Previous Section, Section III
Chapter Nine
Posted on Sunday, 3 February 2008
Elizabeth struggled to get out of bed. She had trouble sleeping all night, but now her eyes would shutter as soon as she tried to open them. It was so frustrating. She could never get her body to behave the way she wanted it to. Her mind had remained occupied no matter how hard she tried to fall asleep. Thoughts of Will Darcy, his beautiful eyes, his sweet smile, his undeniable charm had battled with her more guarded instincts, depriving her of much needed rest. She held next to nothing against Will Darcy. Her first impression of him as a deceitful, egotistical sleaze had been preposterous in its injustice. She had begun to see him for who he was instead of what he was. He had a kind spirit, with an understandable amount of arrogance and a charming dollop of boyishness. His persistence had surprised her. She figured he would give up the chase after her second rejection, but he seemed hell-bent on winning her over.
The problem with Will Darcy was two-fold, his career and his youth. Relationships in the world of celebrities were notorious for their brevity. Traveling from place to place, making movies, promoting movies, dealing with the paparazzi all along the way was not conducive to love and marriage. Elizabeth knew from experience how distance could drive a wedge between relatives, lovers, and friends. She wasn’t about to lead herself down the road towards heartache, yet there was something special about Will, something in his manners, in his voice, in his smile that made it impossible for her to tear herself away. He had so much potential. Now that she had convinced herself of his sincerity, she had to admit there was a great deal in his personality and in his appearance that attracted her. He was her type. They had chemistry. They both felt it and they were both in the middle of a desperate attempt to deny it.
Sitting next to him on his sofa the night before, watching a movie, sharing laughs, and discussing the work that went into creating those scenes, Elizabeth had felt content. She had been relieved to find that, contrary to her expectations, there wasn’t a shred of awkwardness between them. Will seemed to have taken her request for friendship to heart, and that went a long way towards gratifying her. His behavior reinforced her belief that she had made the right decision. Such a pleasant evening had made it harder than usual for Elizabeth to go to work that night. Her sore muscles and splitting head ache reflected her physical exhaustion. She wished Will had been there to help her, but then chastised herself for being so silly and selfish. He was not a toy. He could not be there at her every beck and call.
Elizabeth’s frustration with the wanderings of her own mind proved to be motivation enough to finally move her from her bed. She stood up, tamed her unruly hair, and dressed. She then met Jane in the kitchen, who gazed at her with a smug, mischievous smile on her face.
“I heard you were with Will Darcy last night.” Jane waggled her eyebrows.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “God, Jane, you’re becoming worse than Lydia!”
Jane giggled. “So, what’s going on with you two? Are you dating him?”
“No, I’m not dating him. We’re just friends.”
Jane’s eyebrows shot up in obvious disbelief. “Friends?”
“Yes, friends. I like him. He’s a nice guy. I don’t want to be in a relationship with him at the moment, but I don’t want to avoid him either, so we agreed to be friends.”
Jane lowered her eyes and bent her head. She must have disapproved of Elizabeth’s insistence on friendship, but she said nothing for so long that Elizabeth thought she would not argue with her. Elizabeth was wrong.
“Liz, how can you be friends with him? You know he’s attracted to you! He might pretend to be happy with friendship, but you can’t be stupid enough to believe he wants nothing more than that.”
Elizabeth let out a frustrated sigh. “What else could I have done? Jane, he’s only in New York for his movie shoot. A couple months from now, he will go back to Los Angeles and then where will I be? He’ll forget all about me in Hollywood and find someone else. If I let myself get involved with him now, it won’t bring me anything other than pain and regret.”
“So, you’re determined to break his heart before he can get to yours.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t think being friends with him will end in heartbreak for either of us. He’ll get over whatever it is that he feels towards me and learn to see me as a friend with time. Once he finishes the movie, we won’t see each other as much, though I’m hoping we can still keep in touch.”
“Oh well, you’ve made your decision, and it’s obvious there is nothing I can say to change your mind, so I might as well give up. All I can say is I hope you are right and both you and Will are happy with things the way they are.”
Elizabeth smiled at her sister and changed the topic of conversation to her relationship with Charles. Jane’s mood brightened and her gushes about her wonderful boyfriend streamed forth. When that discussion was over, Elizabeth went to her room, fell onto her bed, and read a book until it was time for her to go to work.
As she approached her club that night and saw yet another enormous line of customers and trend-followers winding down the street, she took a deep breath. She had hoped the massive frenzy created by Will’s one night stand as a bartender would die down as soon as people realized he wouldn’t do it again, but she had underestimated the power of celebrity. Every night, her club would fill to the brim with people who would not have been caught dead there otherwise. Teeny-boppers, agents, super-models, fashionistas, and all sorts of celebrities flocked to “The Beat and Bop.” Even Caroline Bingley had deigned to grace the rock club with her presence, though she looked just as astonished at finding herself in a hole in the wall joint of the East Village as Elizabeth had been. Years ago, when she first came up with the idea of opening her club, she never would have thought she would one day serve a strawberry daiquiri to a world famous actress and infamous snob like Caroline Bingley.
Despite the surge in revenues, Elizabeth hated the insincere attention her club was now receiving. The paparazzi hung around the neighborhood, following her and snapping intrusive photographs of her whenever she happened to be with Will. Her privacy became a thing of the past, and rumors of a romantic relationship between her and Will became the favorite headlines of tabloids. Will tried to shield her from the glare of the cameras as much as he could, but the truth was there was little he could do to change things. Her association with him had made her a target of the pop culture obsessed media, and she had no choice but to adjust to the craziness surrounding her life.
The media swarm did not harm Elizabeth’s friendship with William, however. They spent increasing amounts of time with each other. She developed the habit of visiting Will’s movie set twice a week and they often had lunch or dinner with each other. Will was very kind to the paparazzi, he gave them far more than they deserved, in Elizabeth’s view. He posed for pictures and chatted with them, referring to the photographers by name and even cracking jokes with them. He often put himself forward while allowing Elizabeth to stand aside, distracting the paparazzi so that their cameras focused on him, ignoring her in the process.
More often than not, Elizabeth and Will interacted in private. Elizabeth had many dinners at Will’s apartment, and he haunted her neighborhood whenever he wasn’t working. Thus, there were many opportunities for both of them to learn more about each other. Weeks passed by in this manner, and the more she saw of Will, the more Elizabeth let down her guard. Experience showed her he was a good listener, who could give sensible advice without being patronizing. He trusted her and confided in her and Elizabeth began to feel obliged to rely on him in return.
It started off with little things, a story here, and a request for advice there. Will gained her trust with every new revelation. He had yet to break a promise, and Elizabeth’s caution gave way with each example, each piece of evidence regarding his reliability. Will was chipping away at every single one of her suspicions and hesitations and his success was fully realized one evening, over a month into their friendship, after he had dinner with her at her apartment.
