Gardiner was concerned by her niece's uncharacteristic silence.
Chapter 19
Arriving at her townhouse, it was Mrs. Gardiner's utmost concern to ensure that her niece would be able to take the much needed rest, when a foreign carriage standing in front of their doorway caught her attention and she saw her housekeeper anxiously peering through a window. Before she could reach for the handle, the door was slammed open by a very frightened looking servant Arriving at her townhouse, it was Mrs. Gardiner's utmost concern to ensure that her niece would be able to take the much needed rest, when a foreign carriage standing in front of their doorway caught her attention and she saw her housekeeper anxiously peering through a window.
Before she could reach for the handle, the door was slammed open by a very frightened looking servant, who was about to whisper something, when a voice thundered from within the hall, "I assume your mistress has finally returned, so don't stand in the doorway man. Let them in, for I don't wish to stay here any loner than I have to!".
Being startled by this rude and authoritical voice, which even seemed to be able to combat the thunder outside, Mrs. Gardiner set her step indignantly into her hall, in to which a stranger had trespassed, and she saw an old matron sitting on her husband's best chair in the very middle of the hall, "I suppose your are Mrs. Gardiner. Do not hide your niece behind you, for it will not help her at all. I am most seriously displeased, as the most alarming news have demanded my immediate intervention. I wish to talk to your niece privately." Feeling her temper rising, Mrs. Gardiner was about to ask her to leave immediately, when the stranger added, "I am Lady Catherine e Bourgh, the aunt of Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy."
Seeing into the white face of her niece, Mrs. Gardiner made a protective movement, trying to support her pale nice, when she caught the young woman's eye, in which she perceived a feverish sparkle. She straightened her figure and met looked coldly at her Ladyship, "If you would be so kind, aunt Madeline, as to allow me the privacy of your parlour for my conversation with Lady Catherine de Bourgh, I am sure it won't be long. Don't worry."
Following the matron, who stepped into the small room majestically, Lizzy closed the door deliberately behind her and awaited Lady Catherine's address, "I don't know which art and allurements you have employed to draw my poor nephew in, young woman. You may have robbed him of his senses, but don't think that you will be allowed to pursue this line unhampered, for there are still his relations on guard to defend his honour, on which you trample recklessly. Those worries drove me back from by seclusion to the noisy town. Be warned, Miss Bennet and I demand that you swear me never to enter into an engagement with him or release him from any chains in which you might have already succeeded in trapping him. It is only for your own good, Miss Bennet, for neither his family or society would accept you as the new Mistress of Pemberley. Seek your fortune, where you belong and therefore heed my advice."
Looking expectantly at the young woman sitting opposite her, awaiting her signs of feed, when a Lizzy slightly faltered, but she never averted her gaze, "I don't know how Mr. Darcy accepts your intrusion into his privacy, but I won't allow it for my self and will not answer your questions."
Being upon to leave the room, Lizzy was stopped by Lady Catherine's continuing "Your stubbornness does not recommend you, Miss Bennet, it shows only that you possess little understanding. I will try to speak to you in terms which might be more comprehendible for you. His family is ready to pay you a, let's it call a financial compensation in order to protect my poor inexperienced nephew and bring him back on the right path. I await your demands, Miss Bennet, if it is the only way from preventing my Mr. Darcy from bringing himself into disrepute by a misalliance."
Turning as pale as the white wall behind her, Lizzy rose and addressed Lady Catherine thus, "You have offended me in way possible and therefore, I take my leave."
Again, the lady stopped her, this time by grabbing her arm and leaning forward to her. Sighing, she resumed her speech with a false smile and in a fake confidential tone, "Maybe, I have underestimated you, Miss Bennet, and your manners are not as poor as your position in life. At least, you seem to possess at least pride, though I cannot detect any sense of propriety or respect for my nephew's welfare in your egoistical conduct. Your impulsive reaction shows me that you might not only have mercenary interests in Mr. Darcy, therefore, Miss Bennet, accept the advice and caution from a wiser and more experienced woman than yourself, who wants to prevent you from pain. I suppose that my nephew has neglected to inform you about an important aspect of his life. He is already engaged to my own daughter Ann."
Seeing the words of incredulous contradiction being formed on Lizzy's lips, her ladyship handed her a piece of paper and a ring. Scanning the items before her eyes, Lizzy recognized a notary seal and Mr. Darcy's signature under a marriage contract, which bore Darcy's and Miss de Bourgh's name. Yet when her eyes got hold of the ring, she started trembling and Lady Catherine, following her eyes, added, "It was my own dear sister's ring. It was given to Ann a long time ago as the seal of a mutual agreement. "Raising, the lady smiled at Lizzy and concluded her victory, "So you see, Miss Bennet, you had no change from the beginning because this piece of paper would have enabled me to prevent the misalliance in any case with legal means. I simply preferred to spare my family the public exposure." When the old woman had left the room, wearing a triumphant smile and being applauded by Fortuna, Lizzy sank into her chair, remaining motionless, her eyes straying, focusing on everything and nothing at the same time.
Later, she joined her family, ignoring their questions and concerned looks, and buried herself into a book, waiting. She did not finish one single page, before the doorbell rang, announcing a visitor. The thunderstorm was still raging with unchanged power.
Chapter 20
Lizzy started at the sound and quickly excused herself, fleeing around the corner to the library. The familiar tones of Mr. Darcy in the next room reached Lizzy in the library, where she then wished that she had gone to her room. "Good evening, Mrs. and Mr. Gardiner." Darcy could be heard exchanging pleasantries with them before he came to the point which Lizzy dreaded, inquiring after her.
"Oh Lizzy, she's been a bit under the weather, for which we attribute her constant reading and staying indoors." Mr. Gardiner interjected, "But who can blame her in this weather! The only guest she has been able to receive was a Miss...what was her name, dear?"
"Lady Catherine de Bourgh." Darcy's cool countenance changed more dramatically than either could have expected; his half smile vanished completely and his posture straightened and his fists clenched. "I trust that Elizabeth is well enough to see one more visitor, for I was hoping to inquire about Lady Catherine directly."
"You'll find Lizzy where she always is, in the library. Do you know where it is, sir?" But before she could receive a response, he was around the corner, catching the tail end of a dress rushing back into the room.
