Posted on Monday, 15 January 2001

"It's a lovely day here at the Formula 1. Meryton Park is at it's best and the Kent corner is crowded. This is Johnny Harlow commentating and we foresee a dramatic and pressure packed day ahead, though the weather is currently fine the report warns us that it will deteriorate, possibly even a storm.

Both teams Darcy and Bennet have broken the lap records during training times, but Team Darcy were the last to break the lap record and as a result Darcy 1 is once more in the pole position. Bennet 1 has been consistently mediocre all season so far, and is sitting fifth on the grid. Though Bennet 2 has shown much flair, Bennet 2 has also shown an equal amount of unreliability. Bennet 2 is sitting second on the grid and we are counting on a tight race.

Darcy 1 has continued to show impressive form this year, winning four of the last six races, and on those other two races he stands at second. Darcy 1 has only to finish the race and he will have secured the Driver's World Championship. Darcy 2 has not been so fortunate for a rookie, Darcy 2 currently sits 23rd on the grid and they are laying bets on how many laps will pass before he crashes out.

Team Wickham sits at 14th, though it is expected that he will quickly improve his placing. A shock year for Team Wickham, Wickham 2 was crashed out early in the second race of the season and has not returned since, the rumours are still strong that Wickham 2 was deliberately side-swiping Darcy 2 when the accident occurred. Team Wickham claims that it was Team Darcy who caused the crash, but now it is a purely academic point and will probably never be answered.

The crowding is thick, but as usual there are few people gathered at the Netherfield Hairpins, last year's tragic crash seems to have had a great effect, but hopefully no one will come to grief at Netherfield this year.

Team Bingley has shown surprising resilience this year, Bingley 1 has consistently sat at fourth on the grid, but Bingley 2 has managed to pull off one win...though he has also shown a distressing tendency to crash out whenever he takes on Darcy 1.

Yes today is indeed a lovely day and with 65 laps of the race ahead of us I am sure we will not be disappointed in the drivers."

"Yes indeed Johnny, I must agree with you there, today promises to be a spectacular effort. Four seasons in one day, fierce rivalries and the Driver's Championship in contention. This is Ted Alastair joining Johnny Harlow in the commentary box, and boy are we putting on a race here at Meryton Park. In Longbourn straight the cars are waiting, they've already taken the warm up laps and now they are sitting around with tyre warmers on waiting for the call."

"The red has come, all drivers are in their cars and running the engines, the tyre warmers are off and the track is cleared. A day of activity and what promises to be a special day in history. What do you think Ted, will Darcy 1 secure the Driver's championship, or will Bennet 2 thwart him once again in this endeavour?"

"I'll give no guarantees on that, but I have heard that rivalry has arisen between Bingley 1 and Bennet 1...Have you heard anything on that?"

"No Ted...we have the orange...and we have the green. The race is underway friends and boy is this going to be the race of a life time. Darcy 1 has lead into the first corner, but Bennet 2 is challenging fiercely...Oh dear it would appear that the rivalry is indeed fierce between Bennet and Bingley 1, look at them jostle around that corner, rarely is such aggression to be seen in the driving of Bennet 1. Oh yes, Bennet 1 has passed Bingley 1 but now he has to contend with Bingley 2 and Bingley 2 is known for ferocity and fight, Bingley 2 has never given an inch in three years of racing, were it not for Darcy 1 there is little argument that he would have been a World Champion. Down into the Meryton strait we race, the pack is starting to even out and Darcy 1 seems to be showing the pack his heels...oh-oh, we have a challenge from Wickham 1 at Bennet 2, will Bennet 2 be able to withstand the assault...I don't believe it, Bennet 2 has stepped aside and let Wickham 1 through...I don't believe it, I just don't believe it. What possessed Bennet 2 to let Wickham 1 through so tamely, the Bennet Team must have a lot to say on this subject...it is so unlike Bennet 2."

"Unless it is part of Team Bennets plan, let Team Wickham through to harry Team Darcy in the early stages and at the first change take advantage of the situation to hopefully grab the lead."