Elizabeth opened up on a specific subject that she had resisted in the past. Will had managed to convince her to let him see her bedroom. He came off so friendly and innocuous that Elizabeth dared not refuse him. She no longer worried about his former romantic attachment to her, she believed he had overcome those emotions and submitted them to friendship. She kept her most prized possession, her beloved Fender Stratocaster next to her bed, which Will remarked on the instant he walked into her room.
“Wow, is that baby yours?”
Elizabeth giggled and nodded. Will raised his eyebrows, looking very much impressed.
“I wish I had a guitar like that. I could buy one, but it would be pointless. I’m nowhere near good enough to own such a great instrument.”
Elizabeth’s nose wrinkled. “Have you played guitar before?”
Will grinned. “Yeah, I can get by with choking out a few out of tune chords.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Let me guess, you played a rock star in a movie.”
Will smirked. “Nope. This is something I learned on my own.”
“You mean you taught yourself to play guitar as a hobby? Dang it, you found my weakness. I have to think well of you now.”
Will chuckled. “Yeah, believe it or not, I learned how to play an instrument just for fun. We have that one thing in common, since I remember you said you used to play guitar. Jane mentioned you were in a rock band for a while. How come you don’t play anymore?”
Elizabeth wished she could change the subject, but he had asked her about this before and she knew he wouldn’t let her avoid the question this time.
“I still play, sometimes…but only in private…I don’t like performing for others. I…I gave up on being a professional musician a long time ago.”
“What made you change your mind?”
Elizabeth glanced away for a moment. The awful memories flooded into her mind, threatening to swallow it whole. She fought back, however, and stayed calm. Taking a deep breath, she looked into Will’s eyes and prepared her explanation.
“It all started…oh, forget it, I don’t want to take five hours to explain…okay, to make a long story short: young, naïve girl forms a band, young naïve girl meets charismatic musician, young naïve girl falls for charismatic musician, young naïve girl accepts charismatic musician into her band, young naïve girl and charismatic musician disagree about the direction of the band, charismatic musician undermines young naïve girl at every opportunity, charismatic musician dumps young naïve girl, charismatic musician then gets band manager on his side and kicks young naïve girl out of her own band, young naïve girl is no longer young and naïve. End of story.”
Will went up to Elizabeth and held her hand. “I’m sorry that happened to you. You deserved better.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Thanks, but don’t worry about me…I got over it…in fact, I kept playing and performing after I was sacked…I tried to go it alone, I wanted to make it as a singer songwriter, but the bills kept piling up and I was working two jobs plus playing anywhere I could and…well, I had majored in business as a back up plan, in case I couldn’t succeed in music…so when I got to a point where I couldn’t afford to pay the rent anymore, I stopped trying and pursued a career in business instead…after a few years, I made enough money to buy a little place in Alphabet city and turned into a club, and the rest is history.”
Will gave her a half-smile and then walked away from her. His attention became consumed by the Fender guitar. He brushed his fingers down the neck of the guitar and then took hold of it at its base. He turned around and gave Elizabeth a pleading look.
“Will you play one of your songs for me?”
Elizabeth blushed and could not come up with an answer. Will approached her and held the guitar out towards her.
“Please. I really want to hear you…how about you play me a song, and I’ll play something for you afterwards. Deal?”
Elizabeth sighed, knowing he wouldn’t quit until she gave in. “Deal.”
He handed her the guitar and she took hold of it, trying her best to repress the nervousness rising within her. She sat on her bed, crossed her legs, and held the guitar against her stomach. Her anxiety died down as soon as her fingers plucked the strings. An old song of hers came to her mind, and she smiled at the memory of the day she had written it.
I’m a down and out girl with a heart of gold
I went from rags to riches
Then crashed and burned
With drug-fueled bingesIt’s all been told
Nothing new at all here
We’ve heard it all before
It’s all been told
The lyrics flowed out of her as if they were brand new. She felt the strain of the past few years fade away. Her lips smiled and her voice rose as her heart lifted.
Sang about promises not kept
All those hours I should have slept
Broken hearts and mending souls
Angst ridden lyrics of oldIt’s all been told
Nothing new at all here
We’ve heard it all before
It’s all been toldSoft kisses before I sleep
Left alone as I weep
Suffering that goes too deep
Turning men and women into sheepIt’s all been told
Nothing new at all here
We’ve heard it all before
It’s all been toldPaparazzi on my trail
Rumors gone beyond the pale
Scream up a storm and wail
It’s nothing new, it’s all been told
Elizabeth noticed Will staring at her and grew uncomfortable. She reminded him of his promise and gave him the guitar, hoping that unfathomable look on his face would disappear. As he started playing, his eyes shifted their focus. He could no longer gaze at her; instead he stared at the wall behind her. Elizabeth was confused by this behavior, but she sent her niggling doubts to the back of her mind and concentrated on Will’s singing. She recognized the song after only a few chords and grinned. How smart and tasteful of him to pick the song "Ring of Fire" by Johnny Cash!
Love Is A Burning Thing
And It Makes A Fiery Ring
Bound By Wild Desire
I Fell Into A Ring Of FireI Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went HigherAnd It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of FireI Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went HigherAnd It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
Will’s voice grew lower and more vulnerable as he sang so that by the time he reached the second verse, his voice was breaking. His posture stiffened as well and his face paled. Elizabeth grew concerned, her worries for him beginning to overwhelm her joy in his singing.
The Taste Of Love Is Sweet
When Hearts Like Ours Meet
I Fell For You Like A Child
Oh, But The Fire Went WildI Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went HigherAnd It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of FireI Fell Into A Burning Ring Of Fire
I Went Down, Down, Down
And The Flames Went HigherAnd It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring Of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
And It Burns, Burns, Burns
The Ring of Fire
The Ring Of Fire
The last lines were whispered rather than sung. Elizabeth had by now pushed her worries aside and did not hesitate to express her admiration for his talent.
“That was great, Will! Your voice is very nice.”
Will bent his head, his eyes directed at the floor. Elizabeth was surprised by his awkwardness. He stroked his hair and started fidgeting.
“Uh…thanks…I uh…I should get going.” He stood up and started for the door.
“You’re going now? But it’s still so early.”
Will continued towards the door. “I had a long day…I’m really tired…I should go home,” he murmured, his back facing her.
“Oh…okay. Goodbye then.”
“Bye,” he said and with a few more quick steps, he was out the door, without ever looking back.
Chapter Ten
Posted on Saturday, 23 February 2008
What was he thinking? How could he have deluded himself enough to believe he could remain nothing more than a friend to a woman as loveable as Elizabeth Bennet? How could he have been arrogant enough to think himself impermeable to her charms? How could he have been silly enough to hope she would change her mind as time went by? An intelligent, experienced woman, who had been scorned in the past, would not be foolish enough to place herself in yet another vulnerable situation. She had built up a sturdy reserve through the years and, despite all of the advantages he had in life, he stood incapable of breaking through it.