"Elizabeth? Is that you." He entered the darkness, where he could be seen in the hall-light, but Lizzy was quite invisible to him, except for her rapid breathing. "I hope my aunt has not done anything to startle you in any way. I had heard she was in town, but could not prevent her coming."
Lizzy appeared in the striking of match and the quite movements of her lighting a candle, revealing a face contorted in anger and disgust, made all the worse by the dancing candle light. Her not responding made Darcy fear the worst and he made rapid apologies. "You know, Elizabeth, that she wants only the best, for which no blame can be cast."
"Mr. Darcy," she began, barely able to keep her voice from shaking, "Perhaps she has the best intentions for you, but do you have the best intentions for me, sir?"
Darcy faltered, "Elizabeth," he added quickly, "what is the matter? What did my aunt say? How can you doubt my intentions?"
"How can I doubt your intentions, sir?! I have received every proof of the falsity of those claims, which I let deceive me."
"Deceive!" he started. "I do not know what these so called proofs may be, but I assure you they are false! If I am to be blamed, I ask you tell me what they so that I might defend myself."
"It is something of which there can be no doubt, sir. I have all the proof I need to have to know that your excellent defense would not even be adequate to change the truth."
The violence built in Darcy's voice. "Very well then! If you refuse to hear my defense and insist on accusing me, then we have nothing to say to one another."
Elizabeth, hurt and frustrated, turned her back on him and walked to the window. In a much quieter tone said, "How could you...?" Darcy was confused and hesitant. Part of him wanted to go to comfort her, but the pride he fostered and had always done so, had been so deeply wounded, that he could neither go to her or leave and for an indeterminate time, they stood there motionless and speechless.
Finally, Elizabeth turned to Darcy, tears welling in her eyes. She took her ring off and set it on the table between them. "You may take that back."
Darcy looked at the ring and at Lizzy and his pride wanted to take the ring, to rid himself of the attacker and the wound and to run, but his sentiments were too strong even for the colossal wound he had received and he could not take back the token, the symbol, for all the love and happiness which he had come to know and to embrace; to take it back now would deny his feelings for her forever and the close off any chance of his expressing that side of himself again. He bowed, mustering all his manners and civility and took his leave. The Gardiners were left with an unusually short "good evening" and Darcy rushed without reserve into the wild storm outside.
Lizzy, staring still at the ring which he refused to take back, brought herself to take it and went to her room. Without any word to anyone, she sat and began to write.
Chapter 21
When she started writing, her hand trembled and she had to steady her pen:
Gracechurchstreet...Mr. Darcy,
It grieves me to see such a course of events bring two people who were once so close so far apart, but the necessity of well-being prevents me from bearing it any longer, so I will be leaving with my aunt and uncle for Ireland, where distance and time will give my reflections their needed insights.
I pray, though, that my dear sister Jane will recover from her blow sooner than I will from mine. Her happiness, ruined in no small part by you, will take considerable time to mend, for the true love she holds for Bingley will follow her wherever she is.
In the time whilst I am abroad, you too will have adequate time to reflect on your deceit and the disappointment you must bring to your cousin Ann when she finds out that you were engaged to me and your family for trying to back out of your commitments. I pray that you use that time well and that you come to terms with the lies you have told.
Despite the pains of leaving and the poor state I find myself, I hope that we all recover from this, but most of all, come to terms with our own pride and contempt for the sacredness of love.
I pray too that you come back to your honourable path and wish you the very best for your future with Ann,
Elizabeth Bennet
Staring into the emptiness after having finished her duty, a decision formed in her, rooted in her urgent wish to escape, and thus she wrote:
Gracechurchstreet...My dear father,
Our dear friends and family, the Gardiners, have offered me to go with them to Cork, Ireland, for the summer. Mr. Gardiner has rented a house and since he is bringing his whole family, I believe my services to Mrs. Gardiner and the children would merit my going. We further believe that the countryside and mild climate will do us all good. I pray you consent to this and to send me further news from my beloved sisters, mother and yourself.
Yours faithfully,
Elizabeth Bennet
Then, Lizzy faced the last task, she had to accomplish and though it was bitter, it was not the most hurtful one:
Gracechurchstreet...My dear Jane,
I have uncovered the reasons why Bingley was torn from you and the deceitful means by which it was done. It is not my intention to hurt you further with this news, but I hope that the knowledge of it will give you comfort.
I overheard Miss Bingley's conversation with her sister, Mrs. Hurst, in which she related that she had, through means of maneuvering and manipulating her brother's kind easily placed trust, into moving away from you. Her dishonesty was complete when she boasted of not having you as a sister and being connected to people such as our family, the Gardiners, in Cheapside. I trust that it was not Mr. Bingley's intentions to leave, but his own sister and Mr. Darcy's persuasions which has prevented your happiness.
This is written with a heavy heart, but I feel you will agree in its necessity.
Your loving sister,
Elizabeth
Elizabeth's hands were shaking as she sealed the envelopes. The noise of the movers and of frantic packing came to her from her emotional reverie and she had nothing more to do than to give the letters to the servant. Mr. Gardiner was soon in coming, making mild inquiries into Mr. Darcy and the state of their engagement. "Uncle Edward, I thank you for your kindness and attentions, for which I couldn't ask more, but I must also ask you for your silent understanding. I have had a mild shock but will recover quickly, I assure you, and ask that you simply do not make inquiries into the subject, which has become a very sensitive one for me."
Mr. Gardiner nodded understandingly, then in an upbeat tone added, "Whatever the cause, dear Lizzy, the Irish air will do you good. I cannot remember feeling more healthy, more alive, than in Ireland."
Mr. Gardiner related the whole thing to his wife in a very fuzzy manner, forgetting all of the little details Mrs. Gardiner would surely have noticed. Though he was genuinely concerned, his lack of comprehension was always startling to the female mind.
Fortuna sat with a questioning expression. Her rage, though unabated, was not being questioned by the nagging feeling that she had done too much to spoil her own work.
Chapter 22
The irregular rough winds had been a blessing and a boon. The crossing to Ireland on a decommissioned sloop of war, now the Lady Belle, had been both fast and rough. Lizzy, having battle sea-sickness and the cramped apartments for more than a week, was happy to feel solid ground under her feet.