"I don't like your reasoning Ted, it's plain suicide to let a Driver like Wickham 1 through...though Wickham 1 is certainly closing up fast on Darcy 1."

"Let's leave the fore runners for a bit, they've settled and are unlikely to have any major rearrangement of position within the next twenty laps. If we look into the tail, Team Collins seems to be gaining...Johnny, is it true that Collins 1 has received an offer from Team Bennet?"

"I hope not, Collins 1 has to be one of the most suicidally useless drivers to be found on the track today. He'll never dispute a corner but is full ready to throw his weight around in the flats when he thinks he has the advantage. Collins 1, no, it would be a bad move for Team Bennet to take on Collins 1...and why should they, team Bennet has two very efficient drivers."

"Perhaps it has to do with the eminent retirement of Bingley 2."

"The thought does not pan out, Team Bennet won't break up, not at this point, they're top of the Construction Championships and if Bennet 2 had been a little more reliable they may well have captured the Driver's championship as well...as it is, Bennet 2 will have to win the next three races and prevent Darcy 1 from even finishing if he is to take the Driver's Championship."

"Team Phillips has lost both cars, a pile up with Lucas 2 by the looks and they have been the first to crash out, and predictably they seem to have lost it on the Netherfield Hairpins...an absolutely criminal length of track that Johnny, four hairpins of near unbelievable sharpness and they have never been successfully taken at more than an average speed of sixty kilometres and hour. We are talking of major deceleration here, think of the forces acting on the drivers, they come down Meryton Strait at approximately 360 kilometres and hour, drop to 80 for the first hairpin, 60 for the second and third hairpins and down to 50 and 40 for the fourth hair pin. The drivers are then onto Walker Straight, before climbing up to Kent corner and the Coronado S-bends. The drivers leave the S-bends for Cheapside St. before they hit the Pemberley Hairpins. Pemberley hairpins alone warrant the name of this track, there have been no fewer then eleven fatal crashes in those hairpins, a reputation only affected by the crash last year which killed seventeen spectators at the Netherfield Hairpins."

"Yes Meryton Park is well worthy of its name the track from hell, the length insists that the race be 65 laps in length, but the average speed of any given car is well down to that on any other track in the circuit. With the Netherfield Hairpins, the Coronado S-bends and the Pemberley Hairpins it is a track to make the bravest shiver...and into the Netherfield Hairpins we go for the 19th time...and dear oh dear what has happened here? Wickham 1 has slid off and into the gravel pit...is his engine still...yes his engine is still running, Wickham 1 has miraculously extricated himself from the gravel pit and is back on the track, but he has paid a heavy penalty, he has dropped a clear 22 placings and is now at the very back of the pack."

"Bennet 2 has taken the lead from Darcy 1...what an unbelievably smooth manoeuvre, I defy Darcy 1 to have seen that one coming."

"I will agree, Darcy 1 did not expect Bennet 2 to attempt the outside overtake, but for once it has worked. Darcy 1 had closed the door, but Bennet 2 didn't need the door, so we have Bennet 2 leading out of the Pemberley Hairpins and starting the 20th lap, but Darcy 1 is close behind, they are separated by 0.01 seconds and the fight is far from over."

"I'll say it's far from over, look at Bingley 1 and Bennet 1, they continue to scrap...no I'm wrong, Bingley 1 has pulled well clear, in fact he is now well over a second in front...but whether Bingleys 1 and 2 can close the 14 second gap between themselves and Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 seems unlikely...and it now seems even more unlikely for the clouds are gathering and by the looks the first spots might be appearing on the tracks...yes we can see the odd umbrella already. Now let us see what happens, who will be first in? Who is going to go for the slicks and who is going to try to stay out for longer?"

"Oh-no, a collision, Collins 1 and Lucas 1 are both out of the race. Collins 1 appears to have attempted passing Lucas 1 at Kent corner. By the looks he clipped Lucas 1's front wheel as he passed, but what ever the reason the result is clear, Lucas 1 arced away, slamming spoiler into Collins 1 and as a result we have Collins 1 flipped in the sand trap and Lucas 1 is sitting in the gravel pit without a spoiler, the track is a mess but the marshals are onto it and it seems likely that the track will be cleared and the pace car will not be necessary."