Though his heart ached, he could not blame her for behaving as she did. She could not have recognized his true feelings. Despite the pain she had been through, Elizabeth had not grown cruel. Her request for friendship was an honest one, and Will doubted she would have made it if she had any idea of how far he had fallen for her. The fault for his disastrous situation rested on nothing other than his own shoulders. He had counted on her to forget the past for his own selfish gain. He had never considered her feelings on the matter. He had not bothered to wonder if she was ready to risk making the same mistake again.
With a shattered heart and an unhinged frame of mind, Will drove his car, heedless of the pouring rain, in the dark of night. Pulling into the parking lot, he thanked his lucky stars for being spared from an accident. He sprinted to the elevator and thrust his back against its cold steel walls. He pounded his fist against the unforgiving metal, and then screamed in pain. Forcing his hands behind him and tossing his head up to the ceiling, he cursed himself for free-falling to the lowest depth of an unending abyss.
Once the hostile elevator reached his floor, he slammed the door of his apartment and flopped onto the couch. He buried his head in his hands, wondering how on Earth he would be able to get through this. Sitting across from Elizabeth, singing those words to her, had made him acquainted with the wishes of his own heart, but his brain knew it was hopeless. Elizabeth could not give him what he wanted, she had refused him before, and she would do it again, when given the chance.
He picked up the phone and called Georgiana, refusing to trust himself to remain alone in the midst of despair. He felt overwhelmed with grief, the kind of emotion he had dreaded for years, the exact same sensation he had hoped he would never feel again. It struck him hard and he remained powerless to fight it.
A peculiar grief consumed him, peculiar in that it was not the sort of anguish he felt when his parents died, for Elizabeth was not lost to him forever. He could see her every day, he could talk to her, he could confide in her, but he could never express his love for her, he could not have her utter devotion, he would lose her to someone else some day, and then she would indeed be lost to him. His despair was not over the tragedy of losing a loved one to death, yet it engulfed him in the same powerful grip of helplessness and desolation. He grieved over the hopelessness of a passionate love that went unrequited. He suffered from the mischance of discovering that the very thing he wanted most in life was the only thing in the world he could not have.
Before he could allow his self-centered misery to swallow him whole, Georgiana arrived at his apartment and sat down next to him. She put a hand on his shoulder.
“Hey, what’s wrong? You sounded so distressed over the phone.”
Will lifted his head, but closed his eyes. He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with a woman who will never love me in return.” He poured his head into his hands again.
Georgiana gripped his wrist. “Oh Will, I’m so sorry! Anne told me this might happen, though I had hoped she would turn out wrong…listen, if there’s anything I can do for you, anything at all, please don’t hesitate to ask.”
Will looked up at Georgiana with a tremulous smile. “Thank you…Georgie, don’t…don’t worry too much…I will be fine…I promise, I will be fine.”
Georgiana gave him a weary smile. “It sure doesn’t look like it at the moment.”
Will ran his hands through his hair and sighed. “Your sister was right, as usual. I should have listened to her when she told me to avoid Elizabeth…God, I’m such an idiot. I have no one to blame for my problems except for myself.”
“You’re not an idiot. You followed your heart instead of your head. That’s not a rare mistake to make and you shouldn’t criticize yourself for it. Besides, what makes you think all hope is lost? You had been convinced Elizabeth would grow to love you, why don’t you believe in that anymore?”
“I was delusional and my impossible dreams were brought back down to reality by facts. Elizabeth told me she had fallen in love with a musician who broke her heart. Why would she ever take that risk again? What makes me special enough for her to change her mind? It’s hopeless, Georgie. I don’t stand a chance of winning her over.”
Georgiana did not respond, so Will continued to wallow in self-pity. “It serves me right. I went through life without much struggle, having all the money and success I could ask for, living a luxurious lifestyle that so many people dream about…and yet there was something missing, though I couldn’t for the life of me figure out what it was…and now, that I found it, now that I see what really matters in this world, the one thing I don’t have, the one thing I never had before…the same moment I solved the puzzle, I realized I can never have what I need more than anything else…I don’t know what to do, Georgie. I feel like I have relinquished control over my own life.”
“I’m sure your over-reacting, William. You’re so love-struck and disappointed at the moment that you can’t conceive of a happy outcome, but you’re not seeing things as they are. You’re allowing your emotions to overwhelm you, which is natural and okay for now, but you will calm down after a while and then you will be able to view things in a much better light.”
“I have to disagree. I’ve fooled myself with that sort of false optimism for too long. I have opened my eyes and realized how blind I’ve been. There is no light left for me and I don’t think there ever will be.”
Will leaned his head on Georgiana’s shoulder. Georgiana wrapped her arms around her miserable cousin’s neck and tried to comfort him as he waxed on about his troubles.
The next day, Will dragged his listless body to work without caring for anything unrelated to his own unfortunate situation. Acting could not provide an escape for him, the movie he was making held lost all of its sway over him, his friends could not keep him company, his enemies could not get under his skin, his thoughts were centered only on Elizabeth and there they would remain.
His co-stars commented on his absent-mindedness and Collins grumbled about his apparent lack of motivation, but Will would not be lifted out of his slump. He didn’t even try. Caroline bickered with him, yelling that this movie, and the inferior supporting role that came with it, would be the death knell of her career. She complained to her brother and threatened to do everything in her power to destroy Will’s status in Hollywood if her reputation took a hit. Will heard little of her ranting, and could not have cared less had he heard the whole of it.
The following weeks passed in this unbearable manner. He avoided Elizabeth at all costs, leaving her messages unanswered and turning his cell phone off when he saw her number appear on his caller i.d. Elizabeth’s prolonged absence in his life did nothing to assuage his misery, however. He still thought of her often. He struggled to erase the memories of her from his mind. He was overcome with confusion and agony. He wanted nothing more than to see her and talk to her again, but he did not believe he was strong enough to stay firm in her presence. How could he spend time with her, how could he even look at her without revealing his love for her? What would she do if she knew he loved her?
Surely, she would no longer insist on friendship. He had to break away from her, he could not endure the torture of seeing her lovely face every day and not being able to kiss it, he could not tell her of his day, cracking jokes and making her laugh, without wishing to tell her more, without longing to expresse his most prominent thoughts, feelings, and desires. Now that he knew he loved her, every hour in her company would be a venture in masochism. He lacked the fortitude, the patience, and the foolishness to subject his self to such unrelenting pain.