Mr. Gardiner was all smiles, delighting in returning to a place of his youth and to the wild country of southern Ireland, and Mrs. Gardiner, though fatigued from the journey, was pleasantly reminded of the countryside of her youth in Derbyshire. They both discussed the similarities and differences at length, a conversation in which Lizzy was happy not to partake. Mr. Gardiner was so eager to be back to Bantry, a pleasant coastal village a bit south of Cork, that he didn't wait for proper transport, but rented a chaise and a farmer's wagon for the luggage.
The ride wasn't too long, but rough, and Lizzy was ready to be done with it long before they arrived. A small house came into view at the top of a low hill which was charmingly decorated with plants and flowers. It was an old hunting cottage of the Earls of Bantry, now rented as a summer house. Lizzy feel in love with the house, the terrain and for a few moments, forgot her misery.
Lizzy soon accustomed herself to long seaside walks. The rough coast afforded little opportunity of walking in the sand, but the view was breathtaking. She was especially fond of the Earl's house, not far from the cottage, which overlooked Bantry Bay. She often noticed a man about ten years Mr. Gardiner's junior, quietly reading over looking the sea, but whenever she would pass, he take off his hat in a quaint half-bow. It was during one of these walks that the ferocity of last springs gales came back and caught her unprepared. Getting quickly drenched, she ran for shelter, bumping into this man, who quickly offered her his umbrella. "Thank you, sir, for your kindness."
"It is entirely my pleasure, ma'am. These gales come quickly here in Bantry, and I never leave home without my umbrella."
"Pardon, sir, but I don't believe I caught your name."
"Robert White, ma'am, at your service."
Their long wet walk home revealed his being the younger brother of the Earl of Bantry, for whose lands he was in charge of during his absence in England in Parliament. He also knew Mr. Gardiner for he often purchased items sold by him and had had a business acquaintance for many years. He brought her home so entirely fatigued and charmed that all thoughts of Darcy had nearly escaped her, and she was quite happy for a moment.
"Again, I thank you, sir, and hope that we can thank you properly when the weather has grown more moderate."
"With all my heart, ma'am, it would be my pleasure." Turning back into the rain, he was seen walking the road to Bantry House, with a slight bounce in his step.
The acquaintance led quickly to invitations and to their first formal meeting at Bantry. Robert White, master of the house, warmly welcomed his guests, Lizzy, and the Gardiners. He gave them a tour of the gardens, which were in the English fashion, both rigidly controlled and yet wild in their variety and growth. Despite the wonderful house and its ponds and gardens, it was the seaside view into Bantry Bay which left all breathless.
"It was the reason for the Bantry Estate being built here. The weather may be wild at times but the view makes up for it on every other day." ,p> Mrs. Gardiner could not help but make an comment on the house, "Why sir, it is magnificent. It reminds me of Derbyshire even Pemberley, to which it more than compares." Though Lizzy reacted by going pale, the meaning was lost on Mr. White, especially as he was firmly attached on Lizzy, her mannerisms, beauty and intelligence, which had quickly won him.
Fortuna was, if it is possible, surprised. Her efforts to get Darcy and Lizzy together had failed and yet, without effort, a new acquaintance was showing signs of love, without her help. It gave the Goddess more frustration to see that her careful plans would fail and Chance, that other God, seemed to be better at matchmaking than she. Fortuna paced for a long time that day and knew that something had to be done.
Chapter 23
Standing at the parapet, which marked the border between the human shaped confinements of Bantry House* and the wild sea below, Lizzy gazed into the depth watching the idle play of the waves. She leant on the stone with her right hand with her left one tightly pressed the pendant of her golden necklace, which shimmered contrasted with the dark colour of her dress when a sudden stirring behind her startled her. Whirling around, she recognized the familiar figure of Robert White and a heavy sigh raised her breast and hastily hid her jewellery into her bodice and smiled at her host.
"Miss Bennet, I did not mean to startle you, but you seemed to be so entirely absorbed into your admiration of the sea, that I did not wish to disturb you." Starring in the direction Lizzy was looking, he seemed for a moment lost in his own reflections. When he next addressed her and offered her his arm, she accepted blushingly and he could perceive a ring-shaped imprint in the flesh of her palm. "Your aunt and uncle expressed their concern at your prolonged absence and I therefore offered to find you and summon you to dinner", he continued and added good-humouredly, "Your cousins seem quite hungry, especially little Michael. The only way to keep him from constantly sulking seems to be to fill his little mouth. He is such an interesting young lad, with a great interest in hairpins." The gentleman referred to an occasion, in which the young boy, sitting on Lizzy's arms, had tried to rid his cousin of her hairpins, but was stopped by a rough slap on his hand, when he was especially intrigued by one of her sliver hairpins.
Entering into an animate conversation with her host, Lizzy turned her head around and tried to get a last glimpse at the sea, behind which England lay, before she descended the large marble staircase towards the mansion. Dinner was a very enjoyable meal and the adults laughed heartily at the antics and jokes of the Gardiners' children, who had been invited by Mr. White, being very fond of children.
Therefore, Lizzy and Mrs. Gardiner had spent the greater parts of their days in Ireland at Bantry House, whose large park and friendly host provided the children with unforgettable memories while their father worked in the nearby city of Cork, successfully forming new business contacts and enlarging his profitable trading net. As often as his duties would allow him, Mr. White spent almost every hour possible in the company of Mrs. Gardiner and her niece. If they were not visiting Bantry House, he called at their little cottage, typically bringing something for the children or wishing to inquire about the ladies' health and he never left before supper, being a welcomed companion, to both women.
s a vivid conversationalist with well-informed and intelligent opinions, having easy and unobtrusive charming manners and a balanced countenance, he offered every distraction they could wish for. His great fondness for children secured him immediately Mrs. Gardiner's liking and gratefulness, for he was the only one who could lure little Michael into eating his cod-liver oil. Another aspect which won him her affection, was the fact that he could extract a joyous laughter from Lizzy, which her aunt had rarely heard since the last days in London. Watching the two of them engaged in animated conversation and listening to their pointed discussions about literature, she smiled to herself, though she never missed the signs of a lack of liveliness in her niece's conduct. The third quality, which endeared Mr. White to her motherly heart, was his pleasing station in life. When he was not in charge of his brother's estate, his time was filled with research and writing, a lifestyle which his own fortune and the income from his careful investments and trading interests allowed him. Possessing a townhouse in Dublin and a smaller mansion at the Ring of Kerry, he was an independent man at the prime of his life. Therefore, none, besides Fortuna, would have scolded Mrs. Gardiner and her niece for taking pleasure in his company and occasionally blushing at his charming compliments.
