Until We Meet Again

Until We Meet Again - section II

By Mary H.

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chapter 5

Posted on Monday, 31 July 2006

"Flight 122 from San Diego, California to London, England has now arrived at the gate. Please make sure you have all your belongings and thank you for flying with Delta."

Elizabeth had spent most the flight back to England trying not to think of Will. She tried to focus on Georgiana but her thoughts would drift to her brother and she could think of nothing else. She tapped her fingers on the arm rest and cursing Charlotte for booking her on a morning flight-she needed a drink.

She walked through the terminal and down to baggage claim. She grabbed her bag and began to look around for her sister. She was excited about seeing Jane. It had been almost four years since she'd seen her in person. Their relationship had really taken a hit when she walked away from William, and although it hurt she knew this was the only time Jane had been disappointed with her choice. She had forbidden Jane from ever mentioning William, but in her heart she always hoped Jane would slip up and say something about him. She remembered one night on the phone Jane had lit into her--letting her know exactly the kind of pain she had inflicted on William. Although Elizabeth knew she had been a coward and extremely selfish, it was hard hearing it from her own sister.

"Beth!"

Elizabeth whirled around to see her beloved elder sister standing with tears in her eyes and her arms stretched out. Elizabeth dropped her bag and ran to her sister. They cried in each other's arms and hugged tightly. When Beth finally pulled back she saw Charles standing a little behind Jane, holding the bag she had dropped. Charles looked at her with a sad smile and nodded his head in her direction.

"Good to see you, Beth."

"You too, Charlie," she said sadly. It hurt that her relationship with Charles had become so strained but she didn't blame him. He was Will's best friend and she deserved the cold shoulder.

She turned back to Jane, "How's Georgiana?"

"She's not good. Physically she is improving, but mentally-the doctors are very worried about her. They diagnosed her with post-traumatic stress disorder."

Understanding the implications of Jane words tears welled up in Elizabeth eyes, "Can we go to her? I want to see her."

"Of course. Let's get out of here."

The ride to the hospital was torture for Elizabeth. Each passing minute brought her closer and closer to Will. She was so nervous about seeing him again, and she didn't know what to think about Georgiana. The moment Jane had told her about the doctor's diagnosis her professionalism had kicked in and she had instantly thought of treatment options that she would try. Her mind again drifted to Will and she wondered how he was handling every thing. She shook her head and realized that Georgiana needed her to help her get through this, and she could not let her relationship with Will get in the way of that.

They parked the car and headed towards the cafeteria where they had planned on meeting Will for lunch before seeing Georgiana. As she entered the cafeteria, she immediately scanned the room for him. When he saw him she let out an audible gasp, and thankfully Jane and Charles had already been moving towards the table and didn't hear her.

Will was sitting in a corner slowly stirring his coffee. He was still devastatingly handsome. His face was unshaven however it didn't diminish his appearance instead it made him undeniably sexy. He was wearing blue jeans and a dark hunter green polo shirt that brought out his deep green eyes.

As she cautiously approached the table she stopped and studied him for a moment, and if she hadn't known him as well as she did she would have missed the exhaustion he hid so well. Her natural instinct was to wrap her arms around him and take him home to force him to rest, but then she reminded herself that it was no longer her job to take care of him. And she didn't want to take care of him-did she?

She continued to the table and stood behind the chair directly facing him. Noticing that Jane and Charles had already sat down, she decided to wait until Will looked at her. She waited several long moments before he finally lifted his gaze to her face, and she could tell he was purposely avoiding her eyes.

Breathing in and then exhaling deeply she wondered what would be the best way to greet him. Finally she decided it would be safest to just offer her hand. So she smiled slightly and held out her hand. "William."

Will, at first, was slightly taken aback by her formality. He missed seeing her easy smile in greeting and how she used to give him a quick peck on the cheek. However, he realized any other type of greeting would be awkward. So hesitantly he shook her offered hand and murmured a polite, "Elizabeth".

The sensation he had felt when he touch her again infuriated him. He despised the fact that she had such power. So unsuccessfully he attempted to listen to the conversation that Jane and Charles had begun but he was too consumed by Elizabeth's presence. She was still beautiful and he secretly resented her for it. He had hoped she would now look coarse and old, but he knew that was absurd as she was only twenty-eight. Instead of the time passing hurting her appearance the last three years had given her an air of maturity. Her long ringlet curls were now cut to her shoulders and straightened. William had tried to avoid her eyes for as long as possibly but finally he raised his gaze to hers and realized she had been studying him as well. Her fine, hazel eyes glittered with nervousness and she was tapping her fingers lightly against the table.

Finally after studying her for several long moments, he let his gaze fall back to the table and thought back on the last couple tormenting days. He had stayed awake most of the night pacing back and forth in his bedroom, contemplating the last three years. He thought about his anger and frustration. How he had hated her after she left, after her hurtful words, but hating Elizabeth wasn't easy for him. In fact, hating her was impossible because she was a part of his soul. He tried to stay angry with her, to continue hate her, but all he could feel was anguished and hurt. It frustrated him that one woman had the power to turn the confident, self-assured William Darcy into such despair.

Elizabeth had been his life for so long, that when she left it had been torn apart. As he looked at the woman across the table he tried to figure out where everything had gone so horribly wrong between them. So enthralled was the pair with each other that they hardly noticed when Jane and Charles had left to go get lunch. Darcy was sure he wouldn't have noticed at all had Elizabeth not cleared her throat lightly. He looked up at her face and saw the apprehension in her eyes and decided the no matter his own feelings, he needed to make her feel welcome so she would help Georgiana.

"It looks like we've been deserted," he said smiling slightly.

"Yes, I think they went to go get sandwiches."

"Right."

They sat in silence for several moments for several moments before Darcy spoke again, "Elizabeth, you know I hate small talk. Would you mind if we just cut the formalities and talked about my sister?"