"Well that is a sad ending to the race which Collins 1 declared was his for the taking."

"Yes indeed, a very sad ending, to be out in the 20th lap in a botched overtaking effort...but miraculously Darcy 2 is still on the track and in fact has improved to 10th, what has overtaken this Rookie? This is the driving which was originally expected but never found?"

"Possibly Darcy 2 has finally overcome being one of the youngest Formula One rookies in history and has actually decided to race."

"Well we'll see, there's a lot left to this race, it's not over yet and we already have had five retirements from 27 starters."

"Yes indeed, and with the weather deteriorating as it is I think we can predict many more retirements before the day is out."

"Yes indeed, this rain is becoming progressively heavier and we already have the first cars in, lap 23 is early for a pit stop but very clearly they are all taking on their slicks and topping up with fuel."

"Team Wickham is still the second last car, and it seems unlikely that his position will improve for it is a well known fact that Team Wickham does not drive well during the wet. Possibly it is his overly aggressive approach, but whatever the reason Team Wickham tends to slide out during a wet race with distressing frequency."

"Certainly Wickham 1's tendency to attack corners does him no service during the wet, to see wet weather driving at it's finest one had best watch both Darcy 1 and Bennet 2, both these driver's are past masters at the art of driving in the wet. Watch them as they come into the Pemberley Hairpins. Water is spraying every where and yet for some unexplainable reason neither driver seems to have been called in yet. Team Bennet in fact hasn't even set up to receive Bennet 2, and Bennet 1 was changed over a lap ago now. And is that amazing driving or is that amazing driving, Darcy 1 has retaken the lead on the starting line. Clearly a premeditated move by Darcy there, and magnificently executed he now has a 0.3 second lead on Bennet 2 and looks very interest in increasing it as they enter the Netherfield hairpins."

"Another casualty...no in fact there are two casualties, Teams Denny and Forrester have both lost their only drivers. I say is this a race or is this a race Johnny."

"I'd say this is a race, and on lap 27 and both Bennet 2 and Darcy 1 have entered the pits, they are nearly the last drivers to come in, Darcy 2 has been on slicks for five laps now."

"I don't believe it, Bennet 2 has beaten Darcy 1 out of pit lane by a clear 0.25 of a second. Bennet 2 gained over a second on Darcy 1 during that change...what happened in the pits for Darcy 1?"

"By the looks, Ted, the tyre was not correctly threaded on the initial effort and a good second was lost in getting it lined up correctly."

"Which means Darcy 1 must have had a blistering pit stop had it not been for the tyre accident."

"Both driver's have taken on a full loading of fuel and slicks and such is their lead that they have re-entered the race still at one and two, whether they will remain there remains to be seen."

"The rain is falling with ever increasing force here and the crowd is visibly thinning, only the real diehards will remain out and watch in such vicious weather as this. The race is started to thin out drastically, we have now lost over half the starters to spin outs and collisions."

"Oh I don't believe it, I don't believe it, Darcy 1 has clipped wheels with Bennet 2 at the Kent corner and is in the gravel pit. Bennet 2 is clearly struggling, but alright...but will Darcy 1 manage to emerge from the gravel pit."

"The fact that Darcy 1's wheels are still spinning is a hopeful sight but the pack is closing in fast...oh there we go and Darcy 1 is out of the gravel pit, straight across the track and onto the grass on the other side, what is this man made of?"

"What's more is the question of what his car is made of, he treats it like a tank, that is the third time he has glanced along the crash barrier, clearly Darcy 1 has steering problems."

"Steering problems he now has under control. That damage has been sustained by both vehicles is unquestionable, the big question is how much damage has been sustained and is it repairable...but both Bennet 2 and Darcy 1 are clearly headed for the pits for both teams have pit staff running all over the place."

"It would appear that Darcy 1 is driving with one flat front wheel and his nose is badly bent, the question now is whether he has sufficient control to get it into the pits, or will he come unstuck at the S-bends or Pemberley hairpins."

"Bennet 2 is also clearly in trouble but I cannot be quite sure what the problem is."