Waiting for Mrs. and Mr. Gardiner, whom Chance had sent in search for little Michael, who had disappeared, Mr. White and Lizzy stood in the moonlight near the carriage. Speaking into the sparkling eyes of the young lady smiling at him, he gently took her hand "Miss Bennet, every day in your company is as precious as a jewel to me and every morning I look forward to seeing you again. Therefore, might I ask your permission to see you on every day which will follow?"
Fortuna's angry pacing and yelling at poor Chance filled heaven with such a deafening noise, that the two Goddesses missed Lizzy's answer and could see her hand moving to her décolleté and playing with her necklace, while Mr. White nodded vehemently at her response and raised her hand tenderly to his lips. Witnessing this, Fortuna turned on her heels and rushed towards her telescope, focusing her attention on London and leaving Chance with a bleeding nose behind.
* Bantry House: For all those who doubt whether Robert White is a worthy rival for Darcy, might be interested in a comparison of the estates. A link is added below. ;-)
Chapter 24
Georgina tiptoed upon entering the library, where her brother was hiding himself away from her, his servants and especially all his duties. Peering around she corner, she could perceive his sunken figure in the twilight of the closed curtains. Sitting in a chair, he stared into the flames, holding a glass of whisky in his hands. Georgina's eyes wandered sorrowfully to the half-full decanter on the side table. How she wished she could help her brother, trying to break through the wall of silence he had erected around himself, when he returned angrily and upset from his last meeting with Miss Elizabeth Bennet. Since the following morning, when he had received a letter addressed to him in a delicate handwriting, he hardly ever refused to leave his library. His sister's worried looks, her careful enquiries about the whereabouts of his fiancée and the state of their engagement, he ignored entirely and escaped to his den. He rarely partook in any meal and ate so little that he had considerably lost weight.
His appearance, demeanour and facial expression reminded Georgina strongly of a prisoner who had given up any hope and had resigned himself to his fate and was now waiting now for his execution. When all her own attempts to get through to her brother had failed, she began to worry seriously for his health and applied to various family members for help, but neither had managed to persuade her brother to talk about his problems or accept any kind of help. At the end, her desperation had reached such an urgency that she had decided to inform Lady Catherine de Bourgh, hoping that she might be able to arouse Mr. Darcy out of his melancholy.
Presently, Georgina tried to figure out whether her brother might be capable of receiving Charles Bingley, who, looking into the worried face of his best friend's little sister and being slightly annoyed by his behaviour, was for once determined not to be sent away. Gently urging Georgina away from the door, he stepped in to the room and opened the curtains. Blinking in the bright summer day's sunlight, which suddenly penetrated his eyes, Mr. Darcy groaned and shook his head unwillingly,
"Leave me alone and close those curtains before you shut the door, would you?" A request which remained unheard by Bingley, who walked in front of him and menacingly straightened his slim figure to his full height before confronting Darcy thus,
"No, sir, I will not be sent away. Your pitiable behaviour is not longer tolerable. I won't force you to reveal the source of your misery, but I demand that pay attention to those around you, who are greatly concerned for your welfare, and to the responsibilities which come with your position in life. Especially Georgina, for God's sake..." he trailed off.
This was spoken in a very urgent and trembling tone, finally pushing Darcy out of his trance, for he realized the truth of what Bingley was saying just as he saw the frightened look on his little sister's face, peering anxiously around the corner. He made himself focus on reality, from which he had tried to flee more or less effectively. For the first time within several weeks, the blur, in which he had experienced his environment seemed to ease and he perceived the worried expressions on the faces around him. Shifting uncomfortably in his chair, feeling the stubble on his cheeks and the stiffness of his clothes, Mr. Darcy raised himself and walked slowly towards his sister, whose tears moved him deeply and he felt sharp pricks of shame. Pushing every other thought into the farthest corner of his brain, his strong sense of duty returned to him and he pulled himself together. Embracing his little sister, he was determined to carry on and never again to allow himself to hurt one of the persons most dearest to him so severely. He whispered a shy "I 'm sorry" into her ears before he released her and patted her shoulders. Such behaviour will not help you, man, he scolded himself grimly, a lot of work will be the best cure for you.
About half an hour later, he joined his sister, her companion and Mr. Bingley in the parlour, where he pretended to be interested in a platter of hors d'oeuvres to calm Georgina, who watched him anxiously. Later, when the ladies had left, he observed Bingley, "I don't want to press your confidence, but what on earth made you behave like that? It must be something serious and if I would not know you better, I would assume that you were lovesick."
Hearing this innocent comment, Darcy's temper rose and he spat sarcastically at Bingley, "Though you have declared it impossible, you may assume that I am lovesick! But for some, those feelings run more deeply than with you!" Having said this, he regretted his words instantly.
Upon seeing the expression on Bingley's face and realizing the full impact, when Bingley rose quickly, addressing Mr. Darcy curtly, "Of course." He made a slight bow and began to take his leave. Perceiving his friend's pain which was similar to his own, Darcy realized that he possessed at least the means to help his friend. Informing him about everything he had done to separate him from Miss Jane Bennet, revealing his interventions and assuring him of the young woman's constant regard for him, he was forced to mention his own relationship to her sister and the hurtful letter which had compelled him to see his mistakes. Then awaiting his friend's justified wrath, he was surprised by seeing a look of gratitude and insecurity in his eyes. It took Mr. Darcy a great deal to persuade Bingley to return to Netherfield and when he had finally managed to restore his friend's self-confidence sufficiently, Bingley could hardly be stopped from setting off directly. Before he hastily left, he thanked Darcy again and again for his honesty and friendship, promising to write him as soon as he had any news. Storming out of the room, he left a rather embarrassed and melancholy Mr. Darcy behind.
Fortuna only left her telescope in the following days to inquire into the affairs at Ireland, but an offended Chance prevented her from gaining any comforting information. For the first time in eternity, the Goddess started to feel helpless and she had to rely on human sources. Cursing Chance rudely and laying all the blame on her, Fortuna settled grumblingly down to wait.