Darcy noticed Elizabeth eyes widen a little before she quietly replied, "Yes I think that would be best."

Elizabeth was glad he had decided to talk about Georgiana. Small talk between them would be awkward. She patiently waited for him to begin his tale.

"Thank you. Well I guess I should give you the full story. Georgiana was in a car accident with Brandon and Anne," she heard him pause and his voice catch slightly. Instinctively she reached for his hand and squeezed it reassuringly and her gesture emboldened him to continue, "Anne was killed instantly and Brandon died later in the operating theater."

As he paused again, Elizabeth took everything in. She couldn't believe something so terrible had happened. She remembered her own grief after losing a little boy she had never met; she couldn't imagine the pain of spending years with a child and then losing them. It horrified her to think about the pain one must feel to lose one's husband and child at the same time. She thought she couldn't imagine that kind pain yet a tiny voice inside her told her that she did. She felt tears welling up in her eyes but she forced herself to concentrate on Georgiana-her own pain didn't matter.

She looked back up at Will surprised that he actually looked a little annoyed and thinking it was because of her hand having remained in his pulled it away abruptly.

Will felt the loss of Elizabeth's hand acutely and almost reached for it again but decided against it. He was frustrated with her. When he had told her about Brandon and Anne he had expected her to cry, to show some sign of emotion but she had just sat there cold as stone. He was angry with her that in the last three years she made no attempt to deal with her own grief-that she was still hiding all her emotions.

He shook his head slightly, decided his attention needed to be on Georgiana at the moment, and continued his story. "She has received several extensive surgeries however the doctors are afraid that she lost the will to live. She hasn't spoken since she woke up a week ago and heard about Brandon and Anne."

Elizabeth sat in silent contemplation for several moments before looking back at William, "What is the doctor's treatment recommendation?"

"He suggested psychotherapy, several medications, and most of all counseling. He believes she needs to talk about it, but doesn't think she'll open up to him. He thinks she needs someone she can trust."

"Yes, I agree. Most patients recover better if they trust their doctor. Do you think she will be able to trust her current doctor?"

William took a deep breath knowing this next part would be especially hard to get out, "Jane, Charles, and I have talked about it and we think...I think that you would be the best person to treat her."

Although Elizabeth had expected that she would be there to help Georgiana she was shocked that Will was formally asking her to be Georgiana's doctor. As she took it all in she shook her head slowly, "I can't treat Georgiana. Although I am psychiatrist you know I work mainly with children and teens."

"I know, but Dr. Brenton believes that doesn't matter. He believes your work with children might actually help her. She needs someone who will be patient with her, someone she cares about and who she can trust."

"I don't know, Will. Do you understand what this would mean? I would need to move here for an extensive period of time-a month at least. I want to help her, but surely there is someone else?"

"No, you're the best option."

"Will, I've been successful with my practice but moving back here...? Finding a place to live in Lambton for a month will be expensive."

"I will pay you whatever you need."

"I won't accept your money, Will. I would do this because I care about her."

He nodded his head. They both sat in silence for several moments before a solution came to Will's mind. Immediately he had dismissed it as absurd, but the more he thought about it the more sense it made. Finally he swallowed his pride and quietly added, "What if you stayed in the guest suite?"

"Are ... are ... you serious? You'd want me to stay at your house?"

'No that's the last thing I want,' he thought. In fact, he hated the idea that he would be constantly thrown in her presence if she stayed in the suite. He knew it would be horribly painful to have to see her very day. So Will let his anger get the better of him and he replied with more bitterness than he had intended.

"I would do anything for my sister. Even though I might find it extremely distasteful."

Elizabeth frowned and replied sarcastically, "Well I wouldn't want you to do anything that you find distasteful." She had meant to end her comment there however her tongue got the better of her and she added, "I wouldn't want to mess up your social calendar though. I mean I'm sure your dates would love to hear that your estranged wife is living with you again."

Will intense gaze studied her for a moment before he said, "Georgiana is my top priority for the moment and I don't think I'll be having too many dates over."

In reality Will hadn't been on a real date in since Elizabeth. He had taken acquaintances to parties, simply as escorts but he had not been out with another woman. Technically, he was still married to Elizabeth and even though they were separated, he felt that going on a date would be like being unfaithful to her. However, then he thought about her going out on dates and it made his blood boil. Not that he didn't want Elizabeth to be happy, he just couldn't stand the thought that it was another man's doing.

Will realized though that this was not the time to bring up her love life and definitely not the time to insult her. He needed to get to conversation back on track, "Beth. Although it might not be the ideal situation I truly think you living in the house would be the best for all of us. I'm just very concerned about my sister and I'm not thinking straight. Will you consider being Ana's doctor?"

Elizabeth stared at him for several moments, "I'll think about it."

Will nodded his acceptance and they both looked up to see Jane and Charles approaching their table with their sandwiches. They all ate a quiet lunch none of them knowing an appropriate topic of conversation. When Will finished and cordially asked Elizabeth to join him in visiting Georgiana, Jane and Charles both breathed a sigh of relief.

Jane waited until they had slipped past the door before turning to Charles and saying, "At least they didn't yell at each other"

Charles smiled slightly, "I will have to admit that I never thought a lunch between the four of us could be quite so uncomfortable."

"Nor I. Charles, why do they both have to be so stubborn? I don't understand why they fight the connection between them so much."

"Well, you said it. They're both extremely stubborn and hurt. Those two things make a lethal combination. When people are angry and hurt it doesn't make a difference how much they love each other if they're not willing to try and work it out."

"What kills me is that he was willing. She just wouldn't stop running long enough to hear him out."

"Did you ever find out why she left?"

"No, she still hasn't told me. I know that it has to do with the baby but I feel like that it was more than that."

"Yes, from what little Will told me I gathered it was much more than that."