"Rear spoiler trouble by the looks. This crash is going to cost both teams dearly."

"Well Bennet 2 has just reached the pits and he is drumming his hands impatiently...yes it is the rear spoiler they've removed it already, it also appears to be a flat tyre."

"Darcy 1 has just arrived, yes the nose cone is off along with...I don't believe it, Darcy 1 has just driven his car the whole way from Kent corner with two flat front wheels, a flat rear, a ruined nose and what could be a slightly bent front axle...certainly the pit staff are hammering away the axle and not being at all gentle about it...oh dear oh dear smoke is coming from the back of Bennet 2, this is not a good sign at all, he has already clocked up half a minute in the pit and only the wheels and fuel have been done so far."

"The smoke is actually from behind the Bennet, not from the Bennet and they are attaching that new rear spoiler at a fantastic rate, here's hoping that it will not bee an utter cow out on the track. With new wheels, new fuels, a new spoiler and what looks like a fresh drink cylinder Bennet is finally dropped from the jack...but no...oh no the car seems to have stalled or something, certainly Bennet 2 is back up on the Jacks."

"Darcy 1 has just been released and is heading slowly and cautiously up pit lane, it would not surprise me in the slightest if Darcy 1 drives somewhat cautiously for a while, he's practically had the car replaced around him...and Bennet 2 is off the Jacks and flying up pit lane. 45 seconds and 1 minute ten, oh what a grievous blow for both teams, Bennet 2 and Darcy 1 are now just under a lap behind the pack."

"But they don't look like staying there for long, watch them fly through the Netherfield Hairpins, anyone would think that the track was completely dry and there wasn't a cloud in the sky by the way those two are driving."

"Yes indeed, if there was any doubt about these two being the best drivers on the circuit all doubt must now be laid to rest...Oh man Johnny, did you see that? Bennet 2 has just executed what must be one of the slickest overtaking moves in history, in fact one might be forgiven for saying that Bennet made it look like a stroll in the park, and the Pemberley Hairpins are never a stroll in the park...Darcy 1 should be shaking his head at that."

"I think Darcy 1 is too occupied with staying on the track to worry about overtaking manoeuvres, passing is devilish with this much water around."

"True true...oh dear, oh dear Bennet 2 is into the gravel at the Netherfield hairpins...it would appear that Wickham 1 cut him off as he came to pass. Wickham 1 attempted to close that door far too late...but fortunately Bennet 2 has extricated himself from the gravel and is in hot pursuit once more."

"Is that telepathy or is that telepathy, anyone would think that Darcy 1 deliberately forced both Wickham 1 and Lydia 2 of the track, a neat manoeuvre if ever I saw one. No choice, no choice at all. Not only is Darcy 1 one of the best drivers in the current circuit, possibly the best driver in history, but he also has to be one of the most cunning and careful drivers. as Wickham 1 went to close the door, once again that little bit too late Darcy 1 has abruptly slipped down from above a move which forced Lydia 2 to run up the back of Wickham 1 and has forced both out of the race, Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 are still at the back of the pack but they are gaining and passing quickly."

"What a race, what a race this has been. Still 29 laps remaining, but we are less than half the original number of cars...and by the looks half the original number of spectators. So far there have been no fatal crashes, but we have had our fair share of crashes and pile ups, the most spectacular of these being the crash between Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 a mere ten laps ago which saw both cars limping back to the pits and practically rebuilt around the drivers."

"Did you see that? Darcy 2 just conceded to both Darcy 1 and Bennet 2, that has to have been the most sportsmanlike move of this race, to have conceded to Darcy 1 was to be expected because there is no question that Darcy 1 is the better driver, but to let Bennet 2 through as well, either it was an accident or it was a move which deserves an award for sportsmanship for Darcy 2 is well known to be a past master at preventing people from passing and he could have held Bennet 2 up for quite a considerable time."

"But holding Bennet 2 up is not within Darcy 2's character, it is a well known fact that Darcy 2, though fully gifted and willing to fight, he will never hold up the race, a very fair-minded driver."