Chapter 25
Suppressing a yawn and stretching out his sleepy limbs, Mr. Darcy tried to find a more comfortable position in his chair. After having worked through the pile of letters which had grown on his desk during his mental absence and trying to forget everything else, Darcy allowed his thoughts free reign for one painful moment and then hurriedly eyed the last letter lying in front of him. The forceful and angular handwriting revealed his dear aunt, Lady Catherine de Bourgh. He reluctantly opened it anticipating little pleasure. Yet, nothing prepared him for the shock which he received. With Fortuna peering curiously over his shoulder, he started reading:
Rosings Park,My dear nephew,
Receiving Georgina's alarming report about your embarrassing conduct and obvious lack of self-control, I must say that I am most seriously displeased.
No gentleman of your consequence and station in life should indulge in such frivolous pursuits as you have done. You have thus forgotten your duties and obligations, whose fulfillment is the goal in life, a human being's fruitless strive for divine perfection. You have been bestowed with the greatest goods in life and therefore, you have to live up to their demands, nothing else is honourable.
Pausing, Darcy could not help but admit the truth of his aunt's reproaches, yet his feelings were soon turned to the reverse when he continued:
In reference to Georgina's letter, I must say that I detect a great deal of sentimentality and exaggerated emotions in her letters, which are clearly inspired by her reading novels, a pastime which I cannot find suitable for a young girl and cannot understand how you sanction it. My own dear Ann would never...
Here, Darcy skipped a few passages, in which his aunt further advised about how he should raise Georgiana, when another paragraph caught his attention and he resumed his reading, with irritated eyes:
I refuse to believe that your present bad conduct should result in being separated from this young upstart-girl, for no nephew of mine can sink that deep. Indeed, I had to spend great efforts to discourage that woman, for she was quite determined not to give up. She even dared to contradict me!? Only when I informed her about your engagement to my own daughter Ann and showed her the draft of a marriage contract, I had had prepared in advance to unite the estates of Rosings and Pemberley, and a replica of your own mother's engagement ring, she seemed to understand that all her high hopes were deceived. Therefore, I cannot help but congratulate myself on my effective plan, for I even thought to copy your signature. Everything I did for you, my dear nephew, to rescue you out of her clutches and to ensure a bright future for you at Ann's side. You really ought to thank me!Now, this Miss Bennet seems to have found a new victim, a correspondent of mine in Ireland informed me that a Miss Bennet is said to have accepted the proposal of marriage by a Mr. Robert White, the younger brother of the Earl of Bantry, who seems to have succumbed to her charms ...
The lines started to blur in front of his eyes, for at this moment, he was finally able to understand Lizzy's accusations and her subsequent conduct. Like a punch in his stomach, he saw all the smallest hopes, nourished in the deepest corner of his heart, disappear and darkest desperation take their place. Everything was lost.
Desperately wishing to ease his pain, Fortuna pushed a piece of paper in his hands as means of distraction, the only remedy she could presently offer, for her hands were still bound by the ploys of Chance. Looking at the writing, Darcy recognized his father's letter and remembered his mother's two wishes, of which the first brought a new wave of pain. Yet the second her request to search for her natural mother offered him the prefect excuse for a flight, from himself and the world.
After some hasty preparations and explanations, Darcy set off for Edinburgh, a long, uncomfortable journey, on which, "Do not think. Focus on he landscape. Just live and think of Edinburgh" became his mantra which he recited constantly to himself.
Chapter 26
Having finally reached his destination, Mr. Darcy did not allow himself any break. As soon as he had found lodgings, he left the Inn again and started his investigations. After two day's of ceaseless and untiring efforts, he held a sheet of paper with an address in his hands. Desperately longing for occupation and distraction from his torturing thoughts, he decided not to postpone his visit and hand over his mother's letter.
Thus, Darcy found himself in front of a small, but inviting house in a narrow lane, not far from the University of Edinburgh. Having shyly pushed the doorbell, he listened to the echo, with which the sound seemed to awaken and startle the sleeping house, intruding in a foreign world; his mother's. Shifting awkwardly, Mr. Darcy silently pleaded that none was present to welcome him and which would thus enable him to escape, when the door was slowly opened by an old servant, "Yes, sir?" Handing her his card, he informed her that he wished to see Mrs. Eastbridge on an important matter. Grumbling to herself, the old maid let him in and guided him to an elegantly furnished parlour. Standing in the middle of the room, Mr. Darcy examined his environment, whose peacefulness and cosiness had a soothing effect on his troubled senses. When he turned around, his attention was caught by delicate painting. The persons displayed there, a man in his thirties standing behind a chair, on which a young beautiful woman sat, seemed strangely familiar to him. Her head was turned towards her companion, whose right hand rested on her shoulders, while his left one was entwined with hers. Their gazes were sunken into one another's and thus, excluded the observer in their intimate display of mutual attachment. Feeling pinpricks in his chest, the picture brought back what he had lost with full force, Darcy backed away, as if he had burnt himself, with the impression that he had trespassed an invisible border.
"This portrait was painted about ten years before your mother's birth." On hearing these words, Darcy nearly jumped, startled out of his reverie, and whirled around. Behind him stood an old lady, who resembled the young one on the picture. "It was one of the rare, but precious occasion, on which I could spend several weeks in the Earl of Matlock's company." His hostess continued and invited him to sit down, smiling gently at Darcy's obvious uneasiness and discomfort. It took him a few seconds to adjust himself to the new situation. He was desperately searching for words to start a conversation when Mrs. .Eastbridge broke the silence inquiring after his journey and how he liked Edinburgh. Finally, he felt confident enough to address Mrs. Eastbridge, "Ma'am, on her death bed, my mother expressed the wish that I should contact you after her passing and hand you this letter," he finished his speech by handing her a sealed envelop.
His grandmother accepted it with a sad smile and started reading. Mr. Darcy seized upon the opportunity to study her features unobserved and then understood the first impression of familiarity on seeing the picture, the similarity between his mother and hers was really striking. He had the impression that he had at least the possibility to gain a glimpse of how Mrs. Darcy might have looked, had she not had to leave this earth too early. All the while Mrs. Eastbridge was busy reading, Darcy tried to avoid looking at the lovers' picture, but it magnetically draw him into is spell and absorbed him with its powerful radiation, evoking painful memories and yet intriguing thoughts at the same time.