"Do you think that this may be their second chance?"

"I have no idea. I wish it was because they were so good together, but they have so much to work through."

"Do you think he still loves her?"

"Without a doubt-he may try and fight it because it hurts too much to love her, but in his heart, he does. What about Beth's feelings?"

"She may not admit it but I think she does."

"Do you think she'll stay for Georgiana?"

"Yeah, she won't be able to leave her."

Charles stared at Jane and smiled sweetly at her before giving her a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Charles, what was that for?"

He shrugged, "Jane, promise me that you'll never let what happen to them happen to us. That you'll fight for us, and you'll never give up on me."

Jane smiled slightly and then leaned over as kissed him. Her kiss was a little more passionate but she quickly pulled away and snuggled in his tight embrace.

"Charles, I love you and will fight for us until the day I die. I'll never give up on you.

Beth entered into Georgiana's room closely followed by Will. Tears welled up in her eyes at the sight of her friend hooked to all those tubes and machines. Elizabeth hated hospitals. Every time she entered one, she got that same cold, desolate feeling in the pit of her stomach. All hospitals reminded her of that horrible day. She shook her head trying to keep all her fears and emotions from pouring out while Will stepped in front of her and took Georgiana's hand. "Ana? Look who's here."

Georgiana didn't move her head and kept her steadfast gaze out the window. Will motioned for her to go around to other side, so she took a deep breath and called out to her, "Georgie? It's me darlin', Elizabeth."

This time Georgiana slowly turned her head away from the window, looked Elizabeth up and down before turning her gaze back to the window.

"Georgie? How are you feeling?" No answer. So Elizabeth walked over to the other side of the bed and took Georgiana's hand and squeezed it.

"Darlin', please, say something."

No answer came again, but this time Georgiana did squeeze her hand a little bit.

Elizabeth smiled, "Aw ... Georgie, if I could fix this for you I would." Elizabeth kissed her forehead and looked at Will.

"Will..."

Will held up his hand and motioned for her to follow him back into the hallway.

"Please, Beth say you'll help her."

"I ... I ... Well before I decide anything I would like to talk to the doctor. Would that be possible to arrange?"

"Of course. The psychiatrist is named Dr. Brenton and I'm sure that Dr. King would like to talk to you as well."

"Dr. Brenton, Dr. King I would like to introduce you to my ... um ... I mean ... Dr. Elizabeth Bennet."

Elizabeth tried to cover Will's embarrassment by recovering quickly, "Dr. Brenton, Dr. King, it is a pleasure to meet you."

"Dr. Bennet, a pleasure as well. Won't you take a seat?"

"Thank you, Dr. King."

"Dr. Bennet, Mr. Darcy told us you would like to talk to us. He also indicated you would consider being Mrs. Lewis's psychiatrist.

"Well, my specialization is in psychiatry however I'm mainly a children specialist. I would like to help her I am not convinced I would be the best person."

"Why ever not? From what I understand you were, at one time, very good friends with the patient. I believe she needs a friend, someone she can trust. How do you not fit that requirement?"

Elizabeth gave a side-long glance at Will before answering, "Doctor, Georgie and I are still friends, but we are nowhere near as close as we once were. You see, Georgie and I did not talk to each other for almost two years and then, out of the blue, she emailed me. Back when I lived here in England, I worked with a pediatrician she was considering to be Anne's doctor and wanted my opinion of him. However, she still harbors some resentment against me for my situation with Will." As she said this, she noticed that Will's cheeks colored slightly and his back became a little stiffer.

"Dr. Bennet, it is not my place to get involved in your marriage, however I do still believe you are the best choice. Mrs. Lewis contacted you because she trusted your judgment enough to help her make a serious decision regarding her daughter. That shows me she respects and trusts you. Mr. Darcy told us that she squeezed your hand; this is more movement than we've seen since the day she woke up. She needs to deal with her grief or I fear she will never truly recover until she does."

"Dr. King, what is her physical prognosis?"

"Well, she will require two more surgeries, although she seems to be recovering much more slowly than we would usually like. We are having to feed her intravenously because she has been refusing regular food. She is continually unresponsive. Her squeezing your hand was a very big accomplishment and you did that during your first meeting. I feel that you would a tremendous support to her recovery."

Elizabeth sighed and then looked from Will to the doctors.

"Gentleman, might you give me and Will a moment alone?"

"Of course."

The couple sat in silence for several moments as Elizabeth pondered her predicament. Part of her knew she needed to stay, but could she? How could she possibly live in a house with her husband, not even really her ex-husband. She ran her hand over her face and took deep breath. She knew what she needed to do.

With a deep breath Elizabeth gave Will her answer, "I'll do it."

Will turned to her with the first genuine smile she'd seen on his countenance since she returned, "Thank you, Beth."

"There is no need to thank me. I just hope I can help her."

Will studied her thoughtfully for a moment before adding, "I know this is strange, but I truly believe you can."

Smiling slightly Elizabeth nodded.

"I'll have Mrs. Reynolds prepare the guest suite for you. Is that still okay?"

Elizabeth closed her eyes and sighed before nodding. She couldn't really believe what she had gotten herself into. After spending three years avoiding Will so completely, now she was volunteering to stay at his house, their old home. So I have really gone insane.

Elizabeth and Will had parted ways shortly after. He had gone to inform Jane and Charles of her decision and she had gone to make a couple phone calls. She had no idea what she was going to tell Charlotte. So, taking a deep breath she dialed her work number.

"Elizabeth Bennet's office, how can I help you?"

"Hey Charlotte, it's Elizabeth."

"Hey ... how's England?"

Elizabeth snorted and then added sarcastically, "Great. We're all just peachy."

"So are you going to give him the papers?"

"Charlotte! I can't think of that right now! Georgie is a complete mess, she needs me. This is not the time to think about my relationship with Will."