True, very true indeed Johnny. And here we are in lap 54 with only Bingley 1 and Bennet 1 ahead of race favourite Darcy 1 and his race tormentor Bennet 2. A more thrilling race would be hard to find, and such a determined effort from Bennet 2, he has remained practically nailed to the back wheels of Darcy 1 ever since he got out of the gravel pit and Wickham 1 and Lydia 2 were forced from the track."

"Yes indeed, a most admirable effort, few drivers have the limpit like tenacity to do that for an entire race."

"Eight laps to go, eight laps to go in what will probably be a historic race. Eight laps to go and of 27 starters a megre nine remain out, racing, and on the track."

"Make that eight Ted, make it eight drivers. Lydia 1 just spun out and into the gravel pits at Pemberley Hairpins. By the looks Lydia 1 took the second hairpin just a shade too fast, probably was doing about eighty and should have been doing 78."

"Well that's blow for team Lydia. Only two teams remain with both drivers on the circuit, Teams Bennet and Darcy have shown remarkable resilience and skill to keep both drivers out and active, though Bennet 1 and Bingley 1 seem to have resumed their rivalry as fiercely as before."

"What happened to Bingley 2, when did he go out? Did I miss something?"

"Bingley 2 stalled in the sand trap on the Pemberley Hairpins fifteen laps ago by my records Ted...now back to the race, and we've only got five laps to go...Oh my, collision, collision, collision, Bingley 1 and Bennet 1 have both gone bush and run into the crash barrier at the far end of Meryton Strait. It would appear that both drivers are uninjured for they have both left their cars and jumped over the barrier and mechanics and marshals are coming around to push the cars away. We're down to a mere six cars left on the track and it looks sparse all things considered but Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 have retaken the lead once more, they are followed by Collins 2, Darcy 2, Nod 1 and Gardiner 1. With five laps left the result seems to be settled, but as we've seen already nothing in this race is at all predictable, between Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 it's all even-stephen, either of them could win, or both could yet spin out, though such I view as unlikely since they've already nearly been ousted twice."

"Three laps left, the countdown is on and the remaining spectators are huddled either in the grandstand or under various sheets of plastic and tarpaulin...I don't believe it, will you watch Collins 2, he is flying through the Coronado S-bends and by the looks he'll catch both Bennet 2 and Darcy 1 on the Meryton Straight...possibly he'll catch them on Longbourn Straight, who knows."

"I concur with you there Johnny, indeed Collins 2 will catch both Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 unless those two abruptly decide to accelerate some more. But with both of them already having had a bad crash and a spinout each, as well as the big chase, it seems likely that they are starting to tire badly in which case it is unlikely they will use the acceleration necessary to hold of the pending...oh my word are the press going to have a field day, Collins 2 has spun out of control on Longbourn Straight and with his spin he has taken both Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 with him. Unbelievable, what a tragedy, the race which was supposed to confirm the Driver's Champion seems to have done little but to show that a field of 27 can be nicely reduced to a field of three without any loss of life."

"Yes and as we enter the last lap it looks like Darcy 2 will win the race and loft the trophy, followed by Gardiner 1 and Nod 1. Yes that is most certainly the current line up and it looks like holding as we are safely through the Pemberley hairpins for the last time. I can see both Darcy 1 and Bennet 2, they are standing in the marshals section at the finish line. Their conversation seems to be amicable and most certainly they are both there to cheer Darcy 2 home. Oh what a day of surprises, and it is indeed a race which may be remembered. We have had spectacular crashes, we have had protests to the race committee, we have had dramatic rivalries and tearful endings, we have also seen the triumph of a rookie. The only question that remains now is whether Darcy 2 is going to remain down low in the ranks, or will he climb and show why Team Darcy took him on. Was this survival a mere flash in the pan or is it a warning of what is yet to come for Darcy 2 has displayed nearly as great a mastery of the conditions as Darcy 1 and Bennet 2 displayed. We have the rest of the season left in which we have a Driver's Championship and a Constructors Championship to settle, we also have the decisions to make on who are the arrowhead of the next generation. This is Johnny Harlow and Ted Alastair signing off and hoping you enjoyed this race. Good-day all."