Yet, pretending she had never existed was impossible. He could not ignore her phone calls forever. He would have to see her one day and she would, without a doubt, demand an explanation for his sudden abandonment. He dreaded that day more than any other. He had thought about it again and again, mapping out all the possibilities of the conversation in his mind and asking both Anne and Georgiana for their advice on the matter, but he still was not satisfied with the final answer he had to give Elizabeth.
Will, therefore, was ill-equipped for a confrontation when he spotted Elizabeth at the Waldorf Astoria weeks after he had fled from her apartment. He was in the wardrobe room and had finished dressing for the next scene when she walked in with a backstage pass hanging around her neck. Will sighed, wishing he had told Charles of his decision to severe all ties with Elizabeth. Though he had told the whole story to Anne and Georgiana, he had kept his unrequited love for Elizabeth a secret from Charles, fearing his stupidity might get in the way of his best friend’s relationship with Elizabeth’s sister.
Will’s heart sunk under the fury of Elizabeth’s piercing gaze. He was not surprised to find her angry; he had proven himself to be unworthy of her friendship and was now faced with the task of destroying his relationship with the woman he loved.
“William, what’s going on? You haven’t returned any of my calls and I haven’t seen you since…”
“I know…I know. I’m sorry. I’ve been really busy,” he said in his most detached voice.
Elizabeth exhaled. “Listen, if I did anything to offend you that night, then I’m really sorry. I don’t know what I did wrong, but whatever it was, I hope you believe me when I say that I had no intention of hurting you.”
Will closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Don’t apologize. You have not offended me.”
He felt a pang of guilt seize him as he watched Elizabeth’s eyebrows crinkle in confusion. She seemed to be at a loss for words and lowered her head. Without thinking, he stepped towards her and lifted her chin up with his fingers.
Elizabeth stared into his eyes for a moment, but then switched her gaze downwards. “I’ve missed your company,” she whispered.
Will could do nothing but stare at her, while his emotions tore at each other. His determination to terminate his sham of a friendship with Elizabeth was now eroding. In theory, he knew what he had to do. In his mind, he had played the scene out, rehearsing the lines, the gestures, and speculating on her reaction, but his reflections had been in vain. With her standing in front of him, exposing a vulnerability she had buried in their previous interactions, he lost his will power. He could not bring himself to look into her eyes and tell her he didn’t want to see her anymore, not when the dearest wish of his heart was to enfold her in his arms and tell her how much he loved her and how he never wanted to be away from her.
The battle between Will’s heart and his head waged for several moments. In the end, his head had no choice but to concede defeat. He grabbed hold of Elizabeth’s hands and squeezed them, smiling when she looked up at him in surprise.
“I’m sorry. I’ve been a terrible friend, and even though I don’t deserve it, I hope you will forgive me.”
Elizabeth’s gracious smile made Will’s heart flutter, but his sense of reason made a comeback and he maintained an outward appearance of composure.
“There's nothing to forgive. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been so busy…Charles mentioned to Jane that the movie shoot is getting closer to the end. Your schedule should start lightening up soon, I hope?”
Will grinned. “Yeah, I think it will, but even if it didn’t, I promise I will do everything I can to make time for you.”
Will was astonished, but also pleased to see Elizabeth blush. “You don’t have to. I mean, I like hanging out with you, but I understand if you don’t have much spare time for me...Will, I suspect it would be best if I kept my mouth shut, but I can’t stop wondering why you left my apartment so suddenly the last time we were together…I can’t help but think I offended you somehow,” Will opened his mouth to speak, but Elizabeth cut him off before he could express his feelings, “don’t deny it Will, I know you were upset that night and you could pretend it’s nothing and lie all you want, but I won’t believe a word you say unless you tell me the truth.”
Will’s eyes widened and he lost control of his blinking as he listened to Elizabeth’s no nonsense speech. He hesitated, his mind scrambling for any halfway decent reply. He felt his head beginning to throb from the extensive exercise and touched his forehead with the palm of his hand.
“Uh,” he laughed in discomfort, “you never learned how to mince words, did you?”
Elizabeth slanted her head to the side, delivering her most intimidating ‘cut the crap and give me an honest answer’ look.
Will sighed and stopped prevaricating. “I…uh, I left because…well, I got uncomfortable…after I sang that song for you.”
Elizabeth’s expression softened, but her confusion remained evident. “Why were you uncomfortable?”
“I thought you might misinterpret my intentions in singing…I was worried you would read too much into the lyrics and think I was, you know…look, I was thinking of the past and how we…how we weren’t always on the same page and I wanted to leave before things got awkward between us.”
Elizabeth averted her eyes while he spoke and took a few steps backwards. “Oh, I see,” she whispered.
After an estranged pause, Elizabeth spoke in a more cheerful voice on a topic that would bring relief to both of them.
“So, Charles and Jane are planning to have dinner tonight and Jane invited me to join them. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind going with me.”
Will recovered enough to grin. “Ah, you want me to save you from being the dreaded third wheel?”
Elizabeth laughed. “Yes, will you please be Prince Charming and save this damsel in distress?”
Will rested his arm on Elizabeth’s shoulder. “I would love to, dearest.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes, but Will ignored her insolence. He was glorying over the fact that she didn’t draw away from his touch. It made him forget his earlier melancholy and sparked yet another glimmer of hope.
Chapter Eleven
Posted on Sunday, 30 March 2008
Will’s hope lasted long enough to make him a good companion for Charles and Jane. Elizabeth, on the other hand, was silent. He wondered what could be going through her mind, but he lacked the audacity to express those thoughts aloud. He talked of other, more trifling, matters instead.
“By the way, Chuck, did you hear that next week is the last week of the shoot?”
Charles coughed while trying to have a drink. “No, I didn’t. Is it really that close to the end?”
“Yeah. Collins announced it two days ago. I’m surprised Caroline didn’t tell you. I would have thought she’d be hounding you to find her another role by now,” he said with a knowing grin.
Charles smirked. “She did call me once or twice yesterday, but I have to admit I was too busy to pick up the phone.”
Will laughed, but Jane blushed at her boyfriend’s shameless implication.
“Does this mean you’ll be moving back to L.A. soon?”
Will turned towards Elizabeth with some surprise at hearing the sound of her voice after so long a silence.
“Uh…I don’t know…I guess I should if I want to do another movie, but I don’t really have to,” he lowered his voice and leaned closer to Elizabeth, “I can stay if I have a good reason to.”
Elizabeth lowered her head and covered her eyes by placing her hand on her forehead, but Will noticed her face redden.
“If I said I wanted you to stay, would that be a good enough reason?” she whispered.
Will grinned, feeling triumphant. “Do you have to ask? That’s the best reason I can think of!”
When Elizabeth looked up at him, he could see the mixture of amazement and joy in her eyes. Then it dawned on him. She didn’t think he would stay once the movie shoot ended. She must have had no clue of her powerful sway over him. She could not have known he would do anything she asked of him, if he found it in his power to do so.
