Posted on Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Oh, Oh, Oh! Hooray! THAT MAN finally left today. I must say that it is wonderful to be free of that gentleman’s presence. Oh, we have endured much during THAT MAN’S visit. I am still sore and in a very cranky mood. If it were not for Lizzy suffering almost as much as I was, I would ignore her too. We spent every evening together during THAT MAN’S visit where she would pet me and tell me all about her day and her frustration with the gentleman’s attentions and I would purr and lick her hand in my attempt to comfort her.

Oh, it is such a relief to have everything back to relative normal – except for Mrs. Bennet that is. How could she even consider . . . . Never mind, let me go back and tell you how everything came about.

About a week ago, Mr. Bennet informed the family- myself included as I sat under the table by my Lizzy’s feet and because Mr. Bennet always slipped me some little bit of food under the table – of a visitor arriving that day (1). As this seemed to be inconsequential to me, I decided to take a short nap under the small table by the Library door – Mr. Bennet has not allowed me in the library since I used one of his favorite books as a sharpening tool.

I must have overslept, for the next thing I knew, it was dinnertime. During dinner that evening, I could see Lizzy’s and her father’s amusement with the visitor (2). However, I was shortly very un-amused. When they all got up to enter the drawing room, I was laying quite peacefully under the table next to the entrance into Mr. Bennet’s library. I was just getting to that restful, peaceful sleep, when THAT MAN stepped on my tail! Meowwwwwww-ow-ow-ow-ow! That Hurt! Well, I yowled and startled THAT MAN so badly he lost balance and had to catch himself on the doorjamb. Then THAT MAN dares to start prattling on about a Lady Catherine’s distaste for cats and their poor habits. That is just adding insult to injury. I do not know who that Lady Catherine is but she is clearly insensible to the many merits we felines have. After all, how many canines are capable of catching mice and keeping other rodents out of the pantries of their owners? And if people were to listen to our intuition about other people, they would not need a guard dog. Not to mention we are extremely clean creatures. Oooh.

Well, I avoided the man constantly after that. Lizzy joined me in these attempts as often as possible. Her escape attempts increased when THAT MAN started making eyes at her because her mother encouraged his desire to marry her. (3). Well, I decided right then and there that he would not succeed, not if I had anything to say about it!

From there on in, I followed my Lizzy as much as possible. Whenever her mother tried to let them talk alone or find other activities for her sisters including poor Jane, I would saunter in and leap up onto my Lizzy’s lap. So, whenever he tried to start talking personally, I started meowing. On every occasion that he mentioned Lady Catherine – which was quite often (2)- , I growled or hissed. His frown and dislike for myself showed via a grimace every time I came near. I was ecstatic when he obviously began to reconsider his choice in my Lizzy after she told him I was her pet, only to be severely let down when he smiled again and started complimenting me. I never knew a compliment could sound so much like an insult.

Well, some time passed during the visit during which THAT MAN managed to step on my tail again and regaled the group yet again on Lady Catherine’s views of a proper pet – namely not a cat. Ohhh, THAT MAN is extremely annoying. It seems Mr. Bennet knew my opinion because he reached down and patted my head before saying, “Do not worry William, Lizzy will not be taking you to Hunsford (3). I have no doubt she would choose you over Mr. Collins any day and I agree with her even if you do destroy my books.” I gave a nice loud purr in response and he smiled. At least I knew I was not alone in defending Lizzy from the annoying suitor and the terrifying matchmaking mother.

Finally, the day for Mr. Bingley’s ball came (4). I knew Lizzy did not really look forward to it with her cousin’s continual attention but I hoped she might find some pleasure in Mr. Darcy’s company. He really is a nice man even if he is not very good at showing it.

Anyway, I waited at home – a little impatiently too. Finally, when she came home, she surprised everyone by wanting to retire early. I followed her to her room where she threw her self on her bed and cried. Now my Lizzy is not a crier. I got up and curled up next to her and tried purring a little; however it did not act like the balm for her hurt emotions as it should have. So, I reached with my paw and caught one of her curls and decided to play with it. Lizzy stopped crying long enough to give a sad smile and to pull her curl away from my paw. She pulled me close and held me as she told me about her evening. She also complained about Mr. Darcy to which I still could not understand but felt that perhaps the other troubles overshadowed her ability to think clearly regarding the gentleman during the evening. Eventually, I reached over and licked her cheek to which she laughed and pushed me away. With her spirits restored somewhat, we went to sleep feeling quite well.

However, the worst was yet to come. Mrs. Bennet found a way to corner my Lizzy so that she was forced to listen to THAT MAN’S proposal (5). I tried to sneak in, but Mrs. Bennet grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and dragged me away. No amount of hissing and growling deterred her from throwing me outside with a self-satisfied smirk and the comment, “At least that feline is not able to interfere this time. Oh, to have a daughter married! No more worries about the entailment. Oh this is so wonderful.”

Suffice it to say, I was not happy. So I tried running around to the side entrance just in time for Lydia to open the door. I scooted through and dashed for the open library door before she could grab me. My only concern at that moment was Mr. Bennet pushing me back out the door and leaving me to her mercy. Instead he just looked at me and shook his head, “I see you are trying to get away from the hullabaloo my wife has started today. Ah well, you may stay as long as you do not use my books to sharpen your teeth and claws again.”

I must admit I behaved admirably by curling up by his feet waiting for the results of the proposal which was very nerve-wracking. My Lizzy usually has good sense, however, I have lately questioned her abilities due to her immense dislike of Mr. Darcy.

Finally, I knew something had happened when I heard Mrs. Bennet’s once again loud voice. Why cannot she be a little quieter? It hurts my ears. Anyway, to make a long story short, my Lizzy proved that her good sense was still thriving.

After that, everything slowly went back to normal as Mr. Collins was hardly here and is now finally gone. Lizzy is still showing the occasional lapse in discernment and I can walk freely without fear of my tail being crushed or being labeled a less than suitable pet – except by Mrs. Bennet who blames me in part for Lizzy’s refusal of Mr. Collins (5&6). Care to guess why?

Hmmm. . . . I’m getting just a little tired and think I will go take a nap. Maybe my old hall table will be safe now?

References:

1) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 13
2) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 14
3) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 15
4) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 17 & 18
5) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 19
6) Austen, Jane. Pride and Prejudice. Volume 1 Chapter 20

The End