When Mrs. Eastbridge had finally finished reading, Darcy could perceive tears in her eyes. Her hands were shaking and as she tried to speak, her voice trembled. She had to clear her throat several times before she could address him, "I thank you very much, Mr. Darcy. You can probably not understand how much it means to receive this first and last personal note from my daughter, whose development I could only experience second-handily and only watch from afar. And finally...to be allowed a glance at my grand-children." Here, her voice broke and she had to use the handkerchief her grandson handed her.
Mr. Darcy spent more days in Edinburgh than he had intended in getting better acquainted with his grandmother. He soon felt as if he had known her all his life, for she gave him a feeling of well-being and confidence. The longer he talked to her and the more he learnt about her, the greater his admiration and estimation of her grew, for she had been satisfied with the little bits of happiness in an otherwise difficult life. Having made a love-affair the centre of her life, Mrs. Eastbridge showed her grandson her true feelings for the late Earl, and though she had later been obliged to enter into a marriage of convenience, she had never been really happy without him. Although one might assume that being separated from her beloved and being denied an active role in raising her daughter, Mrs. Eastbridge might regret her affair with the Earl of Matlock. But she never did.
Sitting in his carriage, Mr. Darcy leant back on the cushion, closing his eyes and transferring himself into his grandmother's cosy parlour, where he had come to understand that which is truly important. He thought about the error of his ways, the false pride he had had. His grandmother had loved the Earl without end, even to this day dressing in black. Being gently rocked by the carriage, Darcy heard his grandmother's voice in his ear, "The love we shared was greater than anything else and it is what gave me strength though the life of hardship which I had to live because of it. Had I yielded to difficulties it brought, I would have regretted it all my life. Even now." Here she had looked sad and happy at the same time at Darcy. She didn't need to say more for her feelings were unmistakable.
Instead of travelling directly to London, Mr. Darcy had decided on a little detour, Ireland. Though his grandmother's words had not banished his pain, they had given him back his tranquility, for he was determined to survive. He could not envision a life without Lizzy at his side and the thought of losing her gave him the greatest pain. He was determined not to give up before he had done everything in his power to win her back.
Her trip to Edinburgh had humbled Fortuna greatly, for simple human wisdom had achieved what all her divine powers could not and she vowed that she would do everything to guarantee Mrs. Eastbridge happiness until the end of her days.
Chapter 27
Impatiently breaking the seal, Lizzy started reading the long awaited letter from Jane, which was, despite her usual carefulness, written in a very bad hand:
Longbourn, 18-My dearest Lizzy,
I hope that the good, the very best news I can sent you now will ensure me your forgiveness for my neglect of our correspondence ... - Oh, dearest Lizzy, I am so happy, my hand is shaking I can hardly write - Imagine, my dreams have come true, my grief was instantly turned into joy!
Mr. Bingley has returned to Netherfield and now we are engaged! He has told me that he still loves me and that our separation rooted in stupid misunderstandings. Lizzy, I am so happy! When we heard the first rumours that he had returned to Netherfield, I could hardly believe it and was worried how I should ever be able to meet him and you couldn't be there to comfort me.
When finally paid a visit to our family, the first moments were awkward and were only to do with the weather. He left quite soon and then returned on the next day and gladly accepted mother's invitation to stay for dinner. In the following weeks, we saw him quite daily and on an appropriate occasion, he knelt down, took my hand ... and proposed. Oh dearest sister, I can hardly believe it, he has just left and my heart is turning somersaults, I am so excited. Please, Lizzy, come home soon, so that I can tell you everything, for which I have not the patience to write down at once. Both father and mother welcomed Mr. Bingley into our family.
Please, share this wonderful news with our dear aunt and uncle Gardiner and send them my best wishes.
Come home soon!
Your affectionate sister,
Jane Bennet
A broad smile appeared on Lizzy's face and she had to reread the letter once more to be sure that her wishes had not deceived her eyes and she regretted that her aunt and uncle were not present to inform them about Jane's happiness. Concentrating entirely on Jane and envisioning her bright future, Lizzy sat contently in her chair humming to herself, when the old grandfather's clock ungraciously awoke her and reminded her that she would be late for her walk with Mr. White at the seaside, if she did not hurry.
Searching for her bonnet, Lizzy finally managed to find it in the farthest corner of the cottage, where a helpless Fortuna had hidden it in order to prevent her outing, but despite Lizzy left the cottage, carrying little Michael in her arms, who had not been allowed to accompany his parents and older siblings on their excursion. Yet the possibility of having Lizzy and Mr. White, who usually brought him some sweets, all to himself, lessened the young boy's pain, for he loved nothing as much as undivided attention. Telling her little cousin a funny story, Lizzy made sure that his attention was fixed on everything but her hairpins. When they reached the beach, Mr. White awaited them already impatiently and as soon as their figures appeared on the horizon, he rushed to meet them. After having greeted Lizzy with an elegant bow, he removed the little boy from her arms, gave him his chocolate and placed a tender kiss on Lizzy's hand. Then, he placed her hand securely on his arm, covered it with his, while he carried little Michael on his other arm. Entering into an animate conversation, their joy and harmony was obvious to any random spectator, such as sulking Fortuna.
Chapter 28
But Fortuna was not the only one to observe this romantic scene, which must simply give any observer the impression of closeness and understanding, though concealed behind some rocks stood Mr. Darcy, whose heart was bleeding on seeing this obvious display of affection.
Unbeknownst to Lizzy, Mr. Darcy had become her faithful shadow in the last days, following everywhere possible. After having arrived in Ireland, he had spent his days trying to find out whether his aunt's report was true, whether he still had a chance and whether Lizzy was happy. If that were the case, he was determined to leave without addressing her, for he did not wish to disturb her inevitable happiness, as her peace of mind was of the utmost importance to him.