Elizabeth’s gaze was fixed on him and Will found his eyes were just as focused on her. Staring into her eyes, he longed to kiss her. He felt the familiar feeling of hopelessness begin to overwhelm him as he realized he would ruin everything between them, if he did what his heart most wanted. He couldn’t bear the regret and drew away from her. Elizabeth must have noticed his change in demeanor. She distanced herself from him and watched with a puzzled frown as he turned his attention towards Charles and Jane, all the while, looking at Elizabeth out of the corner of his eye.
The dinner ended without much progress between Will and Elizabeth. However, he satisfied himself with the results of the evening. Elizabeth wanted him to stay and now she knew he would do anything to oblige her. He hoped this was the beginning of the end, as far as their friendship went. There were no more excuses now. She could no longer convince herself that he didn’t care for her. He had made as obvious a hint about his wishes as he could. It was up to her to make the next move. To his astonishment, Elizabeth did just that the next time he met with her.
Two days after they had dinner together, Elizabeth called and said she wanted to stop by his apartment. Will paced around the place, picking up scattered clothes and cleaning up the messy rooms. Restless with anxiety and enthusiasm, he tried to keep himself busy until she arrived. She greeted him in her usual way and made casual conversation for a few minutes, but then caught Will off guard by asking him to escort her to a party being thrown for a friend of hers. Will hesitated to answer, and Elizabeth proceeded to plead her case.
“Her name is Charlotte Lucas. She was a close friend of mine at UC Berkeley, but I haven’t seen her in a while. She lives in San Francisco. One of her brothers lives here in New York, and he’s throwing a party to celebrate her visit…the party is this Saturday, at 8. I hope you can make it.”
Will frowned and shook his head. He wanted to go, but knew better. A party was the kind of situation where he could see himself losing his self-control and revealing his feelings for Elizabeth. Elizabeth’s shoulders sunk in apparent disappointment.
“I’m sorry, but I already made plans for this Saturday.”
Elizabeth clasped her hands and bent her head downward. “Oh…I understand…I guess your plans aren’t something you can back out on, are they?” She lifted her head, giving him an uncertain smile.
“No, they’re not,” Will considered the possible excuses for a moment and then took a deep breath, “I have a date,” he lied, anticipating her reaction.
Elizabeth started. “Oh…Oh, I see,” she played with her hair, a tell-tale sign of her discomfort, “well then, I hope you enjoy yourself…I might talk to Charlotte’s brother. He didn’t seem sure of the date when he told me about the party. He might be able to change it…and then you can come, I hope…unless you already have plans for next Saturday as well?”
Will smiled, beginning to feel guilty about toying with her. It was obvious to him now. She didn’t see him as a friend any more than he did. The only difference between them, it seemed, was that he recognized his true feelings, while she appeared to be stuck in denial. He relented, despite his better judgment. He could never refuse her when she revealed her softer side to him.
“Yes I do,” he smirked at her crestfallen face and stepped towards her, “I plan on going to the party with you…that is, if you don’t mind, of course.”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes with a laugh and scolded him for teasing her. He didn’t see her again until the last day of the movie shoot. He had finished his last scene and Collins had yelled “It’s a wrap” when he spotted Elizabeth lingering on the set.
In the world of the movie, the good characters had their happy endings, Caroline’s villainous character had her comeuppance, and all was right with the world. In reality, though, Will’s happy ending continued to elude him. He knew by now that his happiness depended on Elizabeth Bennet. If he could not have her, then he could not foresee himself falling in love with anyone else.
Elizabeth walked up to him with a smile. He approached her. She gave him a hug and congratulated him for enduring the infamous Caroline Bingley as a co-worker for three months. He laughed in response.
“So, how do you feel? Are you glad it’s all over or will you miss making this movie?”
Will grinned. “Are you kidding? I’m excited. I won’t miss this movie for a second. I don’t want another film shoot like this. That’s it. No more romantic comedies for me. I’m ready to try something new.”
Elizabeth smiled. “Well, I’m happy for you. I think you did a great job. Anyway, I have good news.”
“Great. Surprise me.”
“I talked to my friend’s brother and he agreed to move the date of the party to this Saturday at eight. I hope you can still make it.”
“Of course I can…are you going alone? I can pick you up and drive you there if you want.”
Elizabeth blushed. “Oh…uh…well, I planned on going with Jane…but you can pick both of us up, if that’s okay?”
Will smiled. “Sure, no problem.”
“Okay, well…I have to get going...it’s almost time to open the club.”
“Oh, okay, I’ll see ya later.”
“Yeah…bye.”
Elizabeth started to walk away, but then stopped and turned around. She approached Will, who looked at her with raised eyebrows.
Elizabeth thrust her hands into her pockets. “So…uh…how did your date go?”
“My date?”
“Yeah…it was last Saturday, wasn’t it?”
Will slapped his forehead. “Oh yeah, that date…uh, it was okay, I guess,” he said, shrugging his shoulders.
Elizabeth smiled. “It seems like you would rather forget about it.”
Will grinned, pleased with the effect his little game seemed to have had on Elizabeth. It wouldn’t hurt her to get a taste of her own medicine.
“Yeah, I won’t be doing that again!”
Elizabeth laughed and then looked at her watch. “Oh crap, I really have to go now, or else I’ll be late. Bye!”
“Goodbye,” Will said with a chuckle as he watched Elizabeth flee from the Waldorf Astoria.
The night of the party arrived and Will struggled to stop himself from turning into a nervous wreck. He opened the door to Elizabeth’s apartment and gasped at the sight before him. Elizabeth wore a red halter-top and a black skirt, her hair let loose over her shoulders and her eyes highlighted by dark eye-liner. He couldn’t believe it. Though much more dolled up than usual, she had still managed to look like herself, rather than trying to be someone she wasn’t. This wasn’t the case of a nerdy tomboyish girl suddenly becoming the stunning princess of the ball; this was a gorgeous, modest woman who had pulled off a more glamorous look while still retaining her integrity. Struck with admiration, Will could not find the right words to express his musings. He stared at her. She smiled and reddened, turning towards her sister as if she wished to escape from his unwavering gaze.
Jane greeted him with a smile. “Hey Will. Thanks for picking us up tonight.”
“Sure, no problem. You both look amazing. Are you ready to go?”
Jane and Elizabeth nodded and followed Will to his car. Jane kept a conversation going with Will, while Elizabeth brooded throughout the ride. She seemed to lighten up once they set foot in the party though. She introduced him to her friend, but Will’s pleasure at meeting Charlotte Lucas did not last long. Not long after their meeting, a man Will had never met approached Elizabeth and asked her to dance. Elizabeth hesitated, but gave in after relentless prodding by Charlotte and Jane. Will’s stomach lurched as the handsome stranger took Elizabeth by the arm and escorted her to the dance floor.