"Elizabeth, this may be your only chance to work things out with Will. I mean, you could either divorce him, or have a nice little chunk of change, or you could get back together with him."

"Charlotte ... I don't want his money."

"Beth, you could be living so luxuriously..."

"Charlotte! Stop! Even if I do give Will the papers, I will not take any of his money. I didn't marry him for his money and I won't divorce him for it either."

The line was silent for several moments before Charlotte answered, "You know I would never expect anything different from you, Beth."

"Thank you for understanding, Charlotte. Right now I've got to stay here and focus on Georgiana."

"Stay there. What do you mean stay there?"

"I mean stay England. I'm using my vacation days. I know I have plenty saved up. I haven't missed a day in two years, and your dad can take over my patients while I'm gone."

"Of course, but Beth have you thought about this? I mean staying there."

"Charlotte, I don't have choice. She needs me."

Beth heard Charlotte sigh before responding, "So do you need me to book you a hotel room?"

"No, I'm staying with Will."

"What! Are you completely crazy?"

"Charlotte..."

"No! Beth, please take a minute to think this over. You've agreed to stay in the same house with your ex, the man who completely shattered your heart."

"It's painful for both of us. I probably hurt him just as much. Don't think I have forgotten what happened between us. It's not like I'm planning on getting back together with him. The damage is done, and neither one of us wants to repair it."

"Be careful, Beth."

"I will Char. But I do need a favor."

"Yeah?"

"Well I don't think I have enough clothes. I only packed for three days, so can you send me some more stuff?"

"Of course. Take care of yourself okay? And I'm here if it gets too crazy over there."

"Thanks I'll remember that."

"Beth agreed?" Charles said standing up from his seat outside Georgiana's waiting room.

"Yes. I'm quite surprised actually. I didn't think she would."

"So do you want her to stay with us?" Jane asked standing next to Charles.

"No she's staying the guest suite."

"Will ... you don't have to do that. We only live 30 minutes away."

"No, we've agreed it would be best for her to stay with me. Anyways, I have thought it over and it'll be good for Ana to have her so close."

Jane nodded, "That's true, but Will, are you sure that this good for you?"

"Jane thank you for concern but it's only for a couple of weeks and I can manage."

"Will, I don't like this."

"I don't either Charles, but it's what is best for Ana, and as we agreed earlier, we can't lose her."

Charles patted Will on the back, "You know we're here for you if it gets to difficult with her."

"Thanks, Charles, and you too, Jane, I don't know where I'd be without you."

The next several days went fairly quickly as preparation for Georgiana's release from the hospital was top priority on everyone's mind. Her last few surgeries had been completely successful, and she was now recovering slowly. The doctors had allowed her release by the end of the week.

Although Elizabeth and Will were both constantly in each other presence they barely spoke two words to each other. Jane and Charles had spent most of their time with their children and planning the memorial service for Brandon and Anne. They had already been buried several weeks before, but because of concern for Georgiana, there had not been a funeral. Jane and Charles planned the service for a month from the present because of Elizabeth's treatment plan. Elizabeth wanted Georgiana to start dealing with her grief before subjecting her to a service.

Elizabeth's niece and nephew had been allowed to come into Town to visit her for the day. They had spent that time enjoying a picnic and Frisbee in the park. She couldn't believe how much they had grown in the last three years It was nice to be back with Jane and to actually spend time with her family, but she knew this trip wasn't for pleasure. She had a mission and she wasn't going to forget it.

So, she tried to spend as much time with Georgiana as possible, and avoided having to spend time with Will. The first wasn't too difficult because she simply talked to her, trying to illicit some type of response from her. So far she had only limited success but she was still optimistic. Elizabeth knew the grief of losing a child so she didn't push her too terribly hard.

Avoiding Will was nearly impossible. They both were constantly visiting Georgiana. At first they hadn't said a word to one another because they were both afraid of being uncivil, but finally, both had decided that they could try to be civil on Georgiana's behalf.

On the day before Georgiana's release Elizabeth had been getting lunch in the cafeteria when she felt a hand on her shoulder, "Beth."

She jumped slightly at the touch and the sound of his voice but nonetheless calmly turned around and looked at him.

"Yes, Will?"

"I am returning to Pemberley for a few hours today, and I was wondering if you would like to join me and get yourself situated in the guest chamber, so you don't have to worry about it tomorrow."

Elizabeth liked this idea, so she agreed and Will told her he planned to leave as soon as possible.

"Is that alright with you?"

"Sure, but I will need to stop by the hotel and get the rest of my things."

"Okay, we'll leave in ten minutes. I just want to run up and so good-bye to Georgiana. I'll meet you in the car park."

Elizabeth looked around at the interior of Will's car. He had bought a new SUV with all the new features. 'Typical,' she thought 'he always has to have the best.' She looked over at the man sitting in the driver's seat and studied his features. She could see how little he'd changed in the last three years. He could be kind and loving but at same time he could wear that cold, aloof mask that so frustrated her.

"Do you need something?"

Elizabeth shook her head and blushed as she realized she had been caught staring at him and tried to think up a reply. "I was lost in thought."

Will just nodded in response. Elizabeth tapped her foot impatiently wishing there was some topic of conversation that would not be awkward for them. She decided to compliment his car.

"I really like your new car, it's very nice looking."

Smiling slightly he thanked her, and she grew more frustrated.

"You know, I said something about your car, you should talk the weather or the state of the roads."

"So you still talk by rule during car rides?"

"Yeah, I actually find it more enjoyable then being taciturn and saying nothing for two hours."

"Then please direct me on what you should like me to say."

Elizabeth let out and exasperated sigh, "I don't care. Anything would do."

"Have you read Mr. Thompson's latest book?"

"No, I have been too busy with work to be able to read poetry."

"What a pity. It's very good."

"I bet."