On the first occasion, he had seen Lizzy alone, playing in front of the cottage with her little cousins, scolding little Michael who was again engaged in some mischief. This scene reminded him so strongly of his own visits with the Gardiners in London, where he had experienced for the first time a harmonious family life following the death of his parents. Feeling himself drawn towards Lizzy with every fibre of his being, he prepared himself to approach her without frightening her and rehearsed for the last time his speech of defense, when a gentleman turned around the corner. The man addressed Lizzy quite familiarly and then turned his attention to the children, who welcomed him enthusiastically. Frowning at the man's behaviour, Mr. Darcy could not persuade himself that it was only a random visitor, thus he assumed that this must be Mr. Robert White. Watching his rival with burning eyes, Darcy had to admit that he was rather good-looking, despite being about fifteen years his senior, and displayed well-bred and friendly manners. The easiness with which he talked to Lizzy and teased the children, revealed a concerning degree of intimacy .Trying to persuade himself that this could as well be the treatment an old and estimated friend of the family would receive, he was startled, when Lizzy turned around and looked in his direction, as if she felt observed, but she did not see him. Ushering the children into the cottage, they all disappeared out of his view and Mr. Darcy was forced to return to the Inn.
The next time he saw her, he was sitting in the Inn's dinning room at a table close to the window where Lizzy was passing accompanied by her aunt and uncle so that he had no possibility of speaking to her, especially as he did not wish to involve her relations. Careful investigation and inquiries had revealed him that Mr. White and Miss Bennet were a topic which was discussed with very great interest among the inhabitants of the small village, for Mr. White was very popular because of his friendliness and generosity. Unfortunately, Darcy received contradictory reports, which kept him between agony and hope and in his urgent need for definitive information, he decided to visit Bantry House as a tourist, for he was sure that none of the persons concerned would be present.
The housekeeper had guided her guest, Mr. Carson, very enthusiastically through the grand mansion, answering his tactful questions about the house and the family very readily. At the end she even indulged in hints of Mr. Robert White's affairs, which brought Darcy a sleepless night and burdened his aching heart, choking the very tiny little sparkle of hope.
Yet, Darcy trusted more in his own observation and had decided to follow Lizzy a last time and witness, if possible, a private encounter between her and Mr. White, when the scene at the beach confirmed his fears, stabbing him like a dagger. Staggering, he decided to leave to honour Lizzy and her choice, for he loved her too much to begrudge her her happiness and he told himself that he had to let her go, without paying attention to his own feelings.
A pain, which shook him vehemently and consumed his whole being, captured his body. This pain was even shared my Fortuna, who, instead of being delighted by this display of human resoluteness, started crying herself and shot angry glances at a gloating Chance, when she read the read in Darcy's mind, "That is the end."
Chapter 29
As if he intended to torture himself, Mr. Darcy was unable to follow his own decision and instead, stayed, hidden behind his rock, to witness his worst fears coming true. Not paying attention to anything but to the blurred picture in front of his eyes, he was aware only of a violent ringing deafness. A sudden dizziness captivated him, made him falter and lose his footing. He did not try to regain his hold and upright posture, for everything was meaningless to him, nothing could equal the intense and all consuming pain within, not even the blow as his head landed on the stone. He gladly gave himself up to the merciful arms of darkness, which drowned for once all his violent emotions, covering his eyes with her tender fingers.
All he could perceive through the clouds in front of his eyes, drowned in his emotional pain, was his rival touching the very lips, which he himself had only been allowed to taste for briefest seconds. Mr. Darcy felt his heart melt and had to hide his face in his hands, his body shaking. He wanted to scream, to draw Elizabeth's attention to him, yet he could not, his tongue seemed to stick to his palate and all his muscles were cramping. All his limbs were rendered immobile by the immense pain which crept slowly through his body like the poison of a venomous snake. Knowing, that at once it had reached his heart, all life would be banished out of his deadened body, Mr. Darcy still felt unable to tear his eyes away from the one woman, who meant everything to him. The reason, sense, and energy of his existence were draining. Memories attacked him ceaselessly and he thought he could feel Mr. White's happiness vicariously. The feeling of Lizzy's heavy hair in his hand, the softness of her skin under his fingers and the delight he had to feel her lips so warm and responding.
At the moment, when he had to see her welcoming and returning another man's attentions, he felt his heart turn to stone, for he realized what he had gained and lost in this very instant. He could not understand why Elizabeth seemed not to hear his cry for help. Instead he heard her laugh happily. This sound, which had once been so delightful to him, so full of life and energy, was suddenly turned into a knell. A wave of hatred and the urgent wish to attack Mr. White swept over him.
Not aware of anything any more other than vague sensations, Mr. Darcy did not notice the pain caused by his injuries, for darkness narrowed his view hiding every thing from the environment. Therefore, Mr. Darcy had not heard a young woman's scream, not seen her crouching over his motionless body and not felt the warmth of her tears dripping on his face. He had not felt as he was lifted up, carried towards a small cottage and bedded into white linen. The worried voices, one from an older woman trying to sound reassured, and the other, full of sobs, had not reached his ears. Moreover, he had not felt the knowing hands of a doctor examining him and taking care of his wound. Later he had not known about a pair of shaking hands, taking a tight hold of his cold ones. The worried tone of a trembling voice calling out his name and the worried looks in the faces of the couple standing in the doorway and the matter-of-fact advices from the physician wholly escaped his notice, so entirely consumed was he by the picture in front of his eyes.
Yet, this vision did not last and outward pain caught his attention, his sight blurred, darkness released him out of her arms and Darcy felt his tongue touching his dry palate.
Being unable to contain herself any longer, Fortuna grasped Chance and dragged her in front of Jove, for her pushing Mr. Darcy was too much to be borne.
Chapter 30
Heaven reverberated with the echo of the angry punch, with which Jove hit his desk, shooting indignant glances at the two Goddesses in front of him, whom he had to remind for the for the umpteenth time that they were not supposed to settle their numerous struggles for power on the backs of poor, innocent human beings. Threatening Chance to ban her forever and degrade her to a mortal creature, he told her to leave Fortuna alone, whom he reprimanded that she should not make her protégés suffer because of her bad mood or various health problems and he advised her to create a happy end out of the caused confusion and grief.