Oblivious to Will’s disappointment, Charlotte turned to Will with a smug smile. “That’s Jane’s co-worker, Andrew. Jane and I are convinced he is perfect for Liz. He’s nice, charming, handsome, single, comes from a good family, and to top it all off, he’s a surgeon. Jane is dying to set him up with Elizabeth. We both think they will make an amazing couple. Don’t you agree?”
Will grimaced and forced a nod of his head. Charlotte didn’t seem to recognize his insincerity and continued to babble about how wonderful Andrew was and how he was destined to be with Elizabeth. Will tuned her out and stared at Elizabeth, all the while berating him self for succumbing to the stupidity of falling in love. Knowing his love for Elizabeth was unrequited had been hard enough, but to have a rival for her affections brought into the picture at this moment was beyond the pale. Jealousy and possessiveness reared their ugly twin heads, making it impossible for Will to watch Elizabeth smile and laugh as she danced with Mr. Perfect. He retreated to a corner of the room and drowned his sorrows in a paltry mug of stale beer.
Elizabeth later joined him, gazing at him with a look of curiosity. “Hey, how are you?”
Will shrugged his shoulders.
Elizabeth put her hand on his arm. “You look sad. Is anything wrong?”
Will averted his eyes. “No, not really.”
“Are you tired?”
“I’m all right…don’t mind me. I’m being a lousy jerk, as usual. You should go back to dancing with whoever that was. You looked like you were having fun, and he didn’t seem to mind being with you.”
“I’d rather dance with you,” Elizabeth said as she looked into his eyes.
Will grimaced. “I don’t feel like dancing tonight.”
Elizabeth grabbed hold of his hands. “Oh come on, they’re playing my favorite song. Won’t you dance with me, just this once?”
Will tore his eyes away from Elizabeth’s pleading face. He couldn’t dance with her. He would be a lost man if he did. He shook his head, unable to express another refusal. Elizabeth slumped her shoulders and pouted.
“What’s the matter with you? You’re no fun tonight!”
Will gave her a bitter, sardonic laugh. “Nobody forced you to come here and sit with me. You can leave me anytime. You have plenty of other friends to chat with,” he said, failing to sanitize the resentment in his voice.
Elizabeth stared at him for a few moments and then stood up, still keeping his hands enfolded in hers. She pulled him forward and turned around, dragging him out of the corner.
Will bristled. “Elizabeth, I meant it when I said I didn’t want to dance.”
“I know. I’m not going to make you dance.”
“Then where are you taking me?”
A mischievous smile spread onto Elizabeth’s features.
“You’ll see.”
She dragged him down the hall and opened a random door. Will walked into the bedroom with suspicious reluctance.
“What are we going to do here?”
Elizabeth gestured towards the bed. “Sit.”
Will crossed his arms in defiance, but Elizabeth insisted. He backed down and took a seat.
“What happens now?”
“Now, we talk,” Elizabeth said as she pulled a chair up across from him and sat down.
“Talk about what?”
“Anything you want…I hope you know that you can tell me about whatever it is that’s bothering you.”
“I have nothing to talk about. Did I say I wanted to talk? Because I don’t, and I don’t know what gave you that impression.” As he spoke, he shifted his body and started to get off the bed, but Elizabeth gripped his shoulders and pushed him back down.
She tilted her head to the side. “What could have given me that impression? Oh, I don’t know, maybe it was the sight of you sitting in the corner all by yourself with an empty beer mug in your hands, hanging your head and looking like a miserable wreck.”
Will rolled his eyes. “I am not miserable and the last thing I want to do right now is sit here and listen to your lectures.”
“What is your problem? Why are you so hostile tonight?”
Will grit his teeth. “I am not hostile.”
“Then why are you arguing with me when I’m trying to make you feel better?”
“Maybe I don’t want your pity.”
“What does pity have to do with anything? Did I say that I pity you?”
“You implied it.”
“When?”
“Oh God, I don’t know. Maybe when you said I looked like a miserable wreck and then dragged me here to force a confession out of me. If that’s not uncalled for pity, then I don’t know what is.”
Elizabeth stared at him in agitated silence. “I can’t understand you, sometimes. You don’t give me the whole story; you tell me part of it and keep the rest of your thoughts to yourself. I can’t read minds, Will. I won’t know how you feel if you don’t explain it to me.”
“And why should I trust you with my feelings? It’s not like you’ve been very kind to them,” Will lashed out, losing control over his tongue. The resentment, the frustration, the passion, and the hopelessness he had bottled up inside for months suddenly flooded out in a tidal wave of fury.
“All I’ve ever done is try to impress you. I couldn’t have been more obvious about my feelings for you in the beginning. I did everything, I said everything, I tried everything to get you to trust me, to get you to give me a chance, and what did I get for it in return? A fake friendship and a broken heart! You knew I admired you, you knew I wanted you, and yet you blinded yourself to all of it. You wanted friendship, I gave you friendship, you wanted me to stay in New York, I stayed in New York, and you repay me by inviting me to this party, flirting with someone else, then acting like nothing happened and asking me to dance, and then whining about it when I tell you I don’t feel like pushing myself into self-torture. Because that’s what dancing with you is, Elizabeth. Every moment I spend with you is torture. You are all that I want and you are all that I can’t have, because you’re too hung up on the past to admit how you really feel…and you must think I’m stupid. You must think I’m a complete idiot for putting up with you for so long, and maybe you’re right, maybe I am an idiot, but I’ve wised up now. I won’t deal with your games any longer. This ends now. I am not your friend. I never was your friend and I can never be your friend. I never stopped wanting you, Elizabeth, I only pretended to be indifferent to make you happy, but I won’t deny my feelings anymore. I’m not going to live a lie just because you want me to. If you want to keep living in denial for the rest of your life, then go right ahead, but you’ll have to do it without me, because I’m sick and tired of playing along with your stupid games. There, are you happy now? That, my dear Elizabeth, is the whole story!”
Will exhaled and stopped talking long enough to notice that Elizabeth had gone pale. She stood up from her chair and ran out of the room. He did nothing to stop her. He sat on the bed for a moment longer, and then walked out to where Jane and Charles were dancing. He poked Charles on the shoulder.
“Hey, I’m going home. I’ll see you later,” he shouted.
Charles turned around and opened his mouth, but Will didn’t wait for him to speak. He walked to the door, grabbed his jacket from the coat rack, and left.
Chapter Twelve
Posted on , 8 April 2008
Elizabeth ran without thinking. She bumped into people, but stopped only to apologize and then kept going. Andrew tried to stop her, calling her name and asking after her, but she paid him no heed. The only thought left in her mind was the unstoppable urge to escape. Her eyes had filled with tears, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop until she could be alone with her unfiltered emotions. She kept running until she felt a hand pull hard at her arm. Imagining she would find William if she turned around, she thrust her arm away and quickened the pace of her sprint. Jane’s voice broke through her cloud of confusion and she halted.