"You, know you have changed."

"Really? Do tell in what way," Elizabeth tried to control her mounting frustration but his attitude was starting to weigh on her.

"The girl I used to know would never let work stop her from reading poetry."

"Maybe I have changed. I guess I learned throwing yourself into work has some merits. You know, I did learn from the best," she replied smirking at him slightly.

"Actually, I have realized that being too consumed with work can only destroy a person."

"Hmmm ... sadly, I'd say you learned that too late."

"Maybe, but at least I've tried to learn from my mistakes," he said indignantly.

Elizabeth cringed but determined not to let his comment slide replied, "Really? Well I guess that makes two of us. You know, all the men I date now are nothing like you-thankfully."

Frowning, Will rejoined sarcastically, "Good, now I can add unfaithful to the all the other qualities of the excellent wife."

"Are you going to try to tell me you haven't dated anyone in the last three years?"

"I take my wedding vows seriously, Elizabeth."

Elizabeth burst out laughing, "Oh now please, that's a load of crap and you know it."

"Elizabeth, I don't care if you believe me or not, but I have never cheated on you and will not date anyone until we are no longer married."

Needless to say, they did not speak again until they reached the house.

That night Elizabeth sat in the guest chamber of Pemberley and again admired how beautiful her home had once been. She had missed Pemberley during the last three years. Elizabeth thought back to how tense the whole rest of the evening been. Mrs. Reynolds was civil to her but she no longer spoke to her with the old warmth. Will had almost ignored her completely since their earlier conversation in the car.

Elizabeth cringed as she thought about it. She knew she had baited him and then when he had been hurtful she lashed back. She shook her head thinking about how their conversation always turned hurtful no matter how innocent they began.

In reality, Elizabeth had only been on one date during the last three years. Despite her mother's protest, she really had no desire to date anyone. Charlotte had set her up with her brother, Brian Lucas. Brian was handsome and actually intelligent but to her misfortune she found she had not been able to enjoy their date. Every topic of conversation had her wondering what Will would say to a similar question and whether he would laugh at certain jokes. So his comment about her being unfaithful had really upset her because in all honesty she had been faithful. She hadn't kissed or done anything else with anyone. Why do I let my big mouth get the better of me?

In his bedroom Will Darcy wasn't fairing much better than Elizabeth. He was frustrated that he had let his tongue loose after he had specifically promised himself to be civil to her, but it was hard not to be angry when she purposefully tried to get under his skin. Then there was the comment about her dating other men. He couldn't believe it. How could she have dated anyone else? I can't even look at another woman without thinking about her. Why is it so much easier for her to forget about me--to pretend that we never were in love? He shook his head, deciding to think about it no longer and gave in to his exhaustion.

chapter 7

Posted on Thursday, 3 August 2006

The next morning the couple was again in the car speeding towards London and so far not a word had been spoken between them. Elizabeth watched the passing countryside with wonder. Although she had seen it hundreds of times before, there was something about the beauty of nature that captivated her. She looked over at Will wishing there was some way she could apologize for her cruel comments yesterday. Deciding that she had to try she spoke,

"Will ... I ... wanted to apologize for yesterday. I haven't been unfaithful to you...you see in reality I haven't been on any real dates since..."

Will interrupted, "Beth really it's not necessary. We both let our tongues get the best of us yesterday; but, in all honesty, your love life is none of my concern. Although we are still married, I could hardly expect you to remain faithful to me."

"But don't you see I was. I haven't even kissed anyone since you ... I..."

"Please ... let's not talk anymore about this. It doesn't matter to me."

His words stung and had hit the mark, so Elizabeth just remained silent. However, the silence didn't remain for long, because it seemed that Will was in a talkative mood.

"So can you tell me about your treatment plan for Ana?"

Elizabeth squashed her frustration and let her professional nature take over. "Well, sure. I mean, mainly I've just been talking to her-trying to get some response from her. Right now she's lost in her grief, and my plan is to try and help her out of it. However, I would prefer if we don't talk about Brandon or Anne for the time being. Before letting her deal with her grief, she needs to be able to at least function on her own."

"What should we talk to her about?"

"Well, happier times-like for instance when you were children. I want to get her out of this dark cloud she has surrounded herself in. I talk to her about our time in high school and in college. I try to make her laugh or at least smile. I have thought about finding jokes to tell her. Any type of reaction right now would be wonderful."

"So what do you plan to do once she becomes responsive?"

"I plan on forcing her to accept her husband and daughter's death and then letting her grieve and help her through it. Will, this could take weeks I don't expect her to come out of this immediately."

"But you're sure this will help her? You promise that she will eventually be okay?"

"I can promise you I will help her recover; however, as for being okay...I have no idea. Losing a child can change a person."

Will looked over at her and sadly whispered, "I know."

When they reached the hospital, Will and Elizabeth made their way to Doctor King's office to have one last meeting with him before Georgiana was released. As they walked through the sterile, white hallways, Elizabeth kept close to Will's side. She hated hospitals. They always brought back memories of a night she wished she could forget. She shivered involuntarily and silently rejoiced that after today she would probably not have to be back in one for a very long time. When they reached his office, Dr. King welcomed them in and asked them to be seated.

"So today is the big day ... although I will say I'm nervous to release her just yet."

"Dr. King, I don't understand. I thought we all agreed that today was the day. Has something changed your mind?" Will asked.

"Mr. Darcy, let me lay my concerns at your door. Georgiana still is hardly eating on her own. I don't think it's good to take her from the hospital just yet."

Elizabeth joined the conversation by saying, "Dr. King, I do see your hesitancy; however, Georgiana is eating and, although it's not much ... I think it would be best for her to get away from the hospital. It will help her emotional recovery to be home. Release her to me as a doctor; if I feel that she is not improving or her physical health suffers because of it, I will bring her back to the hospital."