As soon as he had felt the power over his voice and limbs return to him, Mr. Darcy, still being under the impression of his vision of Mr. White kissing Elizabeth, he wanted to jump up and assault his rival. Yet, a sharp pain in his head prevented him from doing so and all he could muster was a faint "No!" conveying all his desperation and pain. Assuming that this call for help would remain unheard as his other ones, he fought to raise his eyelids, which seemed as heavy as lead. When he finally succeeded, he could perceive the picture of Elizabeth leaning over him and the feeling of her hand holding his. Welcoming the vision this time forming in front of his eyes, he refused to wake up immediately. He felt himself unable to lose this wonderful dream and being again thrown into the cruel reality without Lizzy near him, thus he considered it as a last shield against the inevitable confirmation of his great loss. Yet the stabbing headache suggested that this dream must be true and Darcy hastily opened his eyes again for any clear signs and the picture he received was overwhelming due to the intense wave of happiness which swept over him, when he still saw Lizzy leaning over him. She had not vanished and clinging to this last grain of hope, Mr. Darcy decided not to question the truthfulness of the picture his eyes wanted to make him believe. It became all consuming reality to him, when he felt the coldness of metal tickling his face and eyeing the item right in front of his eyes, he could perceive, hanging on a chain, a ring, bearing the Darcy crest.
Clearing his throat, he tried to raise himself out of his lying position, when Lizzy's hands on his chest prevented him, "Don't Fitzwilliam. You suffered a severe fall." Here her voice broke and she averted her gaze. Mr. Darcy wishing to seize on this opportunity, before any jealous or moody Goddess could stop him, spoke,
"My sudden appearance must have surprised you. I beg you to--excuse the trouble I have caused to you-- my clumsiness, but furthermore - and I ask for your forgiveness - for the pain my behaviour and my aunt's falsehoods ... In making you wrongly believe - that was wrong, and I was never--my cousin was never my fiancée. It was by a fake marriage contract and ring-the pain it must have inflicted you. If you cannot forgive me, tell me so at once - my affections and wishes are unchanged, but one word from you will silence me on this subject forever* and I am ready to leave immediately."
Awaiting anxiously for her reply, he was frightened by the tears pouring out of her eyes and choking her voice, before she was finally capable of speaking, "Mr. Darcy, it is not you who has to ask for forgiveness, my own wrongful pride and prejudice have enflamed my stubbornness and I neither listened to you nor offered you any reasons for my accusations ... the pain and distress I have caused ..."
Gently forcing her to look up and meet his gaze, he spoke with a voice trembling from suppressed emotions and happiness, "The most important thing is that we can forgive each other and that the trust and love we share never ceases." His sentence finished in a half-question, whose answer he could read in his beloved's sparkling eyes. After many excuses, explanations and exchanges of reassurances, their lips at last met for a an intense and electric reconciliatory kiss, which seemed to last an eternity, at least for the sad spectator standing outside the sickroom.
With sunken shoulders, Mr. Robert White walked away, for the witnessed display of affection had destroyed all his secret hopes, which Lizzy's answer to his proposal could not stop entirely, "I thank you for your compliments, Mr. White and I am sorry to be forced to cause you pain because I estimate you highly as a friend, but I do not love you and will never be able to; my heart belongs to someone else. Please promise me that I will not lose my friend!" What else could he have done but give the desired answer and admiringly kiss her hand?
*Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice, Volume Three, Chapter 16
Epilogue
Fortuna was in raptures when she could finally celebrate the reunion of her protégés. Her joy was not even spoilt by the fact that her efforts had failed, but human beings themselves were responsible for this happy ending.
Her outbreak was only surpassed by Mrs. Bennet's, when she was informed about the engagement and tried to calculate how much money her second eldest daughter, who was now promoted to being her favourite one, could spend as Mrs. Darcy. Even Mr. Bennet, once he was reconciled to the fact that he would lose his Lizzy and could be persuaded to take pains of getting better acquainted with his future son-in-law, of whom he grew rather fond, was finally able to rejoice in his daughter's happiness.
Lizzy's own joy was mirrored by Jane's, as soon as they had an opportunity to confide in each other what had happened in the last months in great detail and at great length, causing their fiancés to complain because of their prolonged absence.
After a reasonable period of time, Mr. White was able to congratulate Mr. Darcy and his fiancée on their engagement and he always remained a close and esteemed friend to both of the Darcys. At the wedding he met Charlotte Lucas, whom he found to also be a lover of poetry. In the spring of the Darcy's marriage, they developed a romance, which Fortuna considered a much simpler version of that which she had intended for the Darcys. By next year, she was Mrs. White and deeply in love. This, however, is another story, which bears being told not in one paragraph, but in its entirety.
Fortuna doted jealously over the Darcys and shielded them from any dangers, e.g. Chance's attempts to cause trouble with the aid of Mr. Wickham, Fortuna prevented this by revealing his bad character to society and thus alarming every father. Even Mr. Bennet managed to rein his flirtatious youngest daughters in and teach them some sense, though their preference for officers in red coats remained, and they finally married two lieutenants with handsome faces and meagre fortunes, whereas Marry Bennet was happy in her alliance with Mr. Collins.
The Darcys experienced an intense happiness which is usually reserved for the Gods themselves, though it was sometimes clouded by little quarrels, in which two stubborn people are likely to enter. Those caused great anxiety to Fortuna and while she was recovering from her fears, Darcy and Elizabeth were already celebrating their reconciliation. Equally happy and well matched were the Bingleys, who later lived on an estate only a few miles from Pemberley.
Their perfect life was crowned with the birth of three healthy, witty and intelligent children, two boys and a girl as a straggler. She was her father's darling, because she was the youngest, the only girl and presented a perfect miniature of her mother. Due to her stubbornness and the Gardiner's youngest son being her godfather, she was named Michaela. The Gardiners themselves were always welcomed guests at Pemberley, where Mr. Gardiner was often found fishing.
The constant company, tender guidance and support of her new sister-in-law helped Georgina to overcome her own shyness and enable her to interact with society and grow up into a young beautiful woman, who was ready to spread her wings and leave the nest, quite too early in Mr. Darcy's opinion. She later fell in love with Colonel Fitzwilliam, who, she later learnt, was an aspiring, albeit secret, author, who had even written of one of her favourite books.
The family centre at Pemberley was harmoniously completed by Mrs. Eastbridge, who had, after Mr. Darcy's marriage, moved to Pemberley and became the grandmother and supporter for everybody. Thus, Fortuna rewarded her for her bravery and gifted her with days full of sunshine and joy among her family. The only person, who might have caused trouble and disaccord, was excluded for several years by Darcy's wrath. Though she herself did not try to seek reconciliation and had to marry her daughter to a Scottish baron, who was quite content with their relationship, though it gave Lady Catherine some grief. A few years later, through Lizzy's persuasion, Darcy found it in himself to forgive his aunt and she was admitted, a somewhat humbler version of her old self.