“Liz, what happened?”
She wiped the stray tears from her eyes and turned around.
“Not now, Jane. Please…I need to be alone.”
“Okay. I’m sorry. Charlie and I wanted to stay the night at his place, but he can drive us home if you want to leave.”
Elizabeth shook her head. “I don’t want to leave. I just want to be alone for a while.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. I don’t want to ruin your night, Jane. Go back inside and don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”
Jane approached Elizabeth and gave her a hug. Elizabeth clung to her sister and let her sobs slip out for a few seconds. She then drew away and gave Jane a kiss on the cheek.
“I’ll see you later.”
“I love you, Liz. I’ll always be here for you.”
Elizabeth smiled through her tears. “I know, Jane. I love you too.” She squeezed Jane’s hand and then walked down the hall. When she reached the stairs, she turned around and watched Jane go back into the room with Charlie’s hand draped across her shoulder. The pain she had been suppressing leaped forward at the sight of her sister so happily in love.
Elizabeth stared at the stairs, feeling broken in two. She sat down on the top of the cold stone steps and crossed her arms, gripping her body in order to retain a measure of composure. Her heart had gone numb. Her mind went blank. Shock had struck her first, but it was now on its way out, replaced by immense pain, then anger filtered in, followed by depression and ending with a melancholy note of loneliness. How did everything get so out of hand? What had she done to herself? What had she done to William?
William, poor, dear William. The memories of him made her shudder. The fury in his voice, the heartache in his eyes as he told her the feelings he had hid inside appeared before her, meting out the punishment she deserved. She drew her arms closer to her chest, as if holding her body tight would allow her to eradicate the oppression of her thoughts. Her efforts reaped no reward, for his words still hovered over her, the pained expression on his face seared into her mind’s eye. His story had painted her in the worst sort of light. She had been heartless, selfish, and cynical. She had pushed him away, fighting her feelings with all her might, and wounding her dearest friend in the process. Friend? William had spat out the word. She wished she had never used it.
From the beginning, she had chosen to lie and deny, when she should have been honest and open. She buried all of the worries, the longing, the hesitation, the excitement, and everything else she had felt in William’s presence, hoping her emotions would go away simply because she willed them to do so. Had she accepted the truth, rather than fighting it tooth and nail, she could have been engulfed in her lover’s arms, instead of sitting alone, covered in a shell of remorse in the stairway of her friend’s apartment building. The pain of isolation enveloped her and emptiness seeped into her bones. She stood up, unwilling to sit still while her sorrows overwhelmed her. She made her way down the stairs and slammed the exit doors of the apartment open.
Breathing in the brisk night air, Elizabeth gained a sense of purpose. She wandered to the parking lot and saw that Will’s car remained there. Smiling, she walked up to the car and sat on top of its hood. She took a notebook out of her pocket and started writing the lyrics to a song, using her scattered emotions and newfound revelations as her inspiration.
I told a lie, I’ve lived a lie
I see it now, clear as crystal shining in my face
I thought I knew how I felt, I thought I knew how we were
I didn’t know, I didn’t see
Your words have now taught meI only knew what I taught myself
I only saw what I wanted to see
I only thought of my own feelings
I only wanted to remain freeYou told the truth, you’ve lived the truth
You saw it then, as you do now
You knew yourself, you saw through me
You knew it all and you saw it all
But despite it all, you stuck with meYou’re not stupid, but you might be a saint
I’m not stupid now, but I was before
You wised me up, you sure showed me
I am sorry now, but will you forgive me?I only knew what I taught myself
I only saw what I wanted to see
I only thought of my own feelings
I only wanted to remain freeI fought myself, denied my heart
I thought it was all for the best
We could be friends and forget the rest
I screwed us up, with an awful start
Hurt myself, stabbed you in the chestI have nothing left to say
I’m sorry, I won’t forget this day
Now my lies are dead
I tell the truth, I live the truth
And it’s all because of what you said.
Elizabeth smiled as a melody started to reveal itself to her while she read over the lyrics. She hummed the tune to herself, since she didn’t have the luxury of a guitar in her hands to make the melody in her head a reality. The harmonious ingredients congealed in her mind, simmering in preparation for the creation of a song, but the notes dissolved when the sound of footsteps reached her ear. The shattering noise disbursed her concentration and she looked up to discover its malicious source. William stood before her with a bewildered gaze.
“What are you doing?”
She smiled, finding amusement in what should have been a moment of apprehension.
“I’m writing a song.”
“On the hood of my car?”
“There was no place else to sit.”
She slid off William’s car and leaned on her left foot, placing her hands on her hips. “I guess I should get a ride home with Charlie and Jane.”
Will sighed. “You don’t have to. I can drive you home.”
“Are you leaving now?”
“Yeah.”
“You’re sure you don’t mind?”
“I don’t mind…Elizabeth; despite everything I said earlier, I don’t hate you.”
Elizabeth bent her head. Will closed in on her. She looked up at him and held out the sheet of paper with the song lyrics.
“Please read this.”
“What is it?”
“It’s the song I wrote. It’s about us.”
Will took a moment to read the lyrics and then gave Elizabeth a piercing gaze.
“I’m sorry, William…I wish I could say more, I wish I could tell you how I feel right now, but I don’t think I’ve had enough time to absorb it all…I just want you to know that I’m really sorry and I never wanted to hurt you and if I could start over again from the beginning, I would do it in a heartbeat,” she said with a sigh of relief. There, she said it; she could now wait for his response in the solace of inner peace.
Will took her hands and smiled. He drew her right hand up and kissed it. Elizabeth froze, but Will carried out his intent. He ran his fingers through her hair and then grabbed her waist. Elizabeth could only gaze at him in mindless astonishment. Pulling her closer, he whispered in her ear.
“Tell me to stop and I will never see you again.”
“Don’t stop,” Elizabeth whispered when she gained some semblance of composure.
He bent his head and drew her into a passionate kiss. Elizabeth threw her arms around his neck and lost herself in the moment. He pulled away when they both had enough and opened the door of the passenger side of his car for her. She smiled at him and sat down. He took a seat as well and held her hand, giving her a kiss on the cheek before pulling the car out of the parking lot.
As usual, William escorted her to her apartment. She hesitated at her door for a moment, deliberating her next step. Should she invite him in? She wanted to, very much….but they would most likely…Jane had told her she would stay at Charlie’s place for the night…her and William would be alone…was she ready? She feared making a choice she would regret later. She looked up to his face and saw that hesitation wouldn’t accomplish anything. In the spur of the moment, she made her decision.
“Are you hungry?”
He grinned. “Yeah.”
“I have some pizza in the fridge. You can come in and have some, if you want.”