Dr. King was silent for several moments before answering, "I will agree to your suggestion if you are willing to call me every day with updates on her condition, and she will need weekly visits to the hospital."

This time Darcy answered, "Of course, Doctor. Anything you need for us to do to enable her recovery will be done."

"Good. The release papers should all be in order, and you should be able to leave within the hour."

"Thank you, Dr. King, for everything."

After they left Dr. King's office, Will went down to the fourth floor to sign Georgiana's release papers, and Elizabeth went back to the lobby to wait for them to return. Elizabeth hadn't slept well the night before, so sitting down she felt her weariness wash over her, but just as she was just about to give into it she heard someone calling her name.

"Beth?"

"Jane." She got up and hugged her sister. "Where's Charles?"

"He's at the office. He had some work he couldn't put off."

"Oh, well, how are the kids?"

"Great! They started at a new preschool yesterday, and it's all they could talk about all last night."

Elizabeth grinned. "Jane you have no idea how I've missed them and you these last years."

"Dearest, I've missed you, too, and the kids have missed their aunt. I hate the circumstances that have brought you back, but I'm glad you've been given an opportunity to be here with us again."

Hugging her sister tightly, Elizabeth fought against the tears that were threatening to fall. "Jane ... I'm glad I got to see them again."

Jane pulled back and wiped the tears that had fallen and decided it was time to change the subject. "Where's Will?"

"He went upstairs to sign Georgiana's release papers."

"Oh, right ... I called Will asking if he wanted us all to eat lunch together, but he said he would prefer just taking her home. But I still wanted to come see about you. How are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Elizabeth, you're going to be living with Will for the next couple weeks. You cannot tell me that's not having an affect on you."

"Jane, really, I'm fine. Sure it's a little awkward right now between us, but really I'm okay."

Elizabeth could see the frustration mounting in her sister's eyes, but still she was not prepared for her next words.

"Why do you always do this? Why do you always pretend that you're fine? I can tell you're not okay."

"Because, Jane, I am fine. Honestly, nothing is wrong with me."

"Beth ... honey do you not see what this is doing to you? Pretending that you're fine is crazy. You need to deal with your own grief."

"Please ... stop ... really, I'm okay."

"Elizabeth..."

The rest of their conversation was interrupted because of Will and Georgiana's approach. Elizabeth moved past Jane towards where Georgiana was sitting in a wheelchair. She knelt in front of her and inquired, "Hey, darling. How are you today?"

Georgiana didn't respond and just continued to look towards the window, so Elizabeth stood and faced Will. "So, are we all set?"

"Yes. Dr. King has given us the all clear."

"Excellent. So do you want me to go get the car?"

"No it's okay actually. I'll go get the car, you just stay here, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Jane, will you walk me out?"

"Yeah of course, I'll talk to you later," she said, turning to Beth.

Elizabeth nodded and then turned back to Georgiana as Will and Jane made their way out of the hospital.

"Georgie, do you mind if I sit next you," she said as she pointed to the chair next to hers. Georgiana still made no indication if she accepted the plan, but Beth sat down just the same. She took Georgiana's hand in her own and massaged it slowly.

She whispered softly, "Georgie, will you please look at me? Sweetie, can you smile for me? I really want to see that beautiful smile of yours." Elizabeth paused for a moment and then continued, "Georgie ... I know that you can hear me and I want you to know that I'm here for you. I want you to know that I love you, and I'm not going anywhere ... Georgie ... c'mon please look at me."

Georgiana still didn't move, but a few moments later Elizabeth felt a tiny squeeze on her hand. For Elizabeth that was all the encouragement she needed, so she continued to massage Georgiana's hand until Will came and picked them up.

As soon as Will had seen Jane in the waiting room he could tell she was upset, so he had asked her to come along with him in order to get to the bottom of her problem. As they walked towards the car, Will waited, hoping Jane would open up to him, but after several moments of silence he asked her, "Care to tell me what has you so agitated? I assume it has something to do with your sister?"

"Ugh!!" She let out a large breath in frustration. "I just don't understand her! I mean I asked her how she was doing, and she told she was fine. Good God none of us are fine. Brandon and Anne just died, Georgiana is a complete emotional wreck, and she has come back to England after not speaking to you for three years and tells me she's fine. Why does she do this? Why does she pull away from a family who loves her and wants to help? Did you know that she hasn't even dealt with the death of your child? I can see the pain still in her eyes, Will. It's unhealthy what she's doing to herself."

Will stopped and embraced her for some time. Later, once he felt Jane calm down a bit, he looked down at her and said, "I have tried to understand your sister for the last four years, ever since she started pulling away. I don't understand why she keeps running, but eventually she will break and I just hope that someone will be there to help her pick up the pieces when it happens."

"Me too, Will. I'm so scared for her. She preaches dealing with others' pain, yet at the same time she continues to try to bury her own. I want to help her, Will, and this trip may be my only chance. Georgiana is not the only one who needs to deal with her grief."

"I agree; but, Jane, how are you going to convince her that she needs to deal?"

"I don't think I can, but you could. Will, you could help her."

"I can't do that Jane, she won't let me in. I tried once and I will not go through that hell again. I haven't forgiven her for leaving yet; I don't think I can," Will replied bitterly.

Jane sighed, "I know, but please just promise me that if she falls apart while she's with you, you'll help her."

"I'm not an idiot, Jane." Will paused and was silent for several long moments before replying, "If she wants to deal with her pain, I'll do my best to help."

Jane nodded and smiled slightly before replying, "I want you happy, Will. Don't let her presence upset your life...the little happiness that you can find right now."

"I won't Jane. I still care about Beth, it's impossible to have loved someone for so long and not care, but there is too much between us..."

By now they had reached Jane's car which was only several down from Will's, so she unlocked her car door but turned back before entering.

"Good luck, Will. Call Charles or me if you need anything."

"Thank you, Jane."

Will shut Jane's door behind her and watched her drive off thinking about all she had said as he made his way to his car.

I can see the pain in her eyes, Will, It's unhealthy what she's doing to herself. He could see it, too, and it still wounded him. He hated that after three years she was still refusing to move on. He hadn't forgotten his son, but he had dealt with his death and continued to live. But he could see that she was still refusing to do that. She was still stuck in her anguish-only partially living-burying herself in work and wearing a mask to cover up her ache. If he hadn't known her so well, he would have missed it. Because of the love they once shared, he wanted to help her, but he felt that would be impossible to do.

chapter 8

Posted on Thursday, 3 August 2006

The evening after they returned from the hospital was spent helping Georgiana adjust to being home. Her bedroom had been moved to the first floor in order to help accommodate her better. Although she had begun physical therapy, she still needed a wheelchair to help her get around.

As Elizabeth stood in her room that evening, she looked in the mirror wondering how she had gotten to this point. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked around the room. Although she had never stayed here before, it was familiar and homey. It had high ceilings, and the walls were painted a beautiful deep shade of red. There was a fire lit on the far wall to help keep the home warm from the winter cold. Her bed was made of a rich mahogany and had a beautiful gold comforter on top. As she continued the inspection of her room, she was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

"Hello?"

"Lizzy?"

A wide smiled broke out on her face as she heard the familiar voice of her father-he was the only one who ever called her Lizzy.

"Dad! How are you?'

"I'm fine except for the heart attack I had when Mary told me you were back in England."

"Dad! Don't kid about having a heart attack."

"Don't you try and change the subject. Why in the hell are you back in England?"

"Will called me-"

"Will Darcy? You've got to be s******' me, darling."

"Dad! Please! There is no need for you to be crude. Georgiana was in a car accident. I came back to help her."

She heard her father let out a low whistle. "Is she okay?"

"She will be."

"Well, sweetheart, I do understand your motives, but are you sure this is a good decision?"

"I'm not sure of anything right now. But she needs me, and I need to be here for her."

"Hmmm."

Elizabeth decided it was time to change the subject, so she asked about his trip, and he told her that all went well and he would be back on the road in a couple of days.

"Now, Dad, make sure you're not overworking yourself-you're not as young as you once were."

"I know, Lizzy, but it's all I've got around here, and it keeps me busy."

"Have you talked to Lydia lately?"

"Darlin', you know how hard it is to talk to her. I mean, she's horrible about keeping in touch, but last time I talked to her she and Emma were doin' good. You should give her a call. I know she's busy in New York, but she would probably like to hear from you."

"Dad..."

"Lizzy, don't 'Dad' me ... you have to get over this guilt you feel. It's not you're fault. You never even knew Wickham and she had met. She's happy now in New York with Emma and Tom. I mean, you saw them all together at the wedding; there is no reason for you to hold on to this guilt. Lydia doesn't blame you for any of it; she has grown up and moved on ... and you should too."

"I know you're right Dad but ... never mind ... I will try."

"Please do sugar britches."

Elizabeth smiled at her father's strange endearment and added, "You know I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Oh, and Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't tell anyone back home I'm back in England-especially Mom."

"Darlin' the last time I ever told your mother anything was over a decade ago. You can count on me to keep your secret."

"Thanks. It's just ... you know how she'll get if she finds out, and right now I have more important stuff to worry about besides her."

"I know you do. Take care."

"You, too."

Elizabeth shut her phone and smiled as she remembered how, when she was little, she would wait impatiently by the phone so she would be the first to talk to him when he called from the road. He had been out on trips most of the time. When she was seven, it became even harder because her parents divorced.

Frances and Thomas Bennett met when they were both very young. They had been dating for less than a month when she found she was pregnant with Jane. Their parents had forced them to marry; and, for several years, although they had troubles, they had been happy. However, when Frances became pregnant for the fourth time and then gave birth to twins, Lydia and Kitty, their troubles became sky-high.

Thomas began to feel the strain of having five children to support, while Frances constantly complained that he was never home and she had to raise all the children by herself.

It hurt Elizabeth to hear her mother's resentment of having five children; it hurt to hear her resentment of Elizabeth in particular. She had always been her father's favorite; and, whenever he was home from his trips, he would spend time with her. They would spend hours talking about the places he'd visit, and he would always bring her a present from wherever he went. Usually it was something small, but she treasured each and every gift. Her mother hated the fact that her father would give Elizabeth the attention she felt she deserved.

Too small to really understand what was happening between her parents, it was hard for Elizabeth to listen to the two people she loved most in the world spew hatred at each other. Her father would leave for months at a time on business trips to avoid speaking to her mother, and her mother would always cry hysterically about the miserable life she had to endure.

The summer before their divorce, Jane was sent to stay with her Aunt and Uncle Phillips while Elizabeth was kept at home to help take care of the other children. That summer was especially brutal. Elizabeth didn't know if it was the heat or the humidity. but her parent's tempers were at an all-time high which left her right in the middle of their biggest battles.

That summer her father lost his job, which only gave her mother more reason to complain; and so, without any place to escape, both Thomas's and Frances's tempers exploded. Their incessant fighting lasted for a month until finally, one night, Thomas packed up and left.

After that night, Elizabeth's life had never been the same. Her parents had divorced. They had fought over the custody-neither wanting to have to take care of all five children by themselves-but finally, since Thomas's new job would prevent him from being home during the week, Frances was given full custody of all five children.

Elizabeth had been miserable without her father. Since, luckily, he had decided to live only about five minutes out of town, Elizabeth would ride her bike over to his house whenever he was home and sit with him for hours on the porch.

As Elizabeth grew older she began to see more and more of her father's faults, and it hurt to realize the man she had so idolized was not perfect-that as much as she wanted to, she couldn't blame the divorce and her miserable childhood on her mother alone.