“Great, thanks.”
He followed her to the kitchen table, where they sat down in silent tension. Will took a big bite of his pizza. Elizabeth only stared at her plate. She had no appetite.
“I’m sorry for lashing out back there…I know you were looking forward to this party and I’m sorry I ruined it for you,” he said when he finished chewing.
Elizabeth shook her head. “Don’t say you’re sorry. You were right. I deserved to have my night ruined. I’ve been terrible to you this whole time…I won’t say that I’m sorry though, because I know sorry is not enough.”
Will washed off the pizza with a soda and then looked Elizabeth in the eye. “I don’t care what you think, sorry is good enough for me and I forgive you.”
Elizabeth laughed. “You’re just saying that to contradict me.”
Will rolled his eyes. “Yeah, right, because our last argument wasn’t bad enough!”
Elizabeth kept laughing, knowing he was playing along with her joke. “I’ll never understand how you manage to put up with me.”
Will smiled. “Easy answer, I love you.”
Elizabeth blinked, thinking she must have misheard him. The look in his eyes, however, backed up his words. Her face flushed and she gripped the edge of the table, not quite knowing what to do with herself.
Will didn’t seem the least bit disturbed. He took another bite of his pizza and stared at her with a straight face as he chewed.
“You all right?” he said in a casual voice.
Elizabeth stammered. “Uh…I don’t know…I guess so.”
“Come on now, get a hold of yourself. You shouldn’t be surprised. My feelings had to be obvious to you after that ridiculous performance I gave earlier.”
Elizabeth couldn’t stop blinking. “Well then…I don’t know what to say.”
“You could say you love me too, you know,” Will answered with a smirk. He then finished off his pizza.
Elizabeth laughed. “You say that like it means nothing. It’s almost like you’re joking.”
Will’s expression sobered. “I’m not joking…and I’m not acting either.”
“Oh, I think you are acting a little.”
Will clinched his jaw. “You still don’t believe me!”
“That’s not what I meant. I do believe that you love me, what I don’t believe is that you can be so casual about it. You’re pretending to be cool and confident, but I’m sure deep down, you’re a bundle of nerves right now.”
Will raised an eyebrow. “And why should I be a bundle of nerves?”
“Because I haven’t told you what you want to hear yet,” Elizabeth said with a knowing smile.
“You’re silly. I couldn’t care less what you say. I’ve told you how I feel. It’s your move now, time to put up or shut up.”
Elizabeth smirked and stood up from her chair. She grabbed his hand, which caught him off guard. She dragged him to her bedroom and started kissing him senseless. As expected, his cocky demeanor melted away in an instant and she could feel the hairs on his skin stand on end as she had her way with him. She pulled away with her lips etched into a smirk.
“You don’t look so carefree, now, wise guy.”
“Shut up,” he murmured with a snarl and drew her back into his arms. She had to laugh, but he put a stop to her mockery by covering her lips with his own. She let him overtake her senses and responded with passion, running her hands through his hair and leaning closer to him. He kissed her neck and went down a little further, but then halted. She whimpered in annoyance, but his pause lasted only a few seconds. He brought his head back up and kissed her mouth again.
The next morning, Elizabeth woke up to find a sleeping William Darcy huddled next to her. His arms were around her waist and his head bent against her shoulder. She smiled at how sweet and boyish he looked and then pushed a lock of his hair away from his eyes. She snuck her arm under his neck and kissed his cheek.
“William…Will…Willy…Bill…Billy…William Jonathan Darcy, wake up!”
He stirred, his eyes flying open. She giggled, watching his face as he tried to fight off the sleep-induced daze of the early morning. He groaned as she played with his hair.
“What time is it?” he said, struggling to lift his head off of the pillow.
Elizabeth turned to see the clock on the desk at the side of her bed. “It’s nine-thirty.”
“Oh,” Will put his head back on the pillow and shut his eyes.
Elizabeth nudged his shoulder with her fist. “Hey, wake up. I want to talk to you.”
Will groaned. “Now?”
“Yes, now.”
“But I’m tired,” he whined.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “Oh come on, you are way too young to get tired so easily.”
Her rebuke worked. He sat up straight and gazed at her with narrowed eyes.
“Fine, I’m listening. Start talking.”
Elizabeth hesitated. “I have to confess something…the biggest reason why I didn’t want to be with you, the reason why I fought against my feelings for you for so long is because…it’s because…the truth is, you reminded me of Mark, the musician that hurt me, in a lot of ways…you’re the same type of guy, the type of guy I had always been attracted to…the type of guy I’ve been avoiding ever since Mark dumped me…you reminded me of him, because you and he were both charismatic, popular, a little on the arrogant side, extroverted, chased after by fawning groupies... when I first met you I thought that’s all you were, another entertainer who cared about nothing other than fame, drugs, booze, and girls…and you have to admit, that night we met, you gave a terrible first impression.”
Will laughed, but Elizabeth noticed the reddened hue of his cheeks. “Yeah, I know…I was a jerk that night, I’m sorry.”
“That was another reason I couldn’t trust you. You were such a jerk that night, but after that you changed. It was like you were a completely different person, and I couldn’t tell which Will Darcy was the real you, the cocky jerk at the bar or the nice guy who really wanted to get to know me better.”
“I had been in a bad mood. I couldn’t memorize my lines and had a bad day at work. Then Charlie and Anne and Georgiana dragged me to your club when all I had wanted to do was stay home and rest…I’ve tried not to be like that anymore…I hope I’ve changed for the better since that night.”
“You have. Your ego is much more in check now,” Elizabeth said with a grin.
“Elizabeth, did you have any boyfriends after that…uh, after that guy, Mark, betrayed you?” Will asked after a long pause in the conversation.
“Yes, but those relationships didn’t last very long. After Mark, I went for the opposite kind of guy. I stayed away from the bad boy types and dated introverts, you know, academic types. I felt safer around guys like that, but after a while; they would start to bore me. It wasn’t until I met you that…that I felt tempted to…”
“Date another bad boy?” Will said with a smirk.
“Yeah, but I found out that you’re not really a bad boy. You just like to pose as one sometimes, for some strange reason.”
“I don’t pose. My reputation precedes me. I can’t help what pre-conceived notions people have when they meet me.”
“True…and anyway, I was wrong about you and I should have figured that out earlier. I’m sorry for all the pain I caused you.”
“Stop saying you’re sorry. I forgave you like a million times already!”
Elizabeth laughed. Will wrapped his arms around her and kissed her cheek. He started kissing her neck, but she stopped him.
“I’m starving. You want to have breakfast?”
Will sighed. “Yeah, sure.”
Elizabeth smiled, knowing he would much rather stay in bed. She stood up and he followed her to the kitchen, where they continued to express the feelings they had both kept hidden from each other throughout their acquaintance.
To be continued . . .