Living in a small town didn't make any of Elizabeth's pain any easier. The confined borders made it impossible to ever escape. Besides Jane, Elizabeth never really tried to make any friends. In her mind, the people she loved only left her.

When Elizabeth turned thirteen, she went wild. She started skipping school and hanging out with an older crowd. They got her to drink; and, although she really didn't like it, she wanted to fit in with someone and felt they were all she had. Although Elizabeth loved Jane, she didn't feel she could confide in her. Jane was the perfect child, and Elizabeth thought she just wouldn't understand. However, one day she was caught stealing from the mall and spent the next three months doing community service. Those three months were good for Elizabeth. They made her realize her mistakes, and she decided she needed to change.

So finally, when Elizabeth was fifteen, she decided it was time for a change. She spent the entire school year saving up money and went on an international trip-where she met Georgiana Darcy. After that summer, her life changed completely. For the first time in her life, Elizabeth had met someone she could trust, someone she could care about who showed her unconditional friendship.

Georgiana had helped her learn what it was to be happy, had taught her to really have fun-to laugh. So, when she met Will four years later, her life completely turned upside down. She finally felt at peace with the Darcys; she had found where she belonged.

The hardest part for Elizabeth had always been opening up. She had never told Will or Georgiana about her childhood. They knew her parents were divorced, but she had never told them any particulars. She felt ashamed about who she had been and what she had done, so she had purposely left out the details. Part of her thought that if she told them everything, they would stop loving her; so she kept it inside, thinking that if she was good enough, she could keep them around. However, secrets and lies have a way of catching up with you. All Will wanted was for his wife to trust him and open up to him; so, when they lost their child, his prodding just pushed her completely away.

As Elizabeth reminisced about her past she shook her head, wishing things could have been different, but she knew she could never fix the mistakes she had made or convince them to forgive her-she still wasn't ready to forgive herself. However, she decided she could try and help take away some of the pain Will was feeling now.

chapter 7

Posted on Thursday, 3 August 2006

"Will ... I ... wanted to apologize for yesterday. I haven't been unfaithful to you ... you see in reality I haven't been on any real dates since ... "

"But don't you see I was. I haven't even kissed anyone since you ... I ... "

"Please ... let's not talk anymore about this. It doesn't matter to me."

His words stung and had hit the mark, so Elizabeth just remained silent. However, the silence didn't remain for long, because it seemed that Will was in a talkative mood.

"So can you tell me about your treatment plan for Ana?"

"What should we talk to her about?"

"So what do you plan to do once she becomes responsive?"

"I plan on forcing her to accept her husband and daughter's death and then letting her grieve and help her through it. Will, this could take weeks I don't expect her to come out of this immediately."

"But you're sure this will help her? You promise that she will eventually be okay?"

"I can promise you I will help her recover; however, as for being okay ... I have no idea. Losing a child can change a person."

Will looked over at her and sadly whispered, "I know."

"So today is the big day ... although I will say I'm nervous to release her just yet."

"Dr. King, I don't understand. I thought we all agreed that today was the day. Has something changed your mind?" Will asked.

"Mr. Darcy, let me lay my concerns at your door. Georgiana still is hardly eating on her own. I don't think it's good to take her from the hospital just yet."

This time Darcy answered, "Of course, Doctor. Anything you need for us to do to enable her recovery will be done."

"Good. The release papers should all be in order, and you should be able to leave within the hour."

"Thank you, Dr. King, for everything."

"Beth?"

"Jane." She got up and hugged her sister. "Where's Charles?"

"He's at the office. He had some work he couldn't put off."

"Oh, well, how are the kids?"

"Great! They started at a new preschool yesterday, and it's all they could talk about all last night."

Elizabeth grinned. "Jane you have no idea how I've missed them and you these last years."

"Dearest, I've missed you, too, and the kids have missed their aunt. I hate the circumstances that have brought you back, but I'm glad you've been given an opportunity to be here with us again."

Hugging her sister tightly, Elizabeth fought against the tears that were threatening to fall. "Jane ... I'm glad I got to see them again."

Jane pulled back and wiped the tears that had fallen and decided it was time to change the subject. "Where's Will?"

"He went upstairs to sign Georgiana's release papers."

"Oh, right ... I called Will asking if he wanted us all to eat lunch together, but he said he would prefer just taking her home. But I still wanted to come see about you. How are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"Elizabeth, you're going to be living with Will for the next couple weeks. You cannot tell me that's not having an affect on you."

"Jane, really, I'm fine. Sure it's a little awkward right now between us, but really I'm okay."

Elizabeth could see the frustration mounting in her sister's eyes, but still she was not prepared for her next words.

"Why do you always do this? Why do you always pretend that you're fine? I can tell you're not okay."

"Because, Jane, I am fine. Honestly, nothing is wrong with me."

"Beth ... honey do you not see what this is doing to you? Pretending that you're fine is crazy. You need to deal with your own grief."

"Please ... stop ... really, I'm okay."

"Elizabeth..."

Georgiana didn't respond and just continued to look towards the window, so Elizabeth stood and faced Will. "So, are we all set?"

"Yes. Dr. King has given us the all clear."

"Excellent. So do you want me to go get the car?"

"No it's okay actually. I'll go get the car, you just stay here, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Jane, will you walk me out?"

"Yeah of course, I'll talk to you later," she said, turning to Beth.

Elizabeth nodded and then turned back to Georgiana as Will and Jane made their way out of the hospital.

She whispered softly, "Georgie, will you please look at me? Sweetie, can you smile for me? I really want to see that beautiful smile of yours." Elizabeth paused for a moment and then continued, "Georgie...I know that you can hear me and I want you to know that I'm here for you. I want you to know that I love you, and I'm not going anywhere ... Georgie ... c'mon please look at me."